Blog Archive

Sunday, 4 October 2020

President Trump To Take Part In Second Presidential Debate From His Sick Bed

After the high drama and the low intellect of the first presidential debate between Donald Trump and his rival, Joe Biden, and the President's subsequent Coronavirus diagnosis, it's been decided that, for the second debate, Trump will take part from…

Trump Was Intentionally Infected with the Virus

President Donald Trump’s enemies are certainly gloating with news of his recent diagnosis. In their view, he is getting what he deserves for his personal carelessness and mismanagement of the pandemic. There is, however, good reason to believe that…

President Trump Coronavirus Misdiagnosed

In the aftermath of the news that the most powerful man in the world, President Donald Trump, has tested positive for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, words are coming from the man, himself, that it is yet another case of fake news, and that he's ne…

Putin poisons HIM!

(NOT EDITED) In an attempt to manipulate the coming US election, Putin sent one of his spies into the White House, disguised as a sous-chef. Security screening the spy were too busy keeping HIM away from Chancellor Merkel just in case she sneezed on…

President Trump Is Cured!

In a somewhat astonishing and confusing announcement made just minutes ago, it has been revealed that President Donald Trump, diagnosed with the Coronavirus, COVID-19, just days ago, is already feeling much better, and is set to be given the 'all-cle…

Is Trump Liable If Supremacists Injure Biden Voters?

The ghost of Ruth Bader Ginsburg was asked whether she thought if one of the Proud Boys, or a member of the Boogaloo Boys, or any other white supremacists supporters of Trump, were to kill or injure a voter while attempting to cast their Biden vote,…

President Trump Says He's Feeling a Bit Better After His Doctor Put Him on a Strict Anti-Coronavirus McDonald’s Food Regimen

BETHESDA, Maryland â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump was flown to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in a U.S. Army Sikorsky UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter. Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that they had to use a military helicopte…

Political Pundits Claim That Donald Trump’s Chances of Getting Re-Elected Are Now Slim to None

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News). Most of the nation’s political pundits agree that Trump’s chances of getting re-elected are now slim to none. One pundit with Tittle Tattle Tonight said that he believes that 93-year-old Betty White has a better chan…

Hand Sanitizer Found To Be Contaminated With COVID-19 Spores

Health officials who carried out a raid on a Chicago factory which produces hand sanitizer for use in the battle against the Coronavirus, have said they found the product was riddled with traces of the Coronavirus. The search team of CDC experts h…

The Trump Women Say That Coronavirus Masks Are So Ugly

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" All of the Trump women sat mask-less at the recent presidential debate. Cameras caught Melania, Ivanka, Tiffany, Lara, and Kimberly (Guilfoyle), not wearing their masks, and looking like the cats that ate the ca…

Trump Demands Biden Infect Himself!

President Trump is furious over his having tested positive for Covid-19. During a phone interview, he said, “Biden, yes that one is a no-brainer. But I want his puppeteer, Jill Biden, infected too. By the way, I’m doing great, never better. Kungflu h…

The Jacksonville Jaguars May Have to Change Their Name

JACKSONVILLE, Florida â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has informed the sports world that the Jacksonville Jaguars could be looking at a lawsuit. It appears that the Jacksonville football team has been using the name Jaguars w…

40 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Are Tested For The Coronapalooza Virus and 2 Tested Positive

DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told Sports Territory Magazine, that two of the forty Cowboy cheerleaders have contracted the C-19 virus. He said that Samantha Winnipeg, 27, and Cleo Denderdoogan, 24, will be quarantine…

Shark Chased Surfer Across Beach

Authorities in Perth, in western Australia, have released details of a terrifying incident in which a Great White Shark encircled a group of surfers in order to attack them, followed them out of the water, and pursued them over a sandy beach. The…

America weeps

Okay, so the whole world has been laughing at the States for 4 years. We all know that. It's looked on with disbelief, and often fear, while a narcissistic con artist has continuously insulted and fibbed to journalists, organizations and the planet a…

