Prince Louis Seen Without Face Mask

Prince Louis, the youngest son of Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, and his wife, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, has come in for some rather severe criticism tonight, after he was seen in public not wearing any kind of face protection.

Skeleton glad to be staying indoors

Skeleton Gary Jones is glad that, this year, he can stay in. 'No-one seems to be doing anything for Halloween this year, so I don't think I will,' said the strangely cheerful, bloodless, skinless and internal organ-less married father-of-three.

Photocopiers breathing a sigh of relief

Photocopiers across the country are breathing a sigh of relief, as all office Christmas parties have been banned, due to Covid 19. Gestetner 39ZX Donna said: 'Yes, thank God that Kevin and Amanda won't be photocopying their backsides this year. Am…

Spider's Web survives third week in the corner

Spider's web Gavin Williamson is smug, having survived his third week in the corner of your bedroom. The long piece of webbing, that began his life in the rear end of a spider, has smugly been hanging around in the corner because, as always, you d…

New day-in-the-life-of-a-sheep analytical study emerges with fast delivery from Amazon

Breaking: For the first time in Earth's history, a new type of author has been found, proudly announced through Amazon dot com and Mr. Bezos. That is, a sheep as scribeâ€"yes, from the animal of the species ovis balantes dispersusâ€"has emerged with a…

Ivanka Trump Birthday Latest

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Hapy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you! There were scenes of joy at the White House today, as President Trump's favorite daughter, Ivanka, celebrated her birthday in style, with a huge…

Trump v. Biden Big Fight Preview

As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President Trump in thi…

Intercept managers throw tantrum on Glenn Greenwald's report of Biden cluster-f*ck situation

The Intercept has clarified its editorial policies, following Glenn Greenwald's sudden departure from that organization. In essence, Mr. Greenwald "used to be" top-notch, but has fallen to new lows of self-serving and otherwise scratching his ass.

Adam Schiff refuses wrestling match with Bobulinski in Madison Square Gardens

Former business associate of Hunter Biden, Mr. Tony Bobulinski, yesterday invited Representative Schiff to a showdown and “manly resolution”. “In the old days, there was the duel,” Mr. Bobulinski (earlier an expert wrestler) said. “Today? Well, h…

Hammock Collapsed, Whilst Man's Wife Was Sleeping In It

Hammocks are a 'cool' way to relax and enjoy a rest, and are known for their comfort and ability to gently rock to sleep anyone in need of a long nap - until they collapse, that is! And, despite what you might think, hammocks collapse with alarmin…

Even rugby players can't tell the difference between Rugby League and Rugby Union

Due to a misunderstanding, a game was played in Huddersfield last weekend between Rugby League team Huddersfield Thickos and Rugby Union side Leeds Numbnuts. The cause of the gaffe has been traced back to a clerical error where the Thickos were ac…

America Disappears

The USA has completely disappeared. Canada and Mexico awoke today to find no land connecting them. Our correspondent in Tijuana, Sam Brero, says there were reports around the time of the US presidential election of one of the candidates dressed as a…

Smell Of Dead Animal Pervaded The Air In Room

The smell of death is not one easily forgotten once it has been smelt, and that was the case for one family this week, after they became aware of a dreadful stench, in their bedroom, of some kind of animal which, despite a lengthy search, could not b…

Ted Cruz to Twitter: “Stop Censuring Trump; My Wife IS Ugly and My Dad DID Kill JFK“

Washington - The presidents of Twitter, Facebook and Google were called in front of a Senate Committee chaired by Texas Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican who grilled the social media companies about actions they have taken to censure information on thei…

Special celebration in Italian town

People living in the southern Italian town of Brindisi have celebrated following the news that one of their own has been made a Legionnaire by the Italian Government. What this means is that the awarded person has the freedom of the town or city i…

Fox News Reports Some Election Night Hosts Are Out With The Coronavirus, So Scott Baio, Kanye West, and Diamond and Silk Will Be Stepping In

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The powers that be at Fox News are in a tizzy, after several of their top hosts and employees have tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus. iNews is reporting that Brett Baier, Martha MacCallum, Dana Perino, and…

