Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders In Cheering Glitch
In a mix-up of gargantuan proportions, the Washington Redskins overwhelmed their rivals, the Dallas Cowboys, consigning them to yet another embarrassing loss, but there was controversy all the way through the contest, with the Dallas cheerleading tea…Lonely old f*ck invited to Biden White House following Thanksgiving behavior modeling
This week Mr. Biden appealed to the country to keep Thanksgiving small, very small, in order “to snuff out the virus.†It is now understood he was also seeking “behavior models†on this matter, and this has led to discovery of a LOF ready, willing…Falkirk Man Hits Out At Bairns Drain…
A Falkirk man who was just walking down the street, suddenly hit out at a total stranger because his beloved home-town is full of idiots. "Every village has an idiot, but we are flooded with idiots from other villages just settling here because t…Washington Turns The Dallas Cowboys Into Turkeys
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" After most Dallas Cowboys fans had their Thanksgiving Turkey meal at home, they drove to Cowboy Stadium, where they saw lots and lots of turkeys dressed in white, gray, and blue Dallas uniforms. The Cowpokes just cannot…Nation Refuses to Pardon NBC for Complicity in Helping Trump Get Involved in Showbusiness
Washington - A growing chorus of political experts and observers in the United States are considering a class action suit against NBC, some television show producers and directors, and just about anyone else that had anything to do with Donald Trump…Biden to Give a Free Puppy to Every Illegal Immigrant
In a pledge to the American people that has shocked political observers, President-elect Joe Biden has committed to giving a free Labrador puppy to all illegal immigrants caught crossing into America through Mexico. “These poor people have been de…Diego Maradona In New 'Hand Of God' Incident
Diego Maradona, the Argentine footballing genius that almost-singlehandedly derailed England's World Cup dream in Mexico, in 1986, in a bizarre incident that became known as the 'Hand of God', has been involved in yet another incident springing from…Man Says Football Is No Longer Important To Him
A man who, in his younger days, followed football as enthusiastically as it was possible to do, has said that he has now lost all interest in the game, and, actually, couldn't give a fuck about it. Moys Kenwood, now 57, became a football fan on 23…President Trump is Putting His Mississippi Beach House on The Market
DELTA DAWN, Mississippi â€" (Satire News) â€" GOPicky magazine is reporting that the president has decided to sell his Mississippi beach house. He told writer Amos Soursuckle that, now that he will soon become John Q. Public, he is going to have to cu…Washington - After dozens of his lawsuits filed in various states seeking to overturn the election of Joe Biden failed, Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani will try a new approach with the courts in the battleground states as of Monday. Rudy and his team o…
Teacher Disputes Students' "Boring" Claim
There was a stunned silence in a local school classroom this afternoon, when, after one of the students had had the audacity to pronounce that his Science teacher was "boring", the teacher in question decided to prove just how 'unboring' he actually…Washington - After President Trump pardoned convicted felon Michael Flynn to kick off an expected wave of presidential pardons - mostly of people loyal to, or friends of, the defeated chief executive - over a million inmates have submitted letters,…
One of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Is Fired After She Admits She’s 7 Months Pregnant
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" In a move that will most probably have the ACLU involved, iNews is reporting that one of the veteran Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has been fired. Millicent Tumblewood, 26, who has been a Cowboys cheerleader for four years…Long John Silver’s Patrons Find Traces of Pepto Bismol in Their Fried Oysters
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Satire News) â€" The Kentucky Health Federation has filed a complaint against the Long John Silver Corporation. The KHF states that patrons in three different establishments have reported finding traces of Pepto Bismol in th…Evidence of election rigging has roiled New Zealand's "Bird of the Year" competition after a case of ballot-box stuffing has threatened to derail avian democracy. Suspicion began when organizers received more than 1,500 votes sent from the same em…
Donald Trump Is Calling It Quits
Donald J. Trump says he’s had enough abuse, and Donald J. is calling it quits. He is resigning: “The 2020 election was stolen from me, like a car-jack and Mike Pence can take over. He'll manage a superbly terrific job, living here in the White House…Wild Boars and Squirrels, in Boar War3 Battle, fight to the death over acorns!
