Donald Trump To Star In Christmas Pantomime
There was great excitement amongst amateur thespians this morning when it was revealed that outgoing president, Donald Trump, has been asked to take the leading part in a major Broadway pantomime production for the New York festive season, and beyond…San Antonio Spurs Assistant Coach Becky Hammon is Being Courted For an NBA Head Coaching Job
NEW ORLEANS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" According to ESPN-4, the word out of the Big Easy is that the New Orleans Pelicans are considering Spurs assistant coach Becky Harmon for the head coach job. Pelicans owner Gayle Benson, stated that she has checked…Suicidal Nutter jumps off Beachy Head and survives!
Ageing Jo Johnson, a 69-year-old pensioner from Erith, Kent, was so pissed off with Covid, Brexit, Manchester United losing, and Jose Mourinho's constant whingeing, he decided enough was enough. Last Sunday evening, he left his humble abode, a 4…Lara Trump Has Just Become The Meanest, Cruelest, Most Hateful Bitch in the Entire USA
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Just when millions of people thought that no one could ever be meaner, nastier, and have more hate in their heart than Donald Trump, along comes his fake, blonde-haired daughter-in-law from Hell, Lara Trump. The 38-…Kirstie Alley is Catching Hell For Saying That She’s Voting For Donald Trump
LA BREA, California â€" (Satire News) â€" Former "Cheers" star Kirstie Alley has infuriated the Hollywood celebrity community by bragging that she is going to vote for President Trump. The 69-year-old overweight ex-actress said that she likes the Pres…Pele Invites Cristiano Ronaldo To Self-Quarantine in His $14.7 Million Brazilian Mansion
SAO PAULO, Brazil â€" (Sports Satire) â€" One of the world’s most famous soccer players, Pele, recently spoke with Cristiano Ronaldo who plays with Juventus. Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine reports that Pele, who is the president of the Sao Paulo R…Conor McGregor Isn't That Hard, Says Lanky, Skinny Wretch
The former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, mixed martial arts fighter, Conor McGregor, isn't really that hard, according to a man who knows literally nothing about the subject. McGregor has just been very lucky, claims the man. "He…Idiots Celebrated Flood By Throwing Water At Motorists
Several days of almost-incessant heavy rain that resulted in a river bursting its banks and flooding the surrounding countryside would not be the cause for celebrations in too many places, but that's what one man found at the weekend, when he tried t…Bukkake World Championships Called Off Due To Health Risk
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, has cast its shadow over normality again this evening, after the dangerous risk of spreading the virus put paid to the 2020 staging of one of the most eagerly-awaited events in the Japanese social calendar - the Bukkake Wor…John Lennon was once a spotty, young rebel rascal, and Jaggedone proves that here!
(NOT EDITED) To celebrate Lennon's 80th birthday, Jaggedone, sent one of his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star paparazzi reporters, Billy Bogrolll-Beetle, into the house where John grew up and guess what he found? The original lyrics of 'Imagine…NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The numbers for the television Dueling Town Hall Meetings are in, and the Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that Donald Trump got his arrogant ass kicked beyond belief. VPNA noted that Trump spent more time deflec…
Camberwick Green Is Man's All-Time Favourite TV Show
A man who rarely comments on the subject of television has come out to confess that his all-time favourite TV show was, is, and probably will always be the BBC children's animated puppet show from the 1960s, 'Camberwick Green'. Moys Kenwood, 57, c…Trump’s Scuttling His Sinking White House
Donald Trump has scuttled his own White House. His ship of state is sinking, and he’s ankle-deep in water. To the rescue, Sheldon Adelson has thrown him a $75 million contribution to tow him back to safety and four more years. On the one hand, wi…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Sports Satire) â€" President Trump confided in his BFF, Sean Hannity, that he is finally seeing the writing on the wall. He remarked that he knows that his supporters are finally realizing what everyone else knew four years ago â€"…
The Nine Lives of a Very Stable Genius
Near the end of October of 2020, a small item appeared on the AP wire feed. Lady May, the yacht seized during the arrest of the former White House Strategist, Sloppy Steve, had been seconded to the White House as the new presidential yacht. The artic…President Trump Denies That He Has a Sexually Transmitted Disease
