Blog archive

Tuesday, 17 November 2020

Man 'Just Knew' Des O'Connor Was Going To Die, One Day

There was sad news from the entertainment world last weekend, when it was announced that Des O'Connor, the veteran TV show host and entertainer for more than 45 years, had died aged 88, on Saturday. The news came as a complete shock to many people…

Watching The Crown After The Trump/Biden Election

Besides giving the United States former Vice President Joe Biden as the next President of the United States, miraculously, the fourth season of The Crown series also landed in the US on Saturday night. Filled with just about as much intrigue and p…

Thousands of Fact Checkers File for Unemployment After Trump Loss and Defection of Right-wingers to Parler

Washington - After the Trump election loss, and after his millions of Facebook and Twitter followers and trolls decided to join a right wing platform called Parler, professional fact checkers have seen the handwriting on the wall, and are seeking un…

Did Aliens Hack The Election?

Associated Press, November 15, 2020: President Trump’s personal attorney, Rudolph Giuliani, told reporters today that he had overwhelming evidence that the November 3rd presidential election had been rigged. “Scientists,” he claimed, “had detec…

President Trump New Book, 'Mein Kampf 2' Out Now

He may have been voted out of the most powerful job in the world, but Donald Trump isn't going away quietly, and today sees the release of his new book, 'Mein Kampf 2'. Chronicling the struggle he endured during his four years in the White House,…

Trump: "Voters don't decide elections, courts do"

For most people, the US election is over. Joe Biden won by a clear margin of 306-232 - coincidentally the same margin that Donald Trump won by four years ago. But Trump and his supporters have still not accepted the defeat. "We're going to take…

President Trump Finally Admits His Big Beautiful Border Wall Was Just a Waste of $4.9 Billion of The American Taxpayers Money.

MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump spoke at his latest post-election campaign hate rally before a crowd of 14 people, including a 99-year-old woman with an emotional support beaver. The President said that he will never admi…

President Trump is Now Insisting That The Election Was Rigged By Circus Midgets

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider says that President Trump has been hiding in the Presidential Bunker, due to the fact that he is as embarrassed at losing the election in a landslide, as a priest who’s been caught reading a bo…

Confusion Over Word 'Pallets'

There was a storm in a teacup on an online satirical news website earlier this month, over the spelling of three similarly-sounding words landed one writer in a huge pickle, and an editor having to explain things to him in a schoolteacherly way. T…

God Helps Pence

A voice was heard to ask “Do you need any boxes?” as President Trump walked away from his press conference this Friday, having again taken no questions from reporters. The craven President’s ears pricked up as he wondered whether he was being offered…

One of The 2020 NBA Draft’s Top Prospects is LaMelo Ball

LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" LaLaLand Daily has announced that one of this year’s top NBA prospects is LaMelo Ball, of the legendary Ball Basketball family, led with an iron fist by patriarch LaVar Ball. LeVar who has a reputation for being a t…

Ex-3-Year-Old toddler sues Paul McCartney for nicking his lyrics to 'Yesterday!'

(NOT EDITED) Beatles lyric writers, McCartney and Lennon, are not quite what they are projected to be, especially Paul. After all these years of Beatlemania, the truth is gradually seeping out of red-brick-terraced-houses in Liverpool. A Liverpudl…

GOP Asks Judge to Invalidate Election After Pineapple Inadvertently Added to Pizza Delivered to Vote Counters

Philadelphia - Running out of options after federal and state courts tossed all of their complaints filed to invalidate the election results In Pennsylvania, Republican lawyers led by Trump personal attorney Rudy Giuliani held a hastily-called news c…

Beyonce's candid admission

Entertainer and former Destiny's Child singer Beyonce Knowles has made the serious admission that she once experimented with cocoa and Hershey bars. The 39-year-old said that she was in her late teens when the dalliance with these substances occurred…

President Trump Says He's Going To Cancel The Miss Arizona Beauty Pageant Because The State Flipped To Blue

PHOENIX, Arizona â€" (Satire News) â€" The 30 contestants who were to have participated in the 2021 Arizona Beauty Pageant have just found out that the pageant has been cancelled. Pageant coordinator, Yarvonna Pumpkinstone, 51, told the news media tha…

