Met a girl at a party …

I met a girl at a party and she said, "Come outside and I'll show you a good time."So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 9.79 seconds.

The post Met a girl at a party … appeared first on noot! noot!.



Electrician's Clothing

An electrician's favourite article of clothing would be their shorts.

The post Electrician's Clothing appeared first on noot! noot!.



This Supermarket Joke

This Supermarket joke.Its an Aldi but a goodie.

The post This Supermarket Joke appeared first on noot! noot!.



What's Brown and lies beside the piano?

What's brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven's last movement.      

The post What's Brown and lies beside the piano? appeared first on noot! noot!.



Latin

Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That's my modus operandi.

The post Latin appeared first on noot! noot!.



DVD Player Keeps 'Sticking' Halfway Through Films

There's nothing like settling back on the settee with the wife, a nice drink, and a packet of salt 'n' vinegar crisps, and watching a DVD, but one man has told how his enjoyment of these televisual feasts has been ruined recently, after his DVD playe…

Dallas Cowboys Players 'Snorted Cocaine' At Halftime, Claims Fan

The Dallas Cowboys like to do it the hard way, and they did it the hard way against Atlanta last night, after coming back from a huge first quarter deficit of 20 points, and a 29-10 halftime reverse, to steal the game away from the Falcons 'at the de…

Philadelphia Eagles' Wentz Booed Off the Field By Cardboard Fans

In Sunday’s game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Los Angeles Rams, Eagles’ quarterback, Carson Wentz, was booed off the field after throwing his second interception of the game. While this was surprising, even more surprising was the fact th…

Manchester United Set To Sign Player With Foreign Name

There's been frantic activity in the football transfer market this afternnon, with several of the top Premier League clubs swelling their ranks with a whole host of skilful, talented, overpaid primadonnas, who will, no doubt, take those clubs for eve…

Global bank purchases 5000 washing machines to launder their filthy money!

(NOT EDITED) German electro giants, Miele, have just done a mega-deal with a giant, global bank. They've flogged and delivered one of their most sufficient washing machines to locations all over the planet. The bank who purchased the machines, req…

2020 Lindsey Graham: “Don’t Listen to 2016 Lindsey Graham He’s a Liar!”

Washington - Speaking before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Monday, Chairman Senator 2020 Lindsey Graham said he would push through a replacement for Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg immediately, not even pausing to commemorate the fallen…

New York City Prostitutes Are Angry That President Trump Has Cut Off Their Unemployment Benefits

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that there are lots of unhappy, unemployed streetwalkers in the Big Apple. It seems that all of the city’s prostitutes are no longer receiving their unemployment benefits, since President Trump…

Biden Casually Kills Off Two Thirds of Americans

Yesterday, in a speech honoring the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Joe Biden took the opportunity to criticize President Trump for his handling of the coronavirus. According to Mr. Biden, by the time he finished his speech, about 200 million Americans, or…

Dak Prescott and The Dallas Cowboys Silence The Boo Birds

DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Dallas Cowboys started the game looking more like the Dallas Cowgirls as they fumbled, jumbled, and stumbled as if they were playing on ice. Jerry Jones’ Cowboys acted as if the ball was covered with 30 weight motor…

Manchester United fan decides to watch football, so he goes to Liverpool!

Manchester United are supposed to be a giant English football team. However, many of their fans cannot believe they are actually playing the game they are supposed to be playing! Their players kick the ball, yes; they have eleven players on the pi…

Trump Moves To Create Tik Tok History Academies in Each State

Donald Trump announced today, with Bitsy Devoss by his side, a plan to create nationwide academies funded by Tik Tok, to teach what he claims to be "correct" American History. "Today, with the help of a Chinese-owned digital giant, we are announci…

Second Impeachment Trial For Donald Trump

Ouch! One more time! Donald Trump has secluded himself in the White House, stunned with the revelation that Democrats are mulling over the possibility of a second impeachment trial. So reported a White House source. Maybe even before Christma…

Deja Voodoo: Biden Names Kamala Harris For Supreme Court

BILLINGSGATE POST: With the news that Kamala “Breath” Harris had supplanted him for top billing on the Democrat Presidential ticket, Joe Biden returned the favor by choosing her to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the Supreme Court. To put this in…

Republicans Are Getting Gosh, Gee Nervous

White House Press Secretary Brian Morgenstern has had his red bullfighter’s cape in hand, and has been flashing it back and forth. How dare the Democrats stop laying down dead, and use politics to fight back. Who do they think they are? Republicans?…

A Kentucky Thoroughbred Race Horse Amazingly Gives Birth to Triplets

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The world of thoroughbred racing has been turned upside down as news out of Louisville says that a race horse has given birth to triplets. The odds of a mare having twins is amazing, but giving birth to tri…

Man Spent Afternoon Listening To Linton Kwesi Johnson

A man who read of a possible change in the way words in the English language are spelt, has told of how he dreamt up another similar scheme after spending yesterday afternoon listening to the Jamaican reggae poet, Linton Kwesi Johnson. A story on…

President Trump Misunderstood The Message Of American History X

Experts analyzing President Donald Trump's tenure in the White House have come to the unanimous conclusion that the whole four years spent leading the country were an unprecedented presidential disaster. But everybody knows that. Even a blind m…

Three States Have Banned Gender Reveal Parties

SAN FRANCISCO â€" (Satire News) - The National Department of Forestry has just issued a mandate that, effective immediately, the inconsiderate practice of having gender reveal parties outside using fireworks will be prohibited. The Pismo Beach Purpo…

Bernie Sanders Is Set to Accept Secretary of State Position

Bernie Sanders has decided to accept Joseph Biden's offer to become secretary of state in the Biden administration, making him the public figure to the world, Sanders said, Friday. The accord between the two leading figures of the Democratic Party…