(NOT EDITED) David Attenborough though he'd filmed it all, well he hasn't! A battle between David and Goliath took place in rural Germany as acorns fell from a huge oak tree at the bottom of Herr Schmitz's back garden in Bitburg! Families of wild…Watch Has Been Given New Lease Of Life
A wristwatch that had been laid redundant for more than eight months, after its battery ran out of power on the same day as Lockdown commenced, has seen 'active service' once again, after a new power cell was inserted into it earlier today. Moys K…Joseph Biden confesses what some suspected.
(NOT EDITED) President-Elect of the United States of America, Joseph Biden, has admitted to a close adviser that he is powered by a 1.5 watt battery. The adviser says that Biden has been wearing the power supply for about five years. With the role…President Trump is Excited About Implementing a Federal Traveling Firing Squad
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider has revealed that Melania Trump is extremely upset at her husband, because he wants to make a Presidential Executive Order that would allow the U.S. government to shoot prisoners, instead of pu…Joe Biden Agrees To Meet With Vladimir Putin
DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" Vox Populi says that President-Elect Joe Biden is wasting no time in trying to patch up the US-Russia differences, and has agreed to meet with Russia’s President Putin in February. The planned meeting will take pl…Miami Dolphins Quarterback Tua Tagovailoa Agrees To Change His Last Name
MIAMI â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Miami Dolphins Head Coach Brian Flores says he is thrilled that his quarterback, Tua Tagovailoa, has finally agreed to change his hard-to-pronounce and hard-to-spell last name. The coach pointed out that Tua's Samoan surn…A Peeping Tom Dressed As Spiderman Comes Real Close To Getting Shot
MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) â€" Manchester police are reporting that Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Ticklewine were having a bit of a sexual encounter, when they heard a strange pecking sound outside their third-floor apartment window. Since the couple…Donald Trump Offered New Book Deal, Once He Achieves Full Literacy
He might be toast as far as a second presidential term in the White House goes, but Donald Trump was already planning out his life post-President this morning, as he revealed details of a lucrative offer to write a book detailing his time as US leade…Boy Disciplined For Bringing His 102-Year-Old Grandmother To “Show & Tellâ€
HACKENSACK, New Jersey â€" (Satire News) â€" The principal of Mrs. Millard Fillmore Elementary School reported that she had to discipline a second-grader who brought his grandmother to “Show & Tellâ€. The boy’s teacher, Marlena Figweather, said tha…Barack Obama To Promote "How!" As A Greeting
In what's been called 'an olive branch to Native Americans' whose ancestors were slaughtered by the influx of European pioneers looking for new lives on the continent in the 1800s, ex-President Barack Obama is to promote the Indian "How!" greeting us…Barack Obama To Pursue New Career As R&B Singer
In a complete reversal of the current trend which has seen stars of the entertainment world enter politics - with varying degrees of success - the former US president, Barack Obama has announced that he is changing his life's path, and is embarking u…Biden Appoints Field Marshall Cinque Mtume As Defense Secretary
BILLINGSGATE POST: President-elect Joe Biden has named Field Marshall Cinque Mtume as his choice for Defense Secretary. Mtume won his stripes by leading the Symbionese Liberation Army in the kidnapping of Patricia Hearst back in 1974. In the no…A Near-Nude Jennifer Lopez Steals the American Music Awards Show
LOS ANGELES â€" (Celebrity Satire) â€" This year's "AMA Show" was broadcast live from the Microsoft Ctrl-Alt-Delete Theater in downtown Hollywood. It was hosted by Taraji P. Henson, co-inventor of the Jim Henson Muppets. Most entertainment media pu…President Trump's Brain Distances Itself From His Mouth
As his party, his family, friends, supporters and closest aides continue to fall away from President Trump in the aftermath of his presidential election defeat, it was the turn, today, of the moron's brain, which decided to distance itself from his b…