Blog archive

Wednesday, 18 November 2020

Lewis Hamilton Speech Gives Man New Impetus

A man has spoken out about one of motor racing's all-time greats, Lewis Hamilton, and about how a speech the driving champion made has given new impetus to his humdrum existence. Hamilton was speaking after he had won his seventh world driver's ch…

Man Accused Of Being Pompous

A man who was accused by another man of being 'pompous' in the forum section of a satirical news website, isn't really pompous, it's been claimed. In his 'Ode to this brain-dead Graveyard', writer Jaggedone wrote: "A place that I once cherished…

Donald Trump Is Called A Little Weenie

Donald Trump was referred to as a Little Weenie for not conceding, and insisting he won the election, which he did not win. So, what is a Weenie? More specifically, what is a Little Weenie? According to a Google search (one need not go any further…

Rip Van Biden Finally Wakes Up: Can’t Stop Talking

BILLINGSGATE POST: After six months of silent hibernation in his basement, Rip Van Biden finally wakes up and can’t stop talking. “This can happen,” says noted Sleep Therapist, Dr. Quasimodo, who heads the Deep Sleep Department at Harvard Univers…

Thousands of Fact Checkers File for Unemployment After Trump Loss and Defection of Right-wingers to Parler

Washington - After the Trump election loss, and after his millions of Facebook and Twitter followers and trolls decided to join a right wing platform called Parler, professional fact checkers have seen the handwriting on the wall, and are seeking un…

Did Aliens Hack The Election?

Associated Press, November 15, 2020: President Trump’s personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, told reporters today that he had overwhelming evidence that the November 3rd presidential election had been rigged. “Scientists,” he claimed, “had detec…

Man 'Just Knew' Des O'Connor Was Going To Die, One Day

There was sad news from the entertainment world last weekend, when it was announced that Des O'Connor, the veteran TV show host and entertainer for more than 45 years, had died aged 88, on Saturday. The news came as a complete shock to many people…

Chris Paul Is Leaving The Oklahoma City Thunder For The Left Coast

OKLAHOMA CITY - (Sports Satire) â€" Chris Paul, with The Oklahoma City Thunder, has finally gotten his wish, and is leaving the Thunder, and being shipped out west to join the Phoenix Suns. Sports Bet Gazette has been reporting that Paul was most li…

Watching The Crown After The Trump/Biden Election

Besides giving the United States former Vice President Joe Biden as the next President of the United States, miraculously, the fourth season of The Crown series also landed in the US on Saturday night. Filled with just about as much intrigue and p…

Should President Biden Pardon Donald Trump?

Should President Joseph Biden Pardon Donald Trump? No. No way. Never. Nyet. Nunca. Non. Nein, nein, nein! The next super-conservative criminal elected to the White House will be worse than Donald Trump. He or she will believe they are totally f…

President Trump New Book, 'Mein Kampf 2' Out Now

He may have been voted out of the most powerful job in the world, but Donald Trump isn't going away quietly, and today sees the release of his new book, 'Mein Kampf 2'. Chronicling the struggle he endured during his four years in the White House,…

Trump is Thrilled That Millions of His Base Are Abandoning Fox News and Going Over To Newsmax

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" It’s no secret to anyone who watches television that President Trump has divorced Fox News. The two used to be passionate bedmates until Fox stopped giving Trump the hot-and-heavy lascivious love he needed and de…

Aerosmith’s Lead Singer Steven Tyler Is Very Concerned About Not Being Able to Hit E Sharps Anymore

BOSTON â€" (Celebrity Satire) â€" Steven Tyler, singer for Aerosmith, recently admitted to Bravo's Andy Cohen that he is extremely concerned about his singing future. The Aerosmith frontman has said that, just within the past few weeks, he has noticed…

President Trump is Now Insisting That The Election Was Rigged By Circus Midgets

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider says that President Trump has been hiding in the Presidential Bunker, due to the fact that he is as embarrassed at losing the election in a landslide, as a priest who’s been caught reading a bo…

President Trump Finally Admits His Big Beautiful Border Wall Was Just a Waste of $4.9 Billion of The American Taxpayers Money.

MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump spoke at his latest post-election campaign hate rally before a crowd of 14 people, including a 99-year-old woman with an emotional support beaver. The President said that he will never admi…

Trump: "Voters don't decide elections, courts do"

For most people, the US election is over. Joe Biden won by a clear margin of 306-232 - coincidentally the same margin that Donald Trump won by four years ago. But Trump and his supporters have still not accepted the defeat. "We're going to take…

Dancing With The Stars Eliminates 2 Dance Couples, Setting The Stage For Next Week’s Fiery Championship

HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The original TV dance show, Dancing With The Stars keeps breaking viewer records. The show is watched in every state but one, and is viewed in 83 of the world’s 196 countries. A representative for North Korea, says…

GOP Asks Judge to Invalidate Election After Pineapple Inadvertently Added to Pizza Delivered to Vote Counters

Philadelphia - Running out of options after federal and state courts tossed all of their complaints filed to invalidate the election results In Pennsylvania, Republican lawyers led by Trump personal attorney Rudy Giuliani held a hastily-called news c…

Kim Jong-un Has Invited President Donald Trump to Visit Him in Late January, When He Becomes Unemployed

PYONGYANG, North Korea â€" (World Satire) â€" North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency, is reporting that President Trump’s BFF, Kim Jong-un, feels so bad that his buddy got his butt kicked by Joe Biden. The Kimster, as Trump calls him, has invited Trump…

Ex-3-Year-Old toddler sues Paul McCartney for nicking his lyrics to 'Yesterday!'

(NOT EDITED) Beatles lyric writers, McCartney and Lennon, are not quite what they are projected to be, especially Paul. After all these years of Beatlemania, the truth is gradually seeping out of red-brick-terraced-houses in Liverpool. A Liverpudl…

Confusion Over Word 'Pallets'

There was a storm in a teacup on an online satirical news website earlier this month, over the spelling of three similarly-sounding words landed one writer in a huge pickle, and an editor having to explain things to him in a schoolteacherly way. T…

President Trump Says He's Going To Cancel The Miss Arizona Beauty Pageant Because The State Flipped To Blue

PHOENIX, Arizona â€" (Satire News) â€" The 30 contestants who were to have participated in the 2021 Arizona Beauty Pageant have just found out that the pageant has been cancelled. Pageant coordinator, Yarvonna Pumpkinstone, 51, told the news media tha…

President Trump, The Lame Duck President, Says He's Planning on Invading Iran, Iraq, or Iceland

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A White House insider says that the President hates that everyone knows he's the biggest loser since Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arapio. Trump cannot stand that he could not cheat his way onto a second term, although he…

God Helps Pence

A voice was heard to ask “Do you need any boxes?” as President Trump walked away from his press conference this Friday, having again taken no questions from reporters. The craven President’s ears pricked up as he wondered whether he was being offered…

One of The 2020 NBA Draft’s Top Prospects is LaMelo Ball

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" LaLaLand Daily has announced that one of this year’s top NBA prospects is LaMelo Ball, of the legendary Ball Basketball family, led with an iron fist by patriarch LaVar Ball. LeVar who has a reputation for being a t…

Beyonce's candid admission

Entertainer and former Destiny's Child singer Beyonce Knowles has made the serious admission that she once experimented with cocoa and Hershey bars. The 39-year-old said that she was in her late teens when the dalliance with these substances occurred…

The NBA and The NFL Have Just Named Vice-President-Elect Kamala Harris The Sexiest Woman in Politics

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The New York World Register newspaper proclaims that a recent poll has found that players in the NBA and NFL find Kamala Harris to be the sexiest woman in politics. LeBron James, of the Los Angeles Lakers, said th…

President-Elect Joe Biden Says That Within 24-Hours of Taking Office, He'll Undo Every Presidential Executive Order That Trump Enacted

DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" iRumors is reporting that President-Elect Joe Biden, has been spending countless hours going over each one of the 823,402 Presidential Executive Orders that President Trump signed into law. The president-elect com…

Deep State Voter Fraud Thwarted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick Detwiler

BILLINGSGATE POST: Rack up the balls, boys. Put away the cues. The Trumpster is on his way, and he ain’t gonna lose. Warning, Trump-haters. This could be just another giant rat f*ck: Using undercover methods first developed by Slim and Dirty…

President “One Term” Trump Vows To Fire All 9 Supreme Court Judges

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" There is no doubt whatsoever that President Trump lost the popular vote, the Electoral College vote, and even the women who don’t mind him grabbing them by their you-know-what vote. But, like they say in the Show…

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