Monday, 14 September 2020

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says His Helmet Was Too Big

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicked off their season with a disappointing loss to the New Orleans Saints, but the controversy here was after the game, when the Buccs quarterback, Tom Brady, apologised for his poor performance, saying that his helmet was…

German Aldi worker cracks smile and is sacked!

(NOT EDITED) International German giant supermarkets, Aldi and Lidl, have strict criteria about what their employees can do and must not do. One employee in one of their Berlin locations found out what it's like to break their regulations whilst sitt…

Tom Brady Said He Could Not Concentrate on Tampa Bay's Game Against the New Orleans Saints Because of Hurricane Sally

NEW ORLEANS â€" (Sports Satire) - Tom Brady revealed after the game that he was trying to hurry every chance he got, as his Tampa Bay Buccaneers played against the New Orleans Saints in the "Big Easy". Brady admitted that he did not play his best ga…

Queen Backs Full Return To Work

As calls from the general public to get back to normal, and to return to work continue to gather momentum, Her Majesty the Queen has waded into the row, and given her own personal backing to end the lockdown, saying she, herself, intends to get back…

The Dallas Cowboys Are Singing Those Cowpoke Blues as They Fall To The Los Angeles Rams

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) - The Los Angeles Rams inaugurated their brand new $5.1 billion stadium, SoFi Stadium. Due to the NFL budget being as messed up as it is, the usual Thunderbirds 4-jet fly-over was, instead, a one-helicopter fly-over,…

President Trump Tells Sean Hannity That He Actually Served in Vietnam

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - President Trump made a surprise appearance on Sean Hannity’s Fox News television show. He said that he is sick and tired of hearing that he received five military deferments due to his bone spur infections. The p…

Nobel Peace Prize A Bit Different Next Year

Nothing stays the same forever, even the Alfred Nobel Peace Prize, which, next year, will be adapted slightly, so that recognition can be awarded to those hardworking people who slave away in the manufacturing and processing plants at some of the big…

Why Is Trump Running For President?

Why is Donald Trump running for a second term? He should be running for the border, stopping at the first country that hasn’t signed an Extradition Treaty with the United States. Running along with him should be William Barr, Rudolph Giuliani, Mi…

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Refuse To Wear Face Masks

The Dallas Cowboys will kick off their season against the Rams on Monday night, but the big news is that the engine room of the team - the cheerleaders - have refused to wear face masks while performing their sideline routines. Cheerleading coach…

Chinese Interference Alleged

Hosiery enthusiast Damon Bunyon was shocked to find large holes appearing in several newly-acquired pairs of socks. “I was simply thinking of the planet,” said a shocked Bunyon, “by buying bamboo.” The Bamboo Sock Company (Bam!Sock!Co!) has been p…

The Coronavirus Has Caused Sales of Convertibles To Plummet By 313%

DETROIT â€" (Satire News) - The United States auto industry is reeling from the fact that sales of convertibles has spiraled down in just the past six months. Tab Vienna, a spokesman for Kia, said that sales of the once very popular ‘topless’ cars h…

Second Wave Of Covid-19 Prompts Boris To Bring Forward Christmas…

Prime Idiot, Boris Johnson, has pulled a prize turkey out of the hat during the latest session of PMQs. In a presser, a room full of journalists sat dumbfounded as he described his government's current festive dilemma. He choked, "Since forcing ki…

Weather now almost as popular as Donald Trump

A weather whistleblower has said that supposedly funny news stories about the weather are now almost as popular as other supposedly funny stories about the US president, Donald Trump. The claim was made by a contributor to the satirical news websi…

Infamous spoof writer hits jackpot, but doesn't receive a dime!

