Met a girl at a party …

I met a girl at a party and she said, "Come outside and I'll show you a good time."So we went outside and she ran 100 metres in 9.79 seconds.

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Electrician's Clothing

An electrician's favourite article of clothing would be their shorts.

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This Supermarket Joke

This Supermarket joke.Its an Aldi but a goodie.

The post This Supermarket Joke appeared first on noot! noot!.

What's Brown and lies beside the piano?

What's brown and lies beside the piano? Beethoven's last movement.      

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Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart… That's my modus operandi.

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Analysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats

Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…

Man Makes Breakthrough In 18-Month-Old Sudoku

There were celebrations in one household this afternoon, when a man who started a Sudoku puzzle from the newspaper nearly 18 months ago but stopped trying to complete it when it became rather too difficult, made a chance inroad which may, ultimately,…

Paper Was Stuck To Pie

In news that is sure to come as a bombshell to those in culinary circles, a man has revealed how a pie he bought from a bakery, at dinnertime today, had become stuck to the greaseproof paper casing upon which it was sat. Moys Kenwood, 57, purchase…

Trump To Run For President Of Russia

With Vladimir Putin having so much trouble with opposition leader Alexei Navalny, Donald Trump sees a possible opening and solution to his bankruptcy, jail sentence, Mar-A-Lago, and Apprentice cancelation, which is to escape to Russia, and then run f…

Tom Brady of The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Shows He’s 43, Going on 23, as He's Headed For The Super Bowl

GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satires) â€" In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…

Man Urinates On Other Man's Trousers

Not content with making the common public urinal mistake of urinating all over a neighboring user's shoes, one man went a step further at the weekend when, hurriedly unzipping his fly to relieve his bladder, he 'lost control' of the situation, and so…

Mike Pence A Hero And A Gentleman

After standing behind Donald Trump for the last four years and looking half asleep, former Vice President Mike Pence came to life in his last month of office, proving to be both a hero and a gentleman. Hard to say that about Donald Trump. Vice…

Biden Names Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler To Head FBI

BILLINGSGATE POST: For the first time since J Edgar Hoover, the FBI will have a director who is not beholden to anyone. Today, President Biden announced that he is replacing Christopher Wray with a man who has no boundaries, a man who can’t be bought…

Couple still haven't laughed at Radio 4 comedy programmes

Chutney on the Fritz couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson have admitted that, despite their best efforts, they are yet to find a single thing that Radio Four describe as comedy funny, or even rib-tickling. 'We listened to that thing with Robert Webb,…

Man giving up the Daily Mail

Rupert Penny-Farthing, from Mithering on the Trent, has given up reading the Daily Mail. He gave it up as a New Year's resolution, but now, after more than three weeks, he knows that he is strong enough never to go near another copy of the tabloid fa…

Giggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles” Harris

BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles” Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…

Successful Space Launch from Sussex

Nosey neighbour Jess Curious was last seen rising swiftly from the roof of 25 Privet Road, Harshleigh, Sussex. Owner, Nona Yorbizniss, claims that Mr Curious insisted on testing her newly-installed high-speed lift - "Much more swift than your old sta…

Train spotter missing regular trains

Trainspotter Bob Montgomery, 58 from Cheddar Off Cut, a small town close to Chutney on the Fritz, is really missing having more regular trains. With Coronavirus restrictions in full place, fewer trains have been stopping or passing through Cheddar…

Queen Invites President Joseph Biden To Tea

This telephone recording was made by skilled cyber communication traffickers. Learning that Queen Elizabeth had invited Joseph Biden to tea, former President Obama immediately got on the telephone with the Queen. President Obama was put on ho…

Trump's note to Biden at The Oval Office (now framed and under glass) leaked to the press

World leaders and social media are expressing outrage that Mr. Trump's farewell note to Mr. Biden has been exposed. Mr. Biden described the note as “a very generous letter.” Meanwhile, Mr. Bin Salman and Mr. Netanyahu have led a chorus of angr…

Suicidal Liverpool FC fans break lockdown and jump in the Mersey!

(NOT EDITED) One hit wonders, Liverpool FC, are wondering why they are not 'top dogs' anymore while both Manchester clubs are 'rinsing' them this season after their first Premier League success since the Amoeba exited water! Their German manager,…

Bill Cosby Divulges That Thanks To Trump He’s As Happy As a Squirrel With a Bucketful of Nuts

PHOENIX â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News has just confirmed that the happiest prisoner at The Phoenix State Prison For Criminals is Bill Cosby, aka inmate #91069. Cos, as he was called before he was charged with drugging, seducing, and boinking ov…

Man Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet

A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet. Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashio…

Liverpool Boss Jurgen Klopp Has Lost The Dressing Room

Fans of the Premier League champions, Liverpool, were in disarray this morning after seeing their team slide further down the table following an Anfield defeat by lowly Burnley, but they may not be in as much disarray as their German coach, Jurgen Kl…

German truck load of pigs gets stuck in the mud!

