Elastic In Underpants Was So Slack, Man Could Feel His Cock Dangling Down His Trouser Leg
A case of 'elastic with no elasticity' in a man's underpants meant they became so slack at the legholes that he was able to feel his penis dangling out of the underwear, and gently 'bobbing about' in his trouser leg. The underpants, which were on…A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom. The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real n…
German frustrated wife divorces hubby because he has two left-hands!
(NOT EDITED) Hanging up curtain rails might be quite simple for most people, However a non-handy man from Bitburg, Germany, possessing 'two left-hands' tends to think quite differently especially having a 'flame-spitting dragon' as a wife! Hoping…LeBron James and Patrick Mahomes Urge All Professional Sports Athletes To Vote For Joe Biden
LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Turnstile Review has divulged that sports superstars LeBron James and Patrick Mahomes are urging all fans of professional sports to please vote Trump out of the White House, by voting for the kind, caring, compassi…Trump and his "Johnson": the truth
The President of the United States of America, Donald J Trump, has addressed the issue of his supposed physical impotency. He wanted to dispel any myths circulating that he couldn't get off on his own beauty. "I can make even a f…ing horse rand…Washington - Judge Amy Coney Barrett, during her testimony in the Senate last week, declared that the idea that the World climate was changing due to the burning of fossil fuels was “controversialâ€. This, despite the reality that the entirety of r…
An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…
Donald Trump Did Not Win The Presidential Debate
Donald Trump did not win the final presidential debate. Failing to take a Spoof writer’s advice to stay home, Trump showed up. The rest went downhill once he reached the podium. He was sweaty, red-faced, puffy, missing a neck, waving fat hands, r…Kim Jong-un Says Something, But Nobody Understands, Because It's All In Korean
There was controversy on the Korean peninsula this morning after the North's leader, Kim Jong-un, made a visually-impassioned speech about something or other that proved totally unintelligible, as everything he said was spoken in fluent Korean. Jo…President Trump's Twitter Account Has Been Hacked by A Guatemalan Drug Cartel
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The Vox Populi News Agency has discovered that President Trump’s personal Twitter account has been hacked by the infamous Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel. The cartel, which is the biggest drug cartel in Central Americ…USA Becomes Banana Republic of America as Strongman Tries to Have Political Opponent Arrested
Washington - It was learned the countries around the world have started referring to the United States as BRA, the Banana Republic of America. At the head of the U.S. is Commandant Donald Trump, a man who skipped out on military service but loves mi…Trump asserts election interference by Russia, Iran, Mars
US President Donald Trump affirmed today he had clear evidence Russia, Iran and Mars were interfering with the 2020 election. Speaking this morning at a campaign stop in South Bend, Indiana, the GOP leader said the FBI had presented him with proo…Amy Coney Barrett Adopts Another Child Who in 50 Years Will Be Dealing With Her Climate Denial
Washington - Judge Amy Coney Barrett has adopted another child, increasing the size of her brood to eight, impressing her GOP followers. Also, she called climate change, accepted by almost all scientists who study weather patterns as fact, “contro…Trump Tells Leslie Stahl That Biden Had Sex With Three Women While Driving A Fork Lift
BILLINGSGATE POST: Before walking out of a controversial interview with 60 Minutes reporter, Leslie Stahl, Donald Trump alleged that he was informed by a QAnon insider that they have a tape of Sleepy Joe Biden having sex with three Chinese women whi…What The Hell Was CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin Thinking?
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The New York World Register and hundreds of other news publications are all asking the head-shaking question, “What in the world was Jeffrey Toobin thinking?†Toobin, who was a well-respected writer for the New York…Biden starts debate without teeth, hopes they still on bedside table
Moments into Thursday's final US Presidential Debate, Democratic challenger Joe Biden realized he'd left his dentures on his hotel room bedside table. The former Vice President could be seen running his tongue along his gums and then mumbling: "B…FBI: Spoof Writers Living It Up In Cuba
Washington, D. C. A SINning Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News. Rodger Codger, President Trump's assistant acting interim recess appointee currently heading the international terrorist division of the FBI, revealed today that at leas…Scott Baio is Butt-Hurt Because He Wasn’t Invited to the Happy Days Reunion
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" It’s being reported by Tittle Tattle Tonight that former child star, and now full-time Trump ass-kisser, Scott Baio, is offended at not having been invited to participate in the cast reunion of the hit situation-comedy “Ha…Woman Paints Painting With No Paint On Her Brush
A woman painter who was photographed painting a countryside scene, did so despite not having a single drop of paint on her paintbrush, it's been claimed. Italian female artist Caprice de la Vienneta can be seen in the photograph above, posing in f…Melania Trump is Furious That Vogue Magazine Chose Beyonce To Be on It’s Cover Instead of Her
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" A White House insider says that the first lady, Melania, is so angry, she's talking in tongues. It’s being reported that when Melania learned that she had been beat out for he cover of the next edition of Vogue M…Twitter and other corporations to monitor second debate with FOX News interpreters standing by
The second and final debate between President Trump and contender Joe Biden will take place tonight at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. Topics include Covid-19, climate change, national security, and leadership, with moderator Kristen W…Jeffrey Toolbin to moderate final Presidential Debate
New York, NY - Tool News Service According to the news wire, Jeffrey Toolbin has been promoted by The New Yorker and appointed as the moderator for the final Presidential Debate. Jeffrey “tool†Toobin has selected Michael Jackson’s Beat It as the…Trump Takes His Own Mute Button To Final Debate
Donald Trump has a secret weapon. It was hidden by his mask which he ripped off at the White House following his discharge from Walter Reed Hospital. Playing the accordion with his hands, Trump told the massed and masked news corps that he had a winn…Secret Documents Reveal That Rudy Giuliani is A Russian Spy
BALTIMORE â€" (Satire News) â€" Documents have been discovered by the iNews organization that clearly show that Trump attorney and long-time friend Rudy Giuliani is, in fact, a Russian agent. Although millions of Americans have suspected that all alon…Man Afraid That A Joe Biden Victory Will Lead To Him Having To Clean Up His Yard
A grumpy Minnesota man is concerned that a November 3 Joe Biden election victory will lead him to having to clean up his immensely cluttered lawn. Donald Crabby has been dumping his household trash all over his yard ever since Donald Trump won t…Biden Receiving Juvenile Chimpanzee Blood Plasma Before Debate
BILLINGSGATE POST: If Sleepy Joe comes out swinging from a vine before the debate tomorrow night, don’t be surprised. The secret is out. He is receiving chimpanzee blood plasma transfusions this week to rejuvenate himself. Crack investigative r…DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" According to Sports Territory Magazine, Jerry Jones may be contemplating putting his Dallas Cowboys on the market. STM’s Tango Brisket said that Jones told him that, at 78, he doesn’t know how much more disappointment he…
Kim Kardashian Regrets That She Willingly Allowed President Trump to Use Her
CALABASAS, California â€" (Celebrity Satire) â€" Kim Kardashian recently spoke with a reporter with the Gossipette Gazette, and talked about her visit to the White House in May of 2018. Kardashian said that she has never felt so used in her entire lif…41% of passing cars are black, observes Statistics Canada intern from dining room table
New Statistics Canada staff member Dwayne Nixon observed yesterday that more than two-fifths of cars passing his dining room window between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. were black, far exceeding the previous daily high of 24% recorded 56 days…Ann Widdicombe still hasn't ****** off
Despite repeatedly being told to **** off by people on Twitter, erstwhile Conservative politician Ann Widdicombe still refuses to. The former Strictly Come Dancing comedian, and Evil Edna from children's documentary Willo the Wisp brought to life…