Trump Does Not Want To Win Reelection
Donald Trump does not want to win reelection. He’s done everything to abuse the office, alienate supporters, create chaos with the Constitution, confuse our allies, scientists, even calling doctors thieves. Still, the crowds keep showing up and cheer…Liam Neeson 'Taken 4' Performance "Exceptional"
Fans of the 'Taken' movies will be interested to learn that the fourth film in the series, 'Taken 4: A Ride' will be released into cinemas a week on Monday, 9 November, or 9/11. Liam Neeson once again plays Bryan Mills, the former CIA operative wh…Man Killed Rat Before Going To Bed, Then Had Nightmare
Unusual experiences leading up to bedtime can have strange effects on our mibds once we have eventually got to sleep, and this was true for one man last night, after he spotted a rat in his house, and bashed its brains out with a sweeping brush. M…B. O. Plenty Endorses Sleepy Joe Biden
BILLINGSGATE POST: B. O. Plenty, the husband of Gravel Gertie and father of Sparkle Plenty, today announced his support for Sleepy Joe Biden. Sparkle was a child prodigy at the age of two. Already talking and doing chores at her home in Fontana, s…The Atlanta Falcons Have The Ugliest Football Playing Field in The Entire NFL
ATLANTA â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Sports Territory Magazine recently took a poll, and asked readers to choose their 'ugliest football stadium in the NFL'. STM writer Hiawatha Pamplona said that the overwhelming winner was Mercedes-Benz Stadium, home to…Prince Louis Seen Without Face Mask
Prince Louis, the youngest son of Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, and his wife, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, has come in for some rather severe criticism tonight, after he was seen in public not wearing any kind of face protection.President Trump is Mad at The World Because He Knows Melania Is Getting Ready to Divorce Him
MIAMI â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump somehow found the time to play golf at his own Trump Doral Golf Course. CNN reports that he rode around in a golf cart that the American taxpayers paid for, while millions of Americans are unemployed, and wi…NEW YORK CITY â€" CNN host Don “Rainbow†Lemon recently told fellow host Chris Cuomo that he has never known a man who hates women more than President Trump does. He pointed out that POTUS hates Senator Elizabeth Warren, Michigan Governor Gretchen W…
New day-in-the-life-of-a-sheep analytical study emerges with fast delivery from Amazon
Breaking: For the first time in Earth's history, a new type of author has been found, proudly announced through Amazon dot com and Mr. Bezos. That is, a sheep as scribeâ€"yes, from the animal of the species ovis balantes dispersusâ€"has emerged with a…The World Is Flat And Doctors Are Liars Says, Donald Trump
In his last-ditch attempt to win reelection, and kick COVID-19 into the history books, Donald Trump claims that COVID-19 is gone, over with, no longer an issue. With 9,000 dying 3 days before election day, Trump may as well say that the world is f…Skeleton glad to be staying indoors
Skeleton Gary Jones is glad that, this year, he can stay in. 'No-one seems to be doing anything for Halloween this year, so I don't think I will,' said the strangely cheerful, bloodless, skinless and internal organ-less married father-of-three.Spider's Web survives third week in the corner
Spider's web Gavin Williamson is smug, having survived his third week in the corner of your bedroom. The long piece of webbing, that began his life in the rear end of a spider, has smugly been hanging around in the corner because, as always, you d…Photocopiers breathing a sigh of relief
Photocopiers across the country are breathing a sigh of relief, as all office Christmas parties have been banned, due to Covid 19. Gestetner 39ZX Donna said: 'Yes, thank God that Kevin and Amanda won't be photocopying their backsides this year. Am…Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Hapy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you! There were scenes of joy at the White House today, as President Trump's favorite daughter, Ivanka, celebrated her birthday in style, with a huge…
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the Secret Service agents assigned to protect 14-year-old Barron Trump has said that he is very concerned with the President’s mental state. The unnamed agent commented that Trump is doing some really stra…
Trump v. Biden Big Fight Preview
