Blog archive

Friday, 20 November 2020

Teacher Taught Students To Speak English Like EastEnders Characters

A teacher at a school in Bangkok has told how he came up with a new, interesting and, quite frankly, stupid method of helping his students to become proficient in English, by having them model their speech on that of the characters in the BBC's long-…

Computer Offered FreeCell Player Very Poor Hint

A Microsoft computer game which a man was playing has been accused of offering a 'hint' that was unhelpful, misleading and, indeed, totally inappropriate if we are to think the facility is provided so that players might successfully accomplish the ta…

Donald Trump’s Last Big Deal

Donald Trump’s “golden” years don’t look promising. He is burdened with personally guaranteed debt that will be difficult to refinance; besieged by lawsuits, which he will not be able to delay much longer; and being badgered by a number of state att…

Astronaut breaks wind to set a record.

A Space X astronaut who recently joined the International Space Station has set an unusual record when he commenced his first spacewalk yesterday. Colonel J. Peabody Cromwell, a US Army Regular, can now claim to have released the longest fart in the…

Better to do it in the road

Prospective parliamentary candidate for Barnet, Shaw Tearcutt, is applauding the efforts of British hairdressers to fight back against the effects of Covid-19 restrictions. "Indeed," says Mr Tearcutt, "only we enterprising Brits could come up wit…

No fake Daily Mail, or Express headlines here, just fake headlines between the lines!

(NOT EDITED) Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters have been scurrying into smudgy places only they can reach, and have come up with today's news headlines: DEAD OR ALIVE? Trump, has ordered a Funeral Parlor to drag his dead-bod…

Dr. Scott Atlas Awarded (MOTLY) Man of the Latest Year by NFDMA

Dr. Scott Atlas named “Man of the Year” THE WIRED STREET JOURNAL REPORTER; KR SCHWARTZ November 18th, 2020 White House Coronavirus Task Force MIC (Mountebank-in-Chief) Dr. Scott Atlas has just been named “Man of the Year” by the NFDMA (Natio…

Customers flee as geriatric biker gangs clash outside Saddleworth tea rooms

Police were called to Mother Fanshaws tea rooms in Uppermill, to deal with an outbreak of violence not seen in this country since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters, identified as 'The InContinen…

The NCAA Has Instructed Ohio State Football Players To Stop Referring to Their School as “THE” Ohio State University

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" In a move that many non-Ohio State fans have been waiting for, for a long, long time, the NCAA powers-that-be have instructed all Ohio State players to stop referring to their college as “THE” Ohio State University.

President Trump Has No Shame, As He Plans To Apply For Unemployment Benefits

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The Department of Unemployment has just informed the news media, that one Donald John Trump has just submitted a pre-unemployment request to receive unemployment benefits. A representative for the DU, stated that…

The Supreme Court in a Highly Unprecedented Move, Throws Out Everyone of Trump’s 107 Ridiculous Claims of Illegal Voting

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" In an extremely unusual ruling, the United States Supreme Court has voted 9-0 to toss out everyone of President Donald Trump’s unsubstantiated, ridiculous, far-fetched claims that the election was rigged. The jus…

J.C. Penney Denies That They’re Racist Because They Have No Black Mannequins

DIME BOX, Texas â€" (Satire News) â€" A representative for the J.C. Penney retail giant has denied recent charges that the company is racist. The J.C. Penney’s rep remarked that just because the company does not have any black mannequins does not mean…

Vegetarian Amateur Dramatic Society Celebrates 70th Anniversary

Saddleworth welcomed a royal visitor this week, when HRH Prince Charles visited the area as the guest of honour at the 70th anniversary performance of The King's Peach, by the Saddleworth Vegetarian Amateur Dramatic Society. The society, which was…

Burger King Abdicates to Carl’s Jr.