Donald Trump To Pick Ivanka For Supreme Court

Leaked to the press today by a White House consigliere, (looking for early retirement) Donald Trump decided to select daughter Ivanka for the Supreme Court vacancy created with the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Tiffany, daughter number two…

Music is the devil's only friend

A new scientific study has found that listening to music may have a negative impact on creativity, behavior and mental stability. It contradicts the idea that music is soothing to the mind and helps creativity. The researchers showed, the nega…

Man Considering Future In Landscape Gardening

A man who saw his back garden become a lake as it was submerged during a torrential downpour of rain over the weekend, has said he is considering his future employment prospects, and may decide to venture into the world of landscape gardening. Moy…

Manchester United Fans' Booing Could Be Heard At Old Trafford

It was a case of 'more of the same' for disgruntled Manchester United fans yesterday, as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's men kicked off the season in the worst possible way with a 3-1 home drubbing by unfancied Crystal Palace at Old Trafford. And the tortu…

Kanye West Has Been Taken To A Funny Farm (Finally!)

POMONA, CALIFORNIA â€" (Satire News) â€" Inside Edition has reported that the man known as Mr. Kim Kardashian has finally been picked up and taken out to a local funny farm. Kanye West, who is an entertainer as well as a self-proclaimed prophet, has t…

Chicharito Wants David Beckham to Rejoin The Los Angeles Galaxy

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" NBC Sports is reporting that soccer superstar Javier Hernandez, better known as Chicharito (the Little Pea), wants David Beckham to join him on his old team, the Los Angeles Galaxy. The 45-year-old Beckham played fo…

Tsunami hits Hartlepool, UK

(NOT EDITED) Hartlepool, UK, is a town parked on the North Sea coast which nobody has ever heard of apart from 'Hartlepool-ians'. However, last night the global tabloid press sent their reporters there, with drones, because it was reported a massive…

Burma earning praise from human rights activists over humane genocide

The government of Myanmar is earning positive recognition from human rights activists and the United Nations for its humane and cruelty free genocide of the Rohingya people. It’s not just for how they are treating minority groups chosen to be liquida…

Ginsburg To Be Stuffed And Mounted On Trigger In Branson Museum

BILLINGSGATE POST: The most famous dead horse in the world will be joined by Ruth Bader Ginsburg at a museum in Branson, Missouri, where Roy Rogers’ faithful steed Trigger is displayed. Trigger was a horse, of course. Like Ginsburg, who graduated…

Trump To Veto Gareth Bale Move

Just when Tottenham Hotspur fans thought it was safe to breathe again, and count Real Madrid's wantaway star, Gareth Bale, as one of their own, US president Donald Trump has put the skids under the deal, saying "it cannot happen". Bale, who played…

The Latest Right Coast Revue Poll Shows Most Americans Consider Trump, McConnell, and Graham Low-Life Skum

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Ashburn Wasabi, with The Right Coast Revue, writes that the political phrase “Playing Politics” has never been more appropriate than it is today with the undisputed “King of Hatred” who sits in the White House, at lea…

Dimitar Danchev Wins the parytpoker WPTWOC Turbo Championship ($188,316)

Dimitar Danchev

Dimitar Danchev agreed to a three-way deal before shipping the title.



WCOOP 2020 Day 22: The WCOOP Main Events are Underway!

WCOOP on PokerNews

Six WCOOP Main Events kicked off last night. Check out all the details about WCOOP's final Sunday on PokerNews.



Sunday Briefing: Dominik Nitsche Among the Big Winners

Dominik Nitsche

Check out the biggest online poker tournament winners from the action on September 20.



Christopher Fitzgerald Bags Day 1b Chip Lead in the WPTWOC $25,500 Super High Roller Championship

Christopher Fitzgerald

Day 1b chip leader Christopher Fitzgerald is just behind Pascal Hartmann heading to Day 2.



888poker Millions Superstorm: Romania's "777ibi" Wins the Sunday Special ($17,186)

888poker Millions Superstorm

Learn how a pair of Romanian players were the biggest winners in the 888Millions Superstorm over the weekend.



$1,100 Buy-In, $100K GTD Midway Poker Tour Coming to Chicagoland October 2-4

Midway Poker Tour

There will be live streams every day of the inaugural Midway Poker Tour stop.



Pascal Hartmann Leads WPTWOC $25K Super High Roller After Day 1A

Pascal Hartmann

Pascal Hartmann is the man to catch after Day 1A of the WPTWOC $25K Super High Roller.



WCOOP 2020 Day 21: "luelue399" Wins WCOOP-63-H: $2,100 NLHE Thursday Thrill SE

2020 WCOOP at PokerStars

The three WCOOP Main Events with more than $13 Million in guarantees kickoff at PokerStars on Sunday, Sept. 20, 2020.



Five Key Tips for Success by WCOOP Main Event Champion Steven "SvZff" van Zadelhoff

Steven van Zadelhoff

The WCOOP Main Event starts today! Don't miss these five key tips from 2017 champion Steven "SvZff" van Zadelhoff.



WPT GTO Trainer Hands of the Week: Playing Against a Tough Button

WPT GTO Trainer Hands of the Week: Playing Against a Tough Button

Take a look at this preflop spot with the WPT GTO Trainer



Watch Cards-Up Twitch Coverage From the PokerStars WCOOP

2020 WCOOP

Find out more about PokerStars' WCOOP Twitch coverage .



2009 November Niner Darvin Moon Reportedly Dead at 56

Darvin Moon made the WSOP Main Event final table in 2009.

Moon reportedly died from complications after surgery.



Plaintiff's Counsel Maurice "Mac" VerStandig Reflects on the Mike Postle Litigation

Maurice "Mac" VerStandig

Maurice "Mac" VerStandig explains some details surrounding the recent settlement.



2020 PokerStars PACOOP Kicks Off Today; 50 Events & $1.5M Gtd.

PokerStars PACOOP 2020

Check out the full schedule for the upcoming PokerStars PACOOP running from Sept. 19 to Oct. 5.



