Harry Maguire Revealed To Be Mere Figment Of Spoof Writer's Imagination
After all the many controversies concerning the Manchester United and England defender 'Harry Maguire' over the last two years, it's been revealed that the hard-as-nails Brick Shithouse is merely a fictional character created by the overactive imagin…Northern City Still Out In Front In Race To Oblivion
As the second spike of the Coronavirus really gets into its stride, with infection rates rising all over mainland Britain, the city of Hull, in East Yorkshire, has emerged as the runaway leader in the Race to Oblivion, the virus infection 'league' sp…Obama's New Book: George Clooney And Lindsey Lohan Sharing The Lincoln Bedroom With Harry Maguire
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a gossipy chapter of Barack Obama’s new book, The Promised Land, Obama recalls that George Clooney was without a date for the White House Correspondent's Dinner because Stacy Keibler had stiffed him at the last minute. The…Man Was So Tired, He Dreamt He Was Falling Asleep
A man was so physically and mentally exhausted after he finished his morning shift today, that he fell into a deep slumber, and, as he slept, he dreamt a dream in which he was so tired, that he just couldn't keep himself from falling asleep. Moys…Where To Hang Trump’s White House Portrait?
Though President Trump is being uncooperative and failing to concede, the White House Historical Society will have to commission a portrait of him. While he will not have to pose, the question has been raised: Where to hang the Donald Trump portrait…A writer on a satirical news and parody website has published a story which, he hopes, will break the world record for the length of headline it contains, it being a humongously-long 42 words! The writer concerned has tried to ensure, however, tha…
Federal Judge Dismisses Trump Campaign Pennsylvania Lawsuit
Federal judges are passing rubber stamps to one another, dismissing Trump lawsuits. Trump’s lawsuits are running up in numbers around the country but to no avail. Trump lost the election. Old news. Apparently, Trump and his family don’t understand tw…Coming Soon To A Toilet Near You -- Fresh Air!
We've all been there: "Whew! Do NOT go in there! YEOW!" "Oh, my God! Did you do this?! Did you do THIS?!" "That wasn't me!" And the classic: "I don't remember eating that!" I am referring to the humanity-sharing experience of vi…Supreme Court Will Order Re-run of Presidential Election
Washington, D. C. Exclusive to The Spoof. Having lost 35 of 35 cases alleging fraud in the presidential election, President Donald Trump's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, today filed with the Supreme Court a petition calling for a re-run of the pr…UCLA Starts Season 1-2* With An Asterisk
Autzen Stadium, Eugene, Oregon. S. O. S. report from Spoof On Sports. The UCLA Bruins beat themselves with four turnovers, Saturday afternoon, as they fell 38-35 to the highly-ranked Oregon Ducks, in a game the Westwooders could have won. But, havin…Pig squeals in news room; offers lipstick for vote tallies
Indications of voter fraud in the recent presidential election are mounting, including an unusual feud on the right between Tucker Carlson and Trump lawyer, Sidney Powell. Tucker is not happy that Ms. Powell would not appear on his show with “evid…Jaggedone's daily, non-tabloid, CIA, fake news! Nothing escapes his global roach reporters!
