Saturday, 12 September 2020

Weather Couldn't Make Its Mind Up

There was utter confusion and a good deal of frustration earlier today, when the weather in one part of the world just couldn't make its mind up what it was going to do with itself, and kept changing from one extreme to the other. Having risen ear…

Dallas Cowboys Head Coach Reveals Secret New Plays

The NFL season is up and running at last, and one team that is hoping for big things this year, are the Dallas Cowboys, who have high hopes of making it to Super Bowl LV in Tampa in February. And the Cowboys haven't been wasting their time in lock…

New Political Support Group

It shouldn't be surprising that certain groups of people are supporters of Trump in the upcoming presidential election. One such group would be the owners and operators of coal mines. Another might be right-wing militia organizations. While the ab…

Kaitlyn Jenner in world first procedure

Once the head of the Kardashian family, the former Bruce Jenner, Kaitlyn Jenner, expressed her boredom with life as a woman. So, in order to shake her life into something more substantial, Kaitlyn has announced she will transition to a four-legged an…

Falkirk Bairn Wins Hearts And Minds Of The Community…

A 10-year-old boy from Bainsford, Josh Sanderson, has won critical acclaim for the work he is doing in and around the town. His generosity has included picking-up litter along the canal, handing out food parcels for the elderly during the lock-down,…

Trump Virus Infects Entire White House

Washington, DC - Everybody at the White House has it. The entire Republican Party, too. Currently, so does forty-three percent of the United States. It is the disease known as the "Trump Virus". President Trump won't speak of it. He deflects, call…

9/11 Passes Off Without Incident For The Nineteenth Year In Succession

It's been nineteen years now since 11 September 2001, the day of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks, and, for the nineteenth year in succession since then, absolutely nothing of a similar nature took place. Today, Ground Zero, as it became k…

President Trump Plans to Give One of His Campaign Offices a Stimulus Check to Keep it From Having to Close

KLANVILLE, Alabama â€" (Satire News) - Reuters is reporting that President Trump has just learned that the GOP campaign office in Klanville may have to close. The office manager, Titus "Cornbread" Bofeedus, texted the president and told him he neede…

Trump People Misspell NOBEL Again

Woops, the Trump people did it again! They misspelled Nobel. When you make a silly mistake, you’re supposed to learn, grow, and never make it again. It's sort of like, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Amen! Several months ag…

Oregon wildfire smoke making it difficult for everyone to see his sick gains, complains Hexxus

(Oregon)-Hexxus, toxic apparition and avatar of the forces of Destruction, was last seen on a fiery ridge in the Oregon Cascades complaining about how no one was able to see his sick gains because of poor visibility. “You know it takes a lot of ef…

Jeff Bezos is Hinting That He May Buy The New York Yankees

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The baseball world has been rocked at the revelation that the world’s richest man, Jeff Bezos, is contemplating purchasing the New York Yankees. The King of Amazon told Sporting Chance magazine that, ever since he…

The Ku Klux Klan Says That, Thanks to President Trump, Membership is Up by 93%

COTTON BALLS, Georgia â€" (Satire News) â€" Ku Klux Klan Illustrated magazine is reporting that their membership has gone up by 93% just in the past six months. KKK spokesperson Roy Dell “Bubba” Griddle told KKKI that, thanks to all of the hate-spewin…

SFA Set To Overhaul The Whole National Set-Up…

In a week of earth shattering news on TheSpoof.com, 'Serial Suits' - The Scottish Football Association - have announced, this morning, that they will no longer be picking players on the strength of which clubs they play for. "We'll be going all ou…

NASCAR Suspends Another Driver

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida â€" (Sports Satire) - Officials at NASCAR have suspended another race car driver after several policy violations. Racer Mike Wallace, no relation to black NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace, was notified that he has been suspended du…

The Los Angeles Dodgers Are Kicking Butt

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" CBS Sports has informed the baseball public that the Dodgers are the number one team in all of baseball. The West Coast hardballers currently have an amazing win-loss record of 32-13. The Dodgers have some of the…

Kenny Logan Talks Rubbish Again!