The Muck: Kuraitis, Stones Lash Out After Twitter Silence

The Stones Twitter account has been firing lasers in the days following the conclusion of the court case.

Stones TD Justin Kuraitis has been slinging flames on Twitter.



Playing a Draw Multiway Can Be a Really Tough Spot

Jonathan Little

Jonathan Little shares more NLH tournament strategies in his new PokerNews column.



Bracelet Winner Daniel "centrfieldr23" Lupo Discusses partypoker US Network Win

Daniel

Get to know the New Jersey family man and architect who thrives playing poker.



Weekend Preview: GGMasters GGSOP Edition, Mini Mega Deep, and WPT Weekender

The Weekend Preview

Low buy-in, high-value MTTs take place at GGPoker, 888poker, and partypoker this weekend.



Leaked Term Sheet Reveals Details Regarding Stones/Kuraitis Settlement; Plaintiffs Paid $40,000

Stones Legal Update

Mike Postle was specifically excluded from the settlement.



Have You Got Your 888poker Millions Superstorm Main Event Ticket Yet?

888poker Millions Superstorm Superstorm

Learn how you can play in the $1 million guaranteed Superstorm for FREE at 888poker.



Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time - Gameplay Launch Trailer

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time - Gameplay Launch Trailer
This time, It's About Time!⏰

DIRT 5 | Cape Town Stadium Racing | Xbox One X|S, PS5

DIRT 5 | Cape Town Stadium Racing | Xbox One X|S, PS5


Dirt 5 Next-Gen Interview: Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 5, 120fps + Much More - PAX x EGX 2020!

Dirt 5 Next-Gen Interview: Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 5, 120fps + Much More - PAX x EGX 2020!


Fairy Town Tileset | RPG Maker MZ/MV

Fairy Town Tileset | RPG Maker MZ/MV


The latest Demon Souls footage is super-epic

The latest Demon Souls footage is super-epic
Can we get the game now...pretty please?

Sony teases a new God of War with a familiar phrase

Sony teases a new God of War with a familiar phrase
"Ragnarok is coming".

Riley Hawk | Behind The Scenes Tony Hawk's™ Pro Skater™ 1 and 2

Riley Hawk | Behind The Scenes Tony Hawk's™ Pro Skater™ 1 and 2


Totally Reliable Delivery Service - New Event "Windy Wings" | Out Now on Epic Games Store

Totally Reliable Delivery Service - New Event


PS5 controllers will cost you 70 bucks

PS5 controllers will cost you 70 bucks
Just like the games themselves.

DIRT 5 Gameplay | Racing Through a Morocco Sandstorm! | Xbox Series X, PS5

DIRT 5 Gameplay | Racing Through a Morocco Sandstorm! | Xbox Series X, PS5


PS5 will launch mid-November and it will be priced at $499

PS5 will launch mid-November and it will be priced at $499
Similar price as the new Xbox, as expected.

Surviving the Aftermath - Update 10: Uncharted Lands Trailer

Surviving the Aftermath - Update 10: Uncharted Lands Trailer


DIRT 5 | Xbox Series S | Official Next-Gen Gameplay

DIRT 5 | Xbox Series S | Official Next-Gen Gameplay


Hogwarts Legacy – Official 4K Reveal Trailer

Hogwarts Legacy – Official 4K Reveal Trailer


Donkey Kong Country 2 is finally coming to Nintendo Switch

Donkey Kong Country 2 is finally coming to Nintendo Switch
September 23 it is!

Jetzt herunterladen! | Gameplay-Video #3

Jetzt herunterladen! | Gameplay-Video #3


Wasteland 3 Review

Wasteland 3 Review
Games Xtreme delves deep into the snowy wastes of Colorado in Wasteland 3

Doom 64 is getting a re-release on Nintendo Switch and PC

Doom 64 is getting a re-release on Nintendo Switch and PC
We said it so many times before, but this is a real blast from the past!

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout Review

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout Review
We get our party on in Mediatonic's popular multiplayer party game Fall Guys!

CD Projekt Red will introduce us to the gangs of Cyberpunk 2077 this week

CD Projekt Red will introduce us to the gangs of Cyberpunk 2077 this week
The awesomeness will be real, I can feel it.

The Lost Delinquents of Rollings High – Kickstarter Demo

The Lost Delinquents of Rollings High is a very weird Lovecraft inspired Anime-styled visual novel where an oddball group of high-schoolers try to figure out the secrets of their town before graduation.

In The Lost Delinquents of Rollings High you take on the role of Marty, a high-school boy who lives in an isolated town somewhere in the mountains in the 1980s. It seems like … Read More



Project CARS GO – Beta Sign Up (iOS & Android)

Project CARS GO is bringing Slightly Mad Studio's popular Project CARS series to iOS and Android devices, with an aim to maintain some of the realism while making the game accessible to touch screen devices.

You're never going to manage to play a full racing simulation game on a touch screen device, so Project CARS GO is opting for a different method. It will feature … Read More



EXPOSURE – Beta Demo

EXPOSURE is a very stylish dodge 'em up that plays a little like a pacifist version of Ikaruga as you switch colors to allow you to camouflage yourself on top of differently colored objects and avoid predators.

In EXPOSURE you took control of a defenseless little creature that avoids predators by using adaptive camouflage. You can move around the screen as in a top-down twin-stick … Read More



Vital Signs – Prototype Download

Vital Signs is a tense physics-based zero gravity Sci-Fi horror adventure where a little droid uses slumbering human crewmembers as key-cards as it tries to escort them to safety.

Currently in development by a group of developers from Free Lives (creators of Broforce and GORN), in Vital Signs you control a hard working little medical droid whose ship has just been damaged by a … Read More



Ultimate ADOM: Caverns of Chaos – Alpha Sign Up

Ultimate ADOM: Caverns of Chaos is a sequel to the classic 1994 ADOM roguelike, which aims to deliver a modern reimagining of the genre while still retaining the original's hardcore roguelike dungeon crawling gameplay.