Truck driving in rural areas during winter can sometimes be precarious especially when a farm sits on top of a muddy hill, and trucks loaded with live pigs need to reach the farm. One incident, which caused quite a stir (not fry), happened in a ti…

New theory of politics vigorously denied in the halls of social media and congress

Professor Floutus Dignit of MIT has just emerged to the world stage with a theory he calls “similar to the problem of delirium tremens in the old days.” The delirium tremens malady occurs as a consequence of withdrawal from alcohol, with unpleasa…

Russian Political Scientist Kept Saying "Mmng-geh"

A Russian political scientist invited onto a news programme to give his views on the arrest and subsequent incarceration of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, raised eyebrows amongst the viewing public after he peppered his statements with a s…

Britain nominated for "Sick Man of Europe"

Britain is set to reclaim a title it hasn't held since the 1970s - the sick man of Europe. The award is given annually by the European Sickness Bureau (BSE) and in the last few years has been given to Russia, Poland and Turkey. "We're very proud t…

Biden’s Surprising New Executive Orders Stun (Some) Americans

Apparently true to his word that he would not waste time merely legislating when executive orders would suffice, President Biden has issued a new set of far-reaching orders that will fundamentally transform America. 1. First, the southern US bord…

The World’s Number One Satire Site Has Just Given It’s Writers a Strict Directive

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Well, finally, Donald Johnny Trump, the worst president in the history of the United States, has high-tailed it out of Dodge, and is now languishing bitterly in disgrace in his Mar-a-Lago residence down in The Plywood…

Liverpool: The Wheels Are Well-And-Truly Off!

After last year's success, when Liverpool Football Club won their first top flight title in three decades, few people would have bet against Jurgen Klopp's men repeating the feat this time around, but after a humiliating 1-0 defeat against Burnley at…

Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

HOUSTON â€" (Sports Satire) â€" In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…

Biden Spends First Day Cleaning Up

He may not have been in office very long, but, in today's rough-and-tumble environment of political shenanigans, where things move quickly, truth has become 'optional', and the victor is often the person who doles out the best nicknames, Joe Biden is…

Trump Opens 2024 Bid by Attacking Rival Ted Cruz, Citing 2016 Iowa Fraud, JFK Shooting and Ugly Wife

Mar-A-Lago - Recently departed former President Donald Trump, on a day following his speech to supporters at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, has declared his candidacy for President in 2024, and immediately attacked his two expected challengers f…

Piracy on the high seas is back

Brexit Britain is a sea of opportunity. According to Tory MP Iain Duncan-Smith, he wishes he was 22 again, so that he could take advantage of those opportunities and start "buccaneering" again. But a pirate ship is no place for a bald old man with…

Sea of Thieves Season One will kick off this week

Sea of Thieves Season One will kick off this week
Time to raise the sails.

Journey to the Savage Planet Steam Announce Trailer

Journey to the Savage Planet Steam Announce Trailer

HUMANKIND™ Feature Focus: Avatar AI

HUMANKIND™ Feature Focus: Avatar AI

Team 17 acquires Golf With Your Friends

Team 17 acquires Golf With Your Friends
The price? £12 million.

#Amplified2021 Day 3 | Amplitude's 10th Anniversary Celebrations

#Amplified2021 Day 3 | Amplitude's 10th Anniversary Celebrations

Ghost Recon Breakpoint gets a free weekend

Ghost Recon Breakpoint gets a free weekend
And we also have free access to the Rainbow Six Siege crossover event.

The King of Fighters XV puts up another character trailer

The King of Fighters XV puts up another character trailer
Meitenkun, your turn now.

Kingdom of Amalur: Re-Reckoning is coming to Nintendo Switch in March

Kingdom of Amalur: Re-Reckoning is coming to Nintendo Switch in March
One of the most underrated games of the previous decade.



Hitman 3's launch trailer is up and ready

Hitman 3's launch trailer is up and ready
One day....just one day left!

Ace Combat 7 gets its 2nd Anniversary update today

Ace Combat 7 gets its 2nd Anniversary update today
The Sky is the limit.

Samurai Shodown's Xbox Series X|S upgrade is coming out this March

Samurai Shodown's Xbox Series X|S upgrade is coming out this March
It lands on March 16.



The Nintendo Switch Cloud version of Hitman 3 will launch on January 20

The Nintendo Switch Cloud version of Hitman 3 will launch on January 20
Ready for some dirty work?

Ghost Recon: Breakpoint crosses over with Rainbow Six: Siege for Amber Sky event

Ghost Recon: Breakpoint crosses over with Rainbow Six: Siege for Amber Sky event
The event will kick off on January 21.

Star Wars Battlefront II is now up for grabs on the Epic Games Store

Star Wars Battlefront II is now up for grabs on the Epic Games Store
You have time to pick it up until January 21.

The new Medium live-action trailer is scarier than anything we've seen so far

The new Medium live-action trailer is scarier than anything we've seen so far

RTK XIV: Diplomacy and Strategy Expansion Pack Trailer

RTK XIV: Diplomacy and Strategy Expansion Pack Trailer

STAR WARS: Squadrons – Free Content Update Trailer

STAR WARS: Squadrons – Free Content Update Trailer

The King of Fighters XV gets its first character trailer

The King of Fighters XV gets its first character trailer
Welcome, Shun'ei!

Little Red Lie – Game Jam Build Download

Little Red Lie is a beautifully animated 2D horror adventure that delivers a dark twist on the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood as Red tries to uncover the truth about what happened to her grandma.

Taking place after the events of the original Little Red Riding Hood story, Little Red Lie sees Red venturing through a mysterious portal to a place where a … Read More

The post Little Red Lie - Game Jam Build Download first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

PalmRide – Alpha Demo

PalmRide is a retro styled arcade racing game where you drive and shoot your way through a city as it pulses in time with the music.

Drawing inspiration from OutRun and Rad Racer, PalmRide is a Vecter-esque, driving survival game where you race through the traffic-filled roads of a vibrant city. Your aim is to drive as far as possible and to do … Read More

The post PalmRide - Alpha Demo first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Monstrum 2 – Open Beta

The open Beta is now live for Monstrum 2, an asymmetric multiplayer survival horror game that pits one monster against four human prisoners as they attempt to escape a procedurally generated offshore facility.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during last August Monstrum 2 is an asymmetric multiplayer sequel to the popular original single-player Monstrum survival horror game. Players can take on the role … Read More

The post Monstrum 2 - Open Beta first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Teacup – Beta Demo

Teacup is a wholesome narrative-driven adventure about a little frog girl who loves tea and reading books.

In Teacup you follow the adventure of a young introverted frog who is throwing a tea party in a couple of days time. However, she's run out of tea and will have to set out and explore the surrounding woodland in search of some. Along the way she'll … Read More

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Resident Evil Re:Verse – Beta Sign Up (PS4 & Xbox One)

Resident Evil Re:Verse is a Resident Evil spin-off which will see heroes and villains from the long-running franchise facing off against each other in multiplayer deathmatches.

We did sort of cover the Resident Evil Re:Verse Beta sign up last week when it was an unnamed 25th Anniversary of Resident Evil Beta Sign up. Capcom has now released some more info about the game and … Read More

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Cybel – Beta Download

Cybel is a dark and satisfyingly brutal Hotline Miami-esque top-down Sci-Fi shooter where an Elevator Witch goes from floor to floor in a heavily armed facility and murders everyone!

In Cybel you take on the role of Cybel, and Elevator Witch who goes from floor to floor with just one objective – KILL EVERYONE. To achieve this you have a melee attack, a badass … Read More

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Dread Hunger – Beta Sign Up

Dread Hunger is a multiplayer action adventure game where you attempt to survive in a frostbitten Canadian Arctic wilderness, fending off the cold, wolves, other predators and other players.

Featuring a blend of PvP and co-op multiplayer, in Dread Hunger you may be working as a team to survive in its icy wilderness, but there are two traitors in your ranks who are attempting to … Read More

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Time Loader – Beta Demo

Time Loader is a beautifully crafted narrative-driven physics-based puzzle platforming adventure where a little wheeled robot is sent back to the 90's to prevent a terrible accident.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer in May last year, Time Loader is a physics-based puzzle adventure where a robot is sent back to the 90's to prevent an accident that left its creator wheelchair-bound for life. … Read More

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Resident Evil: Maiden – Beta Demo (PS5)

Resident Evil: Maiden is a visually stunning standalone Resident Evil Village demo which sees you attempting to escape from the dungeon of a mansion that's inhabited by some very wicked women.

Originally created as a tech demo to showcase what the new Resident Evil game will look like on the new generation of consoles, the devs of Resident Evil: Maiden since decided to expand it … Read More

The post Resident Evil: Maiden - Beta Demo (PS5) first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

GunDrill – Alpha Demo

GunDrill is a beautifully animated 2D action platforming adventure where you shoot, drill and gather ore in monster-filled mines.

In GunDrill you take on the role of a mysterious soldier who helps gather ore and bring it back to a train that's travelling through an alien world. The mines in the planet are rich with ore, but they're also filled with monsters. Thankfully though you … Read More

The post GunDrill - Alpha Demo first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Big Boy Boxing – Alpha Demo

Big Boy Boxing is a boss rush pixel art boxing game where you dodge and punch your way through challenging fights against beautifully animated combatants.

Drawing inspiration from Punch-Out!!, Cuphead and Shovel Knight, Big Boy Boxing is a slapstick boss rush boxing game where you can't just button your way to victory. Being a 2D boxing game, it does obviously draw comparisons to … Read More

The post Big Boy Boxing - Alpha Demo first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Rocket Rumble – Beta Sign Up

Rocket Rumble is a multiplayer racing game where animals in jet-propelled exosuits smash and bash their way to the finish line.