As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President Trump in thi…A Hacker Hacks Into President Trump’s Campaign Website And Reveals Very Revealing Secrets
LAS VEGAS â€" (Satire News) â€" Political Salad Bar Magazine has stated that a computer hacker has hacked into President Trump’s campaign website. A private computing anti-hacking company told PSBM that the hacker is extremely professional, and was ab…Trump Using Fake/Misleading Video About Biden
Donald Trump is using a faked, misleading video to ridicule opponent Joe Biden. Trump hasn't looked in the mirror lately. Fake and misleading is the tan makeup and Elvis red hair comb-over. Wearing the overcoat on a hot day is trying to fake and misl…Two Million U.S. Presidential Election Ballots Are Discovered in a Dumpster in Mexico
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) â€" Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine is reporting that 2 million U.S. voting ballots were confiscated in Mexico by a task force comprising members with the FBI, CIA, IRS, and IUD. The ballots were transported on an Ae…Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones is Considering Signing Tim Tebow To Be His Starting Quarterback
DALLAS â€" (Satire Sports) â€" Jerry Jones is in a world of hurt, as they say out yonder in the Lone Star state. The Cowboys owner is down to having to use his third-string quarterback, Ben DiNucci, after Dak Prescott and Andy Dalton have both been i…Intercept managers throw tantrum on Glenn Greenwald's report of Biden cluster-f*ck situation
The Intercept has clarified its editorial policies, following Glenn Greenwald's sudden departure from that organization. In essence, Mr. Greenwald "used to be" top-notch, but has fallen to new lows of self-serving and otherwise scratching his ass.Adam Schiff refuses wrestling match with Bobulinski in Madison Square Gardens
Former business associate of Hunter Biden, Mr. Tony Bobulinski, yesterday invited Representative Schiff to a showdown and “manly resolutionâ€. “In the old days, there was the duel,†Mr. Bobulinski (earlier an expert wrestler) said. “Today? Well, h…The USA has completely disappeared. Canada and Mexico awoke today to find no land connecting them. Our correspondent in Tijuana, Sam Brero, says there were reports around the time of the US presidential election of one of the candidates dressed as a…
Top 10 Reasons to Reelect President Trump
Here are the top 10 reasons for patriotic Americans to reelect President Donald J. Trump. But don’t worry if you can’t make it to the polls on election day. It might not matter at the end of that day. If, by some unimaginable fluke, President T…Ted Cruz to Twitter: “Stop Censuring Trump; My Wife IS Ugly and My Dad DID Kill JFK“
Washington - The presidents of Twitter, Facebook and Google were called in front of a Senate Committee chaired by Texas Senator Ted Cruz, a Republican who grilled the social media companies about actions they have taken to censure information on thei…Hammock Collapsed, Whilst Man's Wife Was Sleeping In It
Hammocks are a 'cool' way to relax and enjoy a rest, and are known for their comfort and ability to gently rock to sleep anyone in need of a long nap - until they collapse, that is! And, despite what you might think, hammocks collapse with alarmin…Smell Of Dead Animal Pervaded The Air In Room
The smell of death is not one easily forgotten once it has been smelt, and that was the case for one family this week, after they became aware of a dreadful stench, in their bedroom, of some kind of animal which, despite a lengthy search, could not b…NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" The powers that be at Fox News are in a tizzy, after several of their top hosts and employees have tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus. iNews is reporting that Brett Baier, Martha MacCallum, Dana Perino, and…
Even rugby players can't tell the difference between Rugby League and Rugby Union
Due to a misunderstanding, a game was played in Huddersfield last weekend between Rugby League team Huddersfield Thickos and Rugby Union side Leeds Numbnuts. The cause of the gaffe has been traced back to a clerical error where the Thickos were ac…Special celebration in Italian town
People living in the southern Italian town of Brindisi have celebrated following the news that one of their own has been made a Legionnaire by the Italian Government. What this means is that the awarded person has the freedom of the town or city i…