[Gamers] I'm trying to make a third person shooter...

Project Atlas shared a post with Gamers
Project Atlas:
I'm trying to make a third person shooter game with a resistance theme two it

Anyway I'm working on the script right noe for the first part of of the story line and I need your opinions on it

I have some basic question I would like answered:
1: Would this start to pull you in to the game
2: besides what's currently missing (character info and things like that is there anything I could change or add to help pull in the player)
3: is this a good start?

Keep in mind this is a draft and not a completed...

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