Currently in development by PixelNAUTS Game (Creators of LOST ORBIT: Terminal Velocity) Rocket Rumble blends racing with combat as you animals in rocket-powered exosuits race each other. It's playable with 2-4 players (locally or online) and sees players using a mixture of ramps, … Read More

The post Rocket Rumble - Beta Sign Up first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

HUSK – Beta Download

HUSK is a short atmospheric first person horror game where you venture into a long abandoned home that you've inherited, only to find something big and freaky scuttling around in the darkness.

In HUSK you take on the role of a woman who has inherited an estate from a distant relative who disappeared a century ago. It has been empty for decades, but you've been … Read More

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Tunnel of Doom – Beta Sign Up

Tunnel of Doom features a fusion of roguelite dungeon crawling and tower defense as you fight your way through a tunnel system filled with ghoulish creatures.

Taking place in a small mining town during 1903, Tunnel of Doom sees you taking on the role of the wife of a miner who has become trapped in the tunnels he was working on. The mayor has shut … Read More

The post Tunnel of Doom - Beta Sign Up first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

RetroShooti – Beta Demo

RetroShooti is a wonderfully weird retro side-scrolling shoot 'em up that's packed full of crazy surprises as you blast your way through its bizarre and chaotic levels.

In RetroShooti you take control of a spaceship shaped hero as they make their way home through a wacky rainbow universe. It is a side-scrolling shoot 'em up, but the sheer variety and ridiculousness of everything it throws … Read More

The post RetroShooti - Beta Demo first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Storm Ground – Beta Sign Up

Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Storm Ground is a new turn based tactical warfare game set in Warmhammer's dark fantasy Age of Sigmar universe.

Earning the title of being the first strategy game set in the Age of Sigmar universe, Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Storm Ground will see you commanding your highly customizable squad in a land of legends, heroes and hellish creatures. The game will … Read More

The post Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Storm Ground - Beta Sign Up first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

GigaSword – Alpha Demo

GigaSword is a beautifully animated retro styled puzzle action platforming metroidvania where your sword is so huge that it weighs you down and you need to relinquish it a times to aid your progress.

In GigaSword your sword is a great asset, but also a hindrance – it packs one hell of a hit and it can be used to activate machinery, but it's so … Read More

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Grand Casino Tycoon – Beta Sign Up

Grand Casino Tycoon is a new business simulation game that allows you to build and run your own casino empire, where you lure in guests and take all their money.

In Grand Casino Tycoon you'll be able to build your own Las Vegas casino empire from the ground up and manage it to keep your gamblers happy while relieving them of their hard earned money. … Read More

The post Grand Casino Tycoon - Beta Sign Up first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

LOCUST, USA – Prototype Download

LOCUST, USA is a Breakout/Pinball inspired horror game where four kids attempt to uncover the dark secrets hidden in the small American town of Locust.

Drawing inspiration from Stranger Things, TRON and World of Horror, LOCUST, USA features a fantastic fusion of Breakout style block breaking and Pinball. As you smash your way through a series of single screen levels you'll follow … Read More

The post LOCUST, USA - Prototype Download first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Oddinary Highway – Beta Sign Up

Oddinary Highway is a roguelite retrofuturistic side-scrolling shoot 'em up where the game mechanics constantly change as you go on on a hyperspace roadtrip to take down the robo-mafia.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer back in 2017, Oddinary Highway is a beautifully animated pixel art shoot 'em up with roguelite elements and a very cool retrofuturistic aesthetic. In the game you take on the … Read More

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Project Feline – Pre-Alpha Download

Project Feline is a freeform parkour platforming game where you control a highly agile feline-human hybrid as she races through complex multi-route environments.

In Project Feline you take control of Gabi, a cat-human hybrid who can gracefully run, jump, wall-run and grind through the world. It has a focus on speedrunning, with roughly prescribed routes through the levels that still offer a nice amount of … Read More

The post Project Feline - Pre-Alpha Download first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

The Deep Deep – Beta Sign Up

The Deep Deep is a single-player tactical dungeon crawler where you command a party of dwarves as they solve puzzles, battle enemies and find treasure.

In The Deep Deep you'll be able to build a party from a selection of six different dwarven classes, each with their own unique equipment and abilities, then control them as they make their way through a treacherous underground mine … Read More

The post The Deep Deep - Beta Sign Up first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

I Am Future – Alpha Sign Up

I Am Future looks set to deliver a more upbeat and fun take on the post-apocalyptic survival game genre, as you try to make the perfect home for yourself atop a skyscraper, many years after an apocalypse.

Blending elements of survival and tower defence, in I Am Future you'll venture out into the abandoned and overgrown ruins of a city to gather resources. With the … Read More

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Untangled: Payback – Prototype Download

Untangled: Payback is a brutal and beautifully animated cinematic 2D action platformer adventure that draws inspiration from 80's action movies as you fight your way through a heavily fortified gang headquarters after a good deal goes bad.

