Blog Archive

Sunday, 25 October 2020

Chair Fabric Has Ripped, And Stuffing Is Coming Out

An adjustable reclining easy chair that has provided relaxing comfort at an affordable price since it was purchased in 2012, has finally started to show its age, and, after its fabric upholstery was accidentally ripped by children, the stuffing is no…

Man Pedals 6 Miles On Wrong Side Of Road, In Attempt To Find Shoe

A young girl who had fallen asleep on the family motorbike, and whose shoe had slipped from her foot whilst she was in repose, had her father to thank for its retrieval, after he pedalled more than 6 miles on the wrong side of the road to search for…

Trump Suggests Blowing up Hoover Dam to Stop Colorado Wildfires

The current administration has come up with yet another brilliant idea, in its string of brilliant ideas, regarding dealing with national emergencies and disasters. This time, it’s an ingenious concept of solving the problem of Colorado wildfires.

Chelsea war veteran OAP's offer their services to help Lampard energize his £250 million team!

ZZZZZZZZZZZ was the only conclusion watching one of the most utter boring 0-0 footy games played out at the empty colosseum presently called; The Theatre of Nightmares! The visiting team resembled a bunch of lost frightened rabbits blinded by floo…

New documentary shows the horrors of war documentaries

Geoff Surname remembers the first time he watched the War History channel, at the age of 17. He and many of his pals were gleeful at discovering a channel which showed nothing but war documentaries. They were happy to sign up, little knowing that man…

World Record For Buses Arriving At Same Time Smashed

There was cause for celebration in Bangkok this morning, as the record for buses arriving at the same time was not only broken, but smashed to smithereens, as no less than 5 service 140 buses turned up at Victory Monument simultaneously. The servi…

China Reveals That President Trump Owns Three Fortune Cookie Factories

SHANGHAI, China â€" (Satire News) â€" China’s Rice News Agency has revealed that President Trump is the sole owner of three fortune cookie factories. According to government records, the President purchased the three factories a mere two months after…

Sky Sports to add simulated fan abuse

Sky Sports have announced plans to include racist, homophobic, sexualized and other hateful slurs to enliven viewers' experiences, starting with next weekend's Premier League football broadcasts. "Our research uncovered strong viewer demand for an…

The New York Jets at 0-6 Have The Worst Record in The NFL

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Word filtering out of the Jets headquarters is that team owners Woody and Christopher Johnson are trying to sell the team. Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine says that, so far, they’ve contacted 17 possible buyers…

93-year-old OAP forgot to put his clock back ln 2019 and lost an hour every day of his life for a year!

As the planet turns, and we reach yet another annual 'must do', it seems as though OAPs living the last part of their lives don't give a shit about time, or putting clocks back. One 93-year-old OAP residing in Nottingham, forgot to put his clock…

Kate Gosselin Reveals She’s Going To Have Her Vagina Tattoo Lasered Off

WERNERSVILLE, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) â€" According to iRumors, Kate Gosselin is one of the most widely-viewed reality show stars of all time. The 45-year-old blonde mother of eight has starred in such reality shows as “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”…

Two couples and a Wheelie Bin involved in a Mexican stand-off

Couples Ray and Charlotte Ving, and Gary and Lorraine Johnson, were involved in a tense Mexican stand-off with a wheelie bin when they passed each other on a narrow street in Mithering on the Trent. Wheelie bin Larry Flump takes up the story: 'I c…

Man Is Considering Leaving Friends Reunited

A man who, late in life, reminisced himself into seeking out the company of some of his acquaintances from his childhood, and joined the online social networking phenomenon, Friends Reunited, has said he is extremely disappointed with the response he…

William Barr Locked Out Of White House Parking Space

Driving down Pennsylvania Avenue in his red Ferrari, Attorney General William Barr turned into the White House driveway. As usual, he used his car’s La Cucaracha trumpet to alert the guard to open the gate. The gate didn’t open. He was waved to…

C-listed Actor Donald Trump Miscast In Leading Role

Why did, and is, Donald Trump doing such a poor job? The guy is strictly a C-listed actor and given an A-listed leading role that he could never perform. It is what it is, and he can't handle the truth. An actor with a B-listed role is us…

