Justice For The Capitol Building
The Capitol Building was vandalized by a mob of insurrectionists guided and motivated by Donald J. Trump. He claimed his reelection was stolen. Boo Hoo! Every loser’s lament. Trump failed to win the popular vote, and didn't come near winning t…What Will Rogers Might Say About Today's Events
Here are some idiosyncratic observations about life in America today, written in the style of Will Rogers, as thoughts from far outside the box. The Pope says all dogs go to heaven. Does that include Rottweilers? A rising tide lifts all boats…Bravo, Liz Cheney! While all the Republican Senators (except for Mitt Romney) got it dead wrong, House Representative Liz Cheney, Dick’s daughter, got it 100%, tap dancing, right! Speaking as a patriot and knowledgeable of the Constitution, Ms. C…
History For Children #2: Adolf Hitler
Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Adolf, who lived in a cold, snowy country called Austria. From a humble beginning, Adolf grew up to be a famous man, who everybody knew about. This is his story. Adolf lived in a town called Linz. He…When Liverpool put seven goals past Crystal Palace just seven short weeks ago on 19 December, the talk amongst football punditry was of "how far ahead of other football teams Jurgen Klopp's team are", how they were "uncatchable", and how "exquisite"…
Speaking in the House of Commons, Minister for Special Deals, Phil Offthebakova-Laurie, hailed the signing of a recent trade agreement with Japan as a triumph for exotic fish keepers. “We’ve netted a good one,†he quipped, to cheers from government b…
Teacher Resorted To Game Of Bingo To 'Kill Time'
A teacher at a school where students had completed their work, and were merely sitting and waiting for the term to end, has told how he blew the roof off the building when he told his charges there was going to be a game of Bingo. The 9-year-old s…Secret Service Agent Mistakes Biden’s Package For Elderly Gerbil
BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen sooner or later. While Vice-President under Barack Obama, there were complaints by female Secret Service Agents that they were uncomfortable when they were forced to watch Sleepy Joe take his morning swim in the Wh…HONG KONG â€" (World News) â€" China’s Abacus News Agency has made it known that the leader of China, Xi Jinping, wants to purchase the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. The Chinese leader stated that he has been wanting to buy the covete…
Germany passes legislation making farting in public legal!
(NOT EDITED) Amid protests from conspiracy theorists, 'Querdenkers' (not Queer), lockdown opponents, and other mad-hatters in German society, Angie Merkel's government have decided to offer an olive-branch to such radical groups. Hopefully, by mak…Patrick Mahomes Pays Tom Brady $2 Million
TAMPA BAY â€" (Satire News) â€" After getting his butt kicked all over Raymond James Stadium by Tom Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs, showed that he’s an honorable man. Zorro La Bamba, with Sports Bet Gazette, st…Blame Democrats For Riots Not Trump
The Trump defense is basically: Blame the riots on the Democrats but finish with the theory of free speech. Accusatory and hopeful, but no cigar. It’s like the little kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “You filled the cookie j…101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is still far from being conquered, despite a worldwide roll-out of vaccination programs, but, with many people reporting relatively mild symptoms, it's difficult to know, conclusively, whether we are suffering from COVID-19…“Fight Like Hell,†Said Trump
Donald Trump says he’s innocent of inciting the riot at the Capitol Building on January 6. However, he’s on film, with audio, (his voice) speaking on January 6, in front of the White House, saying, "Fight like hell." Guilty as charged. Bingo! B…'Parisienne Walkways' Heard At Local Wedding
In an incident that will surprise many readers, a man who was eating his breakfast has reported how he became aware of a song blaring out of loudspeakers at a local wedding that, although it was considered a classic in its day, drips with such sadnes…Pelosi adds strip search now required of all Reps entering House Chambers
Capitol police are not sure they have the personnel to carry out Ms. Pelosi's new orders, especially for bathroom breaks from the House floor. The issue rises from a purported metal detector violation by two Republican House members, Reps. Louie G…45 year-old Spoofer slips his disc on the turntable!
(NOT EDITED) Fab disco hit from rather weird 80's disco band, Dead or Alive (He really is dead), "You Spin Me Round" was brought back to life by Glam-Rock-Spoofer, John Joe-Transformer (Real name Bert Bumpkins), as he/she twirled around the bedroom d…Writer Was Victim Of One-Star Ratings Attack
A writer on a satirical news website, who has clearly incurred the wrath of someone else on the site, has revealed how he has become the unwitting recipient of bonus points for six of his stories, after the dissatisfied reader decided to award 1-star…Tampa Bay Police Make 900 Arrests at The Super Bowl
TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Boom Boom News reported that Tampa Bay police officers arrested 900 Super Bowl fans, who ended up missing the big game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Kansas City Chiefs, due to plain and simple unadulterated st…The New York Yankees Sign a 17-Year-Old Pitcher Who Can Throw 107 MPH
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The manager of the New York Yankees, Aaron Boone, says he hasn’t been as happy as he is now since 2001, when he won $91,000 on Lucky Lady La Brea at the Santa Anita racetrack. The thing that has Boone so extremely…Republicans Censure Liz Cheney But Okay With Trump Inciting Riot
Planet Earth skidded to a stop, and started scratching its head. “What?†Planet Earth asked. “The Republicans have censured Liz Cheney for exercising her freedom of speech, but are okay with Donald Trump inciting the January 6th riot of the Capit…Football Show Commentator Kept Calling Tyrone Mings "Tyrone Minge"
There was much mirth and laughter during a TV football programme this afternoon, when the commentator on the Aston Villa versus Arsenal Premier League fixture kept referring to the home side's defender Tyrone Mings as 'Tyrone Minge', which was clearl…All 3 Members of Pussy Riot Are Now Claiming Trump Grabbed Them By The Pussy
BOSTON â€" (Satire News) â€" The Bravo Network’s Andy Cohen, who knows everything about everyone, said that he recently interviewed the three members of the Russian heavy metal rock band, Pussy Riot. Andy talked to the band while eating dinner at Bost…Trump And Biden Caught Singing Duet At Washington Karaoke Bar
BILLINGSGATE POST: During this morning's White House briefing, Press Secretary Jen Psaki confirmed the rumor that President Biden and Donald Trump were seen together at Little Miss Whiskey's Golden Dollar last night, with their arms around each other…Why can't all Parish council meetings be like this?
Following a recent meeting with Handforth Parish Council, another man has asked why his own Parish Council meetings aren't like that. Gary Johnson, a member of Chutney on the Fritz's Parish Council for four years, said: 'In the four years I have b…TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Several members of the news media report that, according to disease experts, traces of the C-19 virus were found in hundreds of the hot dogs served at the Super Bowl game. Dr. Tarpetina Kappalino, with the Florida Fed…
Man's week peaks with his ironing
Monday will not get any better for Gary Johnson, as he has finished the week's ironing. The sturdy husband of Lorraine and father of Thomas, said: 'I thought I would have learnt my lesson by now, but if I do the ironing on a Monday, then I have no…How to Cope With America's Coming Drought
Conservation Nuts, Inc., Waterloo, Iowa. Special to The Spoof. In the midst of massive storms throughout much of the country, talking about drought may be a bit out of place. But snowstorms to the contrary, climate warming presents a potential w…Woman Upset That Air Mexico Would Not Let Her Bring Her Emotional Burro on Board
NUEVO LAREDO, Mexico â€" Mexico’s national news agency, El Ole News, confirmed that an elderly woman pitched a fit when airline employees informed her that she could not bring her emotional burro on board the Nuevo Laredo to Hong Kong flight. The wo…