Bike Shop Owner Was A Miserable Bastard
There were vociferous complaints and calls for a total boycott tonight, after a woman who had gone into a shop selling secondhand bicycles to ask for directions, was treated like muck by the owner, who was a right fucking turd. The incident happen…Harry Maguire Says Premier League Wide Open This Year
Manchester United and England defender Harry Maguire has said that, despite his team's 'ordinary' start to the campaign, the Premier League is wide open this season, and practically anybody could end up being champions - except for Sheffield United,…(NOT EDITED) Millions of UK shoppers jamming pedestrian shopping centres in the UK in Corona pandemic times are being asked why the fuck they are ignoring common sense regulations about social-distancing. Many Christmas shopping nutters just head…
British sprout-growers are bullish at the prospect of a no-deal Brexit. “As they’ll be able to get little else in the way of vegetables, what with tariffs and customs hold-ups at the ports, we’re going to be in the money,†said Terry Bull-Greenbu…
Washington - White House advisor, Steven Miller, after announcing that alternative elector slates were submitted from four battleground states to Congress, which he hoped would result in overturning the election of Joe Biden as President, and four…
COVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies
The rapid roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine has continued these last few days, with millions of people anxious to protect themselves before it is too late, but analysts in London are saying there appears to be a worrying side-effect to the drug.Trump literally a turd that will not flush
It has been five weeks since the US election, and there is no doubt that Joe Biden won - unless you live in the deranged world of Donald Trump's pathetic ego. Geoff Ballcock studies presidential pipes, and spoke exclusively to TheSpoof with his an…The Reason NASCAR Cancelled 2 Races
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Ever since March, when the Coronavirus first got out of hand, NASCAR’s attendance has fallen by 61%. And then the fact that the racing entity banned Confederate flags really kicked the racing giant in it…Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Scores Touchdown
Everything comes to those who wait, and, for those patient Dallas Cowboys fans, their long wait certainly paid off yesterday with a 30-7 win against the Cincinnati Bengals, a win made even more satisfying after one of their cheerleaders scored one of…Anal Butt Boxcar- The Hidden Deadly Trend
If you hear kids talking about ABB, they probably aren’t talking about the latest rap song or internet meme. ABB is slang for a deadly new pastime. Anal-Butt-Boxcar or ABB is the latest fashion. It all started in Eastern Europe, which might as we…The Cleveland Indians Racist Name is Going To That Happy Hunting Ground in The Sky
CLEVELAND â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Cleveland Indians organization is finally bowing to the demand from Major League Baseball, that they do away with their racist nickname. The BuzzFuzz News Agency is reporting that the ball club has used the name I…Trump Tells Attorney General William Barr Adios Chubby
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News)- In a move that stunned even Trump sidekick, Lindsey Graham, the soon-to-be-not-president has fired his attorney general. GOPickly magazine is reporting that William Barr, (aka Chubby), who, for months and months,…Trump Thinks He Has A Chance To Overturn The Election
Unable to recognize the numbers and entrenched in deniability, Donald Trump still thinks it ain’t over, and that he has a chance to win the 2020 election. Gosh, what will the neighbors think? When the furniture is out on the lawn, and his clothes…Man In TV Debate Started Everything He Said With "So"
A spoken-word poet who was involved in a TV debate on the very sensitive topic of 'slavery' started every single comment he made by using the word 'So', much to one viewer's annoyance. George Mpanga, a poet from London, was one half of the debatee…Lil Wayne May Be Headed To The Big House
NEW ORLEANS â€" (Satire News) â€" According to BuzzFuzz, rapper Lil Wayne could very well be headed to prison, or the ‘Big House’ as rappers, hip-hoppers, and Broadway dancers refer to federal prisons. The lil rapper, who is 4-foot-9, and looks a litt…'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!
(NOT EDITED) Delicious, healthy sauerkraut that rumbles up tummies, causes high-level flatulence, but has many properties which keep people healthy, has come under fire in Germany. Real 'Sour-Krauts' feel they are being discriminated against every…Trump appoints 18 Warped Republicans to SCOTUS in Operation Speed.
The U.S. Supreme Court suddenly found itself enhanced by 18 Republicans who surrendered their governorships for immediate appointment to the Supreme Court as justices. While America slept, Trump tweeted his new Executive Order: ‘In all 18 Red stat…Like A Slowly Collapsing Souffle, Trump Says Election Not Over
Poof, like a slowly collapsing souffle, Donald Trump insists that the election isn’t over. But it’s over. Done. Finished. The fat lady sang. Joe Biden won. Pack your bags. Time to go back home. It isn’t like the grim reaper, but it is. Using capit…Woman Surprised Her Husband With Sandwich Contents
It's always nice to treated to a surprise, particularly with something of a culinary nature, and that's exactly what happened to one man this weekend, when, after sweeping out the yard, then scrubbing his eyeballs out doing the family's laundry, his…Republican Senators To Admit: Hey, Trump Lost
It is believed that, after the Electoral College certifies that Joseph Biden won the 2020 election and is the new President of the United States, further establishing that Donald Trump lost the November 3rd election, Republican senators will have a…Supermarket Customer Challenged About Face Mask
A female supervisor working in a supermarket who challenged a male customer over his non-wearing of a face mask, was left wishing she hadn't bothered this morning, when the customer reacted somewhat angrily by scowling and storming out, telling her h…Doctors prescribe watching Manchester United instead of sleeping tablets!! ZZZZZZZZZ!
(NOT EDITED) Sleeping tablets can be addictive, cause liver damage, and by overdoses, death! Doctors worried about the abuse of sleeping tablets usage have been studying other methods of getting people to sleep, and out of their insomniac misery.Satan Buys Pardon from Trump for $8bn
In a ‘not very surprising’ move, it was revealed today that outgoing president and all-round shithouse, Donald Trump has agreed to issue the devil with a presidential pardon. The full and complete pardon will be rushed through ahead of Trump’s presi…The United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, has announced that Russia will not receive any Coronavirus vaccines when they become available. He stated that the UN’s 193 sovereign country members ha…Nicki Minaj Promises Her Christmas Album Does Not Contain Any “N’ Words
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the most popular rappers in America has just assured the entertainment media that her just-released Christmas album contains no "N" words whatsoever. Minaj spoke with Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo,…The Dallas Cowboys Finally Win
CINCINNATI â€" (Sports Satire) â€" After being in a stupor for weeks and weeks, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally managed to do something he had literally forgotten how to do â€" he smiled. The 78-year-old Jones told Dakota Bazooka, with Sports Balls Il…Woman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise
Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally…Harry Maguire Blames Monkey Woods For Scoreless Draw
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a rare display of emotion, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, blamed his most ardent fan, Monkey Woods, for the spiritless ambiance that permeated Old Trafford yesterday, as Manchester United and Manchester City drew 0-0…Donald Trump Says He'd Like To Lead 2021 Ryder Cup Team
Ousted ex-president and keen golfer, Donald Trump, has revealed that he is "very interested" in captaining the 2021 US Ryder Cup team at the rescheduled event at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin. Irishman Padraig Harrington will captain the…It's been reported that a key that was left on a table later disappeared, and could not be located, despite a thorough search. The key, which was a motorbike key, was left on the table on Thursday evening at around 5 pm by Sue-tee, 14, after she h…