Air Force Academy Forced to Shut Down After Kellyanne Conway Gets Removed from Advisory Board
Colorado Springs, Colorado - After the Biden Administration forced former Trump confidant and sidekick Kellyanne Conway from it's Board of Advisors, the faculty at the Air Force Academy said they have "no choice" but to "close our doors immediately a…Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Hateful Marjorie Taylor Greene
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" It is no secret that Marjorie Taylor Greene has become the most hated, despised, piece-of-shit politician in the entire United States, and there are lots of them! The National Whispers News Agency has just named Mar…Three Men Arrested For Molesting Three Giant Goldfish
WOODPECKER BAY, Florida â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News has revealed that three fishermen from Georgia have been arrested by members of the Woodpecker Bay Police Department. The three individuals, who work for the Diddling Dixie Sheetrock Company…Republicans Lose Minds Over Biden Vaccine Mandate
“Stop medical tyranny.†- Real medical tyranny advised people to drink Clorox and Lysol, but Republicans never said peep over that. So who needs a vaccine anyway? Well, who goes into a battle without a rifle? The Covid pandemic is a battle. A…Mar-A-Lago, Florida - Former President Donald Trump, who once declared global warming a Chinese Hoax, has apparently changed his mind according to a recent speech at a gathering of corporate fundraisers near his cult compound in Florida. One well…
A Man in Manhattan Is Attacked With A Bowling Ball
MANHATTAN â€" (Satire News) â€" The Alpha Beta News Agency reports that a 32-year-old Central Park security guard was attacked by a homeless man yielding a Dick Weber Commemorative bowling ball. Rudyard P. Festoon, says that he was sitting on a park b…Woman with dreadful taste in music has bought two new albums from the top ten
Mavis Davidson has always known that she has a bad taste in music, but for the first time in her life, she has actually bought two albums that are high in the music charts. 'Yes' said a clearly delighted Mavis 'I have the new albums by Steps and A…Russia Has a Sure-Fire Plan To Discourage Homosexuality
MOSCOW â€" (Satire News) â€" The Kremlin has announced that they will no longer tolerate the comingling between same-sexers. Stavros Nickavich, spokesperson for the Kremlin, has made it clear that Moscow is not San Francisco, and anyone who wants to k…Boris Johnson delivers Winston Churchill stirring interview on the Beeb with Hugh Pym!
After playing board games with OAP's in an OAP home dressed in a bib and plastic apron, Boris Johnson, UK, PM, refused to be filmed being spoon-fed because it would have damaged his drivelling image further! However, after the fab PR shoot promoti…Man on First Dates really is that dreadful
Self-appointed turner of stomachs Brad appeared on Channel Four's First Dates programme and really was as dreadful as he seemed. 'Usually' said series producer Tracey Heckingthwaite 'we have some editorial control as to what we show, but really wh…Like Garbo, Trump Speaks Now And Then
Like silent film actress Greta Garbo, Donald Trump speaks now and then. Of course, many would prefer he spoke neither now or then. But he thinks he has something to say. Unfortunately, Trump's most recent something to say praised Confederate General…Leaves planning to fall, sometime soon
It has been revealed, to no one's great shock or surprise, that leaves are planning to start falling, sometime soon. 'Yes' said leaf Mavis Davis 'we are planning to start falling in a couple of weeks, and some of us will still be in the trees in l…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Tabloid Today is reporting that in the history of the U.S. Congress, there has never been a meaner, more Naziesque, more hate-filled bitch or bastard than Marjorie Taylor Greene. TT’s Papaya Bamboo pointed out se…
Mitch McConnell is Suing The Makers of a Viagra-Like Pill, Up Up & Away!