Waitrose Shoppers go on Panic Buying Rampage

As a second lockdown becomes increasingly likely, due to the dreaded virus, even Waitrose shoppers have begun to panic buy. Stores around the country are reporting shortages of black olives, ciabatta and sun-dried tomatoes. One branch in Berksh…

Trump Becomes a Liberal as Covid Affects His Brain

The White House, Washington, D. C. A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News. In his first press interview since being diagnosed with Covid-19, President Donald J. Trump revealed that the virus has devastated his brain, leaving him…

Donald Trump Jr. Has Been Told By His Daddy To Break Up with Girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle or He’s Out of The Will

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after learning that her boo’s daddy has told him to dump her ass. It appears that the President has told Junior that he better dump that big-haired…

President Trump Says He Will Announce The Results of His Coronavirus Test After He Releases His Tax Returns

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The Baltimore Implier Journal is reporting that President Trump is now in quarantine because of the Coronavirus. Trump told the news media that he has just been tested, and he will release the results of the Covi…

President Trump Still Lying, Says He Caught The Coronavirus From The Portland Protesters

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" Many news agencies are reporting that President Trump knew he had the Coronavirus three days ago, and hid it from the American people, and the world. A source inside the White House said that they were all sworn…

Besides Having A Sense Of Humor, God Loves A Democracy

Besides having a sense of humor, God loves a democracy, and don’t kid yourself, four more years of Trump with Barr as his Attorney General and a spineless, complicit Republican Senate with Mitch McConnell at the helm, would have been the end of this…

Proud Boys group admit "we're not men"

In the recent presidential debate, Donald Trump disgracefully failed to condemn violent right-wing extremist group Proud Boys, and, in fact, seemed to encourage them. The Spoof tracked down their leader, Cornwallis Glasscock, 29, of Maryland, to f…

VAR Referees Haunted by Ghosts

After the English Premier League introduced new technology in the form of a Video Assistant Referee last season, it has been revealed that many of them are too terrified to actually watch a game, and are afraid that they are being haunted by the spir…

President Donald Trump’s Closest Adviser Hope Hicks Is Taking a Break

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - A White House staff member, who spoke to iRumors, on condition of anonymity, said that Trump’s closest adviser, Hope Hicks, has tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus. The staff member said that, lately, the…

“No worries, I got this,” says Coronavirus germ left in charge of White House as President is in quarantine.

Washington D.C. The dramatic news, last night, that President Trump’s close advisor, Hope Hicks, has contracted the Coronavirus, has led to the President and others to self-isolate. Considering the news, the White House has been placed under the care…

Jessica Simpson’s Reality Show Wins An Award For Best New Reality Comedy Show

HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) â€" Jessica Simpson was thrilled at receiving the coveted Emmy Award for “Best New Comedy Reality Show”. Simpson stars in the Epitome Network’s “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys”. Simpson says she recently took some…

Donald Trump Secretly Agrees To An Out-of-Court Settlement With The Rolling Stones

CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump was told repeatedly by the Rolling Stones to stop using one of their songs during his campaign pep rallies. Mick Jagger flat-out told Trump, “Look, you orange-complected bloke, stop using our song ‘You Can…

Megyn Kelly Can’t Stand The Fact That She is No Longer Relevant

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - Former Fox News and NBC News flunkie Megyn Kelly spoke with Amos Soursuckle of GOPicky Magazine. The 49-year-old bleached blonde expressed to Soursuckle that she really misses being under the television spotlight.

Leicester Dust Museum now looking for a new curator

Fictional Midlands tourist attraction Leicester Dust Museum is now looking for a new curator. Cleaner Mavis Davis said, 'Yes, we have had so much more dust in the museum since lockdown began, that we are now looking for a new curator of exhibits f…

Musician launching new song - Mask Tax

Musicians Van Morrison, Noel Gallagher, the one who nobody fancied in the Corrs, and Ian Brown have written, and are set to release, a new song, called Mask Tax. The three older blokes and Jim from the Corrs all have one verse in the song, and the…

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