Manchester United Boss Issues Apology To Fans
After last Wednesday's humiliating home defeat at the hands of the Premier League's basement club, Sheffield United, Manchester United boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has made a heartfelt statement to the club's fans, officially apologising for his team's…Trump Asks To Borrow Air Force One
Claiming to be apologizing for calling Trump fatso, but seeking to add more flies into the ointment, Vladimir Putin invited Donald Trump for a one month all expenses paid visit to Russia. Not a pragmatist, Trump accepted immediately. Trump co…Newcastle United Manager Steve Bruce To Get Extra Help In Bedroom
It may have been an embarrassing week for Newcatle United manager Steve Bruce, who has faced the indignity of having an extra Coaching Assistant thrust upon him, but things got far worse today, when the Geordie's wife insisted upon enlisting the help…Britain - but not Northern Ireland - left the EU at the end of 2020, and importing and exporting has not been the same since. Geoff Turnip is an importer/exporter from Bishop's Prepuce who exports beef, and imports strudel. "Bringing in the strude…
History For Children: #1 Donald Trump
Once upon a time, there was a very bad man. In fact, he was more than a very bad man, he was a very, very, VERY, VERY VERY bad man, and one that had to be watched. His name was Donald Trump. Donald had lots and lots of money. He had SO much money,…First non-binary computer introduced
It is the largest milestone in computing since the invention of the internet-enabled fridge. This week, computer manufacturer BigHard has developed the world's first non-binary computer. The computer is called Bernard, but prefers to use the prono…Man Admits To Using Strong Language
The same man who said earlier that he was suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has now admitted that, from time to time, his language can be extremely colorful. And,…Sleepy Joe Talks To Vladimir: A Transcript Of The Private Conversation
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not all conversations are equal. But if you ever wished you were a fly on the wall, here’s your chance: This past Tuesday, President Biden was awakened from his Deep State sleep by the ringing of his ACME RED XXX TOP SECRET PHO…My Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" The Chicago Daily Wind has just announced that Michael Lindell, CEO of the My Pillow Corporation, and man who would marry Donald Trump in a nano-second, is standing in deep dodo, as they say down in Arkansas. Lindell, who…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News, has confirmed Rudy Giuliani’s story that Trump actually faked having the COVID-19 virus. Old Bug-Eyed Rudy told BBN that he, Ted Cruz, and Sara “Sponge Cake†Huckabee Sanders concocted the whole d…
Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Existence of Diabetes, Doppler Effect, Idaho, Teenagers….
WASHINGTON DC - ..Gravity, World War I, Egg Yolks, Newton’s Laws of Motion, Dictionaries, Limestone, the number 17, Bicycles, Climate Change, Climate Change Deniers, the Bond between a Boy and his Dog, Air Travel, Hungarians, that Best Buy ensures a…Boris Johnson discussing Scottish Independence with the Krankies
Wee Jimmy Krankie and the lesser-remembered Ian are in discussions with the UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, about an independent Scotland. Although the pair, best known for their 1980s antics, may not seem the best possible choice to discuss Sco…Bill Clinton Unable to Keep Nose in Mask; Denies that it is a Metaphor for Anything
WASHINGTON DC â€" In a political world full of symbols and nuance, people are looking to mask-wearing practices as a way of making intentions known. Spotted at the Biden Inauguration last week, it appeared that Bill Clinton was unable to keep his nose…Poor Donny. He doesn’t understand how clocks work. It's okay, because if you have your very own gold toilet, time doesn't matter! At 9:00 on election night, Donald Trump was on his way to a second four-year term in the White House. So he went to…
Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene of QAnon Is Actually a Russian Spy
WASHINTGON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The entire House of Representatives, Democrat and Republican, is up in arms over the evil terroristic antics of Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. iNews reports that the 46-year-old, extreme right wing supremi…Man's Cultural Experiences Make His Blood Boil
A man who says he is suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has admitted that, from time to time, he gets a bit angry. And, often, he becomes extremely irritable. M…Enron Shares Climb on Reddit Activity
NEW YORK - Enron (ENRN) is the hottest stock right now, with a massive “army†of internet-driven retail investors taking advantage of an incredibly rare scenario that’s driving up the stock price. ENRN closed at $65 on Friday, after reaching a high o…Twitter Cancels President Biden’s Account For Misspellings
BILLINGSGATE POST: The list goes on: Some self-righteous, dope-addled employee of Twitter has pulled the switch again, this time on President Biden. After cutting off President Trump, the My Pillow guy, Beaver Crossing farmer, Elmer Smuckmeister, an…Kerry Advises Out of Work Pipefitters to Eat Catsup
John Kerry, Biden’s new Clean Energy Czar, and possibly the most annoyingly in-bred, elitist virtue signaling giant twerp of all time, recently looked down upon the thousands of out of work pipefitters from his vantage point five miles above Montana…Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Alex!
I was a little dubious about my kid, Rick, going off to college at Berkeley. Radicals, Free Love, Riots, Direct Action, Boycotts, Arson. Whatever happened to the fun things, like the panty raids of my generation? And intersex dorms? But he got a grea…Ivanka Trump and Her Scary STD Scare
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida â€" (Satire News) â€" Followers of the ex-first daughter Ivanka Trump, say that the 6-foot-2-inch human giraffe has been trying to keep a low profile since her daddy got his ass kicked by President Joe Biden. The fake blonde has ev…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki, informed the press corps that, so far, President Biden has signed 273 Presidential Executive Orders cancelling all the dumb, stupid-ass shit orders that Trump signed. She st…
Elder Porn! Seniors Caught Exchanging Explicit Photos
Leisure Land Senior Village, Laguna Beach, CA. Special to The Spoof. Authorities here are cracking down on a ring of seniors - men and women - who have been using computers in the community library to circulate what are referred to as overly explicit…Man Squashed Bottle Top For No Apparent Reason
A pedestrian who was walking along a public footpath has said he isn't really certain why he did it, but claims to have trodden on a bottle top he saw, squashing it almost flat. The incident occurred at around 7:45 am this morning, as schoolteache…UK Miserable old Bastard moans about everything!
(NOT EDITED) John Joe Johnson, resident of a miserable town in Lincolnshire, UK, called Boston, is the perfect example of the actual town itself, bloody miserable! JJJ, is a renowned miserable bastard who ambles around the town moaning at everythi…Donald Trump Begs Twitter To Please Let Him Tweet Again
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida â€" (Satire News) â€" Melania Trump told Tiffany Trump that ever since her daddy got his ass banned from Twitter, he has been one big pile of ‘chit.’ The former first lady, and soon to be the former Mrs. Donald Trump, says that wit…Ted Cruz Says The Dildo Found in The Glove Compartment of His Kia Sorento is Not His
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" According to BuzzFuzz, Ted Cruz is now the most despised senator in the history of the United States senate. BF's Sonora Cahoots spoke with several Republican senators who said that Cruz is a damn embarrassment t…Patrick Mahomes and Tom Brady's Awesome Super Bowl Bet is Revealed
TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Sports Bet Gazette has just revealed that the two Super Bowl quarterbacks Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, have just made a fantastic bet with each other on upcoming Super Bowl LV, number 55 for those who don’t speak R…Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Getting Back Together
GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The word on the streets and the cheese shops of Green Bay is that Packers quarterback and his ex-NASCAR girlfriend Danica Patrick are getting back together. The two dated last year and even had a reality show called A…Man Marries His Gorgeously Sexy Blonde Blue-Eyed Robot Doll Girlfriend
FUKAHAMA, Japan â€" (Satire News) â€" Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend. Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunni…