Teacher Resorted To Game Of Bingo To 'Kill Time'
A teacher at a school where students had completed their work, and were merely sitting and waiting for the term to end, has told how he blew the roof off the building when he told his charges there was going to be a game of Bingo. The 9-year-old s…Germany passes legislation making farting in public legal!
(NOT EDITED) Amid protests from conspiracy theorists, 'Querdenkers' (not Queer), lockdown opponents, and other mad-hatters in German society, Angie Merkel's government have decided to offer an olive-branch to such radical groups. Hopefully, by mak…Blame Democrats For Riots Not Trump
The Trump defense is basically: Blame the riots on the Democrats but finish with the theory of free speech. Accusatory and hopeful, but no cigar. It’s like the little kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “You filled the cookie j…101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is still far from being conquered, despite a worldwide roll-out of vaccination programs, but, with many people reporting relatively mild symptoms, it's difficult to know, conclusively, whether we are suffering from COVID-19…'Parisienne Walkways' Heard At Local Wedding
In an incident that will surprise many readers, a man who was eating his breakfast has reported how he became aware of a song blaring out of loudspeakers at a local wedding that, although it was considered a classic in its day, drips with such sadnes…Pelosi adds strip search now required of all Reps entering House Chambers
Capitol police are not sure they have the personnel to carry out Ms. Pelosi's new orders, especially for bathroom breaks from the House floor. The issue rises from a purported metal detector violation by two Republican House members, Reps. Louie G…“Fight Like Hell,†Said Trump
Donald Trump says he’s innocent of inciting the riot at the Capitol Building on January 6. However, he’s on film, with audio, (his voice) speaking on January 6, in front of the White House, saying, "Fight like hell." Guilty as charged. Bingo! B…Writer Was Victim Of One-Star Ratings Attack
A writer on a satirical news website, who has clearly incurred the wrath of someone else on the site, has revealed how he has become the unwitting recipient of bonus points for six of his stories, after the dissatisfied reader decided to award 1-star…45 year-old Spoofer slips his disc on the turntable!
(NOT EDITED) Fab disco hit from rather weird 80's disco band, Dead or Alive (He really is dead), "You Spin Me Round" was brought back to life by Glam-Rock-Spoofer, John Joe-Transformer (Real name Bert Bumpkins), as he/she twirled around the bedroom d…Tampa Bay Police Make 900 Arrests at The Super Bowl
TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Boom Boom News reported that Tampa Bay police officers arrested 900 Super Bowl fans, who ended up missing the big game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Kansas City Chiefs, due to plain and simple unadulterated st…The New York Yankees Sign a 17-Year-Old Pitcher Who Can Throw 107 MPH
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The manager of the New York Yankees, Aaron Boone, says he hasn’t been as happy as he is now since 2001, when he won $91,000 on Lucky Lady La Brea at the Santa Anita racetrack. The thing that has Boone so extremely…Republicans Censure Liz Cheney But Okay With Trump Inciting Riot
Planet Earth skidded to a stop, and started scratching its head. “What?†Planet Earth asked. “The Republicans have censured Liz Cheney for exercising her freedom of speech, but are okay with Donald Trump inciting the January 6th riot of the Capit…All Donald Trump Said Was, "Make Your Thinking Known."
Donald Trump’s lawyers are presenting his defense. Trump is innocent. Donald Trump wasn’t firing up a mob. Nah! No way! All Trump said was, “Make your thinking known.†Or: “Folks,†(referring to a mob of goons and killers defecating in the ha…CPSC Issues Advisory that Materials Used in MyPillow May Cause Delusions of Political Conspiracies
Washington DC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a statement on Friday, that it is looking into data that seems to indicate that prolonged exposure to MyPillow might cause those connected with its manufacture to have hallucinations and d…Marjorie Taylor Greene Set To Make Super Bowl Coin-Toss
Football fans across the country are waiting on tenterhooks tonight, after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell hinted in an interview with sports journalists that Sunday's Super Bowl pre-match coin-toss may be made by the Republican representative for Geo…Why can't all Parish council meetings be like this?
