Man Shocked At Size Of Kazakhstan
A Geography teacher in a local school has revealed how absolutely flabbergasted he was yesterday afternoon, when he went to look at a map of the world on a classroom wall, and noticed, for the very first time, just how large Kazahkstan is. Moys Ke…Man Was So Exhausted, He Couldn't Even Be Bothered To Look Up At The Clock
A man has revealed how he was so utterly exhausted by a morning at work, that he couldn't even be bothered to raise his head to look at a clock, in order to see what time it was. Moys Kenwood, 57, labored away at trying to impart some simple scie…Man Didn't Know Whether To Read, Or Listen To Music
There was major indecision on a large scale yesterday, when a man who was left with some free time on his hands couldn't, for the life of him, decide whether to spend the time reading a book, or listening to music. The opportunity for a couple of…Loser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway
Loser, a play about Donald Trump, is coming soon to Broadway. Writers are working day and night, hoping to have it ready for its Broadway opening on inauguration day, January 20. As a homage to the highly successful play Hamilton, all dialogue i…Trump Nosed Out By “Hair Sniffing Prevertâ€
BILLINGSGATE POST: What a way to lose an election - being nosed out by a hair-sniffing prevert. White House insiders, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the President is having a difficult time adjusting to losing his White House digs to a…Trump claims Biden is half-Ugandan
In an astonishing statement from the White House, Donald Trump has claimed Joe Biden is ineligible to become President because he is half-Ugandan. "I have reliable information, 100 % true, that he was not born in Scranton Pennsylvania, but in Kampala…Biden wants White House by Thanksgiving “to get on with it prontoâ€
Despite at least half a dozen states in dispute as to a reliable vote count, plus the onset of legal challenges, Mr. Biden is eager to move on. He has already been talking with foreign leaders (violation of the Logan Act), which put Trump and his…UK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'
(NOT EDITED) Many Brit entrepreneurs are gearing up for the latest phase in EU-UK trade talks just in case BOJO cannot remove his head out of his rear-end in time, and allows the UK to crash out without a trade deal. One clever entrepreneur, who d…New virus measures underway re protections from going loony
Led by the US, global administrators are reaching new heights of vaccine development. Nevertheless, public skepticism has been growing as the pandemic continues, although establishment politicians and media consider this resistance “entirely unrea…Man Is Becoming Irrational Thinking About The New Lockdown
The long-term.effects of an extended lockdown were widely speculated upon in March, before it actually took place, but nothing had prepared people for what eventually came to pass. Spending more time with one's family is usually something worth ce…The 2020 US Masters is over even before Tiger (as the 2019 champion) could even launch his opening drive to inaugurate the tournament. And yet we have a winner! Taking time off from threatening the Supreme Court to Stop Counting the illegal votes…
Man Says His Children Are Already Technophiles
A staunch technophobe, who hasn't moved with the times, has claimed that his two young children are both technophiles, and that their knowledge and confidence when using machines is so far in advance of his own, that they have labeled him a technodip…Disease Control Experts Have Just Named The White House as The Most Dangerous Place on Earth
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island â€" (Satire News) â€" Scientists at Pawtucket’s Paul Revere University have just learned that the most dangerous place on Earth is the White House. The collegiate group noted that, just in the past three months, a total of 129…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News reports that the United States Attorney General needs to be reminded that he works for the people of the United States. He is not the personal, suck-ass attorney of the jerk who legally lost the el…
Bed Bath and Beyond To Become Bed Bath and Beyonce
BEL AIR, California â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the nation’s most popular singers, Beyonce, is thrilled to announce that she and her husband, Jay-Z, have just purchased the national merchandise retail store, Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The company, which…An Emotional Support Parrot Disrupts a Flight From New York City to Los Angeles
LOS ANGELES â€" (Satire News) â€" The news media is reporting that an emotional support parrot totally disrupted a Jet Blue flight from New York City to Los Angeles. The Peruvian parrot, named Guinevere, but who has been dubbed "Polly the Insult Parro…A Polar Bear From The North Pole Amazingly Swims Ashore in Puerto Rico
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico â€" (Satire News) â€" Telemundo has stated that beach-goers recently saw a full-grown polar bear swim ashore at San Juan’s Mucho Rum Beach. Witnesses said that the bear looked extremely tired, and animal experts said it must have…US Satire writers commit mass suicide because there's nothing more for them to spoof about!