The Tory Party Soccer Select Squad…

Spoof.com looks at the big hitters in the all-conquering Tory soccer team, that always seems to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. How long can the Tory juggernaut continue? How long can Magic Johnson keep it on the road? Let's take a look…

A Brooklyn Mafia Boss Says If President Trump Loses and Refuses to Vacate the White House, He Has Some Fellas Who Will Help Him Leave

BROOKLYN â€" (Satire News) â€" Fox News is reporting that President Trump has said that, if he loses the election, he will simply refuse to vacate the White House. The so-called 'Fair and Balanced' network pointed out that the President remarked that…

Man Afraid That A Joe Biden Victory Will Lead To Him Having To Clean Up His Yard

A grumpy Minnesota man is concerned that a November 3 Joe Biden election victory will lead him to having to clean up his immensely cluttered lawn. Donald Crabby has been dumping his household trash all over his yard ever since Donald Trump won t…

Judge Who’s Sure 2 Penguins Walked to An Ark in Iraq in 2000 BC Says Climate Science is Controversial

Washington - Judge Amy Coney Barrett, during her testimony in the Senate last week, declared that the idea that the World climate was changing due to the burning of fossil fuels was “controversial”. This, despite the reality that the entirety of r…

Elastic In Underpants Was So Slack, Man Could Feel His Cock Dangling Down His Trouser Leg

A case of 'elastic with no elasticity' in a man's underpants meant they became so slack at the legholes that he was able to feel his penis dangling out of the underwear, and gently 'bobbing about' in his trouser leg. The underpants, which were on…

LeBron James and Patrick Mahomes Urge All Professional Sports Athletes To Vote For Joe Biden

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Turnstile Review has divulged that sports superstars LeBron James and Patrick Mahomes are urging all fans of professional sports to please vote Trump out of the White House, by voting for the kind, caring, compassi…

The Children Donald Trump Ripped From Parents' Arms

The Donald Trump policy was to rip children from their parents' arms and incarcerate them in cages. Welcome to Donald Trump’s USA. “But they were well taken care of,” Trump said, during the last presidential debate. Ripped from a mother’s arms an…

Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom. The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real n…

German frustrated wife divorces hubby because he has two left-hands!

(NOT EDITED) Hanging up curtain rails might be quite simple for most people, However a non-handy man from Bitburg, Germany, possessing 'two left-hands' tends to think quite differently especially having a 'flame-spitting dragon' as a wife! Hoping…

USA Becomes Banana Republic of America as Strongman Tries to Have Political Opponent Arrested

Washington - It was learned the countries around the world have started referring to the United States as BRA, the Banana Republic of America. At the head of the U.S. is Commandant Donald Trump, a man who skipped out on military service but loves mi…

Kim Jong-un Says Something, But Nobody Understands, Because It's All In Korean

There was controversy on the Korean peninsula this morning after the North's leader, Kim Jong-un, made a visually-impassioned speech about something or other that proved totally unintelligible, as everything he said was spoken in fluent Korean. Jo…

Trump asserts election interference by Russia, Iran, Mars

US President Donald Trump affirmed today he had clear evidence Russia, Iran and Mars were interfering with the 2020 election. Speaking this morning at a campaign stop in South Bend, Indiana, the GOP leader said the FBI had presented him with proo…

Ann Widdicombe still hasn't ****** off

Despite repeatedly being told to **** off by people on Twitter, erstwhile Conservative politician Ann Widdicombe still refuses to. The former Strictly Come Dancing comedian, and Evil Edna from children's documentary Willo the Wisp brought to life…

Trump and his "Johnson": the truth

The President of the United States of America, Donald J Trump, has addressed the issue of his supposed physical impotency. He wanted to dispel any myths circulating that he couldn't get off on his own beauty. "I can make even a f…ing horse rand…

President Trump's Twitter Account Has Been Hacked by A Guatemalan Drug Cartel

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Vox Populi News Agency has discovered that President Trump’s personal Twitter account has been hacked by the infamous Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel. The cartel, which is the biggest drug cartel in Central Americ…