Playing a little like 90's classics Another World and Flashback, Untangled: Payback is a cinematic action platformer which follows the story of Clyde – a grizzled hero … Read More

The post Untangled: Payback - Prototype Download first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Heavy Duty Challenge – Open Beta

Heavy Duty Challenge is a realistic extreme off-road racing simulation game where you compete in trials using a variety of heavy duty vehicles to traverse some seriously challenging courses.

Featuring officially licenced content of the Eorpa Truck Trial and 12 real-life trucks to take for a spin, Heavy Duty Challenge is an extreme off-road racing simulation game where you'll be lucky to make it to … Read More

The post Heavy Duty Challenge - Open Beta first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

Gunborg – Beta Demo

Gunborg is a slick and stylish 2D action platforming adventure where you steal guns and deflect bullets as you fight your way through a giant battleship filled with robots and aliens.

In Gunborg you take on the role of a mysterious lone warrior as she boards, then slices and shoots her way through a huge alien spaceship. Your default weapon is a plasma sword but … Read More

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Run Prop, Run! – Steam Beta Key Giveaway

We have 4,000 Steam Beta Keys to giveaway for Run Prop, Run!, a Prop Hunt inspired multiplayer game of hide and seek set in a colorful cartoony world.

Previously featured on Alpha Beta Gamer during the closed Beta sign up, Run Prop, Run! sees players attempting to hide in plain sight by disguising themselves as everyday objects, while avoiding being caught by the … Read More

The post Run Prop, Run! - Steam Beta Key Giveaway first appeared on Alpha Beta Gamer.

25th Anniversary of Resident Evil – Beta Sign Up (Playstation & Xbox)

Playstation and Xbox owners can now sign up to Beta test a mysterious new Resident Evil game that's being released to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Capcom's long running franchise.

Capcom are remaining very tight-lipped about what this 25th anniversary of Resident Evil Beta test actually is, but they will reveal more at 5AM (EST) on January 21st. For now all we know is that … Read More

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Zaacar – Beta Sign Up

Zaacar is a combat racing game where players build custom vehicles and race to be the first across the finish line in carnage-filled 50 player battles.

Looking like a fusion of Mad Max and battle royale. Zaacar allows players to carefully craft the strongest and fastest vehicle of mass destruction then compete to be the first past the finish line in 50 player battles. You … Read More

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Boundary – Beta Sign Up

Boundary is a fantastic looking zero gravity multiplayer FPS where astronauts do battle in and around orbiting space stations.

Looking very much like Call of Duty in space, Boundary is a multiplayer FPS where armed astronauts (called astroperators) do battle in intense team-based firefights in and around orbiting space stations. It blends realistic environments and spacesuits with intense spectacle-filled low gravity first person combat.

BoundaryRead More

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Fight or Kite: Sea of Thieves made me feel like a pirate

In the long running debate between who would win in a fight between pirates and ninjas, I've always fallen on the side of the ninjas. Ever since I was a young lad running through my home with a turtle mask on while donning a sword and nunchaku (you can't tell me I can't be Leoangelo!), […]

SuperData December 2020: World of Warcraft is dethroned again, and people still love Among Us

While SuperData has already put a bow on the entirety of games earnings in 2020, there's still the December 2020 breakdown to cover, which offers a couple of shifting standings at the top of the sales charts and some newly broken records. Surprising nobody that follows the PC gaming universe, Cyberpunk 2077 was the top […]

Wisdom of Nym: Oh, the places left to go in Final Fantasy XIV

There's a lot of stuff on the Source in Final Fantasy XIV. (It feels faintly wrong to call the place Hydaelyn now, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who has cleared through the Shadowbringers story.) And with the announcement of the next expansion happening in less than two weeks, now seems like a fine time to […]

Guild Wars 2 game designer Keaven Freeman announces his departure from ArenaNet

It looks like ArenaNet is losing yet another member of its team. Guild Wars 2 game designer Keaven Freeman unveiled on his personal blog that he will be leaving the studio after nearly five years, which includes a long body of work on Living World updates from Jormag Rising to A Crack in the Ice. […]

Fallout 76's bumps STASH size by 50%, improves inventory features

The first Fallout 76 patch of the year is coming on January 26th, and while it won't be a groundbreaking content dump, it will impact all players by improving their inventory. The STASH is getting increased from 800 to 1200 pounds, the Pipboy is getting three new tabs (New, Armor, and Food/Drink) to help sort […]

RuneScape studio Jagex has been sold for the third time in six years against the backdrop of a… RICO lawsuit?