Ex-Scotland 'star' Kenny Logan had to be rushed out of an assembly which housed 600 High School pupils this morning. He was there to talk about what a great and beautiful country Scotland is, and how future generations could benefit from looking afte…

Morrissey Set To Grab The Nobel Peace Prize…

The ex-Smiths frontman, who has been so outspoken over the years, is actually in line for the coveted gong. And, after decades of slating governments, regimes, artists, critics, bands, monarchy and even, dare we say it, religion. In a shock revela…

Parody Website TheSpoof.com To Trial New App

It's true! The much-loved and misunderstood website, TheSpoof.com, has been chosen to host the ultra-new Social Media app in March 2021. The news has come about due the algorithm that destroyed Facebook.com five years ago, now being found to have…

Panic In Times Square As Car Door Slams, And Balloon Bursts

NYPD officers were called to an incident in New York's Times Square this morning, after a man rather unnecessarily slammed a taxi cab door, and a child's balloon burst nearby. People all around dived for cover, hitting the ground, running into sho…

The Middle Class Guide to the School Run

Now that schools have reopened after our long lockdown, it appears that a growing number of parents have simply forgotten basic manners or, in some cases, what a car is. Here's a simple guide Where Park your ugly planet-killing 4x4 wherever…

Actor Attacks Disabled Fan

A crowd were left shocked this morning after Lily Allen, who recently became Mrs Harbour, was signing autographs, when she became involved in an incident with a disabled fan who reached out for the gorgeous singer, only to be met by Allen's jealous h…

Naomi Osaka Has Achieved The First Thing On Her Childhood Wish List

Naomi Osaka, the Japanese tennis starlet who is through to the semi-finals of the Women's US Open after her victory over Shelby Rogers, has revealed that she has achieved the first item on her list of 'Three Wishes' made when she was just a little g…

Fate of Belarus rests in chess game

The President of Belarus has agreed to a cut-throat game of chess with a person who has titled himself as the Keeper of Death. Pundits believe that Alexander Lucashenko has been pressured into the match by corporate heavyweights including Apple, IBM…

President Trump Lays Down His Personal Rules for the Upcoming Television Presidential Debate with Joe Biden

CHICKEN CREEK, Kentucky â€" (Satire News) â€" The president was in the “Chicken Shit Capital of the World” holding yet another “Maskless Non-Self-Distancing” presidential campaign hate rally. Chicken Creek produces more chicken droppings than all of t…

Satan Found Living On Devil's Island

In sensational news, this morning, it's been announced that the Dark Lord Satan has been discovered living - in all places - on the prison colony island of Cayenne in French Guiana - commonly known as Devil's Island. The island has not been used a…

Keeping Up With The Kardashians Has Just Been Named The #1 American Show in China

HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The matriarch of the highly popular reality show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” Kris Jenner, has just been given some good news by her agent. Mama Jenner, 64, the brains behind television’s top reality show, has bee…

The Lincoln Project Says President Trump is Misappropriating Taxpayers Money Like Crazy

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" There is no anti-Trump group that the Electoral College president hates more than the Lincoln Project. For one thing, every member is a Republican; and a Republican who knows that Donnie boy has about as much busine…

The NFL Football Season Finally Kicks Off

KANSAS CITY - (Sports Satire) - The NFL season finally kicked off at Kansas City's Arrowhead Stadium, which will soon be changed to The 7th Cavalry Stadium. The St.Louis Outlooker News noted that the namechange will be to appease the Red Lives Ma…

Satan to Open a New Circle in Hell for Evangelicals

SHEOLâ€"Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the new Press Secretary for Satan, announced today that the Dark Lord is opening a new circle in Hell, specifically for the overflow of Evangelicals who have been flooding His underworld domain ever since the 2016 electi…

Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Denies That He is Physically Involved With Miley Cyrus

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania â€" (Celebrity Satire) - The former star of the TLC reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, is denying that he and singer Miley Cyrus are an item. Jon Gosselin, 43, ex-husband of Aerosmith’s Stephen Tyler’s ex-girlfriend, Kate G…

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