Man Is On Economy Drive

A man who had been experiencing severe financial difficulties before he eventually returned to work six weeks ago, has continued to exercise the spending constraints he imposed during the lockdown, claiming it is good practice for the future. Moys…

Armenia And Azerbaijan Settle Their Differences

There was good news from Europe tonight, after it was announced that two countries that have been disputing the 'ownership' of land for 32 years, Armenia and Azerbaijan, have, at last, managed to resolve their differences and put an end to the confli…

Little Lad Was Driving Mechanical Digger

We've all been shocked, at sometime in our lives, to see a motorbike flying past us with a clearly-underaged rider in the saddle, but such an experience would have paled into insignificance at the weekend, when a man saw a mechanical digger roll past…

Man Shocked At Size Of Kazakhstan

A Geography teacher in a local school has revealed how absolutely flabbergasted he was yesterday afternoon, when he went to look at a map of the world on a classroom wall, and noticed, for the very first time, just how large Kazahkstan is. Moys Ke…

Banana Republic in South America sues the US for nicking their system!

(NOT EDITED) A tiny nation in South America, run by banana cartels, has gone to the International Court of Justice in The Hague, demanding the US pay them five billion $ Bucks, or they will sue both candidates for plagiarism! Banana Republics in A…

Man Didn't Know Whether To Read, Or Listen To Music

There was major indecision on a large scale yesterday, when a man who was left with some free time on his hands couldn't, for the life of him, decide whether to spend the time reading a book, or listening to music. The opportunity for a couple of…

Man Was So Exhausted, He Couldn't Even Be Bothered To Look Up At The Clock

A man has revealed how he was so utterly exhausted by a morning at work, that he couldn't even be bothered to raise his head to look at a clock, in order to see what time it was. Moys Kenwood, 57, labored away at trying to impart some simple scie…

Trump claims Biden is half-Ugandan

In an astonishing statement from the White House, Donald Trump has claimed Joe Biden is ineligible to become President because he is half-Ugandan. "I have reliable information, 100 % true, that he was not born in Scranton Pennsylvania, but in Kampala…

Biden wants White House by Thanksgiving “to get on with it pronto”

Despite at least half a dozen states in dispute as to a reliable vote count, plus the onset of legal challenges, Mr. Biden is eager to move on. He has already been talking with foreign leaders (violation of the Logan Act), which put Trump and his…

Trump Nosed Out By “Hair Sniffing Prevert”

BILLINGSGATE POST: What a way to lose an election - being nosed out by a hair-sniffing prevert. White House insiders, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the President is having a difficult time adjusting to losing his White House digs to a…

Loser, A Play Coming Soon To Broadway

Loser, a play about Donald Trump, is coming soon to Broadway. Writers are working day and night, hoping to have it ready for its Broadway opening on inauguration day, January 20. As a homage to the highly successful play Hamilton, all dialogue i…

Trump claims title at 2020 US Masters Tournament, as Barr arrests all 92 contestants for stealing POTUS balls.

The 2020 US Masters is over even before Tiger (as the 2019 champion) could even launch his opening drive to inaugurate the tournament. And yet we have a winner! Taking time off from threatening the Supreme Court to Stop Counting the illegal votes…

UK bog-roll importer does mega-deal with German producer before 'UK Crap Hits the EU Fan!'

(NOT EDITED) Many Brit entrepreneurs are gearing up for the latest phase in EU-UK trade talks just in case BOJO cannot remove his head out of his rear-end in time, and allows the UK to crash out without a trade deal. One clever entrepreneur, who d…

New virus measures underway re protections from going loony

Led by the US, global administrators are reaching new heights of vaccine development. Nevertheless, public skepticism has been growing as the pandemic continues, although establishment politicians and media consider this resistance “entirely unrea…

Man Is Becoming Irrational Thinking About The New Lockdown

The long-term.effects of an extended lockdown were widely speculated upon in March, before it actually took place, but nothing had prepared people for what eventually came to pass. Spending more time with one's family is usually something worth ce…

William Barr is Too Busy Being Trump’s Personal Lawyer To Bother With Being The Nation’s Attorney General