Covid-19 Prevents UCLA's Third Consecutive 0-3 Season Start

Westwood Village, CA. An S.O.S. report from Spoof On Sports. Bruin coach Chip Kelly can thank the pandemic and the lack of masks, social distancing and common sense for not opening this season 0-3 for the third consecutive year. Instead, his UCLA tea…

The NBA and The NFL Have Just Named Vice-President-Elect Kamala Harris The Sexiest Woman in Politics

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The New York World Register newspaper proclaims that a recent poll has found that players in the NBA and NFL find Kamala Harris to be the sexiest woman in politics. LeBron James, of the Los Angeles Lakers, said th…

Deep State Voter Fraud Thwarted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick Detwiler

BILLINGSGATE POST: Rack up the balls, boys. Put away the cues. The Trumpster is on his way, and he ain’t gonna lose. Warning, Trump-haters. This could be just another giant rat f*ck: Using undercover methods first developed by Slim and Dirty…

Japan Develops a Robot Sex Doll That Can Be Impregnated

OSAKA, Japan â€" (Satire News) â€" When it comes to electronic inventions, Japan is literally unrivaled. Japan has given the world the Electric Tampon Remover, the Electric Dog Flea Zapper, and the Electric Inverted Nipple De-Inverter. And now, just i…

Pelosi and Newsom apologize for lack of decency in following their own rules

Speaker of the House Pelosi and California's Governor Newsom have again been caught at the threshold of an embarrassing moment. First it was Ms. Pelosi holding a dinner for incoming Democratic house members, with special air conditioning units and…

President “One Term” Trump Vows To Fire All 9 Supreme Court Judges

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" There is no doubt whatsoever that President Trump lost the popular vote, the Electoral College vote, and even the women who don’t mind him grabbing them by their you-know-what vote. But, like they say in the Show…

Fauci discovered lurking near Washington Monument with Obedience Training Manual in back pocket

Mr. Fauci's current stand on the need for the American people to “just do what you're told” took on new tones and insinuations this evening. Investigators found him pacing near the famous monument to George Washington which, according to historian…

Mass anti-lockdown protests in London by women with 'barge-arses', and men with huge 'beer guts!!'

The lockdown is something that is, obviously, not a good thing for many people, but it is a necessary evil, if we are to eradicate COVID-19. However, on the path to vaccines, there are many mountains to climb, especially with women developing 'barge-…

President Trump finds himself in the bog.

President of the USA, Donald J Trump, has fallen down a bog hole and disappeared while playing on his golf links in Florida. Authorities are currently excavating the site, but have been unable to locate the President. The accident happened as M…

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Write Book About Greek Nightmare

It's what the newspapers have all been waiting for, the scoop of the moment, as the Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has announced that he is to commence writing a book documenting his recent nightmare experience on the Greek holiday island…

Man Unable To Swallow Tablet

An Englishman who was given a selection of different kinds of medication by a doctor he went to see, has revealed how one of the items was so large, that he had severe difficulty in swallowing it. The medicine concerned was prescribed by Dr. Kwak…

Will Melania Trump Attend The Biden Inauguration?

It is believed by most, with opinions that don't matter, that Donald Trump will be a 'no-show' at the Biden inauguration. However, there is speculation (and Vegas bets) that Melania Trump, a US citizen and, by then, the former First Lady, may toss he…

Man Had Blood Test

A man who woke up one morning last week with a nasty rash on his stomach, his upper arms and upper legs - but not his testicles - has finally decided to do something about it, after four days of constant itching and scratching himself into a frenzy.

Trump Attempts To Cancel Vote Counts To Bone Spur Flare-up!

Today, Donald Trump's personal physician, Dr Feelsyouupyourasslabub, testified to a Pennsylvania judge that Trump's chronic bone spur problem necessitates the stoppage of all vote counting until the flare-up subsides. When asked how long this might t…

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani Can Hardly Wait For The Start of Their Country Valentine’s Music Tour

TISHOMINGO, Oklahoma â€" (Satire News) â€" The two country lovebirds are so looking forward to their upcoming 2021 Country Valentine’s Music Tour. Blake and Gwen announced to Boom Boom News that they have booked the Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’ Band to b…

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