(NOT EDITED) Internet spoof/satire sites are dropping like flies smelling poo on the ground, and getting their feet stuck in it! Global satire writers are hitting empty walls with impunity after their greatest subject has been blown into oblivion, a…Getting Trump Out Of The White House
A contest is being held listing ways to remove Donald Trump from the White House. The election loss has not been accepted by the current resident, who insists (with absolutely no proof) that the election was stolen from him by Joe Biden. Sleepy J…Charleston, South Carolina - South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, celebrating his resounding election victory after Trump-loving voters in his home state overwhelmingly returned him to office, urged President Trump to fight the election results in…
Joe Biden To Donald Trump: "You're Fired!"
If there was ever any doubt about what the post-election relationship between President-elect Joe Biden and the outgoing president, Donald Trump, was likely to be, the uncertainty was removed earlier today, when Mr. Biden looked straight down the TV…(NOT EDITED) LONDON â€" (Satire News) â€" London’s Tickety Boo News Agency is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, is as happy as a teenage girl on Soho’s Carnaby Street, with two of her dad’s credit cards. When the queen learned that President Trump ha…
Imagine being kicked out of the White House by 75,196,576 people. Now that is one serious eviction notice! Start your packing! What? No way! So Trump’s taking his rent-free, four-year renewal option to the U.S. Supreme Court. Somebody tell th…
Voter Fraud: “Project Quasimodo†Used To Bamboozle Voting Count
BILLINGSGATE POST: Detrick “Dirty Trick†Detwiler, an undercover agent hired by Trump attorney, Rudy Giuliani, to investigate voter fraud in Philadelphia, revealed that he had broken the code of an underground voter clearance site, nicknamed “Projec…Leaf Fell From Tree, But Nobody Heard It
The peaceful quiet of a crisp autumn afternoon in a local park was shattered today, when a leaf fell from an oak tree, but nobody heard it. No human body, that is. Several creatures living nearby heard it. Residents in an ants nest in the gr…HOLLYWOOD â€" (Celebrity Satire) â€" Reports coming out of Tinsel Town are brimming with news that "Dancing With The Stars" purposely eliminated one of its more popular dance couples because of an alleged affair the two are engaged in. Executives with…
Trump's Election Defeat Was Inevitable, Claims Political Ignoramus
As the dust settled on yet another exciting instalment in US political history, a man who knows absolutely nothing whatsoever about the subject has said that Joe Biden's victory and Donald Trump's defeat in the presidential election were "inevitable"…Warren Puffitt: Vaccine News, Deliberately Delayed, Cost Trump Victory
Omaha, Nebraska. That S.O.B. reporter Woof Blister, for Spoof On Business. That other financial wizard from Omaha, Warren Puffitt, told this reporter today, in a virulent denunciation of big pharma, that a conspiracy between Democrats and the pharmac…Police Issue Arrest Warrant For Evil Man
Police in Washington, DC have announced that they are keen to interview an individual in connection with tax evasion, fraud, sexual assault, hate crimes, racist behavior, kidnapping and imprisoning children, and other offences likely to bring the goo…The San Francisco City Council Votes To Have The Golden State Warriors Revert To Their Original Name
SAN FRANCISCO â€" (Sports Satire) - After a vote of 12-1, the San Francisco city council has voted for the NBA Golden State Warriors to change their name back to their original name, The San Francisco Warriors. The team originally changed its name…