Man Admits To Using Strong Language
The same man who said earlier that he was suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has now admitted that, from time to time, his language can be extremely colorful. And,…Poor Donny. He doesn’t understand how clocks work. It's okay, because if you have your very own gold toilet, time doesn't matter! At 9:00 on election night, Donald Trump was on his way to a second four-year term in the White House. So he went to…
Sleepy Joe Talks To Vladimir: A Transcript Of The Private Conversation
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not all conversations are equal. But if you ever wished you were a fly on the wall, here’s your chance: This past Tuesday, President Biden was awakened from his Deep State sleep by the ringing of his ACME RED XXX TOP SECRET PHO…Man's Cultural Experiences Make His Blood Boil
A man who says he is suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has admitted that, from time to time, he gets a bit angry. And, often, he becomes extremely irritable. M…Boris Johnson discussing Scottish Independence with the Krankies
Wee Jimmy Krankie and the lesser-remembered Ian are in discussions with the UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, about an independent Scotland. Although the pair, best known for their 1980s antics, may not seem the best possible choice to discuss Sco…Enron Shares Climb on Reddit Activity
NEW YORK - Enron (ENRN) is the hottest stock right now, with a massive “army†of internet-driven retail investors taking advantage of an incredibly rare scenario that’s driving up the stock price. ENRN closed at $65 on Friday, after reaching a high o…Twitter Cancels President Biden’s Account For Misspellings
BILLINGSGATE POST: The list goes on: Some self-righteous, dope-addled employee of Twitter has pulled the switch again, this time on President Biden. After cutting off President Trump, the My Pillow guy, Beaver Crossing farmer, Elmer Smuckmeister, an…Kerry Advises Out of Work Pipefitters to Eat Catsup
John Kerry, Biden’s new Clean Energy Czar, and possibly the most annoyingly in-bred, elitist virtue signaling giant twerp of all time, recently looked down upon the thousands of out of work pipefitters from his vantage point five miles above Montana…Elder Porn! Seniors Caught Exchanging Explicit Photos
Leisure Land Senior Village, Laguna Beach, CA. Special to The Spoof. Authorities here are cracking down on a ring of seniors - men and women - who have been using computers in the community library to circulate what are referred to as overly explicit…Man Squashed Bottle Top For No Apparent Reason
A pedestrian who was walking along a public footpath has said he isn't really certain why he did it, but claims to have trodden on a bottle top he saw, squashing it almost flat. The incident occurred at around 7:45 am this morning, as schoolteache…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, informed the press corps that, so far, President Biden has signed 273 Presidential Executive Orders cancelling all the dumb, stupid-ass shit orders that Trump signed. She st…
UK Miserable old Bastard moans about everything!
(NOT EDITED) John Joe Johnson, resident of a miserable town in Lincolnshire, UK, called Boston, is the perfect example of the actual town itself, bloody miserable! JJJ, is a renowned miserable bastard who ambles around the town moaning at everythi…Patrick Mahomes and Tom Brady's Awesome Super Bowl Bet is Revealed
TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Sports Bet Gazette has just revealed that the two Super Bowl quarterbacks Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, have just made a fantastic bet with each other on upcoming Super Bowl LV, number 55 for those who don’t speak R…Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Getting Back Together
GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The word on the streets and the cheese shops of Green Bay is that Packers quarterback and his ex-NASCAR girlfriend Danica Patrick are getting back together. The two dated last year and even had a reality show called A…Mexico To Open The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Diet Taco Stand
TIJUANA, Mexico â€" (Satire News) â€" Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday. Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody…MC Hammer Party Spoilt By Owner's Materialism
A house party thrown by one of the music world's most successful rap stars of the 1980s and early 1990s, MC Hammer, was a major disappointment according to one fan who attended the function at the star's home in Tracy, California. John Ingrate, wh…Man Marries His Gorgeously Sexy Blonde Blue-Eyed Robot Doll Girlfriend
FUKAHAMA, Japan â€" (Satire News) â€" Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend. Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunni…Seattle Cops Demand Antifa Justify Riots Or Lose Allowance
In Portland, where left-wing extremists shattered the windows of the headquarters for the Democratic Party of Oregon and graffitied its walls with anti-Biden messages, authorities are suddenly expressing dismay at continued violence. With the departu…Will Donald J. Trump Be Banned?
When it was announced that Donald Trump could be banned from holding public office again, many questioned whether he ever held public office before. The White House gig? That was babysitting The Resolute, known as the president’s desk. He was also kn…Boris Johnson Finally Admits He's A Muppet
London, England - After years of insinuation and speculation, UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, finally admitted that he was, indeed, a bloody Muppet. "Surprise, surprise!" said pretty much everybody. The news came only a day after Kermit The F…Dutch joint smokers go on riots because their masks bug them!
(NOT EDITED) Recent rioting in the quaint, peaceful nation, called Holland, have been misinterpreted in global media reports. Morons, Looters, Hooligans, Bovver Boys, and girls are not protesting about Covid-19 curfews, no way, Gottverdomme! Jagg…One of The Stars of 4 Girls Fingerpainting Has Been Arrested
WEST HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News has just divulged that one of the featured actresses in the shock video 4 Girls Fingerpainting has been arrested at a Jack-in-the-Box in West Hollywood. Tammy Capizzio, 27, was taken into custody by…Vladimir Putin Gets Into A Snit With Donald J. Trump
Hearing that Donald Trump had designs running for the Russian presidency, Vladimir Putin lost his usual X-KGB cool. Dismissing his feigned pause during rolling expressionless translations, Putin exploded and immediately blasted Trump for his threaten…LeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls
Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, on Monday night, to establish a new NBA record of 25,115 uncalled fouls against him in his storied 18-year career. James got 26 no-calls in a 115-108 victory over the Cleveland Caval…Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West
(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning acto…My Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" The Chicago Daily Wind has just announced that Michael Lindell, CEO of the My Pillow Corporation, and man who would marry Donald Trump in a nano-second, is standing in deep dodo, as they say down in Arkansas. Lindell, who…The Greater Crime: Ignoring COVID-19 Or Claiming Rigged Election?
Should Donald Trump be prosecuted for war crimes because he ignored COVID-19? Knowing better, he insisted COVID-19 would be gone in a couple of months; that COVID-19 was like the flu. It would go away with hot weather. Was it incompetence or ignor…A local man was admitted to a local hospital early today complaining of discombobulation and confusion. "I don't know what the f**k happened!" he said from his hospital bed. "Just a few minutes earlier, I was fine. Next thing I knew, I was flat on my…
Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Existence of Diabetes, Doppler Effect, Idaho, Teenagers….
WASHINGTON DC - ..Gravity, World War I, Egg Yolks, Newton’s Laws of Motion, Dictionaries, Limestone, the number 17, Bicycles, Climate Change, Climate Change Deniers, the Bond between a Boy and his Dog, Air Travel, Hungarians, that Best Buy ensures a…Bill Clinton Unable to Keep Nose in Mask; Denies that it is a Metaphor for Anything
WASHINGTON DC â€" In a political world full of symbols and nuance, people are looking to mask-wearing practices as a way of making intentions known. Spotted at the Biden Inauguration last week, it appeared that Bill Clinton was unable to keep his nose…