Man Squashed Bottle Top For No Apparent Reason
A pedestrian who was walking along a public footpath has said he isn't really certain why he did it, but claims to have trodden on a bottle top he saw, squashing it almost flat. The incident occurred at around 7:45 am this morning, as schoolteache…Elder Porn! Seniors Caught Exchanging Explicit Photos
Leisure Land Senior Village, Laguna Beach, CA. Special to The Spoof. Authorities here are cracking down on a ring of seniors - men and women - who have been using computers in the community library to circulate what are referred to as overly explicit…UK Miserable old Bastard moans about everything!
(NOT EDITED) John Joe Johnson, resident of a miserable town in Lincolnshire, UK, called Boston, is the perfect example of the actual town itself, bloody miserable! JJJ, is a renowned miserable bastard who ambles around the town moaning at everythi…MC Hammer Party Spoilt By Owner's Materialism
A house party thrown by one of the music world's most successful rap stars of the 1980s and early 1990s, MC Hammer, was a major disappointment according to one fan who attended the function at the star's home in Tracy, California. John Ingrate, wh…Seattle Cops Demand Antifa Justify Riots Or Lose Allowance
In Portland, where left-wing extremists shattered the windows of the headquarters for the Democratic Party of Oregon and graffitied its walls with anti-Biden messages, authorities are suddenly expressing dismay at continued violence. With the departu…Man Marries His Gorgeously Sexy Blonde Blue-Eyed Robot Doll Girlfriend
FUKAHAMA, Japan â€" (Satire News) â€" Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend. Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunni…Mexico To Open The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Diet Taco Stand
TIJUANA, Mexico â€" (Satire News) â€" Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday. Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody…Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Getting Back Together
GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The word on the streets and the cheese shops of Green Bay is that Packers quarterback and his ex-NASCAR girlfriend Danica Patrick are getting back together. The two dated last year and even had a reality show called A…Will Donald J. Trump Be Banned?
When it was announced that Donald Trump could be banned from holding public office again, many questioned whether he ever held public office before. The White House gig? That was babysitting The Resolute, known as the president’s desk. He was also kn…Boris Johnson Finally Admits He's A Muppet
London, England - After years of insinuation and speculation, UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, finally admitted that he was, indeed, a bloody Muppet. "Surprise, surprise!" said pretty much everybody. The news came only a day after Kermit The F…Analysts say senator's “erection†mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats
Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…One of The Stars of 4 Girls Fingerpainting Has Been Arrested
WEST HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News has just divulged that one of the featured actresses in the shock video 4 Girls Fingerpainting has been arrested at a Jack-in-the-Box in West Hollywood. Tammy Capizzio, 27, was taken into custody by…LeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls
Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, on Monday night, to establish a new NBA record of 25,115 uncalled fouls against him in his storied 18-year career. James got 26 no-calls in a 115-108 victory over the Cleveland Caval…DICKWEED, Mississippi â€" (Satire News) â€" Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…
Vladimir Putin Gets Into A Snit With Donald J. Trump
Hearing that Donald Trump had designs running for the Russian presidency, Vladimir Putin lost his usual X-KGB cool. Dismissing his feigned pause during rolling expressionless translations, Putin exploded and immediately blasted Trump for his threaten…Trump To Run For President Of Russia
With Vladimir Putin having so much trouble with opposition leader Alexei Navalny, Donald Trump sees a possible opening and solution to his bankruptcy, jail sentence, Mar-A-Lago, and Apprentice cancelation, which is to escape to Russia, and then run f…Man Makes Breakthrough In 18-Month-Old Sudoku
There were celebrations in one household this afternoon, when a man who started a Sudoku puzzle from the newspaper nearly 18 months ago but stopped trying to complete it when it became rather too difficult, made a chance inroad which may, ultimately,…GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satires) â€" In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…
In news that is sure to come as a bombshell to those in culinary circles, a man has revealed how a pie he bought from a bakery, at dinnertime today, had become stuck to the greaseproof paper casing upon which it was sat. Moys Kenwood, 57, purchase…
Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West
(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning acto…Dutch joint smokers go on riots because their masks bug them!
(NOT EDITED) Recent rioting in the quaint, peaceful nation, called Holland, have been misinterpreted in global media reports. Morons, Looters, Hooligans, Bovver Boys, and girls are not protesting about Covid-19 curfews, no way, Gottverdomme! Jagg…Man Urinates On Other Man's Trousers
Not content with making the common public urinal mistake of urinating all over a neighboring user's shoes, one man went a step further at the weekend when, hurriedly unzipping his fly to relieve his bladder, he 'lost control' of the situation, and so…Biden Names Detrick “Dirty Trick†Detwiler To Head FBI
BILLINGSGATE POST: For the first time since J Edgar Hoover, the FBI will have a director who is not beholden to anyone. Today, President Biden announced that he is replacing Christopher Wray with a man who has no boundaries, a man who can’t be bought…Mike Pence A Hero And A Gentleman
After standing behind Donald Trump for the last four years and looking half asleep, former Vice President Mike Pence came to life in his last month of office, proving to be both a hero and a gentleman. Hard to say that about Donald Trump. Vice…President Biden’s New Press Secretary Makes Trump’s Press Secretaries Look Like Douchebags
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" White House press secretary Jen Psaki, during her first press conference, stated that, unlike Trump’s press secretaries, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Kayleigh McEnany, she will tell the truth, she won’t…Couple still haven't laughed at Radio 4 comedy programmes
Chutney on the Fritz couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson have admitted that, despite their best efforts, they are yet to find a single thing that Radio Four describe as comedy funny, or even rib-tickling. 'We listened to that thing with Robert Webb,…Rupert Penny-Farthing, from Mithering on the Trent, has given up reading the Daily Mail. He gave it up as a New Year's resolution, but now, after more than three weeks, he knows that he is strong enough never to go near another copy of the tabloid fa…
Giggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles†Harris
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles†Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…Successful Space Launch from Sussex
Nosey neighbour Jess Curious was last seen rising swiftly from the roof of 25 Privet Road, Harshleigh, Sussex. Owner, Nona Yorbizniss, claims that Mr Curious insisted on testing her newly-installed high-speed lift - "Much more swift than your old sta…Train spotter missing regular trains
Trainspotter Bob Montgomery, 58 from Cheddar Off Cut, a small town close to Chutney on the Fritz, is really missing having more regular trains. With Coronavirus restrictions in full place, fewer trains have been stopping or passing through Cheddar…