MC Hammer Party Spoilt By Owner's Materialism
A house party thrown by one of the music world's most successful rap stars of the 1980s and early 1990s, MC Hammer, was a major disappointment according to one fan who attended the function at the star's home in Tracy, California. John Ingrate, wh…Seattle Cops Demand Antifa Justify Riots Or Lose Allowance
In Portland, where left-wing extremists shattered the windows of the headquarters for the Democratic Party of Oregon and graffitied its walls with anti-Biden messages, authorities are suddenly expressing dismay at continued violence. With the departu…Mexico To Open The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Diet Taco Stand
TIJUANA, Mexico â€" (Satire News) â€" Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday. Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody…Analysts say senator's “erection†mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats
Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways. Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated: “Make no mistake, ther…LeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls
Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, on Monday night, to establish a new NBA record of 25,115 uncalled fouls against him in his storied 18-year career. James got 26 no-calls in a 115-108 victory over the Cleveland Caval…One of The Stars of 4 Girls Fingerpainting Has Been Arrested
WEST HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News has just divulged that one of the featured actresses in the shock video 4 Girls Fingerpainting has been arrested at a Jack-in-the-Box in West Hollywood. Tammy Capizzio, 27, was taken into custody by…Man Makes Breakthrough In 18-Month-Old Sudoku
There were celebrations in one household this afternoon, when a man who started a Sudoku puzzle from the newspaper nearly 18 months ago but stopped trying to complete it when it became rather too difficult, made a chance inroad which may, ultimately,…Vladimir Putin Gets Into A Snit With Donald J. Trump
Hearing that Donald Trump had designs running for the Russian presidency, Vladimir Putin lost his usual X-KGB cool. Dismissing his feigned pause during rolling expressionless translations, Putin exploded and immediately blasted Trump for his threaten…Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West
(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning acto…In news that is sure to come as a bombshell to those in culinary circles, a man has revealed how a pie he bought from a bakery, at dinnertime today, had become stuck to the greaseproof paper casing upon which it was sat. Moys Kenwood, 57, purchase…
Trump To Run For President Of Russia
With Vladimir Putin having so much trouble with opposition leader Alexei Navalny, Donald Trump sees a possible opening and solution to his bankruptcy, jail sentence, Mar-A-Lago, and Apprentice cancelation, which is to escape to Russia, and then run f…DICKWEED, Mississippi â€" (Satire News) â€" Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…
GREEN BAY â€" (Sports Satires) â€" In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…
Man Urinates On Other Man's Trousers
Not content with making the common public urinal mistake of urinating all over a neighboring user's shoes, one man went a step further at the weekend when, hurriedly unzipping his fly to relieve his bladder, he 'lost control' of the situation, and so…President Biden’s New Press Secretary Makes Trump’s Press Secretaries Look Like Douchebags
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" White House press secretary Jen Psaki, during her first press conference, stated that, unlike Trump’s press secretaries, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Kayleigh McEnany, she will tell the truth, she won’t…Mike Pence A Hero And A Gentleman
After standing behind Donald Trump for the last four years and looking half asleep, former Vice President Mike Pence came to life in his last month of office, proving to be both a hero and a gentleman. Hard to say that about Donald Trump. Vice…Couple still haven't laughed at Radio 4 comedy programmes
Chutney on the Fritz couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson have admitted that, despite their best efforts, they are yet to find a single thing that Radio Four describe as comedy funny, or even rib-tickling. 'We listened to that thing with Robert Webb,…Biden Names Detrick “Dirty Trick†Detwiler To Head FBI
BILLINGSGATE POST: For the first time since J Edgar Hoover, the FBI will have a director who is not beholden to anyone. Today, President Biden announced that he is replacing Christopher Wray with a man who has no boundaries, a man who can’t be bought…Rupert Penny-Farthing, from Mithering on the Trent, has given up reading the Daily Mail. He gave it up as a New Year's resolution, but now, after more than three weeks, he knows that he is strong enough never to go near another copy of the tabloid fa…
Giggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles†Harris
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles†Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…Successful Space Launch from Sussex
Nosey neighbour Jess Curious was last seen rising swiftly from the roof of 25 Privet Road, Harshleigh, Sussex. Owner, Nona Yorbizniss, claims that Mr Curious insisted on testing her newly-installed high-speed lift - "Much more swift than your old sta…Trump's note to Biden at The Oval Office (now framed and under glass) leaked to the press
World leaders and social media are expressing outrage that Mr. Trump's farewell note to Mr. Biden has been exposed. Mr. Biden described the note as “a very generous letter.†Meanwhile, Mr. Bin Salman and Mr. Netanyahu have led a chorus of angr…Queen Invites President Joseph Biden To Tea
This telephone recording was made by skilled cyber communication traffickers. Learning that Queen Elizabeth had invited Joseph Biden to tea, former President Obama immediately got on the telephone with the Queen. President Obama was put on ho…Train spotter missing regular trains
Trainspotter Bob Montgomery, 58 from Cheddar Off Cut, a small town close to Chutney on the Fritz, is really missing having more regular trains. With Coronavirus restrictions in full place, fewer trains have been stopping or passing through Cheddar…Suicidal Liverpool FC fans break lockdown and jump in the Mersey!
(NOT EDITED) One hit wonders, Liverpool FC, are wondering why they are not 'top dogs' anymore while both Manchester clubs are 'rinsing' them this season after their first Premier League success since the Amoeba exited water! Their German manager,…Bill Cosby Divulges That Thanks To Trump He’s As Happy As a Squirrel With a Bucketful of Nuts
PHOENIX â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News has just confirmed that the happiest prisoner at The Phoenix State Prison For Criminals is Bill Cosby, aka inmate #91069. Cos, as he was called before he was charged with drugging, seducing, and boinking ov…Man Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet
A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet. Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashio…German truck load of pigs gets stuck in the mud!
Truck driving in rural areas during winter can sometimes be precarious especially when a farm sits on top of a muddy hill, and trucks loaded with live pigs need to reach the farm. One incident, which caused quite a stir (not fry), happened in a ti…New theory of politics vigorously denied in the halls of social media and congress
Professor Floutus Dignit of MIT has just emerged to the world stage with a theory he calls “similar to the problem of delirium tremens in the old days.†The delirium tremens malady occurs as a consequence of withdrawal from alcohol, with unpleasa…Biden’s Surprising New Executive Orders Stun (Some) Americans
Apparently true to his word that he would not waste time merely legislating when executive orders would suffice, President Biden has issued a new set of far-reaching orders that will fundamentally transform America. 1. First, the southern US bord…