President Trump Is Cured!

In a somewhat astonishing and confusing announcement made just minutes ago, it has been revealed that President Donald Trump, diagnosed with the Coronavirus, COVID-19, just days ago, is already feeling much better, and is set to be given the 'all-cle…

Hand Sanitizer Found To Be Contaminated With COVID-19 Spores

Health officials who carried out a raid on a Chicago factory which produces hand sanitizer for use in the battle against the Coronavirus, have said they found the product was riddled with traces of the Coronavirus. The search team of CDC experts h…

Trump Demands Biden Infect Himself!

President Trump is furious over his having tested positive for Covid-19. During a phone interview, he said, “Biden, yes that one is a no-brainer. But I want his puppeteer, Jill Biden, infected too. By the way, I’m doing great, never better. Kungflu h…

Shark Chased Surfer Across Beach

Authorities in Perth, in western Australia, have released details of a terrifying incident in which a Great White Shark encircled a group of surfers in order to attack them, followed them out of the water, and pursued them over a sandy beach. The…

Waitrose Shoppers go on Panic Buying Rampage

As a second lockdown becomes increasingly likely, due to the dreaded virus, even Waitrose shoppers have begun to panic buy. Stores around the country are reporting shortages of black olives, ciabatta and sun-dried tomatoes. One branch in Berksh…

Trump Becomes a Liberal as Covid Affects His Brain

The White House, Washington, D. C. A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News. In his first press interview since being diagnosed with Covid-19, President Donald J. Trump revealed that the virus has devastated his brain, leaving him…

America weeps

Okay, so the whole world has been laughing at the States for 4 years. We all know that. It's looked on with disbelief, and often fear, while a narcissistic con artist has continuously insulted and fibbed to journalists, organizations and the planet a…

VAR Referees Haunted by Ghosts

After the English Premier League introduced new technology in the form of a Video Assistant Referee last season, it has been revealed that many of them are too terrified to actually watch a game, and are afraid that they are being haunted by the spir…

President Trump Says He Will Announce The Results of His Coronavirus Test After He Releases His Tax Returns

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The Baltimore Implier Journal is reporting that President Trump is now in quarantine because of the Coronavirus. Trump told the news media that he has just been tested, and he will release the results of the Covi…

Proud Boys group admit "we're not men"

In the recent presidential debate, Donald Trump disgracefully failed to condemn violent right-wing extremist group Proud Boys, and, in fact, seemed to encourage them. The Spoof tracked down their leader, Cornwallis Glasscock, 29, of Maryland, to f…

President Donald Trump’s Closest Adviser Hope Hicks Is Taking a Break

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - A White House staff member, who spoke to iRumors, on condition of anonymity, said that Trump’s closest adviser, Hope Hicks, has tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus. The staff member said that, lately, the…

Donald Trump Jr. Has Been Told By His Daddy To Break Up with Girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle or He’s Out of The Will

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after learning that her boo’s daddy has told him to dump her ass. It appears that the President has told Junior that he better dump that big-haired…

“No worries, I got this,” says Coronavirus germ left in charge of White House as President is in quarantine.

Washington D.C. The dramatic news, last night, that President Trump’s close advisor, Hope Hicks, has contracted the Coronavirus, has led to the President and others to self-isolate. Considering the news, the White House has been placed under the care…

Jessica Simpson’s Reality Show Wins An Award For Best New Reality Comedy Show

HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) â€" Jessica Simpson was thrilled at receiving the coveted Emmy Award for “Best New Comedy Reality Show”. Simpson stars in the Epitome Network’s “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys”. Simpson says she recently took some…

Donald Trump Secretly Agrees To An Out-of-Court Settlement With The Rolling Stones

CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump was told repeatedly by the Rolling Stones to stop using one of their songs during his campaign pep rallies. Mick Jagger flat-out told Trump, “Look, you orange-complected bloke, stop using our song ‘You Can…

President Trump Still Lying, Says He Caught The Coronavirus From The Portland Protesters

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Many news agencies are reporting that President Trump knew he had the Coronavirus three days ago, and hid it from the American people, and the world. A source inside the White House said that they were all sworn…

Leicester Dust Museum now looking for a new curator

Fictional Midlands tourist attraction Leicester Dust Museum is now looking for a new curator. Cleaner Mavis Davis said, 'Yes, we have had so much more dust in the museum since lockdown began, that we are now looking for a new curator of exhibits f…

Megyn Kelly Can’t Stand The Fact That She is No Longer Relevant

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - Former Fox News and NBC News flunkie Megyn Kelly spoke with Amos Soursuckle of GOPicky Magazine. The 49-year-old bleached blonde expressed to Soursuckle that she really misses being under the television spotlight.

