Analysts say senator's “erection†mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats
Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…Man Makes Breakthrough In 18-Month-Old Sudoku
There were celebrations in one household this afternoon, when a man who started a Sudoku puzzle from the newspaper nearly 18 months ago but stopped trying to complete it when it became rather too difficult, made a chance inroad which may, ultimately,…In news that is sure to come as a bombshell to those in culinary circles, a man has revealed how a pie he bought from a bakery, at dinnertime today, had become stuck to the greaseproof paper casing upon which it was sat. Moys Kenwood, 57, purchase…
Trump To Run For President Of Russia
With Vladimir Putin having so much trouble with opposition leader Alexei Navalny, Donald Trump sees a possible opening and solution to his bankruptcy, jail sentence, Mar-A-Lago, and Apprentice cancelation, which is to escape to Russia, and then run f…GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satires) â€" In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…
Man Urinates On Other Man's Trousers
Not content with making the common public urinal mistake of urinating all over a neighboring user's shoes, one man went a step further at the weekend when, hurriedly unzipping his fly to relieve his bladder, he 'lost control' of the situation, and so…Mike Pence A Hero And A Gentleman
After standing behind Donald Trump for the last four years and looking half asleep, former Vice President Mike Pence came to life in his last month of office, proving to be both a hero and a gentleman. Hard to say that about Donald Trump. Vice…Biden Names Detrick “Dirty Trick†Detwiler To Head FBI
BILLINGSGATE POST: For the first time since J Edgar Hoover, the FBI will have a director who is not beholden to anyone. Today, President Biden announced that he is replacing Christopher Wray with a man who has no boundaries, a man who can’t be bought…Couple still haven't laughed at Radio 4 comedy programmes
Chutney on the Fritz couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson have admitted that, despite their best efforts, they are yet to find a single thing that Radio Four describe as comedy funny, or even rib-tickling. 'We listened to that thing with Robert Webb,…Rupert Penny-Farthing, from Mithering on the Trent, has given up reading the Daily Mail. He gave it up as a New Year's resolution, but now, after more than three weeks, he knows that he is strong enough never to go near another copy of the tabloid fa…
Giggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles†Harris
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles†Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…Successful Space Launch from Sussex
Nosey neighbour Jess Curious was last seen rising swiftly from the roof of 25 Privet Road, Harshleigh, Sussex. Owner, Nona Yorbizniss, claims that Mr Curious insisted on testing her newly-installed high-speed lift - "Much more swift than your old sta…Train spotter missing regular trains
Trainspotter Bob Montgomery, 58 from Cheddar Off Cut, a small town close to Chutney on the Fritz, is really missing having more regular trains. With Coronavirus restrictions in full place, fewer trains have been stopping or passing through Cheddar…Queen Invites President Joseph Biden To Tea
This telephone recording was made by skilled cyber communication traffickers. Learning that Queen Elizabeth had invited Joseph Biden to tea, former President Obama immediately got on the telephone with the Queen. President Obama was put on ho…Trump's note to Biden at The Oval Office (now framed and under glass) leaked to the press
World leaders and social media are expressing outrage that Mr. Trump's farewell note to Mr. Biden has been exposed. Mr. Biden described the note as “a very generous letter.†Meanwhile, Mr. Bin Salman and Mr. Netanyahu have led a chorus of angr…Suicidal Liverpool FC fans break lockdown and jump in the Mersey!
(NOT EDITED) One hit wonders, Liverpool FC, are wondering why they are not 'top dogs' anymore while both Manchester clubs are 'rinsing' them this season after their first Premier League success since the Amoeba exited water! Their German manager,…Bill Cosby Divulges That Thanks To Trump He’s As Happy As a Squirrel With a Bucketful of Nuts
PHOENIX â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News has just confirmed that the happiest prisoner at The Phoenix State Prison For Criminals is Bill Cosby, aka inmate #91069. Cos, as he was called before he was charged with drugging, seducing, and boinking ov…Man Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet
A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet. Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashio…Liverpool Boss Jurgen Klopp Has Lost The Dressing Room
Fans of the Premier League champions, Liverpool, were in disarray this morning after seeing their team slide further down the table following an Anfield defeat by lowly Burnley, but they may not be in as much disarray as their German coach, Jurgen Kl…German truck load of pigs gets stuck in the mud!
Truck driving in rural areas during winter can sometimes be precarious especially when a farm sits on top of a muddy hill, and trucks loaded with live pigs need to reach the farm. One incident, which caused quite a stir (not fry), happened in a ti…New theory of politics vigorously denied in the halls of social media and congress
Professor Floutus Dignit of MIT has just emerged to the world stage with a theory he calls “similar to the problem of delirium tremens in the old days.†The delirium tremens malady occurs as a consequence of withdrawal from alcohol, with unpleasa…Russian Political Scientist Kept Saying "Mmng-geh"
A Russian political scientist invited onto a news programme to give his views on the arrest and subsequent incarceration of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, raised eyebrows amongst the viewing public after he peppered his statements with a s…Britain nominated for "Sick Man of Europe"
Britain is set to reclaim a title it hasn't held since the 1970s - the sick man of Europe. The award is given annually by the European Sickness Bureau (BSE) and in the last few years has been given to Russia, Poland and Turkey. "We're very proud t…Biden’s Surprising New Executive Orders Stun (Some) Americans
Apparently true to his word that he would not waste time merely legislating when executive orders would suffice, President Biden has issued a new set of far-reaching orders that will fundamentally transform America. 1. First, the southern US bord…The World’s Number One Satire Site Has Just Given It’s Writers a Strict Directive
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Well, finally, Donald Johnny Trump, the worst president in the history of the United States, has high-tailed it out of Dodge, and is now languishing bitterly in disgrace in his Mar-a-Lago residence down in The Plywood…Liverpool: The Wheels Are Well-And-Truly Off!
After last year's success, when Liverpool Football Club won their first top flight title in three decades, few people would have bet against Jurgen Klopp's men repeating the feat this time around, but after a humiliating 1-0 defeat against Burnley at…Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada
HOUSTON â€" (Sports Satire) â€" In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…Biden Spends First Day Cleaning Up
He may not have been in office very long, but, in today's rough-and-tumble environment of political shenanigans, where things move quickly, truth has become 'optional', and the victor is often the person who doles out the best nicknames, Joe Biden is…Trump Opens 2024 Bid by Attacking Rival Ted Cruz, Citing 2016 Iowa Fraud, JFK Shooting and Ugly Wife
Mar-A-Lago - Recently departed former President Donald Trump, on a day following his speech to supporters at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, has declared his candidacy for President in 2024, and immediately attacked his two expected challengers f…Piracy on the high seas is back
Brexit Britain is a sea of opportunity. According to Tory MP Iain Duncan-Smith, he wishes he was 22 again, so that he could take advantage of those opportunities and start "buccaneering" again. But a pirate ship is no place for a bald old man with…