Roguelike is a term that gets thrown about with abandon nowadays, but there was a time when it meant a very specific type of game. Ultimate ADOM: Caverns of Chaos looks … Read More



VACUULUS – Alpha Demo

VACUULUS is a very intense first person horror game where you attempt to clean up your messy house while being stalked by a huge vacuum cleaner monster.

In VACUULUS you take on the role of a young boy who would rather play video games than tidy up after himself (we've all been there). However his slobbish behaviour hasn't just annoyed his mother, it's attracted the … Read More



Terra Nil – Beta Download

Terra Nil is a beautiful and chilled out building strategy game where you attempt to reconstruct the ecosystem of a ravaged and barren environment.

While most Sim City-esque building/management games are about squeezing resources out of and squeezing buildings into an untouched environment, your goal in Terra Nil is pretty much the opposite. In each level of the game you're presented with a totally … Read More



Smash Ball – Alpha Sign Up

Smash Ball is a fast paced arena sport game where customizable robots whack a weaponized ball around a futuristic tennis court.

Playable in 1v1 or 2v2 multiplayer, Smash Ball is a futuristic ball sport that plays a little like Windjammers or Tennis. In the game each player takes control of a robot and attempts to outscore their opponent by whacking the ball past them into … Read More



You Suck at Parking – Alpha Demo

You Suck at Parking aims to be the world's most extreme parking game as you go through all manner of crazy obstacle courses to safely park your vehicles.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the closed Alpha sign up, in each level of You Suck at Parking your aim is to park your car. Sounds easy? The actual parking often is, but getting … Read More



Gravewood High – Alpha Download

Gravewood High is a tense first person stealth horror puzzle adventure where you attempt to escape from an ever-shifting school that's guarded by a freaky demonic headteacher.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the closed Alpha sign upGravewood High is a stealth horror adventure that's a little like Hello Neighbor, but with more of a focus on puzzle solving, randomized environments … Read More



Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War – Open Alpha (PS4)

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War's open Alpha event starts today on PS4 and you can pre-download it now if you want to jump in right when it starts.

The Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War open Alpha launches today at 7pm CEST and will run until September 20th. It's available only on PS4 and the download will be a chunky 25GB, … Read More



22 Racing Series: RTS-Racing – Alpha Demo

22 Racing Series: RTS-Racing is a gravity-defying futuristic racing game where you compete to own sections of the track and upgrade your vehicle while you race.

22 Racing Series brings an element of real-time strategy to real-time racing as you compete for resources (track ownership) and upgrade your vehicle on-the-fly. The core racing gameplay is a little like Wipeout or F-Zero, with you racing … Read More



MECHBLAZE – Alpha Demo

MECHBLAZE is a bombastic 2D mech combat game that draws inspiration from the Assault Suit (Cybernator) series as you blast your way through hordes of invading metallic monstrosities.

Taking place in the same "Astro Saga" universe as the rest of developer ASTRO PORT's games (including Supercharged Robot VULKAISER, WITCH-BOT MEGLILO and GIGANTIC ARMY), MECHBLAZE is a heavy-weight side-scrolling run-n-gun mech shooter inspired … Read More



Morbid: The Seven Acolytes – Beta Sign Up

Morbid: The Seven Acolytes is a Souls-like horrorpunk action RPG set in a dark fantasy world inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft and David Cronenburg.

In Morbid: The Seven Acolytes you step into the shoes of the last surviving "Striver of Dibrom" – a powerful warrior who has been training all her life to defeat the Seven Acolytes (powerful beings possessed by malevolent entities). … Read More



Jack Move – Beta Demo

Jack Move is a beautifully animated cyberpunk RPG adventure with tactical turn-based battles where you hack your enemies in cyberspace.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer in March last year, Jack Move is a cyberpunk RPG adventure that follows a vigilante hacker as she battles a nefarious organisation that's kidnapped her estranged father and is trying to steal his research. After his wife's death … Read More



Rushdown Revolt – Open Alpha

Rushdown Revolt is now in open Alpha, so everyone can jump in for some spectacle-filled combo-centric platform fighting fun.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the Alpha sign up, Rushdown Revolt is a 1v1 multiplayer platform fighter that delivers a more skill based and combo focused take on the genre. The current Alpha build is essentially a feature complete version of the game, … Read More



Buildings Have Feelings Too – Beta Sign Up

Buildings Have Feelings Too is a delightful looking new city management game where the buildings are alive and have their own aspirations, hopes and fears.

In Buildings Have Feelings Too you become an old building called The Halfway Hotel, who along with their ragtag group of building friends, were a founding part of their city. You and your friends have managed to help bring industry, … Read More



Rangok Skies – Beta Demo

Rangok Skies is a spectacle-filled vertically scrolling arcade shoot 'em up that delivers a real feast of the eyes as you battle swarms of enemies and huge bosses in a world that's plunged into chaos.

Drawing inspiration from arcade classics like DoDonPachi, Gunbird and Strikers 1945, Rangok Skies blends bullet hell with classic old school arcade shoot 'em up action. It takes place long … Read More



Sayri: The Beginning – Beta Demo

Sayri: The Beginning is a beautiful non-combative open world third person puzzle platforming adventure which follows an alien that crashlands on a new world and forms friendships that prove invaluable.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the Alpha Sign Up Sayri: The Beginning is a puzzle platforming adventure that focuses on friendship rather than combat. In the game you take on the role of … Read More



Dark Stone: The Lightseeker – Beta Sign Up

Dark Stone: The Lightseeker is a very stylish single-player deck-building roguelike game where you recruit a team of fighters as you journey through a land of eternal darkness.

