Guy Who Said Philadelphia Was a Horrible Place Can't Believe That He's Not Winning the Vote There
Philadelphia, PA - President Donald Trump complained loudly, on Friday, that the voting in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and its two largest cities was going against him, and that there simply had to be fraud involved.. Trump has repeatedly bel…US Presidential Election Result To Be In By Christmas
As the counting of votes continues in the 2020 US presidential election, and the reputation of the process slides further and further into the mud, there was good news this afternoon, when it was announced that ALL results will definitely be in and c…American media broken by apparent Biden victory
Massive layoffs are expected at CNN, MSNBC, Saturday Night Live and across the alphabet networks, as the realization sets in that without the manufactured scandals surrounding the four years of Donald Trump, the 24-hour propaganda platforms will have…Republicans desperately search for scientists to back "Alternate Counting Theory"
Republicans have very recently started discussing a new scientific theory that they feel would more accurately reflect the views of their constituents. During a meeting to discuss the ramifications of election results, a contingent of Republican Sen…Washington orchestra plays dirge to Trump on world’s smallest violins
As the Donald ranted and raved about fraud, and demanded that votes against him be discounted and votes for him should be doubled or even tripled, and a baffled American media attempted to rationalize his comments, the Washington DC orchestra hastily…Man Knew He Had A Big Shit Brewing, So Waited Until He Got To Work
The rumbling of one's back passage, culminating in a succession of loud, stinking farts, are often the sign that a large bowel movement is on its way, and when one man experienced the above, this morning, he decided to wait until he got to work to 'o…Man Is Uninterested In Presidential Election Result
A man who has no interest in, or understanding of, politics has revealed how uninterested he is in the outcome of the 2020 US presidential election being so closely contended by President Trump and his bitter rival, Sir Jose Biden. Moys Kenwood, 5…Taylor Swift Is Thrilled That Joe Biden Kicked President Donald Trump’s Fat Butt
BEVERLY HILLS â€" (Satire News) â€" iRumors says that there is perhaps no one in the USA happier that the President lost the election than Taylor Swift. iRumors then added, "except maybe for Robert Di Niro, Kathy Griffin, LeBron James, Jimmy Kimmel, G…Justin Bieber Says He’s Seen The Light as He Announces He Will Be Recording a Gospel Album
MEMPHIS â€" (Satire News) â€" Justin Bieber recently admitted to Cowbell Notes Music Magazine that he has had more ups and downs in his short life than a pogo stick. The Canadian-born singer, who has had his problems with alcohol, cocaine, marijuana,…Kanye West The Hip-Hop Artist Who Ran For President, Finally Concedes The Presidential Election
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" After waiting 48 hours, the music entertainer known by millions as West the Pest, has just announced in a Walmart parking lot, in Chicago, that he is conceding defeat in the presidential election. West, aka Mr. Kim Kardas…LAS VEGAS â€" (Sports Satire) - Sin City sports bookies all agree that the Cowboys, who are 2-5, have about as much of a chance of defeating the 7-0 Pittsburgh Steelers as a duck has of winning the Kentucky Derby. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was asked…
Plastic Visor Is Impeding Man's Vision
The Coronavirus has changed our perspective on life a great deal, what with having to take all kinds of precautions to limit its spread, but one man has complained that a plastic visor he has been asked to wear at work, is preventing him from being a…A Little 7-Year-Old Girl In Peru Has a Collection of over 9,000 Tom Brady Football Trading Cards
LLAMAVILLE, Peru â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Little Fabiola Pampana is only seven years old, but she has what is believed to be the largest collection of Tom Brady football trading cards in the world, numbering over 9,000. Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Ball…Losing The Election, Trump Screams “Stop The Vote Count!â€
Losing the election, Trump is screaming, “Stop the vote count!†Who could have guessed? Guessed what? That Donald Trump would protest the vote count when he sees he is losing. Trump is sending his supporters, who don’t appear to have stead…Trump Jr Calls for "Total War" Over Rigged Election
