Man Has Got A Great Big Boil On His Arse
News just reaching us in the last few minutes is that a dirty, great big boil has been discovered on a man's arse, and may need lancing by a qualified medical professional. The boil sprang up on the arse of Moys Kenwood, 57, on Sunday morning, and…We all have them to make at some point in our lives, and tough decisions are, by their very nature, not easy ones to take, and that is exactly the case for one man during the coming weeks, as he faces what might quite possibly be the toughest decisio…
Why Talk To The Monkey (Sleepy Joe) When You can Talk To The Organ Grinder (George Soros)?
BILLINGSGATE POST: If there were any doubt about who is the monkey and who is the organ grinder running the Democrat Party, this doubt was cast aside with the news that the president of George Soros’ Open Society Foundations, Patrick Gaspard, will r…Rehearsals for Obama needle jab start soon; cast expanding
Mr. Obama has said he will step forward to get the Covid 19 vaccine in a televised event to encourage confidence in the public. This versus 36% of nurses who say they will not take it, and that, contrary to usual procedures, the vaccines have been…Manchester United demand they start games in the second half!
(NOT EDITED) All the negative adjectives in the English dictionary can be slung at Manchester United in a series of quite disgraceful first 45-minute performances! Their manager, Ole, has found a solution to this problem and is demanding the EFA (Eng…With all the constant noise, contradictions, lies, exaggerations, and buffoonery coming out of Donald Trump, many, many, and still many, many more are asking: Is anyone really listening to Donald Trump? Is Trump relevant? Short reply: No. L…
Dr. Fauci Says President Trump Needs To Visit An Exorcist
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has made his strongest comment yet, regarding the President. Dr. Fauci, who h…Man Couldn't Hear What Son Was Saying Because His Mouth Was Full
There was confusion aplenty in one household at breakfast time this morning, as a man who was speaking to his young son couldn't understand what he was saying because his mouth was full of Coco Pops. That is, 'the man couldn't understand what his…Ivanka Trump Opens New Pop-Up Celebrity Covid Vaccination Clinic
News that the ex-president’s wife/daughter, Ivanka, has jumped on the Covid bandwagon to make a fast buck from it came as no surprise to the hastily-assembled press pack summoned to the White House this morning. Instead of the usual briefing, a t…Melania Offers Bidens Personal Tour of White House “Especially if Hunter Will Be Thereâ€
Washington - Melania Trump has reached out to future First Lady Jill Biden to offer a personally conducted tour of the White House living quarters for the Biden family. “I especially would like to extend my welcome to all of the extended Biden fam…Mental Case Dyes His Beard Orange
There was real drama in Karachi yesterday when a local man who is known to be a bit of a headcase, appeared in public having dyed his beard orange. Indeed, anyone casting a mere cursory glance at the man might not even have thought it was a beard…Pint of best Bitter and a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps will stop environmental destruction!
(NOT EDITED) Cows, sheep, oxen, and other herds of animals have been blamed for farting too much! Mega-tons of methane gas are released into the atmosphere causing the planet to warm up, not polluted factories, airplanes, cars, trucks, and other huma…Hollywood Remakes Linda Lovelace’s X-Rated Porn Classic “Deep Throatâ€
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" 1972 was the year that a roller-skating Sonic Drive-In car hop became the most famous porn star in the world. Linda Lovelace was chosen by producers of the X-rated movie “Deep Throat†because of her amazingly natural ac…#1 Ranked Alabama Could Be Facing NCAA Sanctions
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) - Fans of number one-ranked University of Alabama (8-0) are holding their collective breaths, as the Crimson Tide is being investigated for possible collegiate violations. Johnny Mariachi, director of the NCAA’s Rul…Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Chosen To Be First Recipient Of Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move that is sure to surprise many once they've been made aware of it, the Manchester United defender and captain, Harry Maguire, has been selected by the British government to be the very first recipient in the country - and, therefore, on Eart…Mexico Asks US To Increase Height Of Border Wall
With the Coronavirus now spreading through all US states like wildfire, the number of positive cases having risen above 14 million, and deaths currently heading for 300,000, the Mexican government has asked Donald Trump if he wouldn't mind finishing…Connecticut Is Getting Into The Cocaine Business
HARTFORD â€" (Satire News) â€" After much controversy, the state of Connecticut has finally informed the media that it has voted to legalize cocaine by a vote of 74 to 7, with 19 abstaining. Senator Kingston P. Riffkit, 84, told Boom Boom News that, a…Experience: I was sexually assaulted by Margaret Thatcher
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…Trump suffers from severe hearing loss, keeps saying, ‘pardon me’.
Sean P. Conley, the White House physician, has confirmed that there are definite signs that President Trump, like Caesar, has turned a deaf ear to the no-concession advice from his inner circle and loquacious sons. Even the syrupy praise of Hanni…(NOT EDITED) The one and only, infamous, linguistic, illiterate idiot in his own language, Jaggedone, has been commissioned by renowned professors from the Goethe Institute in Munich to modernize their Jurassic, Nazi-influenced, phonetic alphabet.
President Trump Puts His 2 Cents In Regarding Vanderbilt Kicker Sarah Fuller
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The President spoke with his favorite television host, Maria Bartiromo, with Fox News, and told her that, as far as he is concerned, she is the prettiest and sexiest woman on television. He pointed out that he…Megan Thee Stallion To Have Her Humongous Tits Reduced
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" It’s no secret in the entertainment world that rapper Megan Thee Stallion’s breasts are the biggest ones to come down the entertainment pike in a long time. Bravo Network's Andy Cohen has called the singer with the two…COVID-19 Not All 'Doom And Gloom', Says Man
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, always gets a bad rep, and we hear, on a daily basis, about how terrible it is, and about all the negative aspects connected with it. The huge number of infections, the tragic deaths, how health services have become over…Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’
Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios, Mr Michael Mouse, announc…Ann Coulter Denies She Had Trump’s Baby
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Republican pundit and woman who looks like she’s on stilts, Ann Coulter, appeared on The Tucker Carlson Show. Ann, who some have referred to as a human tongue depressor with hair, said she’s glad Donald Trump lost.Will Mike Pence Dump Donald Trump?
This is a question many have been asking, away, of course, from Trump’s earshot: Will Vice President Mike Pence dump Donald Trump? Trump is getting a little too iffy, insisting 2020 was a rigged election, making inflammatory statements pitting re…President Trump Is Now Blaming Space Aliens For His Loss
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that President Trump is now saying that the reason for his landslide loss to Joe Biden is due to space aliens. The sad, aging man who is turning into a zombie, before our very eyes, in…Trump To Pardon Children In Cages
In a move that will warm the very cockles of the heart of every single reader, as well as countless millions of his own supporters who just knew this day must come, President Donald Trump has decided to pardon all the children being held in cages alo…Lame Duck Trump Is Illegally Selling Coronavirus Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The FBI has just discovered yet one more business scam that Trump is involved in. Recordings made at Trump’s International Hotel, allegedly show him working out a business deal with a vaccine dealer from Detroit,…More People Discovered To Be Living In Bangladesh Than In Russia
In news that will, no doubt startle some readers, and bore others to tears, it's been discovered that, despite the vast difference in the geographical proportions of the two countries, there are more people living in tiny Bangladesh than there are in…