Top 10 Reasons to Reelect President Trump

Here are the top 10 reasons for patriotic Americans to reelect President Donald J. Trump. But don’t worry if you can’t make it to the polls on election day. It might not matter at the end of that day. If, by some unimaginable fluke, President T…

President Trump Brags That His Border Wall Has Stopped The Flow of Counterfeit Tortillas

MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan â€" (Satire News) - President Trump spoke at a MAGA Campaign Haters Rally before a crowd of 89 to 91 people, who were shivering in the 17 degree weather. He told the crowd that he felt as fit as a five-month-old baby. He even…

Los Angeles Dodgers Player Justin Turner Showed Everyone He Is An Uncaring, Self-Centered, Mask-Less-Wearing Jerk

ARLINGTON, Texas â€" (Sports Satire) â€" After winning game 6 to capture the World Series Championship, player who had been removed from the game, after testing positive for COVID-19, suddenly darted out of his isolation cage, and onto the playing field.

US elections may be hacked by Russ Abbot

Security services have warned that the upcoming US presidential election may be hacked by 1980s comedian Russ Abbot. According to the CIA, Abbot has already launched millions of cyber attacks on the US over the last few years, mainly aimed at social…

Donald Bashar Assad Trump Retargets A-bombs, Nerve Gas?

The White House, Washington, D. C. A SOURful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof On Unverified Rumors. Millions from the left and right are preparing to pour into the streets of every metropolis, village and town in America following Tuesday's perhaps…

Cliff Richard needs a little help from his friends

Singer Cliff Richard has admitted he asked other noted performers such as Elton John, Elvis Costello and Rolf Harris to write songs for his new album. Sir Cliff was considering a new musical direction, and thought the other legends would help him ach…

Woman Looked As If She'd Got Dressed In The Dark

Fashions are different the world over, and it's a widely-used saying that "it wouldn't do for us all to look the same", but there are limits, and the way one woman was attired at the weekend left a man who saw her thinking that she might have got dre…

Snow White's Doc not qualified to give advice about Covid 19

Although he is known the world over as Doc, Doc from Snow White has no medical credentials, and so when asked for his advice about COVID-19, please take it with a pinch of salt. Living with Grumpy, Happy, the ironically-named Sneezy, and Snow Whit…

Picking noses in public in the UK is now forbidden!

(NOT EDITED) Latest Covid guidelines issued by the UK PM, and his advisors, has caused riots in major cities all over the country. Mainly men are protesting about the regulation because mainly men do it in public. Whereby, females tend to be more dis…

Canada's Trudeau emerges from months of self-isolation, wonders if this the year to wear blackface Halloween costume again

After months of self-isolation watching Happy Days reruns and Harry Potter movies on Netflix with his kids, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly spent most of Wednesday morning asking friends and staffers whether this Halloween was the o…

Trump Using Fake/Misleading Video About Biden

Donald Trump is using a faked, misleading video to ridicule opponent Joe Biden. Trump hasn't looked in the mirror lately. Fake and misleading is the tan makeup and Elvis red hair comb-over. Wearing the overcoat on a hot day is trying to fake and misl…

Jennifer Aniston Implores Everyone to Please, Please Not Vote For That Super Messed Up Clown Kanye West The Pest

HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that one of the most respected actresses in Tinsel Town is asking that no one vote for Kanye West. Jennifer Aniston said that she really and truly hopes that no one out there is dumb eno…

The Bear - Obama - Is Off His Leash

The Bear Is Off His Leash means that Barack Obama is on the campaign trail. While off the leash, Obama is gleefully bashing Donald Trump. During a campaign stop in Florida, former President Barack Obama made a campaign announcement by way of needling…

Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones is Considering Signing Tim Tebow To Be His Starting Quarterback

DALLAS â€" (Satire Sports) â€" Jerry Jones is in a world of hurt, as they say out yonder in the Lone Star state. The Cowboys owner is down to having to use his third-string quarterback, Ben DiNucci, after Dak Prescott and Andy Dalton have both been i…