Woman Can Paint Pictures Without Even Looking At Them
Art critics have been astounded by the discovery of an amazing new talent in the world of painting, a woman who produces stunningly beautiful pictures without even bothering to look at what she is doing! Caprice de la Vienetta, who is Italian, cre…Biden: Can’t Wait To Get Into Kamala’s Snickers
BILLINGSGATE POST: Yesterday, in his first appearance on the campaign trail since coming out of his basement, Joe Biden mentioned that he couldn’t resist chocolates and had a secret craving for Snickers. “I can’t wait to get into Kamala’s Snicker…Jury Required For Up-Skirt Pervert
Reading Crown Court have taken the unprecedented step of advertising for a 12-person jury to try a local man. Normally, if someone gets a jury summons in the post, they must respond within 7 days. You will be part of a jury of 12 people to decide…Lionel Messi vows to donate his future £1 million pound weekly salary to his own pocket!
(UNEDITED) Professional footballers are renowned, sometimes, for their kindness and appreciation to others who cannot kick a ball as good as them. Christmas hospital visits, donating to kiddies charities, purchasing a Bentley or Rolls Royce weekly (t…A man who claimed he feared for his life, has told how he was rudely awoken this morning by the shrieking of a bird which was attempting to get into his house to attack him. In a scene reminiscent of those in Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds', a bird…
Trump Clinks 3 Bottles Together, asks Biden to ‘Come out and play-ee-ay’
WASHINGTON â€" In a move designed to appeal to the 51 to 56-year-old demographic, Donald Trump appeared in the Rose Garden this morning with three empty beer bottles. He held them by sticking 3 fingers of his right hand into the bottle necks and then s…New equation proves existence of alien Steely Dan
First there was the Drake Equation, devised in 1961, which theorised the existence of alien civilisations, and now a New York scientist has gone one better by proving that the existence of an alien version of the 1970s jazz rock band Steely Dan is a…HONG KONG â€" (Trivia News) - In a move that the civilized world is referring to as the epitome of a tit-for-tat game, China’s leader Xi Jinping has decided to rub tit-tatting in Trump’s face. The Chinese leader said that he has had it up to his ear…
Traces of the Coronavirus Are Found at AT&T Stadium, Home of the Dallas Cowboys
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) - Health inspectors with the Lone Star State Health Institute have reported that they found some traces of the Coronavirus in the kitchen of The Troy Aikman Barbecue Bar & Grill, located inside AT&T Stadium. Inspec…Coronavirus Could Be With Us Forever, Says Former Basil Brush Companion Roy North
The Coronavirus, Covid-19, which surfaced in the Chinese city of Wuhan earlier this year, is proving to be a formidable foe, may prove to be unvanquishable, and might be with us, amongst the human population forever. Boom! Boom! So says the actor…Delia Smith Says Brexit Has Left A Bland Taste In Her Mouth
Celebrity cookstress Delia Smith might not be the most likely candidate to put people straight about the political issues of the day, but she's been speaking on the subject of Britain's exit from the European Union this week, and she might just make…Political Pundits Say The Double-Haters Will Vote For Joe Biden
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) - The political clock is tick-tocking away, and it's just mere weeks before the presidential election arrives, and many say it can’t get here quick enough. Reuters is reporting that both campaigns are confident that each on…Miley Cyrus Recreates Her 2013 Wrecking Ball Video at the 2020 MTV Music Video Awards
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - According to several celebrity publications, pop icon Miley Cyrus ran away with the MTV Music Video Awards Show that was held in the Big Apple. Bam Bam Boom News reported that the former twerking queen hit it out of…A Noted Meteorologist Says The California Wildfires are Being Fanned by the Coronavirus
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California â€" (Satire News) - One of the nation’s leading meteorologists has just announced that 89% of California’s wildfires are being fanned by the Coronavirus. Dr. Irving Ortega stated that, after a 16-week extensive study, he…Caitlyn Jenner Has Been Elected President of The Pink Lives Matter Organization
LOS ANGELES â€" (Satire News) - The former Bruce Jenner, and now Caitlyn Jenner, has just been elected president of the Pink Lives Matter movement. Ms. Jenner beat out three other individuals who were vying for the job that will pay $900,000 a year,…Drug Enforcement Agents Find 2,000 Pounds of Marijuana in Yankee Stadium
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has divulged that DEA agents, acting on a tip, went to Yankee Stadium to check out a report of possible drugs on the premises. A team of six federal agents scoured the stadium gr…Washington - GOP Convention speeches, which included appearances by accomplished, insightful, and respected speakers such as Eric Trump, Tiffany Trump, Melania Trump, Donald Trump Jr. and girlfriend of Donald Trump Jr., focused the emergence of the "…
Trump Tweet: "My Favorite Bible Story is When Jesus Drove Antifa Out of the Tabernacle. Awesome!"
