Man Got Cramp Whilst Having A Dump
A man who frequently suffers from agonizing muscle cramps in his legs has revealed how he had to endure one of the worst cramp attacks he can remember, at the weekend, during a middle-of-the-night visit to the toilet for a shit. The painful incide…"If God Wanted a Liberal on the Supreme Court…"
Hamburger, Virginia. U.S.A. Woof Blister with another SINful report for Spoof International News. Jerry Farewell, Jr., defrocked president of Hypocrisy College, the world's most rhapsodic university, met with reporters as he was cleaning out his pala…President Trump might be suffering from a lack of voter confidence in the pre-election opinion polls, but he can sure count on the support of at least one major player - the Coronavirus. COVID-19 is a big fan of Donald Trump. In fact, it's fair to…
Death Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg Proves God Has A Sense Of Humor
Heavenly Headlines: The death of an icon, a miracle, a giant like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, proves God has a sense of humor! If Ruth Ginsburg had been a Republican conservative on the bench, believing women belonged in the kitchen, barefoot and pregna…The NFL Will Be Hitting NFL Coaches with Hefty Fines If They Are Caught Without Their Masks
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says that he is not going to baby anyone; especially adult, mature NFL football coaches. The commissioner, who says that he has never had so much stress as he does now, what with wor…ELEPHANT BUTT, Ohio â€" (Satire News) â€" The 45th president spoke to a crowd of supporters and semi-supporters in the tiny town of Elephant Butt. And, right off the bat, he took a shot at the black Democratic vice-presidential candidate, Kamala Harr…
Government Ministers In A&E Crisis
Government health adviser Gerda Funnifeelin says she is concerned about the Government's response to an A&E crisis. “Many ministers don’t appear to able to distinguish their A from their E,†she said. “That is despite taking their 100k, and being…Suicide rates peak in the UK as government announce 10 PM closures in pubs and clubs!
(NOT EDITED) Covid 19 is killing less, no doubt. However, infection rates are soaring all over the planet, and especially in the UK because younger boozers and clubbers are so utterly irresponsible, they are causing 'Covid Peaks' all over the country…Millennial Film Review: Mel Gibson's Sequel to the Passion of the Christ
The New York Post reports that Mel Gibson has begun work on a sequel to his blockbuster film, “The Passion of the Christâ€, which, for those unfamiliar with the Bible, tells the story of a carpenter from Galilee and twelve homeless men who follow him…DVD Player Keeps 'Sticking' Halfway Through Films
There's nothing like settling back on the settee with the wife, a nice drink, and a packet of salt 'n' vinegar crisps, and watching a DVD, but one man has told how his enjoyment of these televisual feasts has been ruined recently, after his DVD playe…NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Ashburn Wasabi, with The Right Coast Revue, writes that the political phrase “Playing Politics†has never been more appropriate than it is today with the undisputed “King of Hatred†who sits in the White House, at lea…
A man who started to read a new and potentially exciting book yesterday afternoon, was astonished when he opened it up at Chapter 1, only to find the pages had no numbers! 'La Reve' ('The Dream') by noted French writer Emile Zola was the book, and…
Philadelphia Eagles' Wentz Booed Off the Field By Cardboard Fans
In Sunday’s game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Los Angeles Rams, Eagles’ quarterback, Carson Wentz, was booed off the field after throwing his second interception of the game. While this was surprising, even more surprising was the fact th…Vice President Mike Pence Takes Steps To Quash Donald Trump
The telephone operators at the Vice President’s residence listened to the conversations between Pence and the rest of the Cabinet. If the conversation was saleable, it pointed toward early retirement. “Time to send Trump back to Trump Tower. He’s…MANCHESTER, England â€" (Sports Satire) â€" London's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Manchester United footballer Jacob Harry Maguire is very upset about the news of him being caught with performance enhancing drugs. The Red Devils star said that h…
The LeBron James - Colby Covington Feud Is Getting Really Nasty
LOS ANGELES â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Los Angeles Lakers superstar LeBron James talked with TMZ, and said that this Johnny Come Lately punk UFC fighter Colby Covington’s big mouth, needs to stop writing checks that his body can’t cash, to use an old Swahil…Ginsburg To Be Stuffed And Mounted On Trigger In Branson Museum
BILLINGSGATE POST: The most famous dead horse in the world will be joined by Ruth Bader Ginsburg at a museum in Branson, Missouri, where Roy Rogers’ faithful steed Trigger is displayed. Trigger was a horse, of course. Like Ginsburg, who graduated…Ginsberg’s Death Spurs Two Congressional Investigations.
