Dow Hits 29,000; "Will it Poof?" Ask Puffitt
Omaha, Nebraska. USA. Woof Blister with another SOB story - Spoof On Business. Only a week after the Dow came within 1,000 points of wiping out the 11,000-point pandemic bear market, the Dow today closed less than 500 points short of that goal. Coupl…A baby that has hardly ever stopped crying for all it's worth since it first made its appearance in the world in June, probably didn't want to born, it's been claimed. The baby, a boy who was the subject of an earlier report, has cried, wept, sobb…
Man Just Knew Claude Lantier Was Going To End Up In Bed With Irma Becot
A man who is an enthusiastic reader of French literature, and who was reading 'The Masterpiece' by the French author, Emile Zola, claims he "just knew", with absolute certainty, that the 'hero' of the story was going to end up in bed with Irma Becot…"Dithering is my strongest trait" claims UK PM, BOJO!
(UNEDITED) "I would never have hacked it into Nr 10 unless I was a huge ditherer, bringing confusion, chaos, and not letting people know what I actually mean; it's my strongest characteristic, or not, or yes!" BOJO recently divulged to Jaggedone in a…President Trump Tells a Group of High School Students They Don’t Have to Wear Their COVID-19 Masks
TARANTULA FALLS, Rhode Island â€" (Satire News) - The 45th president and his top adviser, Ivanka Trump, traveled to Tarantula Falls, Rhode Island, to speak before an assembly of students at Mrs. Paul Revere High School. Trump told the 147 students n…Tiffany Trump Addresses the Rumors That She Will Be Replacing Tucker Carlson at Fox News
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - President Trump’s second daughter was asked by Entertainment Tonight about the latest rumors coming out of the 24-hour rumor mills. Tiffany was asked if it was true that Fox News is seriously considering having her…Woman Can Paint Pictures Without Even Looking At Them
Art critics have been astounded by the discovery of an amazing new talent in the world of painting, a woman who produces stunningly beautiful pictures without even bothering to look at what she is doing! Caprice de la Vienetta, who is Italian, cre…Biden: Can’t Wait To Get Into Kamala’s Snickers
BILLINGSGATE POST: Yesterday, in his first appearance on the campaign trail since coming out of his basement, Joe Biden mentioned that he couldn’t resist chocolates and had a secret craving for Snickers. “I can’t wait to get into Kamala’s Snicker…The New England Patriots are Caught Purchasing Illegal Football Helmets
BOSTON â€" (Sports Satire) - Two NFL teams who have been caught cheating the most are the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots. And now reports out of NFL headquarters say that the Patriots are at it again. Sporting Chance Magazine rep…LONG ISLAND, New York â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Back in April, Major League Baseball hired an investigating firm from Manhattan to conduct a secret investigation into all 30 MLB teams. CBS Sports is reporting that the firm, Kellogg, Fribble, & Quay,…
Jury Required For Up-Skirt Pervert
Reading Crown Court have taken the unprecedented step of advertising for a 12-person jury to try a local man. Normally, if someone gets a jury summons in the post, they must respond within 7 days. You will be part of a jury of 12 people to decide…So Nancy Pelosi Didn’t Wear A Face Mask
The sky fell! Boom. Every Republican is pointing fingers at Nancy Pelosi because she didn’t wear a face mask while having her hair shampooed. Kind of impossible to wear a mask while your hair is being shampooed. Do you think she should have held…Lionel Messi vows to donate his future £1 million pound weekly salary to his own pocket!