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Boom Boom News reports that the United States Attorney General needs to be reminded that he works for the people of the United States. He is not the personal, suck-ass attorney of the jerk who legally lost the el…

Man Says His Children Are Already Technophiles

A staunch technophobe, who hasn't moved with the times, has claimed that his two young children are both technophiles, and that their knowledge and confidence when using machines is so far in advance of his own, that they have labeled him a technodip…

Disease Control Experts Have Just Named The White House as The Most Dangerous Place on Earth

PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island â€" (Satire News) â€" Scientists at Pawtucket’s Paul Revere University have just learned that the most dangerous place on Earth is the White House. The collegiate group noted that, just in the past three months, a total of 129…

Bed Bath and Beyond To Become Bed Bath and Beyonce

BEL AIR, California â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the nation’s most popular singers, Beyonce, is thrilled to announce that she and her husband, Jay-Z, have just purchased the national merchandise retail store, Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The company, which…

"Fight On, Mr. President" Says Graham, Whose Stiffest Competition for GOP Run in 2024 is Ivanka Trump

Charleston, South Carolina - South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, celebrating his resounding election victory after Trump-loving voters in his home state overwhelmingly returned him to office, urged President Trump to fight the election results in…

A Polar Bear From The North Pole Amazingly Swims Ashore in Puerto Rico

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico â€" (Satire News) â€" Telemundo has stated that beach-goers recently saw a full-grown polar bear swim ashore at San Juan’s Mucho Rum Beach. Witnesses said that the bear looked extremely tired, and animal experts said it must have…

An Emotional Support Parrot Disrupts a Flight From New York City to Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES â€" (Satire News) â€" The news media is reporting that an emotional support parrot totally disrupted a Jet Blue flight from New York City to Los Angeles. The Peruvian parrot, named Guinevere, but who has been dubbed "Polly the Insult Parro…

Getting Trump Out Of The White House

A contest is being held listing ways to remove Donald Trump from the White House. The election loss has not been accepted by the current resident, who insists (with absolutely no proof) that the election was stolen from him by Joe Biden. Sleepy J…

US Satire writers commit mass suicide because there's nothing more for them to spoof about!

(NOT EDITED) Internet spoof/satire sites are dropping like flies smelling poo on the ground, and getting their feet stuck in it! Global satire writers are hitting empty walls with impunity after their greatest subject has been blown into oblivion, a…

Food Critics Give McDonald’s Brand New McNachos a "3 Bravos" Rating

CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" The world’s number one fast food restaurant chain is always striving to keep one step ahead of the competition. The 26th floor of the McDonald’s headquarters building houses the lettuce department, as well as the departme…

Joe Biden To Donald Trump: "You're Fired!"

If there was ever any doubt about what the post-election relationship between President-elect Joe Biden and the outgoing president, Donald Trump, was likely to be, the uncertainty was removed earlier today, when Mr. Biden looked straight down the TV…

Donald Trump Being Evicted

Imagine being kicked out of the White House by 75,196,576 people. Now that is one serious eviction notice! Start your packing! What? No way! So Trump’s taking his rent-free, four-year renewal option to the U.S. Supreme Court. Somebody tell th…

Queen Elizabeth Says She’s Thrilled Beyond Belief That Joe Biden Beat President Trump In The Presidential Election

(NOT EDITED) LONDON â€" (Satire News) â€" London’s Tickety Boo News Agency is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, is as happy as a teenage girl on Soho’s Carnaby Street, with two of her dad’s credit cards. When the queen learned that President Trump ha…

Voter Fraud: “Project Quasimodo” Used To Bamboozle Voting Count

BILLINGSGATE POST: Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler, an undercover agent hired by Trump attorney, Rudy Giuliani, to investigate voter fraud in Philadelphia, revealed that he had broken the code of an underground voter clearance site, nicknamed “Projec…

San Antonio Spurs Assistant Coach Tim Duncan Resigns â€" Says He May Take The Cleveland Cavaliers Head Coaching Job

SAN ANTONIO â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Spurs coach Gregg Popovich has just announced that his former star player and assistant coach, Tim Duncan, has just resigned. Popovich, who was polecat hunting in Muckalica, Serbia, was shocked to hear that Tim had…