Judge Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death within just weeks of the presidential election is spurring two expedited congressional investigations. Adam Schiff, Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, is investigating whether the Russians, with Trump’s know…Dallas Cowboys Players 'Snorted Cocaine' At Halftime, Claims Fan
The Dallas Cowboys like to do it the hard way, and they did it the hard way against Atlanta last night, after coming back from a huge first quarter deficit of 20 points, and a 29-10 halftime reverse, to steal the game away from the Falcons 'at the de…Global bank purchases 5000 washing machines to launder their filthy money!
(NOT EDITED) German electro giants, Miele, have just done a mega-deal with a giant, global bank. They've flogged and delivered one of their most sufficient washing machines to locations all over the planet. The bank who purchased the machines, req…Man Pours Pepsi Into Coca-Cola Glass And Blows Up Own House
A man from Toronto, Canada discovered the hard way that when you pour something into a decorative Coca-Cola glass, it had better damn well be Coke. For oblivious Torontonian, Shtee Maginnon, pouring his third choice of beverage into one of his fa…Manchester United Set To Sign Player With Foreign Name
There's been frantic activity in the football transfer market this afternnon, with several of the top Premier League clubs swelling their ranks with a whole host of skilful, talented, overpaid primadonnas, who will, no doubt, take those clubs for eve…2020 Lindsey Graham: “Don’t Listen to 2016 Lindsey Graham He’s a Liar!â€
Washington - Speaking before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Monday, Chairman Senator 2020 Lindsey Graham said he would push through a replacement for Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg immediately, not even pausing to commemorate the fallen…New York City Prostitutes Are Angry That President Trump Has Cut Off Their Unemployment Benefits
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that there are lots of unhappy, unemployed streetwalkers in the Big Apple. It seems that all of the city’s prostitutes are no longer receiving their unemployment benefits, since President Trump…Trump Moves To Create Tik Tok History Academies in Each State
Donald Trump announced today, with Bitsy Devoss by his side, a plan to create nationwide academies funded by Tik Tok, to teach what he claims to be "correct" American History. "Today, with the help of a Chinese-owned digital giant, we are announci…Biden Casually Kills Off Two Thirds of Americans
Yesterday, in a speech honoring the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Joe Biden took the opportunity to criticize President Trump for his handling of the coronavirus. According to Mr. Biden, by the time he finished his speech, about 200 million Americans, or…Manchester United fan decides to watch football, so he goes to Liverpool!
Manchester United are supposed to be a giant English football team. However, many of their fans cannot believe they are actually playing the game they are supposed to be playing! Their players kick the ball, yes; they have eleven players on the pi…Second Impeachment Trial For Donald Trump
Ouch! One more time! Donald Trump has secluded himself in the White House, stunned with the revelation that Democrats are mulling over the possibility of a second impeachment trial. So reported a White House source. Maybe even before Christma…Dak Prescott and The Dallas Cowboys Silence The Boo Birds
DALLAS â€" (Sports Satire) â€" The Dallas Cowboys started the game looking more like the Dallas Cowgirls as they fumbled, jumbled, and stumbled as if they were playing on ice. Jerry Jones’ Cowboys acted as if the ball was covered with 30 weight motor…Deja Voodoo: Biden Names Kamala Harris For Supreme Court
BILLINGSGATE POST: With the news that Kamala “Breath†Harris had supplanted him for top billing on the Democrat Presidential ticket, Joe Biden returned the favor by choosing her to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the Supreme Court. To put this in…