Washington - President Donald Trump, fresh off his triumphant GOP Convention in which every single family member and their girlfriends endorsed him for President, relaxed Sunday with some well deserved golf, but not before getting on twitter to refle…Hitler Youth storm Reichstag Building in Berlin!
(UNEDITED) History repeated itself in Berlin after Nazi morons decided to copy French revolutionaries and their successful attempt to storm the Bastille. However, this storm, not a hurricane, but Americans could do with one to topple Trumpy, was not…CHICAGO â€" (Sports Satire) - The Chicago Cubs organization has always had a pulse on the city located on Lake Michigan. ESPN-5 talked to Cubs manager David Ross at a local Red Lobster, and discussed his latest idea regarding the Black Lives Matter…
Biden Coughs Up Hairball On “The Viewâ€, Whoopi Goldberg Loses Lunch
BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen to Joe Biden sooner or later. No matter how fastidious he might be, if you have a penchant for sniffing hair, someday an alarming and somewhat disgusting thing will happen to you. After coming out of his baseme…Sharp-eyed security officials have begun investigating links to foreign powers in our wildlife parks. Suspicions have fallen particularly on pandas. “They are Chinese, aren’t they?†revealed Lady Flake (Home Office and Gardens). “What are they do…
MANCHESTER, New Hampshire - (Satire News) â€" The President was in Manchester holding a campaign pep rally before a crowd of 220 supporters, all unmasked, and not a one adhering to the self-distancing policy. They crowd of MAGAians cheered everythin…
Formula One Set To Re-Introduce Dolly-Birds…
After the age old debate of 'What Came First - The Chicken Or The Egg?', Formula One has had its fair share of similar debates. The biggest one being, 'Is This Even A Sport?' After years of pub fights, ruined Sundays, and even days when you though…Man Isn't Going To Fall For That Old Chestnut
A man has spoken out assertively, and said that he might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even so, he's not going to fall for that old chestnut! Myke Woodson, of Oaf-on-Sea, East Yorkshire, said that he is not as daft as he looks, and…Giancarlo Granda, Alias “The Falwell Pool Boy†Finally Speaks Out
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - After staying quiet for several days, the nation’s most famous former pool cleaner is speaking out. Giancarlo Granda told TMZ that Jerry and Becki Falwell, who claim to be devoted evangelicals, are about as religio…US Congress has just passed a bill enabling the Armed Forces of the United States to take possession of the Statue of Liberty in New York, and to convert it into a nuclear missile launching site. It is believed that the Army are looking at storing…
Europe recovering from worst of coronavirus
Statistics show that Europe have been among the worst-hit by coronavirus throughout the world, yet their response was positive and they appear to be recovering well. I spoke to singer Joey Tempest about the pandemic. "When drummer Tony Reno was ho…2020: The Year Of The Polished Turd…
After the year everybody has had so far, Spoof writer Paul Blake has won a coveted Pulitzer Prize. In May, it was decided to scrap the prize due to the pandemic, but after a serious amount of sensible thinking by the Americans, they decided to aw…Joe Pasquale Makes Wedding Speech About Immigration
Joe Pasquale, the Cockney Joe Pesci, who stunned listeners with his forthright views on Brexit recently, has done it again, this time on the extremely sensitive topic of immigration. In front of a large gathering of guests at a wedding party he ha…