Currently in development by Jinny Lab Inc., Dark Stone: The Lightseeker is a deck-building roguelike game set in a land that's been cast into eternal darkness by a powerful artifact known as the Dark Stone. With the … Read More



SCP: Project Unreal – Alpha Download

SCP: Project Unreal is a fan made remake of SCP: Containment Breach in Unreal Engine 4, which sees you attempting to escape from an SCP facility where some of the test subjects are on the loose!

The current build of SCP: Project Unreal is very early in development but it's already a very tense and freaky experience where death is just a blink away. It … Read More



Gestalt: Steam & Cinder – Pre-Alpha Demo

Gestalt: Steam & Cinder is a beautifully animated narrative-driven 2D action platforming RPG where you shape your fate in a handcrafted steampunk world.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the Alpha sign up last month, Gestalt: Steam & Cinder is a narrative driven 2D action RPG that takes place in a lore-rich steampunk word. You take on the role of Aletheia, a blade for … Read More



Hoser Hockey – Beta Sign Up

Hoser Hockey is an arcade hockey game that's playable with up to eight players, where teams of cartoony characters face off on the frozen lakes of Canada.

Playable with up to eight players online via dedicated servers or locally, Hoser Hockey is a fast paced arcade hockey game that injects a little cartoony fun into the proceedings. In the game you'll be able to customize … Read More



Infernax – Alpha Demo

Infernax is a beautifully animated and delightfully brutal Castlevania inspired retro action adventure where a young Duke returns from a violent crusade to find his land in the grip of darkness.

In Infernax you take on the role of Alcedor, a duke whose land is being overrun by grotesque monsters that have been unleashed by a mysterious book of great power. You must now set … Read More



PHOGS! – Beta Demo

PHOGS! is a delightful physics based puzzle platforming adventure where a couple of conjoined dogs with a stretchy belly make their way through a world full or whimsical oddity.

In PHOGS! you control a couple of conjoined dogs, using a separate analog stick to move each one. They can grab objects with their teeth and they can stretch their tummy to enormous lengths which comes … Read More



Paradise Lost – Beta Demo

Paradise Lost is a beautiful, but unsettling first person adventure where you search for a secret Nazi bunker in a devastated world where World War II never ended.

In Paradise Lost you take on the role of a 12 year old child who is exploring the ruins of an old train station in a post-nuclear Polish wasteland that's been ravaged by a World War II … Read More



Inkulinati – Alpha Demo

Inkulinati is a very stylish hand drawn 2D turn-based strategy game where characters do battle within the pages of beautifully illustrated medieval books.

Currently in development by Yaza Gamer, Inkulinati delivers small-scale and highly tactical turn-based battles between beautifully animated illustrated medieval armies. In the game you take on the role of a Master of the Living Ink and challenge other Masters to tactical battles … Read More



Unpacking – Alpha Demo

Unpacking is a very satisfying zen puzzle game where you unpack moving boxes and find the correct places for all your stuff.

In Unpacking your character moves into eight new homes over the course of their lives. You're never explicitly told a story and you never see your character, but you get a sense of who they are and their lives as you unpack the … Read More



Trash Sailors – Beta Demo

Trash Sailors is a wonderfully chaotic hand drawn sailing survival game for 1 to 4 players, where you attempt to keep your trashy raft afloat in seriously hazardous waters.

Currently in development by fluckyMachine (creators of Escape Doodland), Trash Sailors is a beautifully drawn sailing survival adventure where you try to keep your raft afloat in a world that's been flooded by a hugs … Read More



Finders, Keepers – Alpha Demo

Finders, Keepers is an eerie and atmospheric narrative-driven adventure that plays out via a Tinder-esque smartphone app as you hike with our friend in a mysterious ancient woodland.

In Finders, Keepers you're out with a good friend of yours on a walk through an ancient woodland during the summer solstice. It's an interesting place, with mysterious landmarks and beautiful scenery, but you're a little … Read More



Moonton Present's Sweet Crossing, Moonton's First Snake.io Casual Game

Tired of having a lose streak in ML's ranked mode? Then try Sweet Crossing now. Moonton's Mobile Legends: Bang Bang was a huge success of being the best MOBA (Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) on both Android and Ios, making it one of the most competitive Esports in the Philippines. During this quarantine, Moonton unexpectedly released a casual yet relaxing game for android, the Sweet Crossing: Snake io. This game is already released on Play Store.

Sweet Crossing has over a million downloads, the game just released weeks ago (September 4, 2020) and surprisingly it mage a huge hit. If you open Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, you can see the game, and after clicking you will be redirected to Play Store.

Features

Sweet Crossing is only 44mb of size, it only requires android 4.1 and up, and it is totally free of charge. The game will let you play with simple joystick controls and a smooth gaming experience. You can choose from adorable animal characters and a bunch of cute skins.

The game currently has no lag issues, so you can play it smoothly in your phone, you grow by eating sweets that are not hard to find, you might find the game competitive since it is an io game. While playing Sweet Crossing , you should go look for sweet, to buff up and get a higher score. Just like Slither io, you need to get enemies to crash them into you, and then swallowing their remains. The bigger the animal crashing to you, the higher score you get.

Just like Mobile Legends: Bang Bang you can unlock adorable skins that you can use in the game. A game to remove your boredom and tiredness. If you are having troubles with your connections, you can play Sweet Crossing even without network. The game is very friendly to players and has a fair game pace. The graphics is really cool and If find it very friendly for players who have poor eyesight. The game features battery saving and HFR mode, so it won't take much of your battery.

It is now available on Google Play and iOS.


Digital Esports Platform "KALARO" launches in October

Gets a boosts from top corporate partners, Kalaro a digital esports platform, will be launching on October 12, 2020. It will be Asia's fist fully-integrated end-to-end Esports online platform that was created by an internationally-experienced team of Filipino tech experts.

