Rehearsals for Obama needle jab start soon; cast expanding
Mr. Obama has said he will step forward to get the Covid 19 vaccine in a televised event to encourage confidence in the public. This versus 36% of nurses who say they will not take it, and that, contrary to usual procedures, the vaccines have been…Manchester United demand they start games in the second half!
(NOT EDITED) All the negative adjectives in the English dictionary can be slung at Manchester United in a series of quite disgraceful first 45-minute performances! Their manager, Ole, has found a solution to this problem and is demanding the EFA (Eng…Ivanka Trump Opens New Pop-Up Celebrity Covid Vaccination Clinic
News that the ex-president’s wife/daughter, Ivanka, has jumped on the Covid bandwagon to make a fast buck from it came as no surprise to the hastily-assembled press pack summoned to the White House this morning. Instead of the usual briefing, a t…Man Couldn't Hear What Son Was Saying Because His Mouth Was Full
There was confusion aplenty in one household at breakfast time this morning, as a man who was speaking to his young son couldn't understand what he was saying because his mouth was full of Coco Pops. That is, 'the man couldn't understand what his…Dr. Fauci Says President Trump Needs To Visit An Exorcist
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has made his strongest comment yet, regarding the President. Dr. Fauci, who h…Mental Case Dyes His Beard Orange
There was real drama in Karachi yesterday when a local man who is known to be a bit of a headcase, appeared in public having dyed his beard orange. Indeed, anyone casting a mere cursory glance at the man might not even have thought it was a beard…Melania Offers Bidens Personal Tour of White House “Especially if Hunter Will Be Thereâ€
Washington - Melania Trump has reached out to future First Lady Jill Biden to offer a personally conducted tour of the White House living quarters for the Biden family. “I especially would like to extend my welcome to all of the extended Biden fam…Hollywood Remakes Linda Lovelace’s X-Rated Porn Classic “Deep Throatâ€
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" 1972 was the year that a roller-skating Sonic Drive-In car hop became the most famous porn star in the world. Linda Lovelace was chosen by producers of the X-rated movie “Deep Throat†because of her amazingly natural ac…#1 Ranked Alabama Could Be Facing NCAA Sanctions
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - Fans of number one-ranked University of Alabama (8-0) are holding their collective breaths, as the Crimson Tide is being investigated for possible collegiate violations. Johnny Mariachi, director of the NCAA’s Rul…Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Chosen To Be First Recipient Of Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move that is sure to surprise many once they've been made aware of it, the Manchester United defender and captain, Harry Maguire, has been selected by the British government to be the very first recipient in the country - and, therefore, on Eart…Connecticut Is Getting Into The Cocaine Business
HARTFORD â€" (Satire News) â€" After much controversy, the state of Connecticut has finally informed the media that it has voted to legalize cocaine by a vote of 74 to 7, with 19 abstaining. Senator Kingston P. Riffkit, 84, told Boom Boom News that, a…Mexico Asks US To Increase Height Of Border Wall
With the Coronavirus now spreading through all US states like wildfire, the number of positive cases having risen above 14 million, and deaths currently heading for 300,000, the Mexican government has asked Donald Trump if he wouldn't mind finishing…Trump suffers from severe hearing loss, keeps saying, ‘pardon me’.
Sean P. Conley, the White House physician, has confirmed that there are definite signs that President Trump, like Caesar, has turned a deaf ear to the no-concession advice from his inner circle and loquacious sons. Even the syrupy praise of Hanni…(NOT EDITED) The one and only, infamous, linguistic, illiterate idiot in his own language, Jaggedone, has been commissioned by renowned professors from the Goethe Institute in Munich to modernize their Jurassic, Nazi-influenced, phonetic alphabet.
President Trump Puts His 2 Cents In Regarding Vanderbilt Kicker Sarah Fuller
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The President spoke with his favorite television host, Maria Bartiromo, with Fox News, and told her that, as far as he is concerned, she is the prettiest and sexiest woman on television. He pointed out that he…Megan Thee Stallion To Have Her Humongous Tits Reduced
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" It’s no secret in the entertainment world that rapper Megan Thee Stallion’s breasts are the biggest ones to come down the entertainment pike in a long time. Bravo Network's Andy Cohen has called the singer with the two…Ann Coulter Denies She Had Trump’s Baby
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Republican pundit and woman who looks like she’s on stilts, Ann Coulter, appeared on The Tucker Carlson Show. Ann, who some have referred to as a human tongue depressor with hair, said she’s glad Donald Trump lost.COVID-19 Not All 'Doom And Gloom', Says Man
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, always gets a bad rep, and we hear, on a daily basis, about how terrible it is, and about all the negative aspects connected with it. The huge number of infections, the tragic deaths, how health services have become over…Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’
Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios, Mr Michael Mouse, announc…Will Mike Pence Dump Donald Trump?
This is a question many have been asking, away, of course, from Trump’s earshot: Will Vice President Mike Pence dump Donald Trump? Trump is getting a little too iffy, insisting 2020 was a rigged election, making inflammatory statements pitting re…Trump to Pardon Matt Gaetz From Any Pending Charges That He’s an Annoying Tool
Washington - President Donald Trump, on his way out of the White House after being defeated by Joe Biden, has pardoned a number of his political cronies including, recently, formerly National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. He is also considering pa…President Trump Is Now Blaming Space Aliens For His Loss
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that President Trump is now saying that the reason for his landslide loss to Joe Biden is due to space aliens. The sad, aging man who is turning into a zombie, before our very eyes, in…Lame Duck Trump Is Illegally Selling Coronavirus Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The FBI has just discovered yet one more business scam that Trump is involved in. Recordings made at Trump’s International Hotel, allegedly show him working out a business deal with a vaccine dealer from Detroit,…George Michael To Be Remembered Again At Christmas
As the world tries desperately to come to terms with the Coronavirus and all the changes it has brought to everyday life, it's fair to say that this Christmas might be one unlike any other. Shopping for presents in the High Street, if it's permitt…San Antonio Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich To Run For Governor of Texas
SAN ANTONIO â€" (Sports Satire) - One of the most successful coaches in the history of professional sports, Gregg Popovich, says that he hates the current Texas governor so much, that he hopes he gets bit in the tongue by a Texas armadillo. Coach Po…More People Discovered To Be Living In Bangladesh Than In Russia
In news that will, no doubt startle some readers, and bore others to tears, it's been discovered that, despite the vast difference in the geographical proportions of the two countries, there are more people living in tiny Bangladesh than there are in…Trump To Pardon Children In Cages
In a move that will warm the very cockles of the heart of every single reader, as well as countless millions of his own supporters who just knew this day must come, President Donald Trump has decided to pardon all the children being held in cages alo…Trump Would Shout Rigged Tennis Match If He Lost To Roger Federer
To throw a tantrum, and claim that he really won the 2020 election, and that the outcome was rigged, would be like Trump playing Roger Federer at tennis, getting beaten in a golden set match, then claim the match was rigged. No way could Trump bea…10 Amazing Facts to Impress People
Do people think you're dumb? Boring? Slow-witted? Then why not change their opinion of you by telling them one of these amazing "Did you know..?" facts? It will have people riveted in seconds, and gagging for more exciting facts to be rammed down…