Trump v. Biden Big Fight Preview
As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President Trump in thi…Intercept managers throw tantrum on Glenn Greenwald's report of Biden cluster-f*ck situation
The Intercept has clarified its editorial policies, following Glenn Greenwald's sudden departure from that organization. In essence, Mr. Greenwald "used to be" top-notch, but has fallen to new lows of self-serving and otherwise scratching his ass.Hammock Collapsed, Whilst Man's Wife Was Sleeping In It
Hammocks are a 'cool' way to relax and enjoy a rest, and are known for their comfort and ability to gently rock to sleep anyone in need of a long nap - until they collapse, that is! And, despite what you might think, hammocks collapse with alarmin…Adam Schiff refuses wrestling match with Bobulinski in Madison Square Gardens
Former business associate of Hunter Biden, Mr. Tony Bobulinski, yesterday invited Representative Schiff to a showdown and “manly resolutionâ€. “In the old days, there was the duel,†Mr. Bobulinski (earlier an expert wrestler) said. “Today? Well, h…Smell Of Dead Animal Pervaded The Air In Room
The smell of death is not one easily forgotten once it has been smelt, and that was the case for one family this week, after they became aware of a dreadful stench, in their bedroom, of some kind of animal which, despite a lengthy search, could not b…Ted Cruz to Twitter: “Stop Censuring Trump; My Wife IS Ugly and My Dad DID Kill JFK“
Washington - The presidents of Twitter, Facebook and Google were called in front of a Senate Committee chaired by Texas Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican who grilled the social media companies about actions they have taken to censure information on thei…President Trump Brags That His Border Wall Has Stopped The Flow of Counterfeit Tortillas
MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan â€" (Satire News) - President Trump spoke at a MAGA Campaign Haters Rally before a crowd of 89 to 91 people, who were shivering in the 17 degree weather. He told the crowd that he felt as fit as a five-month-old baby. He even…NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The powers that be at Fox News are in a tizzy, after several of their top hosts and employees have tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus. iNews is reporting that Brett Baier, Martha MacCallum, Dana Perino, and…
ARLINGTON, Texas â€" (Sports Satire) â€" After winning game 6 to capture the World Series Championship, player who had been removed from the game, after testing positive for COVID-19, suddenly darted out of his isolation cage, and onto the playing field.
Top 10 Reasons to Reelect President Trump
Here are the top 10 reasons for patriotic Americans to reelect President Donald J. Trump. But don’t worry if you can’t make it to the polls on election day. It might not matter at the end of that day. If, by some unimaginable fluke, President T…US elections may be hacked by Russ Abbot
Security services have warned that the upcoming US presidential election may be hacked by 1980s comedian Russ Abbot. According to the CIA, Abbot has already launched millions of cyber attacks on the US over the last few years, mainly aimed at social…Donald Bashar Assad Trump Retargets A-bombs, Nerve Gas?
The White House, Washington, D. C. A SOURful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof On Unverified Rumors. Millions from the left and right are preparing to pour into the streets of every metropolis, village and town in America following Tuesday's perhaps…Cliff Richard needs a little help from his friends
Singer Cliff Richard has admitted he asked other noted performers such as Elton John, Elvis Costello and Rolf Harris to write songs for his new album. Sir Cliff was considering a new musical direction, and thought the other legends would help him ach…Woman Looked As If She'd Got Dressed In The Dark
Fashions are different the world over, and it's a widely-used saying that "it wouldn't do for us all to look the same", but there are limits, and the way one woman was attired at the weekend left a man who saw her thinking that she might have got dre…Snow White's Doc not qualified to give advice about Covid 19
Although he is known the world over as Doc, Doc from Snow White has no medical credentials, and so when asked for his advice about COVID-19, please take it with a pinch of salt. Living with Grumpy, Happy, the ironically-named Sneezy, and Snow Whit…Picking noses in public in the UK is now forbidden!
(NOT EDITED) Latest Covid guidelines issued by the UK PM, and his advisors, has caused riots in major cities all over the country. Mainly men are protesting about the regulation because mainly men do it in public. Whereby, females tend to be more dis…After months of self-isolation watching Happy Days reruns and Harry Potter movies on Netflix with his kids, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly spent most of Wednesday morning asking friends and staffers whether this Halloween was the o…
The Bear - Obama - Is Off His Leash
The Bear Is Off His Leash means that Barack Obama is on the campaign trail. While off the leash, Obama is gleefully bashing Donald Trump. During a campaign stop in Florida, former President Barack Obama made a campaign announcement by way of needling…HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that one of the most respected actresses in Tinsel Town is asking that no one vote for Kanye West. Jennifer Aniston said that she really and truly hopes that no one out there is dumb eno…
Man Couldn't Give A Fuck That Only One Person Is Following Him On Facebook
A man who joined the Facebook social media platform eight years ago, has said he "really couldn't care less", after it came to light that he has a grand total of only one person following him. The man, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, 57-ye…Houston Astros Super Star George Springer Says He Doesn’t Want To Be An Astro Anymore
HOUSTON â€" (Sports Satire) â€" According to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, Astros outfielder George Springer no longer wants to play for the Astros. Springer, who is now a free agent, spoke with SBIM’s Dottie Bazooka, and told her that there are…Biden Seen Leaving Tomb: Claims To Have Suburban Mummy Vote
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pollsters who predicted Sleepy Joe Biden would get the suburban mummy vote were vindicated by reports that heavily-bandaged mummies were seen standing in line to cast their vote for the man who looks like he has spent the past 3,00…Giant Fly enters Presidential Race
In an astounding moment of bravery, representatives for last-minute voting statistics have reported a late entry into the presidential race, with the signing of The Giant Fly to the roster of eligible candidates. Through an insect interpreter, Th…When Your Dog Goes To Rainbow Bridge
BILLINGSGATE POST: With the recent loss of my beloved little rescue dog, I am publishing a beautiful eulogy written by an unknown author. My heart is still heavy. I hope you understand: RAINBOW BRIDGE Just this side of heaven is a place calle…Biden administration forecasts long dark winter “everything in sight locked downâ€
It is no secret that with millions of ballots already cast, Mr. Biden is ahead in the upcoming November 3 presidential election. Accordingly, he has offered a far-ranging look into coming days with himself at the helm of the United States. Tra…The Los Angeles Dodgers, Just Like The Los Angeles Lakers Are World Champions
ARLINGTON, Texas â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The city of Los Angeles is brimming with pride, as, once again, and within a month, an L.A. team has captured the world championship. The Dodgers defeated The Tampa Bay Devil Rays 3-1 in game six, to take the W…Trump to leave the White House through the sewage system
Trailing in the polls, it looks increasingly likely that Donald Trump will lose the upcoming presidential election. With his fragile ego and narcissistic personality disorder, it is unlikely that Trump will be able to face the reality of losing so…Donald Trump To Be Defeated By ‘Sleepy Joe’
Donald Trump likes to give his opponents silly names, thinking it will make him appear superior. Immature? Yes, but that’s where he remains, and now it’s to be expected from The Bump. Feeling superior to Joe Biden, allegedly because he inherited 4…"If you build it they will come"
President Trump complained to reporters that he saw so many brown faces in Arizona that he thought he was in Mexico. "I say I'm building a wall, so here they come…faces half covered, ready to steal jobs from real Americans." When the current…