Manchester United fan decides to watch football, so he goes to Liverpool!
Manchester United are supposed to be a giant English football team. However, many of their fans cannot believe they are actually playing the game they are supposed to be playing! Their players kick the ball, yes; they have eleven players on the pi…Man Spent Afternoon Listening To Linton Kwesi Johnson
A man who read of a possible change in the way words in the English language are spelt, has told of how he dreamt up another similar scheme after spending yesterday afternoon listening to the Jamaican reggae poet, Linton Kwesi Johnson. A story on…Manchester United Fans' Booing Could Be Heard At Old Trafford
It was a case of 'more of the same' for disgruntled Manchester United fans yesterday, as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's men kicked off the season in the worst possible way with a 3-1 home drubbing by unfancied Crystal Palace at Old Trafford. And the tortu…President Trump Misunderstood The Message Of American History X
Experts analyzing President Donald Trump's tenure in the White House have come to the unanimous conclusion that the whole four years spent leading the country were an unprecedented presidential disaster. But everybody knows that. Even a blind m…Man Considering Future In Landscape Gardening
A man who saw his back garden become a lake as it was submerged during a torrential downpour of rain over the weekend, has said he is considering his future employment prospects, and may decide to venture into the world of landscape gardening. Moy…(NOT EDITED) Hartlepool, UK, is a town parked on the North Sea coast which nobody has ever heard of apart from 'Hartlepool-ians'. However, last night the global tabloid press sent their reporters there, with drones, because it was reported a massive…
Trump To Veto Gareth Bale Move
Just when Tottenham Hotspur fans thought it was safe to breathe again, and count Real Madrid's wantaway star, Gareth Bale, as one of their own, US president Donald Trump has put the skids under the deal, saying "it cannot happen". Bale, who played…Donald Trump To Pick Ivanka For Supreme Court
Leaked to the press today by a White House consigliere, (looking for early retirement) Donald Trump decided to select daughter Ivanka for the Supreme Court vacancy created with the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Tiffany, daughter number two…Man Sees His Own Image In Diaper Full Of Shit
We've seen them all in the past, the images of Jesus in a privet, in a dollop of mashed potatoes, in a bowl of porridge, and in the background of someone's photo, but there was the crowning glory of these sightings this week, when a man saw his own i…Burma earning praise from human rights activists over humane genocide
The government of Myanmar is earning positive recognition from human rights activists and the United Nations for its humane and cruelty free genocide of the Rohingya people. It’s not just for how they are treating minority groups chosen to be liquida…Isn't it about time you bought a Lava Lamp?
Isn't it about time you bought a Lava Lamp? I know, it is not a question we are regularly asked, but really. Isn't it time? With everything that is happening in the world, a little bit of nonsensical shopping is what we need. Something from the…The Coronavirus lockdown, which started in March, is known to be having a significant effect on people's mental health, as we all get rather too irritable, but one man has become so terminally disillusioned with things, that he's really let himself g…
President Trump Finally Releases the Results of His IQ Test
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Trump has finally released the results of his IQ test, after promising to do so for several months. He revealed the results on his favorite Fox News show "Fox & Friends". Trump was grinning from ear…Noodle Shop Woman Aghast At Poor Aim Of Customers
The female owner of a local food eaterie which caters for Asian tastes has commented on the poor aim of many of her customers when attempting to toss refuse into the waste bin. The shop, which is open seven days per week, between the hours of mid…The GOP Veterans of The Vietnam War Federation Will Be Honoring President Trump For His Service
DETROIT â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider is reporting that President Trump is thrilled beyond belief that, after almost 50 years, he will finally receive the recognition that he deserves. Many Americans are not aware that Trump actually enl…At last, Big Ben is to finally get a £1 million facelift, and is to go digital just in time for the New Year celebrations. Visitors to London, who flock in their millions to see an enormous CLOCK, will be met with a far more up-to-date timepiece.
Biden-Harris to add dazzle to lackluster campaign
Political experts have suggested Democrats not only need to move “left,†there's an additional problem. The Biden-Harris candidacy seriously lacks the dazzle and noise of Trump's rallies. To some Democrats the Biden ticket is pallid and uninte…The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Say Their Cheering Definitely Makes The Cowboys Play Better
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" CBS Sports has stated that it’s no secret that the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are the best cheerleaders in all of sports. It’s been noted by many sports writers that the “Rah Rah Girlsâ€, as comedian Zydeco Dupree has chr…Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says He’s Not Happy With Coach Bruce Arians
TAMPA BAY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Future Hall of Famer Tom Brady has never been one to take criticism lightly. Some years ago, he got upset with Patriots Coach Bill Belichick, when the coach told him that he needed to stop cussing at his teammates in…Socialist Biden: I'll Nationalize Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Etc.
Wilmington, Delaware. Exclusive to The Spoof. Democratic candidate Joe Biden today admitted he's a socialist, and vowed to nationalize the biggest corporations in America by executive order the first day of his presidency. "If you think Trump went…"Scottish referees are to undergo jabs of sodium penothane before games, and at half-time. This should hopefully eradicate the myth that the SFA, Masonic Lodges and the Old Bhoys network have collaborated to favour the Old Firm," a FIFA spokesperson…
Drone drops bombshell on Jaggedone's bald head!
(NOT EDITED) A spy drone buzzing over Jaggedone's secluded German residence, not The Eagle's Nest in Berchtesgaden, suddenly swooped, and dropped a bombshell wrapped in a vinegar stinking, 1980 Daily Mail, once a conservative spreadsheet, now a load…Man still hasn't decided on his creosote
Nigel Havering, from Chutney on the Fritz, has told no-one in particular that, although it is now mid-September, he is yet to decide on the shade and type of creosote that he needs for the shed. 'Yes,' Nigel told us, 'I know that I have left it ve…No Question: The NBA Playoffs are Rigged
How does one explain the LA Clippers, arguably the league’s most talented team, implosion in their series with the Denver Nuggets? The Clippers somehow managed to lose three straight games after taking a 3-1 lead in the best of seven series. The fina…City of Leicester Traffic Enforcement Officer Hugh Khanparktheresir was transfixed when he found a man bent over and asleep in a city car park. "I was transfixed," he said, "and he wasn’t even in a disabled bay." The sleeper, Ivor Whiterose, said,…
Trump’s Secret Telephone Call To Barack Obama For Help
Stop the presses! Donald Trump made a desperate phone call to Barack Obama, asking for help. Nothing was going Trump’s way, particularly the Mexican wall. The wall wasn’t finished, and though he promised it would, Mexico hadn't paid a nickel for it.Man's Wife Treats Him To Four Chocolate Bombs
A man whose wife woke up in an inexplicably good mood this morning, before going to the market in the town, is in high spirits this evening, as he looks forward to tucking into the sweet treat that she bought him there. Moys Kenwood, 57, gave his…Chicharito Wants David Beckham to Rejoin The Los Angeles Galaxy
LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" NBC Sports is reporting that soccer superstar Javier Hernandez, better known as Chicharito (the Little Pea), wants David Beckham to join him on his old team, the Los Angeles Galaxy. The 45-year-old Beckham played fo…Chris Grayling still hasn't bought a round in
Poster-boy for the word 'incompetent', and there is stiff competition, Chris Grayling still hasn't bought his round in, Dave from the pub can reveal. Despite having a job that pays him £100,000 a year for working a seven-hour week, the former Mini…BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim Everdingle and Detrick “Dirty Trick†Detwiler have come a long way. Just a year ago, they were dutifully monitoring the cross-dressing escapades of James Comey and Robert Mueller from their government issued, vintage 1952 St…