(L-R) Top: Jun D. Lasco, Founder & CEO; David Nithyananthan, Co-Founder, Renalyn David, Director
Bottom: Coleen G. Lasco, Director; Marvin A. Alberto, President of Pnex Int'l Corporation; Arlene S. Jimenez, Director

The-AsiaGroup.com Inc. officially announced also its alliances from top corporate brands  namely National Computer Systems (NCS) of Singapore, ERNI from Switzerland, and local companies Union Bank of the Philippines, DragonPay, GCash and Globe Labs.

On its launch in October, the nationwide online sign-up will be made available to Esports fans and players. Interested gamers can join Kalaro using their mobile number, Facebook, Twitch, Razer, or Google accounts.

"We are thrilled to finally unveil Kalaro to be the catalyst in rapidly developing world-class Filipino Esports talents. With the incredible support we are getting from our partners and the gaming community, we're excited to realize the synergy Kalaro will create among corporate brands and more than 30+ million Esports enthusiasts in the Philippines," said Renalyn B. David, Board of Directors Member of The-AsiaGroup.com Inc./ Pnex Int'l Corporation.

NCS handles the technology cloud infrastructure to ensure that Kalaro is globally available to all Filipinos 24/7. They also handle the various integration requirements of Kalaro so that it can connect online to all other apps like Facebook, GCash, DragonPay, Twitch, and other 3rd-party systems.

On the other hand, ERNI is responsible for the design of the User Interface (UI) and overall User Experience (UX); translating these designs into actual working systems for Kalaro users to enjoy. Together with the in-house tech experts of The-AsiaGroup.com, Kalaro has achieved the global standards in software (app) design and development.

"Kalaro was able to capture the aspirations of all the eSports stakeholders and present it in a creatively designed User Interface (UI) which results in a fun, easy to use and with a comprehensive set of features fitting to the demands of tech-savvy millennials and Gen Zs," said David Nithyananthan, Co-Founder of The-AsiaGroup.com Inc./Pnex Int'l Corporation.

The digital platform also paves the way for corporate brands to collaborate with Kalaro's stakeholders. They can have storefronts inside Kalaro to enable them to promote and sell their products online to Kalaro users. Brands can also sponsor gamers, streamers, teams and leagues. Kalaro members can electronically transact 24/7 anywhere around the globe. This e-wallet feature of Kalaro is powered by Union Bank of the Philippines, DragonPay, GCash, and Globe Labs.

On its launch in October, the nationwide online sign-up will be made available to Esports fans and players. Interested gamers can join Kalaro using their mobile number, Facebook, Twitch, Razer, or Google accounts.

"We at Pnex Int'l Corporation are both proud and excited to launch our Esports platform, initially, to the Filipino gaming community. The more than 30 million Filipino gamers are a huge market and Kalaro will surely be their gaming companion. Our team has done an incredible job in creating a world-class product we Filipinos can all be very proud of," said Marvin Alberto, President of Pnex Int'l Corporation.

The timeliness of Kalaro seems to be in perfect alignment with the need to boost the Philippine economy. Kalaro can mobilize the 30+ million Filipinos gamers market for some economic activities which would give jobs to corporate brands who will focus on this market segment, create work-from-home opportunities for streamers & gamers, spark some consumer spending and at the same time hone future Esports world champions!


How to Not Get Caught in Among Us, an Impostor Guide

Among us has been one of the most trending games today, yet Among Us isn't actually a new game, it was released on 2018 by Innersloth (the developers of Henry Stickmin). Among Us is like a Space Version of Mafia, where you can be a secretive killer or a useful crew . You can play Among Us with your friends or a random group online. Among Us is a game where you might lose your friends, because you will learn how to be a compelling liar, and lying might be necessary if you are the Impostor. Being an Impostor is being the most essential person on the game.

Best Time to Sabotage

This might be one of the problems that Impostors encounter. The Impostor should go first to their designated fake tasks, while standing near fake tasks, sabotage the Comms or the O2, then secretly blend with the crew and fake that you are helping them fix the sabotaged area. Also make sure that when you vent, there are no one near.

Make a Clean Kill

Making a Clean Kill might be hard to players that are new to Among Us. If you ever feel free from everyone and when the coast is clear, then it's time to eliminate them, go near an innocent crew and click kill to eliminate them, the next step is to vent and always make sure that the coast is clear before you unvent.

The crew you eliminated will become a ghost that can spectate everyone, but don't worry, other crews will not hear their screaming voices on the in game chat. It's either the crew will be reported or an emergency meeting will be started, at this time, it will be announced to everyone, that the traitor is active. Join their in game chat, the simplest way to cleanse your suspicious activity is by asking the where and who. Don't start blaming until innocent crew starts to blame each other. Keep in mind that you cannot eliminate them fast, as their is a long cooldown of the kill button, hosts decides the kill time, voting time, etc.

Venting Guide

After you make a kill it will be suspicious if someone sees you leave a room and then find a body, you will be the suspect if this happens. However, you can jump on vents and stay their until they find the body, crews won't be able to know you are there and then you can blend in back with the crew.

Watch out before you unvent, impostor's are usually caught unventing, so make sure you unvent on a place where crew's don't usually go.

Act Innocent while Voting

A body is found or the emergency button is pressed, at this time you will need to vote someone so you can eliminate them. While voting you can open the chat button. Just act innocent and blend with their accusations to other innocent crews. Never vote first, that will make you even more suspicious, wait for the perfect timing and then vote.


How to Redeem FREE Watch Dogs Legion from NVIDIA GeForce RTX 30 Series Card

The new graphics card from NVIDIA finally landed globally, and NVIDIA lined up an bundled AAA title together with these graphics card. If you purchase any of the GeForce RTX 30 Series, you'll get a free PC Digital Download of Watch Dogs Legion and in-game items.

Note: This guide will only work for graphics card that are purchased from the Philippines. Game code is only offered when you purchase the qualifying graphics card from September 17, 2020 until October 29, 2020 or while supplies last.

