COVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies
The rapid roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine has continued these last few days, with millions of people anxious to protect themselves before it is too late, but analysts in London are saying there appears to be a worrying side-effect to the drug.Man In TV Debate Started Everything He Said With "So"
A spoken-word poet who was involved in a TV debate on the very sensitive topic of 'slavery' started every single comment he made by using the word 'So', much to one viewer's annoyance. George Mpanga, a poet from London, was one half of the debatee…Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Scores Touchdown
Everything comes to those who wait, and, for those patient Dallas Cowboys fans, their long wait certainly paid off yesterday with a 30-7 win against the Cincinnati Bengals, a win made even more satisfying after one of their cheerleaders scored one of…Anal Butt Boxcar- The Hidden Deadly Trend
If you hear kids talking about ABB, they probably aren’t talking about the latest rap song or internet meme. ABB is slang for a deadly new pastime. Anal-Butt-Boxcar or ABB is the latest fashion. It all started in Eastern Europe, which might as we…'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!
(NOT EDITED) Delicious, healthy sauerkraut that rumbles up tummies, causes high-level flatulence, but has many properties which keep people healthy, has come under fire in Germany. Real 'Sour-Krauts' feel they are being discriminated against every…Trump appoints 18 Warped Republicans to SCOTUS in Operation Speed.
The U.S. Supreme Court suddenly found itself enhanced by 18 Republicans who surrendered their governorships for immediate appointment to the Supreme Court as justices. While America slept, Trump tweeted his new Executive Order: ‘In all 18 Red stat…Republican Senators To Admit: Hey, Trump Lost
It is believed that, after the Electoral College certifies that Joseph Biden won the 2020 election and is the new President of the United States, further establishing that Donald Trump lost the November 3rd election, Republican senators will have a…Like A Slowly Collapsing Souffle, Trump Says Election Not Over
Poof, like a slowly collapsing souffle, Donald Trump insists that the election isn’t over. But it’s over. Done. Finished. The fat lady sang. Joe Biden won. Pack your bags. Time to go back home. It isn’t like the grim reaper, but it is. Using capit…Woman Surprised Her Husband With Sandwich Contents
It's always nice to treated to a surprise, particularly with something of a culinary nature, and that's exactly what happened to one man this weekend, when, after sweeping out the yard, then scrubbing his eyeballs out doing the family's laundry, his…Nicki Minaj Promises Her Christmas Album Does Not Contain Any “N’ Words
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the most popular rappers in America has just assured the entertainment media that her just-released Christmas album contains no "N" words whatsoever. Minaj spoke with Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo,…Satan Buys Pardon from Trump for $8bn
In a ‘not very surprising’ move, it was revealed today that outgoing president and all-round shithouse, Donald Trump has agreed to issue the devil with a presidential pardon. The full and complete pardon will be rushed through ahead of Trump’s presi…Supermarket Customer Challenged About Face Mask
A female supervisor working in a supermarket who challenged a male customer over his non-wearing of a face mask, was left wishing she hadn't bothered this morning, when the customer reacted somewhat angrily by scowling and storming out, telling her h…The Dallas Cowboys Finally Win
CINCINNATI â€" (Sports Satire) â€" After being in a stupor for weeks and weeks, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally managed to do something he had literally forgotten how to do â€" he smiled. The 78-year-old Jones told Dakota Bazooka, with Sports Balls Il…Woman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise
Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally…Doctors prescribe watching Manchester United instead of sleeping tablets!! ZZZZZZZZZ!
(NOT EDITED) Sleeping tablets can be addictive, cause liver damage, and by overdoses, death! Doctors worried about the abuse of sleeping tablets usage have been studying other methods of getting people to sleep, and out of their insomniac misery.Harry Maguire Blames Monkey Woods For Scoreless Draw
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a rare display of emotion, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, blamed his most ardent fan, Monkey Woods, for the spiritless ambiance that permeated Old Trafford yesterday, as Manchester United and Manchester City drew 0-0…The United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, has announced that Russia will not receive any Coronavirus vaccines when they become available. He stated that the UN’s 193 sovereign country members ha…It's been reported that a key that was left on a table later disappeared, and could not be located, despite a thorough search. The key, which was a motorbike key, was left on the table on Thursday evening at around 5 pm by Sue-tee, 14, after she h…
Man Is Looking Forward To January 20
This year, 2020, hasn't been especially good for many people, particularly those who succumbed to the Coronavirus, COVID-19, and it's fair to say that most people will be glad to see the back of it, and to usher in a - hopefully - better new year on…Donald Trump Says He'd Like To Lead 2021 Ryder Cup Team
Ousted ex-president and keen golfer, Donald Trump, has revealed that he is "very interested" in captaining the 2021 US Ryder Cup team at the rescheduled event at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin. Irishman Padraig Harrington will captain the…The Minnesota Vikings Will Give Each Player A COVID-19 Incentive Bonus
MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Minnesota Vikings owner, Zygmunt Wilf, no relation to porn star Lucretia Wilf, says he's really upset that his team has so many players that have come down with the Coronavirus. Wilf pointed out that…Coors To Use Drones To Deliver Beer
GOLDEN, Colorado â€" (Satire News) â€" The board of directors of the Coors Brewing Company has hit on an idea to improve on their delivery service. Board of Directors Chairman Yusif Tayrus pointed out that the test program will involve delivering up t…US Election to Finally be Deciided in the Ring
The job of most powerful crook in the world will no longer be held in doubt. The contest is to be decided by a WWE smackdown or "Presidential Grudge Match", as it is currently being advertised. Tickets for the fight are selling fast, and the UN is…Georgia Independent Man Conflicted Over US Senate Runoff Elections
Independent Georgia man, Danny Unfettered, admitted that he is completely conflicted over which candidates he will vote for in January’s US senate run-off elections. He has found himself at the crossroads of trying to figure out which senate party h…Sarah Ferguson To Remarry Prince Andrew
LONDON â€" (Satire News) â€" Tickety Boo News is reporting that the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, and the Duke of York, Prince Andrew, are planning on remarrying. Neville Twickenbuck, with Tickety Boo, reports that an ex-Buckingham Palace guard tol…"Time Out for USC, We Have to Pay the Referee"
The Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA. Friday night, Dec. 12, 2020. An SOS From Woof Blister for Spoof On Sports. Never was the parody of the Trojan fight song, "Fight On", more appropriate than on this night, as the USC eleven came back in the final minu…(NOT EDITED) Hollywood, in a last desperate attempt to entertain corona-struck filmgoers, have decided to give Harrison Ford a final chance to leap out of his wheelchair, grab his whip, and go on a last Indiana Jones adventure. There was a slight…
President Trump Seen Through Window Wearing Basque
There can be fewer things more embarrassing than actually 'being President Donald Trump' at the moment, but the soon-to-be-ousted US leader went one better this week, when he was seen through a window at the White House wearing a sexy basque. An e…Are you missing the popular beat-combo Steps? If you are, then you are not alone, as, during lockdown, their tracks 'One for Sorrow' and 'Tragedy' have been streamed fairly regularly, obviously not that much, but enough for them to half-think abou…
Female Football Show Host Made Schoolgirl Error
There were cases of stifled laughter and sideways glances in a TV studio earlier this evening, and viewers at home had to pinch themselves, when the female host of True Visions Live Matchday Extra football programme made a schoolboy error when she re…