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The Alpha Beta News Agency has just confirmed that Senator Mitch “Turtle Face†McConnell has just filed a lawsuit against the makers of the penis hardening, Viagra-like pill, Up, Up, and Away. The lawsuit claims…MAR-a-LAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" Insiders at Mar-a-Lago say that the Trumpster is still extremely upset at the fact that Russian President Putin referred to him as being nothing more than a submissive pussy. Trump, who has the personality of a sanitar…
KABUL, Afghanistan â€" (World Satire) â€" Afghanistan’s Taliban Government says that they will not put up with it’s citizens verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually attacking women. Taliban leader General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim, informed The San…
AUSTIN â€" (Satire News) â€" The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that Governor Greg Abbott has been issued a speeding ticket for going 17 miles over the allowed speed while sitting in his expensive wheel chair. ABNA reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, stated…
Researchers Are Conducting Research Studies to Study Research Studies
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Daily Max reports that an ongoing research study is researching research studies. Daily Max reporter Savannah Stiletto, spoke with one of the nation’s foremost research studiers, Wanda Jane McBudapest, 37, and l…Sportsmen can't tell politicians apart
The Whippet and Farrow pub was the site of some consternation today as Darts Player Ernie Heckingthwaite and Tiddlywinks player Sidney 'The Tinker' Davies couldn't tell the difference between Gavin Williamson, and that other bloke. 'Imagine my sur…Texas Is Crushing Voting Rights
First, it was women’s health rights, as in Roe v Wade, limiting women to receive a legal termination within the first 5 weeks of pregnancy. That was a Texas decision by men (Guess what?) who have never been or will ever be pregnant. Why did men e…Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Race Horse, “Queen Bee Be-Gone†Wins The Walla Walla Invitational Derby
WALLA WALLA, Washington â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Daily Max News Agency has just announced that a thoroughbred race horse belonging to soul music artist Beyonce and her hip hop singer husband Jay-Z has just won the coveted Walla Walla Invitational Derb…Texas And Taliban Women’s Rights
While the roaming Taliban men use their whips on women who are not fully covered, Texas is forcing women who are victims of rape or incest to give birth to unwanted pregnancies. While the Texas legislators have not okayed stoning women for pre-ma…Greg Abbott Says He’s Now Getting Over 90,000 Hate Messages, Instagrams, and Letters a Week!
RACIST RIVER, Louisiana â€" (Satire News) â€" The governor of Texas was in the little town of Racist River, Louisiana, where he was speaking before a gathering of the white, racist, extremist group known as The Proud Boys. The rally took place in a Wa…Anderson Cooper’s Sexual Secret Finally Comes Out
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle recently sat down and interviewed Anderson Cooper. She noted that he has the most beautiful eyes of anyone she has ever seen, man or woman. Miss Chipotle, also noted…Germany’s First All-Nude Female Soccer Team Wins It’s Season Opener
FRANKFURT, Germany â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that the world’s first all-nude women’s soccer team handily won their very first game. The unique soccer team known as The Frankfurt Frauleins easily defeated the all-m…The California Wildfires Are So Damn Hot That Fisherman Are Catching Fish That Are Already Cooked
MARILYN MONROE, California â€" (Satire News) â€" The hundreds of California wildfires continue to burn out of control. Ipso Facto News reports that meteorologists have verified that some of the fires including the Tinsel Town fire and the Avocado Vall…A Women’s College Softball Coach is Accused of Getting to Third Base With Her Second Baseman
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The NCAA is investigating a softball coach who is alleged to have carried on an affair with the team’s star player. Coach Nancy Frillmeister, 37, who has been the girl’s softball coach at Paul Revere Uni…Poland Officially Bans Polish Jokes
WARSAW, Poland â€" (Satire News) â€" After over a hundred years of having to put up with literally millions of Polish jokes, the people of Poland are glad that the Polish government has finally outlawed the dreaded humorisms. A spokesperson for Presid…An NCAA Football Mascot is Arrested For Being a Pervert
BURNT CORN, Alabama â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has just confirmed that the sports mascot for Johnny Reb College has been arrested. SBIM's Dottie Bazooka, stated that Clydell Bruce “Bubba†Fipp, 25, was arrested at his Pr…An 88-Year-Old Great-Grandmother is Regarded as The Octogenarian Eric Clapton
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana â€" (Satire News) â€" The Houston Daily Driller is reporting that AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has just named 88-year-old Greta Sexatini, the Eric Clapton of the Old Folks World. Sexatini, who resides with her g…