(UNEDITED) Professional footballers are renowned, sometimes, for their kindness and appreciation to others who cannot kick a ball as good as them. Christmas hospital visits, donating to kiddies charities, purchasing a Bentley or Rolls Royce weekly (t…HONG KONG â€" (Trivia News) - In a move that the civilized world is referring to as the epitome of a tit-for-tat game, China’s leader Xi Jinping has decided to rub tit-tatting in Trump’s face. The Chinese leader said that he has had it up to his ear…
Trump Clinks 3 Bottles Together, asks Biden to ‘Come out and play-ee-ay’
WASHINGTON â€" In a move designed to appeal to the 51 to 56-year-old demographic, Donald Trump appeared in the Rose Garden this morning with three empty beer bottles. He held them by sticking 3 fingers of his right hand into the bottle necks and then s…A man who claimed he feared for his life, has told how he was rudely awoken this morning by the shrieking of a bird which was attempting to get into his house to attack him. In a scene reminiscent of those in Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds', a bird…
New equation proves existence of alien Steely Dan
First there was the Drake Equation, devised in 1961, which theorised the existence of alien civilisations, and now a New York scientist has gone one better by proving that the existence of an alien version of the 1970s jazz rock band Steely Dan is a…Traces of the Coronavirus Are Found at AT&T Stadium, Home of the Dallas Cowboys
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) - Health inspectors with the Lone Star State Health Institute have reported that they found some traces of the Coronavirus in the kitchen of The Troy Aikman Barbecue Bar & Grill, located inside AT&T Stadium. Inspec…Trump Tweet: "My Favorite Bible Story is When Jesus Drove Antifa Out of the Tabernacle. Awesome!"
Washington - President Donald Trump, fresh off his triumphant GOP Convention in which every single family member and their girlfriends endorsed him for President, relaxed Sunday with some well deserved golf, but not before getting on twitter to refle…Washington - GOP Convention speeches, which included appearances by accomplished, insightful, and respected speakers such as Eric Trump, Tiffany Trump, Melania Trump, Donald Trump Jr. and girlfriend of Donald Trump Jr., focused the emergence of the "…
Caitlyn Jenner Has Been Elected President of The Pink Lives Matter Organization
LOS ANGELES â€" (Satire News) - The former Bruce Jenner, and now Caitlyn Jenner, has just been elected president of the Pink Lives Matter movement. Ms. Jenner beat out three other individuals who were vying for the job that will pay $900,000 a year,…CHICAGO â€" (Sports Satire) - The Chicago Cubs organization has always had a pulse on the city located on Lake Michigan. ESPN-5 talked to Cubs manager David Ross at a local Red Lobster, and discussed his latest idea regarding the Black Lives Matter…
Coronavirus Could Be With Us Forever, Says Former Basil Brush Companion Roy North
The Coronavirus, Covid-19, which surfaced in the Chinese city of Wuhan earlier this year, is proving to be a formidable foe, may prove to be unvanquishable, and might be with us, amongst the human population forever. Boom! Boom! So says the actor…Political Pundits Say The Double-Haters Will Vote For Joe Biden
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) - The political clock is tick-tocking away, and it's just mere weeks before the presidential election arrives, and many say it can’t get here quick enough. Reuters is reporting that both campaigns are confident that each on…Man Had Bitten Off More Than He Could Chew
We've all heard it said many times before - the somewhat admonishing phrase "you've bitten off more than you can chew!" - and that was exactly the case for one man at the weekend when he bit off more than he could chew. The man in question was non…Miley Cyrus Recreates Her 2013 Wrecking Ball Video at the 2020 MTV Music Video Awards
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - According to several celebrity publications, pop icon Miley Cyrus ran away with the MTV Music Video Awards Show that was held in the Big Apple. Bam Bam Boom News reported that the former twerking queen hit it out of…A Noted Meteorologist Says The California Wildfires are Being Fanned by the Coronavirus
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California â€" (Satire News) - One of the nation’s leading meteorologists has just announced that 89% of California’s wildfires are being fanned by the Coronavirus. Dr. Irving Ortega stated that, after a 16-week extensive study, he…Drug Enforcement Agents Find 2,000 Pounds of Marijuana in Yankee Stadium
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has divulged that DEA agents, acting on a tip, went to Yankee Stadium to check out a report of possible drugs on the premises. A team of six federal agents scoured the stadium gr…Delia Smith Says Brexit Has Left A Bland Taste In Her Mouth
Celebrity cookstress Delia Smith might not be the most likely candidate to put people straight about the political issues of the day, but she's been speaking on the subject of Britain's exit from the European Union this week, and she might just make…US Congress has just passed a bill enabling the Armed Forces of the United States to take possession of the Statue of Liberty in New York, and to convert it into a nuclear missile launching site. It is believed that the Army are looking at storing…