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" During a White House press conference, President Trump was asked by a reporter with iNews about the rumor that he has contracted a sexually transmitted disease. The President turned four shades of orange, and ang…Biden advises police to aim for toenails
Biden’s basement - Inferno News At Biden’s Village-haul, Thursday night, he berated police for defending themselves against charging knife-wielding hopped-up crack-heads. Hunter applauded. “We have to stop shooting unarmed charging knife-wie…Demi Lovato Tearfully Addresses The Brad Pitt Break-Up Rumor
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Celebrity Satire) â€" A reporter with Hollywood Vis-a-Vis asked Demi Lovato about her May-December relationship with Brad Pitt. Lovato told Hacienda Dakota with HVAV that it doesn’t look good. When pressed by Dakota, the songstress t…7,000 Psychologists Agree That Trump is Certifiably Insane
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Many of the nation’s leading psychologists gathered in New York City for their annual Alliance of American Psychologists seminar. The psychologists represented every state in the union, except for Arizona. The gr…Trump promises to perform a backflip if he wins election
In a rambling speech in Florida today, Donald Trump promised to perform a backflip if he wins the US election next month. His supporters cheered him on, causing the US president to babble on about the manoeuvre for almost an hour. "I could do it r…Washington - At the Senate Confirmation hearings for Amy Coney Barrett, Senate Republicans on the Judicial Committee praised the prospective Supreme Court judge after she indicated that she would be a totally fair judge who would apply the law withou…
English professor fails 'O' Level English exam!
Nuances, idiosyncrasies, diverse meaning of many words, placing of commas, semi-colons, paragraphs, and full stops, within the wonderful English language requires years of university studies to gain complete command of this very difficult tool. Af…All communication to be disabled til after election
Under Denver Airport - Rooters News An anonymous source reports that all communications services will be shortly disabled to prevent dissemination of facts regarding the Biden family. The recent Twittering of Twitter was just a dry run. “The e…Democrats Plan To Use Trump As A Trampoline After Election
A leaked Democratic Party memo from Washington has revealed that, after he has been ousted from the White House as a result of the November 3 presidential election, Donald Trump is to be used as a trampoline in the celebrations that will follow. A…Many in The Black Community Are Calling Rapper Ice Cube an Uncle Tom
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" Afro Sheen Magazine is reporting that many African-Americans are now turning their backs on rapper Ice Cube, and calling him an Uncle Tom. Others are saying that they are shocked that the black rapper has turned into just…Trump Says Construction Will Begin Soon on His New Trump Tower Building in Downtown Moscow
INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania â€" (Satire News) - President Trump was thrilled to see so many supporters at his last Trump Campaign Hate Rally. He looked out at the crowd, which he estimated to be between one and two million, and gave them all a thumbs-…Man Had To Change His Underpants At Work
We have all, at some time or other, suffered the inconvenience of getting wet and having to change our clothing, but when one man and his wife got drenched in torrential rain yesterday, then drove into an underwater pothole and fell off their motorbi…Chrysler Says That It Will Be Dropping The Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo’s Racist Name
DETROIT â€" (Satire News) â€" After receiving hundreds of petitions containing millions of names, the Chrysler Corporation has agreed to change the name of their highly popular SUV, The Grand Jeep Cherokee Laredo. The SUV was originally developed in 1…Tab Drink And Donald Trump To Be Retired
After sixty years, Coca-Cola has announced plans to retire Tab, which was once its new diet soda, to trim Cola’s portfolio. Also retiring is Donald Trump, by voters of the United States, to regain the nation’s stature in the world, and trim the tu…Motorcyclist Crashes After Riding Through Floodwater
A woman motorcyclist who was taking her husband to work during flooding caused by several days of torrential rain, suffered the misfortune of being thrown from the vehicle when an unseen pothole in the road almost swallowed it whole, and left the cou…