Following a recent meeting with Handforth Parish Council, another man has asked why his own Parish Council meetings aren't like that. Gary Johnson, a member of Chutney on the Fritz's Parish Council for four years, said: 'In the four years I have b…Football Show Commentator Kept Calling Tyrone Mings "Tyrone Minge"
There was much mirth and laughter during a TV football programme this afternoon, when the commentator on the Aston Villa versus Arsenal Premier League fixture kept referring to the home side's defender Tyrone Mings as 'Tyrone Minge', which was clearl…Trump And Biden Caught Singing Duet At Washington Karaoke Bar
BILLINGSGATE POST: During this morning's White House briefing, Press Secretary Jen Psaki confirmed the rumor that President Biden and Donald Trump were seen together at Little Miss Whiskey's Golden Dollar last night, with their arms around each other…All 3 Members of Pussy Riot Are Now Claiming Trump Grabbed Them By The Pussy
BOSTON â€" (Satire News) â€" The Bravo Network’s Andy Cohen, who knows everything about everyone, said that he recently interviewed the three members of the Russian heavy metal rock band, Pussy Riot. Andy talked to the band while eating dinner at Bost…Five Wonka Bars Contain Golden Vaccination Ticket
WONKAVILLE â€" The Wonka Corporation (a Unilever subsidiary) has announced that, in five of its Wonka Bars, there will be a Golden Ticket that allows the winner to receive a free Covid-19 vaccination. “There was a promotion like this a few years bac…Why Isn't The Super Bowl Known As The Superbowl?
When the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV at the Raymond James Stadium in Tampa on Sunday night, there won't be many people asking why the game has a two-word moniker, but that was exactly the question one man was…(NOT EDITED) After connecting via a medium, immortal author, P.G.Wodehouse, has again pecked on Jaggedone's wooden brain to offer his spiffing fans posh messages from the 'Other Side!' Bertie Wooster and his butler, Jeeves, reside in a honeycomb o…
Young Frankenstein Curse Claims Cloris Leachman
LOS ANGELES â€" In yet another example of the curse on the actors in the movie Young Frankenstein, Cloris Leachman has passed away at age 94. This follows the long list of untimely deaths of the 1974 movie’s stars. Starting with Marty Feldman in 198…Eric Trump Lets It Accidentally Slip, That His Daddy Is Planning on Escaping To Scotland
BROOKLYN â€" (Satire News) â€" Eric Trump, Donald’s second and least-favorite son, was in the Big Apple getting a pubic procedure redone. He was interviewed by Fox News reporter Maria Bartiromo, and asked how his daddy was doing. Eric replied that…News has reached us that Donald Trump's hairpiece has released a scathing, fly- on-the-wall attack on the much-missed American president. The hairpiece, an unheralded witness to any of Trump's tantrums, arguments and fleeting affairs, was paid an…
New Orleans is Moving This Year's Mardi Gras Celebration To Denver, Colorado
NEW ORLEANS â€" (Satire News) â€" The New Orleans City Council, with the approval of the Chamber of Commerce, has decided to move this year’s Mardi Gras celebration to Denver, Colorado. City manager Paxton W. Studsteen stated that the reason is due to…Man Made Mistake Of Spitting Whilst On Motorbike
A man out for a ride as a passenger on his wife's motorcycle at the weekend, has revealed how he made the catastrophic and very embarrassing mistake of attempting to spit whilst the vehicle was in motion. The incident happened last Sunday, as Moys…Connecticut Bans Butler Fights
HARTFORD â€" Over stiff opposition from the state Republican Party, Connecticut governor Ned Lamont today signed a bill banning the practice of Butler Fights. This is a practice in which the butler of one gentleman is put in a pit with the butler of an…An Undefeated Wrestler on The Harvard Women’s Team Has Been Banned
CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Word coming out of Harvard University, is that one of its star female wrestlers, Penny Saddlehorn, has just been banned. According to iNews reporter, Kitty Segovia, it appears that Saddlehorn, who had a…GOP Offers to “Uncensure†Cindy McCain if She Calls Off the “Space Lasers Causing Our Firesâ€
Phoenix- The Arizona chapter of the Republican Party has graciously offered to remove the censure handed out to the widow of former U.S.Senator John McCain for “being the widow of former U.S. Senator John McCainâ€. John McCain was also censured by…