We're going to play a fun new game today. It's called Who Owns Jagex Now! As we chronicled last summer, RuneScape studio Jagex's ownership became a bizarre mystery in 2019 and 2020. It was sold to a Chinese mining company in 2016, then to a new holding company in 2019, which Jagex initially denied but […]

Star Trek Online's 11th anniversary update on PC will eliminate faction restrictions on starships

Klingons flying Federation ships? Romulans tooling around in a Section 31 Battlecruiser? What sort of madness is this? It's Star Trek Online shrugging at the IP's canon and letting players have fun, or more specifically, it's the end of factional restrictions on starships that will let characters that play the MMO on PC fly any […]

Neverwinter's combat rework on PC lights a bonfire of player complaints

Last week, Neverwinter released a major update on PC that applied a far-reaching rework to combat, changing the way stats, item level, and ratings applied throughout the entire MMORPG. Almost immediately, there were reactions from players pointing out problems with the patch, which has been a rolling theme from the game's community over the course […]

Blade and Soul Revolution will release worldwide this year, opens pre-registration January 28

It's been a while since this one came across our desk, so allow us a moment to refresh everyone's memory: Blade and Soul: Revolution, the mobile MMO being released by Netmarble that was first revealed in November 2017 and promised to stay true to the PC game, has been slowly rolling out details over the […]

The Daily Grind: Do you make use of votekicking in MMOs?

Not long after Shadowlands released, there was a heavily upvoted thread on the World of Warcraft subreddit in which a player related a story about an awful dungeon run. He'd been in a group with a new player who had weak damage but who was otherwise competent and hadn't caused any wipes or serious problems […]

MMO Week in Review: Guild Wars 2's Power, KingsIsle's acquisition

This week in MMOs, Guild Wars 2 showed its true Power with… its Power episode. Chapter. Thing. Plus, KingsIsle got bought by Gamigo's parent company, Star Trek Online is going all out for its anniversary, Pantheon scored some welcome investment, we got a tease for a new MMO on the way, and SSG went ahead […]

Battle Bards Episode 185: Taking Flight

Flying has always been both beloved and controversial in MMORPGs, but no matter what your stance on it, at least you can agree that when you slip the surly bonds of earth, you need an amazing soundtrack for that moment. Thankfully, captain Steff, co-pilot Syl, and navigator Syp are here to point out some of […]

Fortnite adds the Terminator T-800 and Sarah Connor as latest in long list of S5 cash shop cameos

Sheesh, we look away from Fortnite for just a few minutes, diverted by Epic Games buying shopping malls and continuing to fight Apple and Google, and find out that the game's turned into the Smash Bros. of battle royales. This realization arrives thanks to the addition of the Terminator T-800 and Sarah Connor to the […]

Make My MMO: Temtem turns one, Elyria marches onward, and Pantheon scores fresh investment

We're off to a good 2021 for MMO crowdfunding: Pantheon got a nice infusion of investment, Chronicles of Elyria posted a second video on its development progress, Temtem is celebrating a year in early access, Crowfall plans big customization upgrades, Albion Online announced the return of the Crystal League competition with the Season 11 Crystal League […]

Jukebox Heroes: The best of Wurm Online's original soundtrack

When is a soundtrack not quite a normal soundtrack? When it's Wurm Online, of course. This cult sandbox has one of the most unusual scores that I've ever heard paired with an MMO. It's made up of sparsely used incidental music that just so happens to be folksy blues songs (with lyrics), composed by Joss […]

Genshin Impact celebrates the Lunar New Year and adds a new character in its February 3 update

It's a new year and a new upcoming update arriving to Genshin Impact on Wednesday, February 3rd. Specifically, the Lunar New Year, which in-game is celebrated in Liyue as the Lantern Rite and brings an event with sidequests, a variety of food stalls in Liyue's streets, activities unique to the holiday like an all-new tower […]

One Shots: A good day to respawn

You'd think it would be mentally exhausting to be a Klingon, what with waking up every morning fully expecting to die and looking for every possible opportunity to throw yourself into the jaws of the Grim Reaper (or whatever the Klingon equivalent is). I'd say that Hikari settled on a good solution here in Star […]

The Daily Grind: What's your dream MMO cross-promotion?

I've always been amused by the fact that Naoki Yoshida has specifically said he'd love to have Final Fantasy XIV do a cross-promotional event with World of Warcraft. It's both wholesome and a sign that the rivalry players sometimes establish between games is not mirrored on the development side. Plus… let's be real, it would be pretty awesome […]

The MOP Up: Gran Saga's big Korean launch

NPixel's cross-platform Gran Saga is finally going live this week — albeit in Korea, for now. The attractive-looking mobile and PC title is supposed to make its way to the west some time next year, however, so it's always good to take a tour of its offerings to see if this is a title you'd […]

Cyberpunk 2077's latest patch 'lays the groundwork' for a better game

With massive player dissent, mismanagement, horrible console performance, and filed lawsuits against it, Cyberpunk 2077 has seen one of the rougher high-profile launches in video game history. But CD Projekt Red is hoping that hard work and incremental improvement will change the game's fortunes — and the company's battered reputation. Hence, this past week's Patch […]

Blizzard absorbs 200 Activision employees following merge of rumored Diablo II remaster team

The Blizzard family got a whole lot bigger this past week. Games Industry reported that the World of Warcraft developer absorbed 200 employees from the Activision side, thanks to a restructuring of the larger firm. The new staff comes with the Albany-based Vicarious Visions studio, which previously worked games like Tony Hawk Pro Skater and […]

The Stream Team: Horse racing in Black Desert Online

Black Desert has introduced horse racing, and Massively OP's MJ has been totally snookered into trying it out thanks to the super cute black spirit on horseback. How could she possibly resist that?! Now, whether or not she'll be able to afford to race in the Old Moon Grand Prix is another story, but she's […]

Into the Super-verse: Will we ever get a Marvel MMORPG?

