COVID-19 Not All 'Doom And Gloom', Says Man

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, always gets a bad rep, and we hear, on a daily basis, about how terrible it is, and about all the negative aspects connected with it. The huge number of infections, the tragic deaths, how health services have become over…

More People Discovered To Be Living In Bangladesh Than In Russia

In news that will, no doubt startle some readers, and bore others to tears, it's been discovered that, despite the vast difference in the geographical proportions of the two countries, there are more people living in tiny Bangladesh than there are in…

Trump Would Shout Rigged Tennis Match If He Lost To Roger Federer

To throw a tantrum, and claim that he really won the 2020 election, and that the outcome was rigged, would be like Trump playing Roger Federer at tennis, getting beaten in a golden set match, then claim the match was rigged. No way could Trump bea…

Trump to Pardon Matt Gaetz From Any Pending Charges That He’s an Annoying Tool

Washington - President Donald Trump, on his way out of the White House after being defeated by Joe Biden, has pardoned a number of his political cronies including, recently, formerly National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. He is also considering pa…

George Michael To Be Remembered Again At Christmas

As the world tries desperately to come to terms with the Coronavirus and all the changes it has brought to everyday life, it's fair to say that this Christmas might be one unlike any other. Shopping for presents in the High Street, if it's permitt…

Trump To Pardon Children In Cages

In a move that will warm the very cockles of the heart of every single reader, as well as countless millions of his own supporters who just knew this day must come, President Donald Trump has decided to pardon all the children being held in cages alo…

Notorious Spoof Forums hit brick walls!

(NOT EDITED) Moses and his Exodus could not have escaped quicker than Spoofers on Spoof Forums running for their literary lives! A once so cherished institution has derailed, and hit buffers with impunity; why? This dark mystery has yet to be solv…

Tea Was Almost Without Color

A man who ill-advisedly attempted to make a second cup of tea with a Lipton's tea bag now says he regrets the plan, after the resultant 'brew' was left looking the same color as a bowl of Quaker Oats. Or, maybe, wallpaper paste. The cuppa was m…

Freezing German farm cats give farmer filthy looks and 'down tools!'

(NOT EDITED) Eifel, Germany: A bunch of shivering farm cats, not allowed into the farmhouse because they should be doing their jobs; hunting mice in the barn, and outside, have decided to go on strike because their butts are too cold! Farm cats ca…

National Gandhi Day Sparks 4-Day Riots

Iconic Indian Chef Mr Gandhi, who was the creator of the legendary Buryani, and had also played international cricket in his spare time, was due to have a statue erected in his honour to mark the anniversary of his death. BLM activists got wind of it…

President Trump Praises The Founder of the Ku Klux Klan

CRACKERHEAD, Georgia â€" (Satire News) - The President spoke before a crowd of 27 at a Walmart parking lot, and told them that he promises he will never, ever leave the White House, even if someone kidnaps his son, Eric. Trump, who is becoming more…

Pardon Christmas Gifts For Trump Children

Santa Claus is coming to Washington D.C. looking just like Donald J. Trump. The three eldest Trump children, plus the son-in-law and Giuliani, are looking for pardons as Christmas gifts. The question is: Why would the five require pardons? Cr…

Uruguayan greetings sensitive Brits will 'nunca comprender! What a load of 'cojones!'

(NOT EDITED) Innocent, South American footy players, earning their dosh in the UK, are mostly unaware of ultra-sensitive Brits, willing to pounce on anything they do, or say, without even understanding a single thing about South American cultures, tr…

Santa Claus Told To Stay At Home This Christmas

It's been announced in the last few minutes that a Coronavirus Think Tank made up of representatives from the world's leading powers has issued a strong warning to Santa Claus, telling him to stay at home this Christmas. Claus is known to be somet…

Match.com Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction; Ransom Note Wins for Poetry

NEW YORK â€" The 2020 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today, and among the Fiction and Poetry categories were two surprises. In the fiction category, the match.com profile of Dennis Snead of Burlington, Wisconsin, was selected for its ‘innova…

President Trump Sells a Destroyer to Kim Jong-un

WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The FBI has announced that the United States government has just sold a U.S. destroyer to North Korea. FBI agent Aloysius Browser told the news media that the sale was discovered when a White House cleaning lady…

Sean Hannity Tells President Trump To High-Tail It To Mexico Mucho Quicko

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" In what many television news reporters are saying is an amazing development in The Trump Gone Bat Shit Crazy Saga, the President’s biggest supporter, bar none, has just given him some earth-shattering news. POTUS ma…

Jake Tapper Interviews Dog With Two Assholes

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath” Harris, bring…

Man Says There Is No Need For Russia To Be So Big

A casual glance cast over any world map will show the viewer the immense dimensions of the territory of Russia, with its huge wide-open tracts of land and empty spaces, and it's been claimed by one man that there is absolutely no need whatsoever for…

'The Voice' Results Infuriate Millions of Fans

HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The 19th season of the singing competition show, “The Voice”, has just become the most controversial ever. In a move that fans described as stupid, dumb, and even Trumpian, the producers, for reasons known only to Bravo…

Obama slated to take long vacation

Washington DC Swamp. President Obama, worn out from running the shadow government, is planning an extended vacation, now that a “real” president has been “elected”. Rumor has it that the US government will pay all expenses and provide maximum s…

BBC Tampering With Song: Man To Say The Word 'Faggot' Every Day Until Christmas

The BBC's tampering with the words of The Pogues' Christmas classic song, 'Fairy Tale Of New York', in order to pander to snowflakes, has got one man so angry, that he's claimed he will say the word 'Faggot' every day until Christmas. And possibly…

The NFL Bans Tailgate Parties

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Due to the increasing Coronapalooza numbers, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has decided to put an end to the traditional Sunday football game tailgate parties in the stadium parking lots. Goodell told Sports Terri…

Putin Says US Elections Were Flawed

Vladimir Putin, whose political opponents usually end up dead, shot in the back, falling out of windows, poisoned with umbrellas, or served radioactive tea at the Millennium Hotel in London, had the chops to say that the US 2020 Presidential Election…

Old soldiers found on Western Front, still fighting.

(NOT EDITED) A group of soldiers have been found in a remote part of Belgium. So what you say? Well, these are World War ONE soldiers!! They have stayed in combat for the last 116 years. The division of 30 military troops have been fighting under…

Boris asks the public for help with his password

Since his sinister adviser Dominic Cummings has gone, Boris Johnson's buffoonery has been allowed to romp unchecked. Numerous incidents in recent days have raised alarm among the PM's handlers. First, he posted a photo of his testes on Twitter, mi…

California Fears That The Golden Gate Bridge Could End Up in Nevada

CARPINTERIA, California â€" (Satire News) - There is lots of concern in California, as earthquake experts from Left Coast College are predicting that a big earthquake could be right around the corner. According to tests being run in Japan, they fee…

Man Publishes Very First Joke

A man who is a frequent contributor to a satirical news website has revealed how, after nearly fourteen years as a member, he has written his very first - and, quite possibly, last - joke for the site. Many, many moons ago, all the way back in Dec…

Maria Bartiromo Has Just Become The Most Hated Woman In America

NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" Many U.S. news agencies are reporting that Fox News host, Maria Bartiromo, has just become the most hated woman in America. Bartiromo, who is 53, but looks 83, interviewed President Trump, and, after she finished, s…

Tom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50

He has six Super Bowl rings and 14 Pro Bowl appearances. And he’s a shoo-in for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. But don’t expect Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and New England Patriots legend Tom Brady to hang up his bulky knee brace anytime…