Blog archive

Thursday, 17 September 2020

Man To Make His Own Face Mask Out Of Baby Diaper

With the Coronavirus showing no signs of wanting to go away, one man has decided that it's finally time to start taking things a bit more seriously, and start wearing a face mask. Never one to do things by halves, however, he plans to make his own…

Easy Listening Music Enthusiasts In Call For Equality

We're constantly told that we should not judge people or discriminate against them because of their color, sex, gender orientation, religion, or political stance, and now comes the latest warning - to stop judging people because of the music they lis…

Joe Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) Biden

BILLINGSGATE POST: Kamala “Breath” Harris, Joe Biden's running mate in the 2020 election, raised eyebrows on Monday evening after she accidentally touted economic plans under a "Harris administration." "A Harris administration, together with Joe B…

Trump Confesses He Can’t Win 2020 Election

Donald Trump has confessed that he can not win the 2020 election. At least, not honestly. So he condemned mail-in or absentee ballots, which are safe ways to avoid being exposed to the coronavirus. However, both leave a paper trail. Trump doesn't lik…

President Putin Tells President Trump Not to Worry â€" The Election is in the Bag

MOSCOW â€" (Satire News) - A very reliable source within the White House has stated that Russian President Vladimir Putin has informed President Trump not to worry about the upcoming election. The source said Putin assured the Trumpster that victory…

UK crawls up US rear end and vanishes!

(NOT EDITED) A tiny island in the middle of nowhere has decided to beg its big brother, over there, somewhere, to suck it up, and make sure it disappears into the Atlantic Ocean determined to become a Stars and Stripes satellite state. Political m…

Lionel Messi Says He Plans to Run For President of Argentina When He Leaves Barcelona

BARCELONA â€" (Sports Satire) - Noticias Hispanicas is reporting that Barcelona footballer Lionel Messi, has commented that his next goal is to become the president of his motherland, Argentina. The superstar, stated that he misses the Argentinian P…

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Has Laid A Bet That His Team Will Get To The Super Bowl

Tampa Bay, Fl - In a remarkable show of confidence in the ability and determination of his new football team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback, Tom Brady, has bravely 'put his money where his mouth is', and placed a bet on the Buccs to reach Supe…

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Makes a Big Announcement Regarding The Black Lives Matter Movement

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell spoke with members of the sports media on the ongoing controversy regarding the kneeling issue. The commissioner wanted to point out that he has ruled that those players who want to…

Pele Says Two of His Star Soccer Players Have Tested Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs

SAO PAULO, Brazil â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Amazon News is reporting that the president of the Sao Paulo Red Grasshoppers, Pele, is very disappointed in two of his star players. Sao Paulo striker Galixico Saludos and goalkeeper Allegro Cabeza de Vaca ha…

Trump Announces Peace Accord With Seychelles and Mauritius

The White House, Washington D. C. Woof Blister with another SINful report for Spoof International News. Exclusive to The Spoof. President Donald J. Trump today, on the White House lawn, proudly announced a peace accord between two countries in Sout…

Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier Rode Side-Saddle

BILLINGSGATE POST: Inexplicably, when Joe Biden called a woman a “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” at a campaign stop in New Hampshire in February, he may have not known the origin of this line. Biden’s spokesman said the line comes from a John Wayn…

Bob Woodward Has Painted His Fence

After the recent controversy surrounding the release of 'Rage', his book about President Donald Trump, Bob Woodward, the investigative journalist and best-selling author, has been taking a more leisurely approach to things, and last week, painted his…

Woodward Discovers Missing Minutes on Trump Tapes

Arlington, Va - Reporter Bob Woodward announced, yesterday, that over eighteen minutes from his Trump White House tapes were erased. "I don't know what happened," tweeted Woodward. "I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. In fact, it w…

Senate Rejects Bill to Bring Indoor Plumbing to Capitol Building

WASHINGTON â€" In a close vote, the US Senate has voted 51-49 not to move forward with HR 6006 that would have brought indoor plumbing to the Capitol Building. “The Republican Senate is getting tired of these radical left-wing proposals coming from…