While DC Universe Online is coasting high on its success in Year Ten, it feels a shame that there's no Marvel MMORPG to match it. Marvel is still a blazing hot IP as it moves into Phase 4 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and it's sad that MMO players who love that universe don't have […]

Microsoft walks back its previously announced price hike for Xbox Live Gold subscription

Much of the online multiplayer gaming world was lit on fire by Microsoft earlier this week when the company attempted to raise the cost for Xbox Live Gold subs, ramping up the one-month, three-month, and six-month subs by $1, $5, and $20 respectively. Microsoft attempted to rationalize the price change by pointing out the sub […]

WRUP: Advantages and Disadvantages edition

Advantages: Double-jointed (5 points) Triple-jointed (10 points) My limbs are covered in joints like one of those snakes you could get at a carnival booth (15 points) Really crappy code of behavior (5 points) Edgelord (10 points) Can clear those appearing-disappearing block sections in Mega Man without using Rush Jet (5 points) Smell nice (10 […]

The Daily Grind: What's the worst maze in an MMO?

It's been clinically proven [citation needed] that no RPG player has ever, at any time, under any circumstance enjoyed a run through an in-game maze. In truth, players tend to loathe these sections for their confusing layouts and non-enjoyable interaction. Yet developers keep putting them in because mazes lengthen the overall gameplay clock and because […]

The Stream Team: Needing a personal Warframe Necramech

After running the special Necramech event, Massively OP's MJ determined she needed  her own personal machine in Warframe sooner rather than later. It is sure to take a bit of work, but she's willing to put in the time. (Anything to not have to rely on "found" necramechs in an event ever again!) Tune in […]

Betawatch: Pantheon gets a funding runway

The big news this week for Pantheon wasn't really about the game's beta exactly but about a seven-figure investment that supposedly set the game on a runway to launch with further development. Still, you can't have a proper beta without a proper pathway to launch, right? Right. You need both of those things, and now it […]

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds adds a new reputation system with patch 10.2

There's a lot of stuff that's been added in the latest patch for PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds. For example, there's a new coupe for players to drive around the battlefield within, and new tricks you can pull whilst riding around on dirtbikes. There are changes to ranked play, to boot. But what's going to grab the most eyes […]

Smash Legends is a multiplayer arena brawler on mobile and PC that promises a variety of colorful modes

Who's ready to PvP against others for things like higher fruit totals, point captures, or simply being the last cute little thing standing? Then you're ready for Smash Legends, a multiplayer arena brawler that's headed for a soft launch on mobile and Steam Early Access on PC sometime in the first quarter of this year. […]

Shadow Arena offers compensation, flips hero Venslar from offense to support

Shadow Arena isn't letting its low population counts stop it: Pearl Abyss is plunging on with updates anyway. Earlier this month, we covered a major update to the Black Desert battle royale spinoff that actually appeared to be a de-battle-royalification of the game, as the 40v40 matches were replaced with 3v3 arena matches with the […]

Skyforge is selling new Nintendo Switch founder pack bundles prior to launch

Skyforge is getting a nice boost of coverage and publicity thanks to its imminent launch on the Nintendo Switch. is taking advantage of this increased interest by putting a trio of founder's packs up for sale on the Switch store. While you'll have to go to the Switch store to see the actual pricing, […]

Destiny 2 adds a Hawkmoon catalyst quest, discusses seasonal activity length and Umbral Engrams' return

Bungie's latest weekly update is once more full of information about what's new and incoming for Destiny 2. In this week's post, we're getting a look at the addition of a new quest line to unlock a catalyst for the Hawkmoon exotic weapon (provided you're a Season of the Hunt owner) as well as another […]

The Stream Team: Swaying the werewolf senators' to silence in AQ3D

If she's going to help end the war between the werewolves and the vampires in AQ3D, Massively OP's MJ has to ensure the current werewolf leader is deposed and replaced by the vampire queen's brother. To do that, she needs to convince the remaining senators of the pack to not challenge Constantine's challenge. Can she […]

RIFT's Typhoon of Doom battle pass goes live

Since RIFT has long since traded in actual content updates for seasonal battle passes, the start of a new cycle is as much a call for celebration as anything this MMO is getting these days. So wake up, Ascended, because the sixth season is now live in the game and will run through March 18th. […]