(NOT EDITED) Here we go! Jaggedone's: Daily CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) Tabloid Fake News, Not! MEXICAN BEER PRODUCER HAPPY FOR LATEST WHITE HOUSE PUBLICITY STUNT! Corona Beer global sales have rocketed ever since a Junior Trump declar…Party Announces New Regulations to Protect Free Speech
PARTY ANNOUNCES NEW REGULATIONS TO PROTECT FREE SPEECH --Common-sense reforms promote Truth, Unity, and Accountability ------------------ WASHINGTON, DC â€" The Party today announced that Richard Stengel has been appointed Team Lead for the Un…Barack Obama Discovers Fat Man In Filthy Robe In His Kitchen
It's a well-known fact that celebrity always has its negative side, usually in the form of 'privacy issues, and that was the case this week with ex-President Barack Obama, who came downstairs to prepare breakfast on Saturday morning to find an intrud…Barack Obama Writes About His Mother-In-Law In His New Book
BILLINGSGATE POST: In his new book, A Promised Land, Barack Obama dedicates a whole chapter to his mother-in-law. He describes the relationship he had with Michelle’s mother: “Mrs. Robinson, my mother-in-law, lived her entire life in Chicago.The Miami Fire Department Says They Will No Longer Be Accepting Unwanted Alligators
MIAMI â€" (Satire News) â€" The Miami Fire Department says that they are discontinuing their “Bring Us Your Unwanted Alligators†program. Fire Chief Lancelot “Sparky†Singletree told the news media that, at first, they could deal with getting one or t…Navy Seals Will Take Trump Out
Asked during an interview by Jimmy Kimmel whether Donald Trump could hide out somewhere in a White House cubbyhole, former President Barack Obama confidently replied, “Oh, the Navy Seals will take him out.†Take him out? Certainly, Obama didn’t me…Good manners are usually the result of good parenting, but, in one household last week, it was a case not of having been 'brought up', but rather 'dragged up' - and, seemingly, by the scruff of the neck. Oscar Scrote, who is only 9, looks cute eno…
Golden State Warriors’ Star Klay Thompson Out For The Entire Season Due To Flickabulina
OAKLAND â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The entire Golden State Warriors organization is devastated, as team doctors have just announced that superstar Klay Thompson will be out for the entire season. Team physician Dr. Murray Bellacappela told the sports med…WEST MONROE, Louisiana â€" (Satire News) â€" The patriarch of the reality show “Duck Dynasty†is, as they say down in the bayous of Louisiana, in a world of hurt. Phil Robertson, who runs Duck Commander Duck Whistles, is alleged to have sold 4,000 duc…
You know you've achieved success when others start to emulate your work, and that's exactly what happened on a satirical news website earlier today, when one contributor wrote a story with an extremely long headline, just as one of the site's other w…
Newsom rushed to brain trauma unit following confrontation with computer assistant
Directly following his recent embarrassment at being caught at a dinner for twelve with no masks, and no social distancing, California's Governor Newsom is again in trouble. Additionally, the Governor's claim of the restaurant's setting as “outdoo…Rudy Giuliani's Hair Dye - The Truth
Whilst joining words together that had no right to exist in the same sentence, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani's hair dye decided that it had had enough. 'Imagine my surprise,' said the dark liquid, 'when I ended up on Rudy Giuliani's hair. I…Boy Sent To Bed Early Laughs At Parents By Reading Porn Mag
A naughty boy who had been sent to bed an hour before his usual bedtime for being cheeky to his mum and dad, exacted an evil revenge on them by doing just as he was told to do, and then browsing through some pornographic literature he'd 'borrowed' fr…Michael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Hornets Says His New Player Will Be The NBA's Next Superstar
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The LeVar Ball Family is extremely thrilled after son LaMelo was selected by the Charlotte Bobcats in this year's NBA draft. The Bobcats are owned by Michael Jordan, as in Micheal Jordan, the greatest…President-Elect Joe Biden Says He Will Think About Making Puerto Rico The 51st State
DOVER, Delaware â€" (Satire News) â€" One of President-Elect Joe Biden’s aides has stated that Biden is seriously considering making Puerto Rico the 51st state. Biden has stated, on several occasions, that the United States will greatly benefit from t…'How to be a succesfull bully' by Biff Tannen
Hello everybody, You might remember me from a series of documentaries set in the 1980s called Back to the Future. The first time you saw me, I was a bullying middle manager. The second time, I was a bullying teenager, who happened to be punche…Dutch female 84-year-old, poker-faced, poker player, divulges her life-long winning secrets!
(NOT EDITED) After a career of playing poker with all-comers of all ages, and winning, a Dutch 84-year-old has decided to divulge her secrets, but only to her sons, who never had a chance of beating her. Before she goes completely loopy, she has d…Kanye West Who Came In Third In The Presidential Election Is Now Demanding A Recount
EAST HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" Kanye West, the entertainer who came in third in the presidential election, has told Vice-President Pence that he is demanding a recount. West the Pest says that he feels that a lot of people did not vote for him s…Donald Trump’s Last Big Deal
Donald Trump’s “golden†years don’t look promising. He is burdened with personally guaranteed debt that will be difficult to refinance; besieged by lawsuits, which he will not be able to delay much longer; and being badgered by a number of state att…