Blog archive

Friday, 20 November 2020

Writer Emulates Another Writer, And Writes Story With Extremely Long Headline That Almost Completely Fills The Yellow 'Popular Funny Stories' Box On Front Page Of Site, But Which, When Placed Under Scrutiny, Has Little Or No Substance To It At All

You know you've achieved success when others start to emulate your work, and that's exactly what happened on a satirical news website earlier today, when one contributor wrote a story with an extremely long headline, just as one of the site's other w…

Boy Sent To Bed Early Laughs At Parents By Reading Porn Mag

A naughty boy who had been sent to bed an hour before his usual bedtime for being cheeky to his mum and dad, exacted an evil revenge on them by doing just as he was told to do, and then browsing through some pornographic literature he'd 'borrowed' fr…

Michael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Hornets Says His New Player Will Be The NBA's Next Superstar

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The LeVar Ball Family is extremely thrilled after son LaMelo was selected by the Charlotte Bobcats in this year's NBA draft. The Bobcats are owned by Michael Jordan, as in Micheal Jordan, the greatest…

My Mother Was A Jersey Cow

"Take your T-shirt off," Barb said, as she looked at Rick, who was lying beside her on the blanket. "When you come to the beach, you don't cover up. You come for the sun, or something else," she giggled. "I really don't want to take it off," Rick…

President-Elect Joe Biden Says He Will Think About Making Puerto Rico The 51st State

DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" One of President-Elect Joe Biden’s aides has stated that Biden is seriously considering making Puerto Rico the 51st state. Biden has stated, on several occasions, that the United States will greatly benefit from t…

Kanye West Who Came In Third In The Presidential Election Is Now Demanding A Recount

EAST HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" Kanye West, the entertainer who came in third in the presidential election, has told Vice-President Pence that he is demanding a recount. West the Pest says that he feels that a lot of people did not vote for him s…

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Giant Balloons Will Be Wearing Medical Masks and Pants

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will look a little different this year, according to parade organizers. Parade director, Montrose Aspentwist, told the news media that the cartoon balloons will all be weari…

The Popular Country Music Duo 'Florida Georgia Line' Is Changing It’s Name

NASHVILLE â€" (Satire News) â€" News coming out of “Music City” says that the highly popular country duo Florida Georgia Line has decided to change their name. The band, made up of Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley, are noted for their songs about beer-d…

Computer Offered FreeCell Player Very Poor Hint

A Microsoft computer game which a man was playing has been accused of offering a 'hint' that was unhelpful, misleading and, indeed, totally inappropriate if we are to think the facility is provided so that players might successfully accomplish the ta…

Teacher Taught Students To Speak English Like EastEnders Characters

A teacher at a school in Bangkok has told how he came up with a new, interesting and, quite frankly, stupid method of helping his students to become proficient in English, by having them model their speech on that of the characters in the BBC's long-…

Donald Trump’s Last Big Deal

Donald Trump’s “golden” years don’t look promising. He is burdened with personally guaranteed debt that will be difficult to refinance; besieged by lawsuits, which he will not be able to delay much longer; and being badgered by a number of state att…

Astronaut breaks wind to set a record.

A Space X astronaut who recently joined the International Space Station has set an unusual record when he commenced his first spacewalk yesterday. Colonel J. Peabody Cromwell, a US Army Regular, can now claim to have released the longest fart in the…

Better to do it in the road

Prospective parliamentary candidate for Barnet, Shaw Tearcutt, is applauding the efforts of British hairdressers to fight back against the effects of Covid-19 restrictions. "Indeed," says Mr Tearcutt, "only we enterprising Brits could come up wit…

No fake Daily Mail, or Express headlines here, just fake headlines between the lines!

(NOT EDITED) Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters have been scurrying into smudgy places only they can reach, and have come up with today's news headlines: DEAD OR ALIVE? Trump, has ordered a Funeral Parlor to drag his dead-bod…

J.C. Penney Denies That They’re Racist Because They Have No Black Mannequins

DIME BOX, Texas â€" (Satire News) â€" A representative for the J.C. Penney retail giant has denied recent charges that the company is racist. The J.C. Penney’s rep remarked that just because the company does not have any black mannequins does not mean…

Dr. Scott Atlas Awarded (MOTLY) Man of the Latest Year by NFDMA

Dr. Scott Atlas named “Man of the Year” THE WIRED STREET JOURNAL REPORTER; KR SCHWARTZ November 18th, 2020 White House Coronavirus Task Force MIC (Mountebank-in-Chief) Dr. Scott Atlas has just been named “Man of the Year” by the NFDMA (Natio…

