Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Chosen To Be First Recipient Of Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move that is sure to surprise many once they've been made awsre of it, the Manchester United defender and captain, Harry Maguire, has been selected by the British government to be the very first recipient in the country - and, therefore, on Eart…Mexico Asks US To Increase Height Of Border Wall
With the Coronavirus now spreading through all US states like wildfire, the number of positive cases having risen above 14 million, and deaths currently heading for 300,000, the Mexican government has asked Donald Trump if he wouldn't mind finishing…COVID-19 Not All 'Doom And Gloom', Says Man
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, always gets a bad rep, and we hear, on a daily basis, about how terrible it is, and about all the negative aspects connected with it. The huge number of infections, the tragic deaths, how health services have become over…Trump to Take Starring Role in New Marvel Movie ‘The Incredible Sulk’
Those that lie awake at night worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump when he is dragged kicking and screaming from The White House in January can at last get some shut eye. A spokesperson for Walt Disney Studios, Mr Michael Mouse, announc…More People Discovered To Be Living In Bangladesh Than In Russia
In news that will, no doubt startle some readers, and bore others to tears, it's been discovered that, despite the vast difference in the geographical proportions of the two countries, there are more people living in tiny Bangladesh than there are in…Lame Duck Trump Is Illegally Selling Coronavirus Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The FBI has just discovered yet one more business scam that Trump is involved in. Recordings made at Trump’s International Hotel, allegedly show him working out a business deal with a vaccine dealer from Detroit,…San Antonio Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich To Run For Governor of Texas
SAN ANTONIO â€" (Sports Satire) - One of the most successful coaches in the history of professional sports, Gregg Popovich, says that he hates the current Texas governor so much, that he hopes he gets bit in the tongue by a Texas armadillo. Coach Po…Trump Would Shout Rigged Tennis Match If He Lost To Roger Federer
To throw a tantrum, and claim that he really won the 2020 election, and that the outcome was rigged, would be like Trump playing Roger Federer at tennis, getting beaten in a golden set match, then claim the match was rigged. No way could Trump bea…Trump to Pardon Matt Gaetz From Any Pending Charges That He’s an Annoying Tool
Washington - President Donald Trump, on his way out of the White House after being defeated by Joe Biden, has pardoned a number of his political cronies including, recently, formerly National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. He is also considering pa…President Trump Is Now Blaming Space Aliens For His Loss
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that President Trump is now saying that the reason for his landslide loss to Joe Biden is due to space aliens. The sad, aging man who is turning into a zombie, before our very eyes, in…George Michael To Be Remembered Again At Christmas
As the world tries desperately to come to terms with the Coronavirus and all the changes it has brought to everyday life, it's fair to say that this Christmas might be one unlike any other. Shopping for presents in the High Street, if it's permitt…Trump To Pardon Children In Cages
In a move that will warm the very cockles of the heart of every single reader, as well as countless millions of his own supporters who just knew this day must come, President Donald Trump has decided to pardon all the children being held in cages alo…10 Amazing Facts to Impress People
Do people think you're dumb? Boring? Slow-witted? Then why not change their opinion of you by telling them one of these amazing "Did you know..?" facts? It will have people riveted in seconds, and gagging for more exciting facts to be rammed down…Notorious Spoof Forums hit brick walls!
(NOT EDITED) Moses and his Exodus could not have escaped quicker than Spoofers on Spoof Forums running for their literary lives! A once so cherished institution has derailed, and hit buffers with impunity; why? This dark mystery has yet to be solv…Freezing German farm cats give farmer filthy looks and 'down tools!'
(NOT EDITED) Eifel, Germany: A bunch of shivering farm cats, not allowed into the farmhouse because they should be doing their jobs; hunting mice in the barn, and outside, have decided to go on strike because their butts are too cold! Farm cats ca…A man who ill-advisedly attempted to make a second cup of tea with a Lipton's tea bag now says he regrets the plan, after the resultant 'brew' was left looking the same color as a bowl of Quaker Oats. Or, maybe, wallpaper paste. The cuppa was m…
Lady At Work Gets Taste Of Her Own Medicine
A lady working in an office somewhere in London who has said 'Told you so' at least ten times per day, every day for the past 20 years, has had her world turned upside-down by everyone in her regional HQ saying - 'Told you so!' back. When a collea…Santa Claus Told To Stay At Home This Christmas
It's been announced in the last few minutes that a Coronavirus Think Tank made up of representatives from the world's leading powers has issued a strong warning to Santa Claus, telling him to stay at home this Christmas. Claus is known to be somet…Uruguayan greetings sensitive Brits will 'nunca comprender! What a load of 'cojones!'
(NOT EDITED) Innocent, South American footy players, earning their dosh in the UK, are mostly unaware of ultra-sensitive Brits, willing to pounce on anything they do, or say, without even understanding a single thing about South American cultures, tr…President Trump Praises The Founder of the Ku Klux Klan
CRACKERHEAD, Georgia â€" (Satire News) - The President spoke before a crowd of 27 at a Walmart parking lot, and told them that he promises he will never, ever leave the White House, even if someone kidnaps his son, Eric. Trump, who is becoming more…National Gandhi Day Sparks 4-Day Riots
Iconic Indian Chef Mr Gandhi, who was the creator of the legendary Buryani, and had also played international cricket in his spare time, was due to have a statue erected in his honour to mark the anniversary of his death. BLM activists got wind of it…Match.com Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction; Ransom Note Wins for Poetry
NEW YORK â€" The 2020 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today, and among the Fiction and Poetry categories were two surprises. In the fiction category, the match.com profile of Dennis Snead of Burlington, Wisconsin, was selected for its ‘innova…Pardon Christmas Gifts For Trump Children
Santa Claus is coming to Washington D.C. looking just like Donald J. Trump. The three eldest Trump children, plus the son-in-law and Giuliani, are looking for pardons as Christmas gifts. The question is: Why would the five require pardons? Cr…Jake Tapper Interviews Dog With Two Assholes
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath†Harris, bring…President Trump Sells a Destroyer to Kim Jong-un
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" The FBI has announced that the United States government has just sold a U.S. destroyer to North Korea. FBI agent Aloysius Browser told the news media that the sale was discovered when a White House cleaning lady…Obama slated to take long vacation
Washington DC Swamp. President Obama, worn out from running the shadow government, is planning an extended vacation, now that a “real†president has been “electedâ€. Rumor has it that the US government will pay all expenses and provide maximum s…Sean Hannity Tells President Trump To High-Tail It To Mexico Mucho Quicko
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" In what many television news reporters are saying is an amazing development in The Trump Gone Bat Shit Crazy Saga, the President’s biggest supporter, bar none, has just given him some earth-shattering news. POTUS ma…'The Voice' Results Infuriate Millions of Fans
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The 19th season of the singing competition show, “The Voiceâ€, has just become the most controversial ever. In a move that fans described as stupid, dumb, and even Trumpian, the producers, for reasons known only to Bravo…BBC Tampering With Song: Man To Say The Word 'Faggot' Every Day Until Christmas
The BBC's tampering with the words of The Pogues' Christmas classic song, 'Fairy Tale Of New York', in order to pander to snowflakes, has got one man so angry, that he's claimed he will say the word 'Faggot' every day until Christmas. And possibly…Man Says There Is No Need For Russia To Be So Big
A casual glance cast over any world map will show the viewer the immense dimensions of the territory of Russia, with its huge wide-open tracts of land and empty spaces, and it's been claimed by one man that there is absolutely no need whatsoever for…