The Gastro Gazette- (Satire News)--Wikileaks uncovered details concerning a previously unknown sex tape between the Burger King and Ruby Tuesday Thursday, forcing the Burger King to abdicate his burger empire to Carl’s Jr. “It is with great regret…

The Sexiest Sheriff In The USA Has Been Re-Elected in a Landslide Victory

TULSA â€" (Satire News) â€" Tulsa’s Channel 91 Eye-Spectator News has verified that Sheriff Amanda Timberwine, has been re-elected by a percentage vote of 89% to 11%. Comedian Zydeco Dupree told a Las Vegas audience that Sheriff Timberwine is a perfec…

Kim Jong-un Has Invited President Donald Trump to Visit Him in Late January, When He Becomes Unemployed

PYONGYANG, North Korea â€" (World Satire) â€" North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency, is reporting that President Trump’s BFF, Kim Jong-un, feels so bad that his buddy got his butt kicked by Joe Biden. The Kimster, as Trump calls him, has invited Trump…

President-Elect Joe Biden Says That Within 24-Hours of Taking Office, He'll Undo Every Presidential Executive Order That Trump Enacted

DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" iRumors is reporting that President-Elect Joe Biden, has been spending countless hours going over each one of the 823,402 Presidential Executive Orders that President Trump signed into law. The president-elect com…

Should President Biden Pardon Donald Trump?

Should President Joseph Biden Pardon Donald Trump? No. No way. Never. Nyet. Nunca. Non. Nein, nein, nein! The next super-conservative criminal elected to the White House will be worse than Donald Trump. He or she will believe they are totally f…

President Trump, The Lame Duck President, Says He's Planning on Invading Iran, Iraq, or Iceland

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A White House insider says that the President hates that everyone knows he's the biggest loser since Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arapio. Trump cannot stand that he could not cheat his way onto a second term, although he…

Lewis Hamilton Speech Gives Man New Impetus

A man has spoken out about one of motor racing's all-time greats, Lewis Hamilton, and about how a speech the driving champion made has given new impetus to his humdrum existence. Hamilton was speaking after he had won his seventh world driver's ch…

Man Accused Of Being Pompous

A man who was accused by another man of being 'pompous' in the forum section of a satirical news website, isn't really pompous, it's been claimed. In his 'Ode to this brain-dead Graveyard', writer Jaggedone wrote: "A place that I once cherished…

Reptilian shapeshifter comes forth

Captain Denzel T Hargreaves is a proud officer in the United States Army. He is also a shapeshifter. This means, at a moment's notice, he can transform himself into a fiery reptilian entity. Captain Hargreaves says that he doesn't know how he acqu…

Donald Trump Is Called A Little Weenie

Donald Trump was referred to as a Little Weenie for not conceding, and insisting he won the election, which he did not win. So, what is a Weenie? More specifically, what is a Little Weenie? According to a Google search (one need not go any further…

Thousands of Fact Checkers File for Unemployment After Trump Loss and Defection of Right-wingers to Parler

Washington - After the Trump election loss, and after his millions of Facebook and Twitter followers and trolls decided to join a right wing platform called Parler, professional fact checkers have seen the handwriting on the wall, and are seeking un…

A Racehorse Inexplicably Stops in The Middle of a Race

KALAMAZOO, Michigan â€" (Satire News) â€" The racing world was shocked to see that the horse that was favored to win the Kalamazoo Derby suddenly stopped in the middle of the race, and sat down in the middle of the race track. The horse, named "Landin…

Rip Van Biden Finally Wakes Up: Can’t Stop Talking

BILLINGSGATE POST: After six months of silent hibernation in his basement, Rip Van Biden finally wakes up and can’t stop talking. “This can happen,” says noted Sleep Therapist, Dr. Quasimodo, who heads the Deep Sleep Department at Harvard Univers…

Did Aliens Hack The Election?

Associated Press, November 15, 2020: President Trump’s personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, told reporters today that he had overwhelming evidence that the November 3rd presidential election had been rigged. “Scientists,” he claimed, “had detec…

Extra terrestrial abductions on the rise

A Belgian man has claimed to have been kidnapped by aliens from outer space who replaced his brain with a 1930s cash register, the effect of that transformation being that when he sees something he wants to buy, dollar signs appear in his eye sockets…

President Trump New Book, 'Mein Kampf 2' Out Now

He may have been voted out of the most powerful job in the world, but Donald Trump isn't going away quietly, and today sees the release of his new book, 'Mein Kampf 2'. Chronicling the struggle he endured during his four years in the White House,…

Man 'Just Knew' Des O'Connor Was Going To Die, One Day

There was sad news from the entertainment world last weekend, when it was announced that Des O'Connor, the veteran TV show host and entertainer for more than 45 years, had died aged 88, on Saturday. The news came as a complete shock to many people…

No comments:

Post a comment