Surprise, Surprise, Donald Trump Didn’t Win
Donald Trump planned that his hand-picked Supreme Court would throw out all the mail-in ballots. But guess what happened? Mail-in ballots were not thrown out; they were received, counted, and accurately gave the majority votes to the Biden-Harris…People Disgusted With Woman Who Put Bananas On Her Head
A woman who put a large quantity of bananas on her head and started to walk around the streets with them, has come in for criticism from other members of the public, who said that her behavior was "unnecessary" and "unbecoming". The incident happe…Speaking Clock To Make Welcome Return
News has just reached us that, according to official timekeepers at the office of the Department of Time, in Greenwich, London, the Speaking Clock will make its much-awaited return to service in January. And the time is just gone twenty to five.DeBlasio daughter rushed to therapy following episode of tongue disorder
Mayor of New York, Bill DeBlasio, reports his daughter is recovering nicely and will be released soon. His daughter, Chiara DeBlasio, 25, showed signs of a second indication of perfide rei publicae lingua (rogue political tongue) in Democratic Cir…Trump suddenly appears in public. Biden is not worried.
President of the United States, Donald J Trump, has made his first public appearance in five days, to attend the Memorial Day remembrance service. Observers say he looked relaxed and at ease, as he laid a wreath at the memorial plinth and then pl…Elvis Spotted At a Sex Toy Shop in Iowa
CORN HOLE, Iowa - (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News is reporting that two different individuals have claimed that they saw 'the king', Elvis Presley, in a sexy toy shop in the small town of Corn Hole. The two individuals identified as cousins Mingy M…SAN ANTONIO â€" (Satire News) â€" Aviary professors at San Antonio’s Solid State College have pointed out that the egret is the laziest bird in the entire world. Dr. Galahad P. Pio stated that a group of aviary scientists have noted that the egrets ar…
Fridays - Are They Really That Great?
At the end of a long, hard, not to mention exhausting, week at work, it's good to reach Friday, knowing that a weekend full of relaxation with our family is waiting for us at home. One man, however, doesn't see things quite like that. Myke Wood…Aged Spoof Writer to Take Kamala's Senate Seat?
Covina, CA. Special to The Spoof. In a surprising move, California governor Gavin Newsom is considering appointing one of The Spoof's major contributors to replace Kamala Harris as that state's junior senator. This, despite press reports that a Latin…A man who had been experiencing severe financial difficulties before he eventually returned to work six weeks ago, has continued to exercise the spending constraints he imposed during the lockdown, claiming it is good practice for the future. Moys…
President Trump Hates Fox News and Vows To Destroy It With His Own News Network
QUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) â€" The President held another of his post-election campaign rallies. This one was in the Keystone state town of Quaker Oats. The town, founded in 1616, is noted for growing the tastiest oats in the world. I…LANCASTER, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) â€" ABC News and CNN have both recently reported that the pretzel business is booming. Sales of the salt-covered pastry have already surpassed the national sales of Fried Spinach, Emu-Meat Hot Dogs, and Enchil…
Armenia And Azerbaijan Settle Their Differences
There was good news from Europe tonight, after it was announced that two countries that have been disputing the 'ownership' of land for 32 years, Armenia and Azerbaijan, have, at last, managed to resolve their differences and put an end to the confli…Banana Republic in South America sues the US for nicking their system!
(NOT EDITED) A tiny nation in South America, run by banana cartels, has gone to the International Court of Justice in The Hague, demanding the US pay them five billion $ Bucks, or they will sue both candidates for plagiarism! Banana Republics in A…Little Lad Was Driving Mechanical Digger
We've all been shocked, at sometime in our lives, to see a motorbike flying past us with a clearly-underaged rider in the saddle, but such an experience would have paled into insignificance at the weekend, when a man saw a mechanical digger roll past…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" According to the Washington Globe Express, President Trump told the director of the Walter Reed Hospital that he wanted all of his doctors and nurses to be Republicans. He made it clear that he did not want any…
Trump claims Biden is half-Ugandan
In an astonishing statement from the White House, Donald Trump has claimed Joe Biden is ineligible to become President because he is half-Ugandan. "I have reliable information, 100 % true, that he was not born in Scranton Pennsylvania, but in Kampala…The 2020 US Masters is over even before Tiger (as the 2019 champion) could even launch his opening drive to inaugurate the tournament. And yet we have a winner! Taking time off from threatening the Supreme Court to Stop Counting the illegal votes…
Man Shocked At Size Of Kazakhstan
A Geography teacher in a local school has revealed how absolutely flabbergasted he was yesterday afternoon, when he went to look at a map of the world on a classroom wall, and noticed, for the very first time, just how large Kazahkstan is. Moys Ke…Food Critics Give McDonald’s Brand New McNachos a "3 Bravos" Rating
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" The world’s number one fast food restaurant chain is always striving to keep one step ahead of the competition. The 26th floor of the McDonald’s headquarters building houses the lettuce department, as well as the departme…Biden wants White House by Thanksgiving “to get on with it prontoâ€
Despite at least half a dozen states in dispute as to a reliable vote count, plus the onset of legal challenges, Mr. Biden is eager to move on. He has already been talking with foreign leaders (violation of the Logan Act), which put Trump and his…Kate Gosselin Reveals She Has a Big Crush on Dancing With The Stars Dancer Gleb Savchenko
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) â€" Kate Gosselin, who is regarded by many as the queen of the reality shows, has just told Boom Boom News, that she has a tremendous crush on Dancing With The Stars pro dancer Gleb Savchenko. The 45-year-old…SAN ANTONIO â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Spurs coach Gregg Popovich has just announced that his former star player and assistant coach, Tim Duncan, has just resigned. Popovich, who was polecat hunting in Muckalica, Serbia, was shocked to hear that Tim had…
Trump Nosed Out By “Hair Sniffing Prevertâ€
BILLINGSGATE POST: What a way to lose an election - being nosed out by a hair-sniffing prevert. White House insiders, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the President is having a difficult time adjusting to losing his White House digs to a…Man Was So Exhausted, He Couldn't Even Be Bothered To Look Up At The Clock
A man has revealed how he was so utterly exhausted by a morning at work, that he couldn't even be bothered to raise his head to look at a clock, in order to see what time it was. Moys Kenwood, 57, labored away at trying to impart some simple scie…Man Didn't Know Whether To Read, Or Listen To Music
There was major indecision on a large scale yesterday, when a man who was left with some free time on his hands couldn't, for the life of him, decide whether to spend the time reading a book, or listening to music. The opportunity for a couple of…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News reports that the United States Attorney General needs to be reminded that he works for the people of the United States. He is not the personal, suck-ass attorney of the jerk who legally lost the el…
Loser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway
Loser, a play about Donald Trump, is coming soon to Broadway. Writers are working day and night, hoping to have it ready for its Broadway opening on inauguration day, January 20. As a homage to the highly successful play Hamilton, all dialogue i…UK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'
(NOT EDITED) Many Brit entrepreneurs are gearing up for the latest phase in EU-UK trade talks just in case BOJO cannot remove his head out of his rear-end in time, and allows the UK to crash out without a trade deal. One clever entrepreneur, who d…