Saturday, 12 September 2020

9/11 Passes Off Without Incident For The Nineteenth Year In Succession

It's been nineteen years now since 11 September 2001, the day of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks, and, for the nineteenth year in succession since then, absolutely nothing of a similar nature took place. Today, Ground Zero, as it became k…

Oregon wildfire smoke making it difficult for everyone to see his sick gains, complains Hexxus

(Oregon)-Hexxus, toxic apparition and avatar of the forces of Destruction, was last seen on a fiery ridge in the Oregon Cascades complaining about how no one was able to see his sick gains because of poor visibility. “You know it takes a lot of ef…

Trump People Misspell NOBEL Again

Woops, the Trump people did it again! They misspelled Nobel. When you make a silly mistake, you’re supposed to learn, grow, and never make it again. It's sort of like, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Amen! Several months ag…

SFA Set To Overhaul The Whole National Set-Up…

In a week of earth shattering news on TheSpoof.com, 'Serial Suits' - The Scottish Football Association - have announced, this morning, that they will no longer be picking players on the strength of which clubs they play for. "We'll be going all ou…

Panic In Times Square As Car Door Slams, And Balloon Bursts

NYPD officers were called to an incident in New York's Times Square this morning, after a man rather unnecessarily slammed a taxi cab door, and a child's balloon burst nearby. People all around dived for cover, hitting the ground, running into sho…

The Middle Class Guide to the School Run

Now that schools have reopened after our long lockdown, it appears that a growing number of parents have simply forgotten basic manners or, in some cases, what a car is. Here's a simple guide Where Park your ugly planet-killing 4x4 wherever…

Morrissey Set To Grab The Nobel Peace Prize…

The ex-Smiths frontman, who has been so outspoken over the years, is actually in line for the coveted gong. And, after decades of slating governments, regimes, artists, critics, bands, monarchy and even, dare we say it, religion. In a shock revela…

Kenny Logan Talks Rubbish Again!

Ex-Scotland 'star' Kenny Logan had to be rushed out of an assembly which housed 600 High School pupils this morning. He was there to talk about what a great and beautiful country Scotland is, and how future generations could benefit from looking afte…

Parody Website TheSpoof.com To Trial New App

It's true! The much-loved and misunderstood website, TheSpoof.com, has been chosen to host the ultra-new Social Media app in March 2021. The news has come about due the algorithm that destroyed Facebook.com five years ago, now being found to have…

Naomi Osaka Has Achieved The First Thing On Her Childhood Wish List

Naomi Osaka, the Japanese tennis starlet who is through to the semi-finals of the Women's US Open after her victory over Shelby Rogers, has revealed that she has achieved the first item on her list of 'Three Wishes' made when she was just a little g…

Actor Attacks Disabled Fan

A crowd were left shocked this morning after Lily Allen, who recently became Mrs Harbour, was signing autographs, when she became involved in an incident with a disabled fan who reached out for the gorgeous singer, only to be met by Allen's jealous h…

President Trump Lays Down His Personal Rules for the Upcoming Television Presidential Debate with Joe Biden

CHICKEN CREEK, Kentucky â€" (Satire News) â€" The president was in the “Chicken Shit Capital of the World” holding yet another “Maskless Non-Self-Distancing” presidential campaign hate rally. Chicken Creek produces more chicken droppings than all of t…

The NFL Football Season Finally Kicks Off

KANSAS CITY - (Sports Satire) - The NFL season finally kicked off at Kansas City's Arrowhead Stadium, which will soon be changed to The 7th Cavalry Stadium. The St.Louis Outlooker News noted that the namechange will be to appease the Red Lives Ma…

Satan Found Living On Devil's Island

In sensational news, this morning, it's been announced that the Dark Lord Satan has been discovered living - in all places - on the prison colony island of Cayenne in French Guiana - commonly known as Devil's Island. The island has not been used a…

The Lincoln Project Says President Trump is Misappropriating Taxpayers Money Like Crazy

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" There is no anti-Trump group that the Electoral College president hates more than the Lincoln Project. For one thing, every member is a Republican; and a Republican who knows that Donnie boy has about as much busine…

Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Denies That He is Physically Involved With Miley Cyrus

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania â€" (Celebrity Satire) - The former star of the TLC reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, is denying that he and singer Miley Cyrus are an item. Jon Gosselin, 43, ex-husband of Aerosmith’s Stephen Tyler’s ex-girlfriend, Kate G…

Keeping Up With The Kardashians Has Just Been Named The #1 American Show in China

HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The matriarch of the highly popular reality show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” Kris Jenner, has just been given some good news by her agent. Mama Jenner, 64, the brains behind television’s top reality show, has bee…

Nobody Reading The Spoof Anymore

According to sources 'close to the hub', very few people are bothering to make the effort to read content on satirical news website TheSpoof.com It's not quite 'nobody', but you get the drift. The site, a going concern since 2001, has, for thos…

Large Hadron Collider: sex appeal

The CERN Large Hadron Collider has been acclaimed by the worldwide scientific community as a brave move forward for humanity. Now its appeal has broadened to include the sexiest people in tinsel town. Yes, Hollywood. Women such as Halle Berry and…

Man Has Been Invited To House Party Tomorrow Morning

A man who has any number of things that he'd much rather be doing instead, has received an invitation to attend a 'New House' party tomorrow morning, starting at 8 o'clock. The new house in question belongs to the Cambodian brother-in-law of Moys…

Satan to Open a New Circle in Hell for Evangelicals

SHEOLâ€"Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the new Press Secretary for Satan, announced today that the Dark Lord is opening a new circle in Hell, specifically for the overflow of Evangelicals who have been flooding His underworld domain ever since the 2016 electi…

Serial Killers back in Vogue!

(NOT EDITED) You name them, and they will always come back and entertain us, or haunt us! Way back in the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties, psychos ruled the screens locking millions into cinemas and scaring the pants off of film goers!…

Five Ways To Tell You've Already Had Covid-19

The Coronavirus, Covid-19, continues to spread, and the worldwide number of infected cases continues to rise. Doctors say that, even after almost nine months of having to deal with the virus, their knowledge is extremely limited. Incubation per…

President Trump Reveals in Michael Cohen’s Book That He Loves To Lie and Actually Enjoys it More Than Sex

HICKORY NUTS, North Carolina â€" (Satire News) - The president took his Presidential Hate Campaign to the Hickory Nuts Capital of the World. After spewing his standard 82 lies per speech, he closed by saying that he does not understand why the enemy…

Ian Brown Snubs Everybody Including Wales…

In a 'leek' report handed to Spoof News, ex-Stone Roses frontman and current twitter activist has disowned his entire fanbase, including Wales. A hardcore group of fans from Cardiff have challenged him on his blatant disregard for his Welsh follo…

Kanye West Stubbornly Refuses To Drop out of The Presidential Race

BUFFALO NIPPLES, Wyoming â€" (Satire News) - The man who is best known for being the husband of Kim Kardashian told TMZ that he feels that he is picking up more and more voters. Fargo Windmill with the Political Drive-Thru Window asked him why he th…

Mean Old Man Loses His Voice By Yelling At 'Covid-19 Detourers' To Get Off His Grass

We've all encountered them-- the nasty, ornery old guys that can't stand it when you get anywhere near their front lawn. And now one man in the suburbs has lost his voice by yelling at so many 'Covid-19 Detourers', that he's been forced to use a meg…

Gwyneth Paltrow Named US Surgeon General

WASHINGTON â€" Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has long been a proponent of alternative healing, as seen in her online shopping website, goo.com. Now, she will be able to take her message to a much larger audience, as she prepares to be sworn-in as the US Surg…

Pandemic Puts Women Back In Their Place…

A study into the growing problems brought about by the current pandemic has discovered a shocking amount of information. Most notably, mental health cases have risen slightly, but the majority of smokers and drinkers have cut back dramatically so the…

Bob Woodward Alleges in His Tell-All Book That Trump’s Goal is to Start a Modern-Day Civil War

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - Famed Watergate reporter and author Bob Woodward joins a long list of writers who have written books on the most amazing president in the history of presidents. In Woodward's book, titled, "The Liar-in-Chief", he…

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