Final Fantasy XIV schedules the next live letter on February 5

The next letter from Final Fantasy XIV producer and director Naoki Yoshida is taking place on February 5th at 10:00 p.m. EST. If the timing on that sounds at least somewhat familiar, congratulations! You remember that this is the same date as the game's announcement showcase that technically is announcing something as of yet unknown but […]

Following Gamigo buyout, Wizard101 keeps monetization and Pirate101 might resume development

Earlier this week, we covered the surprising news that Media and Games Invest, whose chief subsidiary is Gamigo and which is run by Gamigo's CEO, had bought out Wizard101 and Pirate101 studio KingsIsle Entertainment for a total of $126M with an additional potential $84M in earnouts for the owners. At the time, KingsIsle Lead Producer […]

Star Citizen shows off some new planet modification tools and lays out general plans for space combat

Star Citizen's weekly video series has come back online once again, and this week's episode moves from showing off yet another tool to discussing broad-stroke plans for ship-to-ship combat moving in to 2021. The first half of the video grants a look at some new toys that let the devs modify the surfaces of planets, […]

World of Warships was reprimanded by advertising regulators over misleading lockbox promo

We're 22 days into 2021 and we haven't had a gaming lootbox mess yet, but that ends today. As MMO Fallout first reported, the Cyprus Advertising Regulation Organization is apparently cracking down on Wargaming's World of Warships, which over the holidays ran a lootbox event whereby players could pay to spin a wheel to grab […]

WoW Factor: Does Blizzard have a messaging problem or a message problem?

A recent post over at Kaylriene's blog got me originally thinking about this one. The original posting here is actually about a different issue in the broadest strokes, pointing out the number of problems Blizzard has when it comes to effectively communicating changes being made in the game, why they're being made, and what players […]

Neverwinter's latest update on PC introduces a major rework to ratings, item level, and stats

The big-scale combat rework for Neverwinter has officially gone live on PC, bringing with it some major changes to how ratings, item levels, and stats work on characters, along with some patch notes that are probably the most number-heavy and deepest the game has ever seen. This rejiggering is meant to improve scaling, make it […]

Crowfall seeks to make attributes more meaningful and customizable in its next update

Strength. Dexterity. Constitution. We all know attributes like these are the hallmarks of RPG characters. Most of the time they're just numbers with varying but arguably mediocre effects on gameplay, but the devs of Crowfall are hoping to make those attributes more impactful with the arrival of update 6.400, as outlined in the first dev […]

Path of Exile broke its own player concurrency records with Echoes of the Atlas

So it looks as though Grinding Gear Games' decision to delay Path of Exile's Echoes of the Atlas from December to January was a pretty smart one after all, as the studio has announced this morning that Echoes did exceptionally well. In fact, it's apparently "its most successful expansion to date" with "new player number […]

Star Trek Online's overhaul of the Klingon starting experience concludes with improvements to Grethor

It's going to be a little while longer until the current major story arc in Star Trek Online wraps up, but before that happens you can have the conclusion of the Klingon starting experience revamp, as a treat. The latest development entry talks about the revamps coming to the missions set in Grethor, with new and […]

The Daily Grind: Do you reroll the same MMO classes over and over?

There's a whole group of MMO players who have always fascinated me: the type who keep rerolling the same characters over and over. For example, in Guild Wars 2, there's a slice of the population with dozens of character slots unlocked specifically so they can roll one character of every race and class combination, so […]

The Stream Team: Wrapping up the Blood Tide Pirate adventures in Dungeons & Dragons Online

The Blood Tide pirates in DDO just don't want to give up! They've apparently got some wild notion that they can become the most powerful military force in the Straits of Shargon. Well, MJ is not about to let that happen! While the pirates try to fortify their base on Mistral Island, she'll work on […]

Massively Overthinking: Retaking Quantic's survey to determine our 'gamer type'

Five years ago – yes, it's been that long! – we did an Overthinking in which our staff all took Quantic's survey to see our results about what type of gamer we are through the lens of the Gamer Motivation Model, a sort of a modern spin on the MMO-centric Bartle test by long-time gaming […]

Dauntless adds new Slayer's Path nodes, new equipment chases, and a named Skraev hunt in latest update

There's been a fresh patch applied to Dauntless, and while it doesn't have the weight of a new Escalation, it does have a number of activities for players to strive towards, especially those on the endgame side of things. Heading off the update list are some new Rumors that lead to two new pieces of […]

Closers takes aim at new accounts with bonus currency

The team behind Closers wants some new blood joining the game, and that means a new pair of events are now running for new accounts from now until February 16th. And what events might those be? What could help entice new players to try out the game? Bribery. Yes, these two new events are just for new […]

Drake's Odds: Survive is a multiplayer survival sandbox where you're an alien on Earth

We've got plenty of survival sandbox games where players are a human trying to live on a hostile alien world, but what if instead players were the alien invaders arriving to Earth? That's the basic premise of Drake's Odds: Survive, an upcoming new multiplayer survival title that effectively is what happens when Rust or DayZ […]