Elon Musk Will Lead a Group of Volunteers To Colonize The Moon Very Soon
AUSTIN â€" (Satire News) â€" One of the world’s foremost space explorers recently told Alpha Beta News Agency’s Mimosa Sabrosa of his next space exploratory goal. As of September, 2021, Musk is the second richest man in the world, right behind Amazon’…HOLLYWOOD, Florida â€" (Sports Satire) â€" There is an old expression that says that one stayed a little bit too long at the fuckin’ rodeo. And that is exactly what 59-year-old Evander Jemima Holyfield did. The dummy got greedy and he got his greedy o…
Yes, Elon Musk did it again. Like Tesla wasn’t enough of an accomplishment, he followed Tesla with SpaceX. Cutting expenses, SpaceX is designed to work with reusable parts; and soft landings on barges in the ocean. Pretty soon, SpaceX transport was d…
A Volcano Is Discovered In Lake Michigan
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) â€" US meteorologists from Maine to Oregon are puzzled-as-hell at the discovery of a volcano that has suddenly formed overnight in Lake Michigan. The Alpha Beta News Agency was the first news outlet to report on the volcano,…Elon Musk's Space X’s "Imagination-4" Returns Triumphantly After a Successful 3-Day Orbit
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida â€" (Satire News) - A team of 4 unprofessional astronauts who lifted off on board the Falcon-9 rocket "Imagination-4," from the President Joseph “Joey†Biden Launch Complex 39-IUD at the Kennedy Space Center for a 3-day explorat…US Treasury announces unavoidable bankruptcy of Federal Government
Unable to print enough money to fund spending, DC to go bankrupt this coming Tuesday night at midnight. Establishment Washington OUTRAGED to discover being liberal doesn't mean you never have to pay your bills. Biden blames Trump. "If former pr…McDonalds Introduces McEscargots
CICERO, Illinois â€" (Business Satire) â€" The McDonalds Corporation is always on the look-out for new and interesting food items to feature in their “Mc†meal menu. The Daily Max has just learned that their latest foray into the new item competition…The Hezbollah Terrorist Group Officially Changes Its Name To The Nicer Sounding Hezzy
GECKO GULCH, Lebanon â€" (Satire World) â€" The Terrorist organization known as Hezbollah, has decided to take the advice of a Portuguese consulting firm and change their name. Bipoli Yayamana, a spokesperson for the Lebanon-based group, said that the…The Internet Has Just Shut Down The Terrorist Website www.terroristmothereffers.sic
MANHATTAN, New York â€" (Satire News) â€" Acting on a tip from information guru Andy Cohen, the Internet has taken steps to shut down a website that is run by members of four of the world’s most notorious terrorist groups. The four groups include the…That pub band who play classic rock are still going
Although they have a collected age of 273 pub band Lemon Twist are still playing the music that they loved in the 1970s. The band's youngest member, singer Cassidy Wainwright 63, can still hit the notes for The Boys Are Back in Town, Alright Now,…Trump To Have Surgery To Remove His Female Ovaries
LOS ANGELES â€" (Satire News) â€" Melania has just let the cat (or rather the ovaries) out of the bag. She let it slip to her BFF LeBron James, that her husband, the United States income tax evader, recently learned that he has two female ovaries next…Barry Blobfish still not trending on twitter
Despite many attempts, #BarryBlobfish still hasn't trended on Twitter. Blobfish, known for their comedic miserable expressions and pinkness are not the most attractive of creatures, as Barry a Blobfish of quite an upbeat and even temperament point…MANHATTAN â€" (Satire News) â€" Traci Diddle with National Rumblings said that she spoke with the former first daughter and she is positively nervous, worried, and scared-as-shit. Sweet Lips, as DJT calls his favorite child, said that just within the…
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) â€" Iowa’s Department of Statistics has stated that due to a tremendous increase in Iowans engaging in oral sex, condom sales have fallen drastically. One Evangelical male, Lollard Q. Fugfit, 83, excitingly said that…
Scotland Yard Foils A Taliban Plot To Kidnap British Hate-Monger Piers Morgan