Qualified NVIDIA Graphics Card

Here are the complete list of qualified graphics card that can redeem the FREE games with any brand.

  • GeForce RTX 3090 / GeForce RTX 3090 Desktop
  • GeForce RTX 3080 / GeForce RTX 3080 Desktop
  • GeForce RTX 3070 / GeForce RTX 3070 Desktop

How to Get the FREE Watch Dogs Legion Code

First, you need to register your graphics card with the participating brands. You need a photo of the Serial Number and its invoice to get a redeem code. Below are the list of brand redeem page where you can register your RTX 30 series graphics card.

Brand Registration Page
AORUS https://ph.aorus.com/event-detail.php?i=1678
GALAX http://www.galax.com/en/webforms/index/index/id/117/
Inno3D http://www.inno3d.com/redemption_detail.php?refid=106
MSI https://www.msi.com/Promotion/watch-dogs-legion
Zotac https://www.zotac.com/ph/page/the-geforce-rtx-30-series-bundle
Palit ???
ASUS ???

You only need to enter the Serial Number, Country, Purchase Date, photo copy of Serial Number and Invoice. Make sure to fill up the name and email, this is where you'll get the code for the game.

How to Redeem the Code

To redeem the free games, you need to install the Graphics card into your PC.

Update to the latest driver and latest version of GeForce Experience. It should be v3.18 or higher.

Open GeForce Experience app then login your NVIDIA account.

At the top right corner, go to Account > Redeem.

The code will expired on November 30, 2020 or while supplies last. So make sure to redeem the code once you've obtained it.


PlayStation 5 Standard and Digital Edition Priced at $499 and $399 (With Specs)

Sony has announced the official retail price of its next gen PlayStation during the digital showcase event early this morning. As expected, the price is closed to XBOX Series X priced and the other variant with the same specs except for Blu-ray disc is less $100. The PlayStation 5 Standard Edition (Based) are priced at $499 (PHP 24,155), while the PlayStation 5 Digital Edition priced at $399 (PHP 19,300).

It will be available on the United States, Japan, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, and South Korea on November 12 and to the rest of the world on November 19th.

However, the official price is solely for United States and it doesn't include taxes and shipping fees for other country. The price will be different when officially landed in the Philippines. But, when you order this console online like in Amazon or eBay and shipped to the Philippines, our estimate total cost will be PHP 30,170 for Standard Edition and PHP 24,335 for Digital Edition including Duty and VAT. That's if you're lucky enough to get a stock during the release date because of the hype ongoing with the new console.

Sample breakdown when ordering the product from United States to the Philippines.

PlayStation 5 (Standard Edition)

  • Based Price: PHP 24,155 ($499)
  • Estimated Duty & VAT: PHP 2,924
  • Shipping Fee: PHP 3,091
  • Total: PHP 30,170

PlayStation 5 (Digital Edition)

  • Based Price: PHP 19,300 ($399)
  • Estimated Duty & VAT: PHP 2,342
  • Shipping Fee: PHP 2,693
  • Total: PHP 24,335

Note, the prices above didn't include storage fee from custom and other miscellaneous.

PlayStation 5 Specification

Also, there are rumored specs circulating online on what supposed to be the specification of PlayStation 5. Here are the specs similar to the upcoming Radeon RX 6000 series graphics card.

  • CPU: x86-64-AMD Ryzen "Zen 2," 8 Cores / 16 Threads, Variable frequency, up to 3.5 GHz
  • GPU: AMD Radeon RDNA 2-based graphics engine, Ray Tracing Acceleration, Variable frequency, up to 2.23 GHz (10.3 TFLOPS)
  • System Memory: GDDR6 16 GB, 448 GB/s Bandwidth
  • SSD: 825 GB, 5.5GB/s Read Bandwidth (Raw – PCIe 4.0)
  • PS5 Game Disc: Ultra HD Blu-ray, up to 100GB/disc
  • Video Out: Support of 4K 120Hz TVs, 8K TVs, VRR (specified by HDMI ver.2.1)
  • Audio: "Tempest" 3D AudioTech

Are you ordering this new PlayStation 5 abroad? or you'll be waiting for the official release in the Philippines. Let us know in the comment section.


PlayStation 5 teases the Black Version for their upcoming Showcase Event, Sept 16

Sony just announced an upcoming showcase event next week for their next-gen console, PlayStation 5. Surprisingly, the promo image included in the announcement teases us the Black Version of the console, making us curious – if they changed their mind and include this variant during the launch this year.

UPDATE as of September 12, 2020 at 11:18PM: Unfortunately, the teases promo image is not a Black variant after all. It is just a shadow, we tried increasing the brightness in Photoshop and it shows the original white version.

Sony wants to give their fans one more look at some of the great games that will be coming to the PS5 launch. The digital showcase event will be lasts for about 40 minutes and features updates on the latest titles from Worldwide Studious and their world-class development partners.

The event will be lived on Twitch or YouTube next week, Wednesday, September 16 at 1pm PDT. In the Philippines, that's Thursday, September 17 at 4:00AM (Manila, Philippine Time).


PS5 Inside the Box, Here's What You Get

The next-gen Playstation (PS5) are just few months away, but Sony is so secretive in showing details of their new console. Apparently, there are some careless distributor leaks some information of what's inside the box including its Model Number and a FREE base.

Twitter user Daniel Ahmed uploaded a photo (https://twitter.com/ZhugeEX/status/1304458398369538051) showing parts of some kind of a document, maybe a manual. It contains complete details of what are the contents of both PS5 and PS5 Digital Edition retail boxes would be.

PlayStation 5 Console Inside the Box

  • Model Number: CFI-1015A
  • Box Contents:
    • PlayStation 5 Console
    • Wireless controller
    • 825GB SSD
    • Base
    • HDMI cable
    • AC power cord
    • USB cable
    • Instruction manual
    • ASTRO's PLAYROOM (Pre-installed game. Console may need to be updated to the latest system software version. Internet connection required.)