The Supreme Court in a Highly Unprecedented Move, Throws Out Everyone of Trump’s 107 Ridiculous Claims of Illegal Voting

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" In an extremely unusual ruling, the United States Supreme Court has voted 9-0 to toss out everyone of President Donald Trump’s unsubstantiated, ridiculous, far-fetched claims that the election was rigged. The jus…

President Trump Has No Shame, As He Plans To Apply For Unemployment Benefits

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The Department of Unemployment has just informed the news media, that one Donald John Trump has just submitted a pre-unemployment request to receive unemployment benefits. A representative for the DU, stated that…

The NCAA Has Instructed Ohio State Football Players To Stop Referring to Their School as “THE” Ohio State University

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" In a move that many non-Ohio State fans have been waiting for, for a long, long time, the NCAA powers-that-be have instructed all Ohio State players to stop referring to their college as “THE” Ohio State University.

Nut-loving animal blamed for loss of presidency

President Donald J Trump's legal team have claimed that many of the votes made for their candidate were stolen by a wily squirrel named Phil. The pesky animal, they believe, visited voting halls across much of Pennsylvania, stealing Trump ballots as…

Customers flee as geriatric biker gangs clash outside Saddleworth tea rooms

Police were called to Mother Fanshaws tea rooms in Uppermill, to deal with an outbreak of violence not seen in this country since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters, identified as 'The InContinen…

Kim Jong-un Has Invited President Donald Trump to Visit Him in Late January, When He Becomes Unemployed

PYONGYANG, North Korea â€" (World Satire) â€" North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency, is reporting that President Trump’s BFF, Kim Jong-un, feels so bad that his buddy got his butt kicked by Joe Biden. The Kimster, as Trump calls him, has invited Trump…

The Sexiest Sheriff In The USA Has Been Re-Elected in a Landslide Victory

TULSA â€" (Satire News) â€" Tulsa’s Channel 91 Eye-Spectator News has verified that Sheriff Amanda Timberwine, has been re-elected by a percentage vote of 89% to 11%. Comedian Zydeco Dupree told a Las Vegas audience that Sheriff Timberwine is a perfec…

Annual scandal surrounding Pogues Christmas classic, Fairytale of NY, now laid to rest by Jaggedone!

(NOT EDITED) Sensitive ears listening to the very best Christmas song ever written whinge very year about one word in the song. Pogues fan, and ageing punk Nutter, Jaggedone, gave Shane MacGowan a buzz, while he was sober, it was a short call! He…

Burger King Abdicates to Carl’s Jr.

The Gastro Gazette- (Satire News)--Wikileaks uncovered details concerning a previously unknown sex tape between the Burger King and Ruby Tuesday Thursday, forcing the Burger King to abdicate his burger empire to Carl’s Jr. “It is with great regret…

President-Elect Joe Biden Says That Within 24-Hours of Taking Office, He'll Undo Every Presidential Executive Order That Trump Enacted

DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" iRumors is reporting that President-Elect Joe Biden, has been spending countless hours going over each one of the 823,402 Presidential Executive Orders that President Trump signed into law. The president-elect com…

Vegetarian Amateur Dramatic Society Celebrates 70th Anniversary

Saddleworth welcomed a royal visitor this week, when HRH Prince Charles visited the area as the guest of honour at the 70th anniversary performance of The King's Peach, by the Saddleworth Vegetarian Amateur Dramatic Society. The society, which was…

Should President Biden Pardon Donald Trump?

Should President Joseph Biden Pardon Donald Trump? No. No way. Never. Nyet. Nunca. Non. Nein, nein, nein! The next super-conservative criminal elected to the White House will be worse than Donald Trump. He or she will believe they are totally f…

President Trump, The Lame Duck President, Says He's Planning on Invading Iran, Iraq, or Iceland

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A White House insider says that the President hates that everyone knows he's the biggest loser since Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arapio. Trump cannot stand that he could not cheat his way onto a second term, although he…

Lewis Hamilton Speech Gives Man New Impetus

A man has spoken out about one of motor racing's all-time greats, Lewis Hamilton, and about how a speech the driving champion made has given new impetus to his humdrum existence. Hamilton was speaking after he had won his seventh world driver's ch…

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