Musician launching new song - Mask Tax

Musicians Van Morrison, Noel Gallagher, the one who nobody fancied in the Corrs, and Ian Brown have written, and are set to release, a new song, called Mask Tax. The three older blokes and Jim from the Corrs all have one verse in the song, and the…

Once upon a time in the Land of Nod, two wannabe leaders committed Hari Kari in public!

(NOT EDITED) Now children please pay attention! This piece of news might just be so pathetic, it might bore you to tears! Once upon a time in a Land called Nod, two village idiots (sorry village idiots, no insult, it's just these idiots want to be…

Spoof Writer So Exhausted He Nearly Didn't Write Story

A frequent contributor to a satirical news website has revealed how he was so exhausted tonight, that he came 'that' close to not writing a story for the site, and going to bed early for a well-deserved rest. Moys Kenwood, 57, who wastes time cobb…

President Donald Trump Says That The Proud Boys Are Just Flag-Waving Good Guys

SASQUATCH, Minnesota â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump is claiming that he won the biggest presidential debate going all the way back to April 13, 1787, when George Washington kicked Ebeneezer Follicle's keister. Trump told CNN’s Jim Acosta that…

Ivanka Trump Appeared on The Sean Hannity Show and Said Her Daddy Will One Day Be The King of The USA

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that President Trump’s favorite child was thrilled with her daddy’s debate performance. Ivanka, who is 6-foot-2-inches tall and weighs 119 pounds, said that she has never seen “Daddy Donnie” in…

Jaggedone sues The Eagles because they nicked his original 'Hotel California' lyrics called; Botox-Bar-California!

(NOT EDITED) The Eagles classic is a 'rip-off' of Jaggedone's most infamous poem written by him stoned out of his brains in a cinema watching Woodstock! The original text called: BOTOX-BAR CALIFORNIA gave Eagles lyric writer the idea to write their f…

The Presidential Debate Commission Has Just Slapped President Trump With a $200,000 Fine

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" President Donald Trump has just been informed that he has been hit with a $200,000 fine by the Presidential Debate Commission. According to Ling Chow Rangoon with the iRumors News Agency, the PDC was extremely upset…

Does this remind you of the pub on a Friday night?

Whilst watching the presidential debate between two old blokes in their seventies, with all fashioned views and remembering a better time, Stanley Bridgewater was reminded of his old Friday nights in the pub. 'I really miss those times,' said Stan…

Reduced Milk Was Off

A liter of milk that was purchased for half its normal retail price at a local supermarket was 'off', and not fit for human consumption, claims a human who tried to consume it. The milk, which was 'Full Cream', had been selling for its regular pri…

President Trump Tells The Presidential Debate Audience That He Is Not Going To Denounce White Extremist Groups

CLEVELAND â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump showed the entire world that he has the manners of a boa constrictor, as he threw Fox News moderator Chris Wallace’s debate rules out of the window. Trump carried on as if he was a World War II Nazi gene…

The NFL Cancels The Tennessee Titans vs. The Pittsburgh Steelers Game For a Chinese Reason

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he regrets to announce that he has decided to postpone the game between the Titans and the Steelers. Goodell said that medical tests showed that 13 Titans players had c…

Couple reading Fifty Shades of Grey for the comedy

Gary and Lorraine Johnson have revealed on their blog, and to its eleven followers, that they are now reading Fifty Shades of Grey for the comedy. 'We tried reading it seriously,' said Gary, 'but when we got to all of the sex bits, Lorraine just f…