PlayStation 5 Digital Edition Inside the Box

  • Model Number: CFI-1015B
  • Box Contents:
    • PlayStation 5 Digital Edition
    • Wireless controller
    • 825GB SSD
    • Base
    • HDMI cable
    • AC power cord
    • USB cable
    • Instruction manual
    • ASTRO's PLAYROOM (Pre-installed game. Console may need to be updated to the latest system software version. Internet connection required.)

Both of the system contains the same content except for the console. It is also good thing to know that the storage are separate option from the console, which means it is not soldered in the system and it is replaceable with an aftermarket PCIe 4.0 SSD.

Unfortunately, other accessories like Headset, remote controller and HD camera are not included in the box.


66-Year-old Aiden Pearce is back on Watch Dogs Legion as a Playable Character

First protagonist of Watch Dogs franchise is back in the 3rd installment of the game 'Watch Dogs Legion'. The Fox, Aiden Pearce will be a playable character in the game, but since the Legion is set in the near future at 2040, he aged a little bit older at 66-year-old.

Aiden Pearce was born on May 2, 1974 at Northern Ireland, you played him in Watch Dogs 1 as a 39-year old in the fictional world of Chicago, beating the ctOS operating system that controls the city. In Watch Dogs 3 Legion, near-future London at 2040, he was aged 66 years old with a beard and he will be part in the side story of the game "Story Arc".

The Story Arc is an all-new chapter and only available in Season Pass. In this side-story, Aiden Pearce will be a fully playable character and you'll be unlocking his own story in the game. There are no details yet on how he re-appear in the game or he is a part of resistance, or even a leader of it?

Anyway, here is the full game teaser of the game introducing Aiden Pearce.

Watch Dogs: Legion is now available on XBOX One, PlayStation 4, and PC. It will be soon available on XBOX Series X, S and PlayStation 5 this year.


ASUS ROG announces up to PHP 25K off for selected RTX 2060, 2070 & 2080 Graphics Card

Just in! ASUS Republic of Gamers Facebook page just announced that they're adjusting the prices for their best-selling ROG GeForce RTX 20 Seires graphics card with up to PHP 25,020 off. However, there is no exact information yet if this mark down is available nationwide, or where/how to buy these deals. They only leave a link to their official retailers and resellers; and a note that says "We'll let the photos do the talking, and you do the card hunting.".

Updated as of 09/10/2020 at 10:57 PM, Back2Gaming reported that ASUS representative confirms that the mark down price will be effective starting tomorrow, September 11, 2020.

Here are the prices of card the are set to be mark down.

  • ROG RTX 2080S 08G – PHP 24,490 (PHP 49,510)
  • DUAL RTX 2080S 08G EVO V2 – PHP 23,450 (PHP 44,800)
  • ROG STRIX RTX 2080S A8G – PHP 23,950 (PHP 48,210)
  • ROG STRIX RTX 2070S 08G – PHP 21,450 (PHP 35,950)
  • ROG STRIX RTX 2070S A8G – PHP 20,830 (PHP 34,460)
  • DUAL RTX 2070 08G MINI – PHP 20,830 (PHP 24,170)
  • DUAL RTX 2070 08G EVO V2 – PHP 20,590 (PHP 24,810)
  • ROG STRIX RTX 2060S 08G EVO – PHP 19,610 (PHP 26,840)
  • DUAL RTX 2060S 08G EVO V2 – PHP 18,380 (PHP 24,170)
  • TUF RTX 2060 06G Gaming – PHP 17,940 (PHP 20,090)

This news is exciting for everyone as grabbing yourself an RTX 30 series this year is unsure because of the hype ongoing with its "double performance" against its predecessor. If this markdown is really for a nationwide sale, it will surely sold out their unsold graphics card from the market, because there are people waiting for ages to get a cheap upgrade. But if not, only lucky few folks will be able to enjoy this deal.

As of writing, the prices didn't reflect yet from their online shops at both Lazada and Shopee, some are even out of stock. We will update you with more details once we spot it 😉

Here is the Facebook post announcement.


List of All Redeem Code for Black Desert SEA (Remastered)

Black Desert SEA Remastered is one of the most anticipated MMORPG game on PC and many players are looking for ways to have a starter pack in the game to level up further. From time to time, Pearl Abyss has been dropping redeemable coupon code from their event and news page, and some players might not notice this and was unable to get the free opportunity of getting the new codes.

Table of Contents

  1. Redeem Code List for 2020
  2. How to Redeem Coupon Codes for Black Desert Remastered

To help you stay updated with all of the free redeemable code Pearl Abyss are offering, in this guide, you'll find all of the codes that you can redeem.

Redeem Code List for 2020

As of September 10, 2020, here are the list of redeemable code that you can claim through the game.

Coupon Code Date Added
PEAR-LABY-SS10-YEAR September 10, 2020
HASH-ASHI-NGOO-D202 September 9, 2020
AUTU-MNSE-ASON-GIFT September 8, 2020
HASH-ASHI-N916-SOON September 7, 2020

You can only redeem the code once per account. If some of the code already expired, please let us know in the comment section so we can label it.

How to Redeem the Coupon Code for Black Desert SEA Remastered

To redeem the coupon code, you need to go to the Redemption Page at https://payment.sea.playblackdesert.com/Shop/Coupon/

You need to login your account, either through Facebook, Steam or Black Desert account.

Once you've authorized the login, you'll be able to redeem the codes. Just copy and paste each of the code and you'll be able to receive the item from your inventory or in-game mailbox.

You have to take note that entering incorrect code for 10 times will prevent you from entering it again for 1 hour.

If you haven't downloaded or played Black Desert Remastered yet, you can now purchase it from Steam for a discounted price.

That's it, guys!