Trump Election HQ, Washington, DC - A SOURful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof On Unverified Rumors. Donald Trump Jr, echoing his father's fear that the presidential election had been rigged, tweeted, late today, that his father should "go to total…Late sweep by US Postal Service credited with Mondale 2020 victory
The intensive late push by the US Postal Service to leave "no stone unturned" in their search for mail-in ballots is considered responsible for the surprise Walter Mondale victory in the 2020 American Presidential election. The effort by mail sort…Sleepy Joe Biden Celebrates Election Victory With A Snooze
It might not have been the most ecstatic way to have celebrated a presidential election victory, but Joe Biden knows what he likes, and the new US president took it all in his stride, waved away delirious Democrat party revellers, and settled down in…Russian Hookers Hope To Pee On Sleepy Joe’s Bed
BILLINGSGATE POST: As part of the transition between administrations, if Biden should win the presidency, Irma and Irina (last names redacted), a Russian hooker tag team, hope to be invited to pee on Sleepy Joe Biden’s bed; a tradition that started…Trump sues Democrat voters for not voting for him
The state of Pennsylvania, home of the Amish and birthplace of the pencil, was in the news today as it proved to be a crucial battleground in the US election. President Trump was ahead in early voting, but as early ballots and mail-in votes came in -…Snakes and Ladders has mega-revival in US
The depiction of serpents slithering up and down ladders if one throws a dice correctly, or incorrectly, has taken on a new meaning in 2020. Many US citizens seeking psychological help in these very distressing times - lockdowns, masks, presidenti…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" According to the Vox Populi News Agency, Trump says that every vote that was cast in California and New York state will be nullified. He stated that he has personally investigated the situation, and found that vo…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida â€" (Satire News) â€" The iRumors News Agency has found out that 2.9 million of the votes cast for Trump in the Plywood State were cast by Cubans, who are living in the United States illegally. The agency stated that most of the i…
Woman Appeared To Be Doing Something Very Disgusting
A quite innocent picture of a woman playing a recorder has been described as "suggestive" by a man who clearly has a mind like a sewer. The picture, contained in the image library of satirical news website TheSpoof.com, was noticed by one of the s…Hope Hicks Says The President Has Texted Her 291 Times Since The Election Polls Closed on Tuesday
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider, who is very close to Trump’s chief adviser, and reputed inamorata, Hope Hicks, claims that Hicks said that the president is extremely depressed and may end up hurting himself. Hicks reveale…In an incredible turnaround in fortunes in the 2020 race to the White House, it's just been announced in the last few minutes, that against all prior expectations, and in contrast to all of the expert opinions expressed by political pundits, Presiden…
Living in natural surroundings can sometimes be a place with hazardous slip-ups. Treading in cow's poo, running over farm cats, a house filled with unwanted lodgers called spiders, trees dropping their glorious autumn leaves, among many other disadva…
Judgemental Old Men in Red Hats
As winter is extending its dread grasp through the year, it is time to think of two old judgemental men in red hats. That's right, Donald Trump and Santa Claus. One is very rich, due to the fact that his father was a very rich man, the other goes…Dave Argue is a drummer in a local jazz band who enjoys punching out the beat in a big way. However, Dave is a little different from other drummers: he doesn't use drumsticks. He uses a number 5 spanner. He explained that the sound he gets from us…
Toronto Raptors upset at low election turnout by area fans
Members of the Toronto Raptors, Canada's only team in the National Basketball Association, were despairing at the exceptionally low voter turnout by local fans in Tuesday's US Presidential election, despite significant efforts to engage with fans of…Election Latest! Election Latest!
The present mayor of Timbuktu, a desert village sunk in Saharan sands, who brutally rules over 5 mud huts, a pub with no beer, and a hotel with no rooms, has lost the local election. Results were impeded by a plague of locusts devouring the ballot…