LONDON â€" (Satire News) â€" Buckingham Palace is reporting that a plan by the Taliban to kidnap Piers Morgan has been stopped by England’s crack Scotland Yard. Tickety Boo News reporter Neville Twickenbuck, spoke with Queen Elizabeth, who was so shoo…The Kremlin is Reporting That Putin Has Blocked Trump
MOSCOW â€" (Satire News) â€" Word coming out of the Kremlin states that Russian President Vladimir Putin has just gone into his Facebook account and blocked the one-term, twice-impeached, former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Donald Trump. Repo…Forklift Sex: Biden Runs Amok In Forbidden City
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) have forklifts been allowed in this protected area, where the Yongle Emperor - Zhu Di - built the palaces, gardens and courtyards that occupy the Forbidden City. When then Vice President J…Rick Astley and The Blossoms will perform the songs of Kajagoogoo
Following on from teaming up to sing the songs of the Smiths, and selling out all of the gigs in 8 minutes, Rick Astley and Stockport band The Blossoms have announced that their next record will be the complete works of Kajagoogoo. Starting with t…Millenial shocked to realise old people know a lot about the world as well
Millenial Luke Cosgrove is shocked to learn that old people know a lot about the world as well. 'Like I was talking to my Dad the other day, and he was telling me all about Pink Floyd and the Beatles, and I was shocked to learn that he knew about…So Donald Trump Was Nuts! Who knew?
Senate and House Republicans are outraged, totally outraged because General Milley prevented World War III with China. One would think that Republicans would be grateful. But no. Instead, Republicans claim that General Milley had no right to beco…California’s New Tourism Slogan: Please Ignore The Wildfire Smoke â€" and Enjoy The Avocado Toast
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The state of California, which has suffered from earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, bumper-to-bumper traffic, smog, tsunamis, and Trump’s ass-kissing little fairy Scott Baio, has just spent $19.3 million on a new advertisi…MANHATTAN â€" (Satire News) â€" Scandal Today has just learned that Trump’s favorite child, the 6-foot-tall bleached blonde Amazon woman does in fact have a landing strip. ST reporter Cheyenne Patio spoke with Ivanka’s massage therapist, who confirmed…
General Marmaduke Barks Up Wrong Tree: Makes Peking Duck Nuclear Attack
BILLINGSGATE POST: General Marmaduke Milley, the lead mutt on the Joint Chiefs of Staff dog sled, reportedly called his counterpart in China to give him a “heads up†before President Trump unleashed a nuclear attack. In a soon to be released ficti…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" President Biden has just signed what insiders are saying is without a doubt his most favorite PEO since taking office. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki informed the news media that the site for the brand new…
Melania Trump Says That Donald Is Being a Real Asshole by Repeatedly Taunting Their Two Pet Goldfish
MARA-a-LAGO - (Satire News) - One of the maids, who works for the Trumps at their Florida mansion told a reporter with iRumors that Melania is extremely upset. The maid, who said that she was originally from Mozambique, but is as white as Nicole K…SACRAMENTO, California â€" (Satire News) â€" Papaya Bamboo with Tabloid Today, has just commented that the California Recall of Gov. Newsom fell as flat as Ann Coulter’s chest. The people of California have spoken, and they have, by an overwhelming ma…
Laos Accidentally Bombs and Invades Cambodia
PYONGYANG, North Korea â€" (World Satire) â€" North Korea’s national news agency, the Rice Paddy News, is reporting that the government of Laos has bombed and invaded the neighboring country of Cambodia by mistake. A reporter with RPN stated that the…Trump Takes Credit for California Recall Result
The inept, and not particularly popular, Governor Gavin Newsom of California easily won a Tuesday recall election. Not surprisingly, there are differing interpretations of the results. Newsom sees his victory as an overwhelming mandate for his…Toddler realising world doesn't revolve around him
Toddler Brian Worthington has the sinking feeling that the world doesn't revolve around him, as he always thought it did. 'It was shocking' said Brian 'I was having a tantrum in the shop, and Mum and Dad just ignored me. The lady at the check-out…