Football Show Commentator Kept Calling Tyrone Mings "Tyrone Minge"
There was much mirth and laughter during a TV football programme this afternoon, when the commentator on the Aston Villa versus Arsenal Premier League fixture kept referring to the home side's defender Tyrone Mings as 'Tyrone Minge', which was clearl…Republicans Censure Liz Cheney But Okay With Trump Inciting Riot
Planet Earth skidded to a stop, and started scratching its head. “What?†Planet Earth asked. “The Republicans have censured Liz Cheney for exercising her freedom of speech, but are okay with Donald Trump inciting the January 6th riot of the Capit…Why Isn't The Super Bowl Known As The Superbowl?
When the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV at the Raymond James Stadium in Tampa on Sunday night, there won't be many people asking why the game has a two-word moniker, but that was exactly the question one man was…Marjorie Taylor Greene Set To Make Super Bowl Coin-Toss
Football fans across the country are waiting on tenterhooks tonight, after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell hinted in an interview with sports journalists that Sunday's Super Bowl pre-match coin-toss may be made by the Republican representative for Geo…News has reached us that Donald Trump's hairpiece has released a scathing, fly- on-the-wall attack on the much-missed American president. The hairpiece, an unheralded witness to any of Trump's tantrums, arguments and fleeting affairs, was paid an…
Connecticut Bans Butler Fights
HARTFORD â€" Over stiff opposition from the state Republican Party, Connecticut governor Ned Lamont today signed a bill banning the practice of Butler Fights. This is a practice in which the butler of one gentleman is put in a pit with the butler of an…Young Frankenstein Curse Claims Cloris Leachman
LOS ANGELES â€" In yet another example of the curse on the actors in the movie Young Frankenstein, Cloris Leachman has passed away at age 94. This follows the long list of untimely deaths of the 1974 movie’s stars. Starting with Marty Feldman in 198…CPSC Issues Advisory that Materials Used in MyPillow May Cause Delusions of Political Conspiracies
Washington DC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a statement on Friday, that it is looking into data that seems to indicate that prolonged exposure to MyPillow might cause those connected with its manufacture to have hallucinations and d…New Orleans is Moving This Year's Mardi Gras Celebration To Denver, Colorado
NEW ORLEANS â€" (Satire News) â€" The New Orleans City Council, with the approval of the Chamber of Commerce, has decided to move this year’s Mardi Gras celebration to Denver, Colorado. City manager Paxton W. Studsteen stated that the reason is due to…Man Made Mistake Of Spitting Whilst On Motorbike
A man out for a ride as a passenger on his wife's motorcycle at the weekend, has revealed how he made the catastrophic and very embarrassing mistake of attempting to spit whilst the vehicle was in motion. The incident happened last Sunday, as Moys…Eric Trump Lets It Accidentally Slip, That His Daddy Is Planning on Escaping To Scotland
BROOKLYN â€" (Satire News) â€" Eric Trump, Donald’s second and least-favorite son, was in the Big Apple getting a pubic procedure redone. He was interviewed by Fox News reporter Maria Bartiromo, and asked how his daddy was doing. Eric replied that…All Donald Trump Said Was, "Make Your Thinking Known."