(NOT EDITED) The Spoof, with all of its 'agitations' and 'jagged-edges', still manages, sometimes, to reach out over the vast plethora of global internet media-news sites, and have a spoof or two published there. This opportunity is open to all sp…

Nevada Cheerleader Sacked

There was controversy all the way down the sidelines at the University of Nevada this week, when its football team - the Nevada Wolf Pack - took the extraordinary step of banishing one of its cheerleaders from the squad for failing to come up to its…

The Chicks Firefighters Telethon Raises $27 Million

LAS VEGAS â€" (Satire News) â€" The Chicks (formerly the Dixie Chicks) held a telethon to raise money for firefighting equipment. Lead singer Natalie Maines told Cowbell Notes Music Magazine that donations came in from every state in the union, except…

Kaitlyn Jenner in world first procedure

Once the head of the Kardashian family, the former Bruce Jenner, Kaitlyn Jenner, expressed her boredom with life as a woman. So, in order to shake her life into something more substantial, Kaitlyn has announced she will transition to a four-legged an…

The people who believe TheSpoof stories are true

What is the nature of reality? How do we know what we know? These are questions that have challenged philosophers since the dawn of time. Bob Ianson believes he has found the answers after watching a video on YouTube. "It looked very convincing,"…

Falkirk Bairn Wins Hearts And Minds Of The Community…

A 10-year-old boy from Bainsford, Josh Sanderson, has won critical acclaim for the work he is doing in and around the town. His generosity has included picking-up litter along the canal, handing out food parcels for the elderly during the lock-down,…

Man got elephant's tusk stuck up his bottom

Zookeepers at Chester Zoo were surprised this morning to hear the anguished cries of a man in pain in the elephant enclosure. Rushing to help, they discovered a man lying with his trousers round his ankles next to the Asian bull elephant, Jimbo, who…

Trump Virus Infects Entire White House

Washington, DC - Everybody at the White House has it. The entire Republican Party, too. Currently, so does forty-three percent of the United States. It is the disease known as the "Trump Virus". President Trump won't speak of it. He deflects, call…

Dallas Cowboys Head Coach Reveals Secret New Plays

The NFL season is up and running at last, and one team that is hoping for big things this year, are the Dallas Cowboys, who have high hopes of making it to Super Bowl LV in Tampa in February. And the Cowboys haven't been wasting their time in lock…

Weather Couldn't Make Its Mind Up

There was utter confusion and a good deal of frustration earlier today, when the weather in one part of the world just couldn't make its mind up what it was going to do with itself, and kept changing from one extreme to the other. Having risen ear…

Couple really now sick of his three jazz fusion albums

Couple Tracy Brassingthwaite and Martin Woods have been in lockdown since March, and are now both completely sick of the three jazz fusion albums he plays. 'At first, I thought it would be fine,' said Martin, 'but I have really been missing music…

Major League Baseball To Ban Bunting

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - ESPN-4 is reporting that MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred plans to issue a ban on bunting. The age-old baseball tradition of making a stab at the ball will soon be going the way of the spitball, corked bats, and jalap…

Conor McGregor is Quite Embarrassed at His Jaywalking Incident

ST. CROISSANT, France â€" (Sports Satire) - Former UFC champion fighter Conor McGregor was taken into custody by French policiers. Witnesses reported seeing the highly-tattooed McGregor walking on the sidewalk of the extremely busy Sauvignon du Char…

New Political Support Group

It shouldn't be surprising that certain groups of people are supporters of Trump in the upcoming presidential election. One such group would be the owners and operators of coal mines. Another might be right-wing militia organizations. While the ab…

President Trump Plans to Give One of His Campaign Offices a Stimulus Check to Keep it From Having to Close

KLANVILLE, Alabama â€" (Satire News) - Reuters is reporting that President Trump has just learned that the GOP campaign office in Klanville may have to close. The office manager, Titus "Cornbread" Bofeedus, texted the president and told him he neede…

Husband told that now Keeping up with the Kardashians is ending, he has to watch the box-set

Gary Johnson is not looking forward to what happens in 2021, as his wife, Lorraine, remembers a promise he sarcastically made in 2016. 'Yes, it is my own fault,' moaned Gary. 'I said to Lorraine that I would only watch Keeping up with The Kardashi…

Trump People Misspell NOBEL Again

Woops, the Trump people did it again! They misspelled Nobel. When you make a silly mistake, you’re supposed to learn, grow, and never make it again. It's sort of like, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Amen! Several months ag…

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