Amazon Mix-Up Sees Man Receive Hunting Rifle

A Hounslow man was shocked to find that, instead of the expected delivery of a Sony 60-inch television, he, instead, received a Steyr Mannlicher Pro Hunter rifle. Mike Illingdeer said, "I'd been looking forward to setting up a new telly at the end…

Parents Who Thought Their Son Had A Unique Name Disappointed To Find Out They Were Wrong

A couple who believed they had given their baby son a name that was unique throughout the entire world, have spoken about the disappointment they experienced when they found out they were wrong. Brian and Jackie Smith, from Kansas, already had a d…

Two Disgruntled Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Throw Jerry Jones Under the Bus

DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" ESPN-4 is reporting that two veteran Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are extremely upset with the way owner Jerry Jones treats them. Melody Manzanita, 24, and Dolly Dally, 21, have filed charges against Jones, claiming that,…

Trump’s Coronavirus Vaccine Is Coming, Uh Huh, Like His Tax Returns

As a win-win tactic to cover up his failure at warning Americans back in January about the coronavirus, Donald Trump today announced that a vaccine would be ready as soon as election day, November 3, 2020. Maybe even sooner. Voters are supposed to…

President Trump Says That The Audio Tapes of Him Using the Dreaded “N” Word Are Fake

ENCHILADA LAKE, California â€" (Satire News) - A White House insider says that the president is literally foaming at the mouth at a recent report. Wikileaks has allegedly obtained several hours' worth of audio tapes, in which the self-proclaimed ‘le…

German Aldi worker cracks smile and is sacked!

(NOT EDITED) International German giant supermarkets, Aldi and Lidl, have strict criteria about what their employees can do and must not do. One employee in one of their Berlin locations found out what it's like to break their regulations whilst sitt…

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says His Helmet Was Too Big

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicked off their season with a disappointing loss to the New Orleans Saints, but the controversy here was after the game, when the Buccs quarterback, Tom Brady, apologised for his poor performance, saying that his helmet was…

Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Furious at the Referees Missed Calls, Files a $21 Million Lawsuit

DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Jerry Jones was interviewed by a reporter with CBS Sports, and Jones told him his team should be 1-0, but instead they’re 0-1 due to lots of missed calls by the refs. Jones said that referee Nicky “Bubba” Biggaboro, 42,…

Kate Gosselin Shocked at Ex-Husband Jon's Arrest

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) - The original queen of TV’s reality shows is shocked at hearing of her ex-husband, Jon Gosselin’s arrest. The tall, svelte blonde who starred with Jon on the reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” cannot beli…

Biden Promises to Calm Hurricanes in His First Term

Speaking today from Wilmington Delaware, Presidential Candidate Joe Biden said, "Donald Trump's climate denial may not have caused these fires and record floods and record hurricanes, but if he gets a second term, these hellish events will continue t…

Uncomfortable Silence In Police Station As Man Bellows "See You Next Tuesday!"

There was a 'tumbleweed moment' at a local police station yesterday, as a man being released from custody, and told to report back to the station next week, gave a cheery goodbye to the uniformed member of staff, telling him: "See you next Tuesday…

Tom Brady Said He Could Not Concentrate on Tampa Bay's Game Against the New Orleans Saints Because of Hurricane Sally

NEW ORLEANS â€" (Sports Satire) - Tom Brady revealed after the game that he was trying to hurry every chance he got, as his Tampa Bay Buccaneers played against the New Orleans Saints in the "Big Easy". Brady admitted that he did not play his best ga…

Covid-19 Complaint Line Opening Soon

The UK Government have opened a Covid-19 complaint line. Harry Enfield lookalike, Michael Gove, told us, "What, with all the to-ing and fro-ing about whether we're locked down or up … and whether we can drive blind or not … we recognise that t…

Senate Republicans Racing To Trump’s Defense

Senate Republicans are rolling out of bed, instantly defending Trump’s failed actions on the coronavirus pandemic. Yes, Trump played golf. Yes, Trump watches a lot of television. So he said coronavirus was like a bad cold, and that it would go away l…

Falkirk Bairn Wins Hearts And Minds Of The Community…

A 10-year-old boy from Bainsford, Josh Sanderson, has won critical acclaim for the work he is doing in and around the town. His generosity has included picking-up litter along the canal, handing out food parcels for the elderly during the lock-down,…

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