Donald Trump’s lawyers are presenting his defense. Trump is innocent. Donald Trump wasn’t firing up a mob. Nah! No way! All Trump said was, “Make your thinking known.†Or: “Folks,†(referring to a mob of goons and killers defecating in the ha…An Undefeated Wrestler on The Harvard Women’s Team Has Been Banned
CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Word coming out of Harvard University, is that one of its star female wrestlers, Penny Saddlehorn, has just been banned. According to iNews reporter, Kitty Segovia, it appears that Saddlehorn, who had a…Five Wonka Bars Contain Golden Vaccination Ticket
WONKAVILLE â€" The Wonka Corporation (a Unilever subsidiary) has announced that, in five of its Wonka Bars, there will be a Golden Ticket that allows the winner to receive a free Covid-19 vaccination. “There was a promotion like this a few years bac…(NOT EDITED) After connecting via a medium, immortal author, P.G.Wodehouse, has again pecked on Jaggedone's wooden brain to offer his spiffing fans posh messages from the 'Other Side!' Bertie Wooster and his butler, Jeeves, reside in a honeycomb o…
A Disclaimer Before Giuliani Speaks
Who knew that Rudolph Giuliani had a radio program? Apparently, before his program began recently, there was a disclaimer. “That’s kind of an insult,†said Giuliani. Not kind of an insult, it is most definitely an insult, as well as an insura…GOP Offers to “Uncensure†Cindy McCain if She Calls Off the “Space Lasers Causing Our Firesâ€
Phoenix- The Arizona chapter of the Republican Party has graciously offered to remove the censure handed out to the widow of former U.S.Senator John McCain for “being the widow of former U.S. Senator John McCainâ€. John McCain was also censured by…Nancy Pelosi and The Democrats Want The Bat-Shit Crazy Marjorie Taylor Greene to Be Arrested
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" There is an old Bulgarian carpenter saying that says, when one door closes, another one opens. Well, in today’s world, one could say, when one lying, evil, racist leaves, another one arrives. According to Nanc…What happened to all of Ronan Keating's Albums?
It has been a mystery for years, but, apparently, Ronan Keating has sold many albums in his solo career and as a member of Boyzone, but these days no-one admits to having a CD in their collection. Along with Shania Twain's works, the Vengaboys and…Spider still stuck in the bath
Spider Gavin Williamson has been stuck in a bath for three days now, and still shows no signs of wanting to move out. The 23-month-old arachnid said: 'I have been here for a while, I mean, I climbed out of the plughole, as spiders do, and now I ca…Man still listening to Paul McCartney's new album
More than six weeks after it was released, Brian Asshat is still listening to Paul McCartney's latest album, 'McCartney III'. Chutney on the Fritz's most famous bachelor, Thomas Johnson, who is only 15, and has his eyes on Sarah Fitzmaurice, is kn…A tired man who decided to take a few extra minutes in bed this morning after his alarm clock went off, came close to being left red-faced when his 'few minutes' turned into 'more than an hour', and he was very nearly late for work. Moys Kenwood,…
English lobsters demand new Brexit referendum!
(NOT EDITED) English lobsters caught in EU waters are now being returned to the UK and, instead of being directly boiled alive in French or German cooking pots, are now rotting in chilled trailers stuck in traffic jams waiting for customs clearance!…RAPID CITY, SD â€" Unusual seismic activity has been noticed, in recent weeks, around the monument at Mount Rushmore. This was then followed by strong sulfur smells noticed by visitors. That resulted, today, in the eruption at the top crater of the scu…
Man still banging on about something
Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most famous thrower of shoes, is still banging on about something, says his neighbour, Felicity Dowager. She told us: 'Luckily, I only see Brian very rarely these days, and the conversations we have are all thr…Face Mask Blown Off Face By Strong Gust Of Wind
There was surprise and not a little anger in one locality this morning, as the progress of a man strolling through the streets minding his own business was suddenly arrested when a strong gust of wind blew his face mask from his face, and onto the pa…Mexico Reveals Its Stance on Atheist Women Who Pose in The Nude
AGUASCALIENTES, Mexico - (Satire News) â€" Rosendo Reynosa, spokesman for the Republic of Mexico, has informed the international news media that, after months of discussion, the government has decided they will now take a stand on the issue of atheist…CHEYENNE, Wyoming â€" (Satire News) â€" Horatio P. Zipp, 56, told Boom Boom News that he had been homeless for 6 years, ever since a horde of invading barbarian termites ate his 800 square foot wooden shack. He said that he had been standing on the co…
A lady who is a Republican member of the US House of Representatives has threatened to put a bullet in the head of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi. This same lady announced that she wanted former president, Barack Obama…
Mafia Lawyer turning down Donald Trump
Mafia lawyer Joey 'The Enforcer' Santiago has turned down the chance to work with Donald Trump. 'I know where the bodies are, where the fish are, and the best purveyors of concrete overcoats,' said Santiago, 'but there is no way I will be defendin…