Able Rodriguez wins Nobel Prize in Literature

STOCKHOLM (World News) - American writer Able Rodriguez won the 2021 Nobel Prize in Literature for works exploring comedy in spoof writing, an "unmistakable…voice that with intelligent perception makes humor universal", the Swedish Academy said on…

Spoof Site To Offer More Statistics For Readers And Writers To Get Orgasmic About

A satirical news and parody website is set to make an effort which, it hopes, will help to keep its writers more aware of the site's daily goings-on, by providing a whole swathe of new information full of historical data regarding 'popular stories' i…

Man Defers Wank For Another Time

A Fort Lauderdale man postponed a highly anticipated wank after realizing that he ran the risk of getting caught in the act by either his wife, his daughter or the guy who 'does the garden'. The man, whose identity cannot be revealed, had planned…

#DeleteFacebook! Facebook Group Deleted

A Facebook Group created calling for a boycott of Facebook after it took the extraordinary step of banning users in Australia from accessing news in a row over paying for content, has been deleted, by Facebook. 'Delete Facebook', 'Boycott Zuckerbe…

Child Welfare Looking Into Parental Skills Of Senator Ted Cruz

After confessing that his daughter's demands motivated him into “Being a good dad and taking them to Cancun,” child welfare services are taking a closer look at the parental skills of Texas Senator Ted Cruz. Is there no discipline in the Cruz hous…

Mars landing is a massive marketing hoax claim inhabitants of other planets in our solar system!

(NOT EDITED) Aliens inhabiting planets in our solar system are up-in-arms (We don't quite know how many arms aliens have) because they believe the Mars landing was a fake, massive publicity stunt, sponsored by a transvestite Bounty-Hunter smelling of…

Man Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck About Space Exploration

Space, the race to the stars, boldly going where no man has gone before, and the colonization of other planets - the stuff of dreams! But not for one man, who spoke up loudly this week, saying that, as far as he was concerned, he really couldn't…

Man Was Forced To Endure Excrutiating Wait Outside Bathroom

A man who was absolutely desperate to use the toilet and who was made to wait outside the bathroom by his wife and daughter who were having a shower, has revealed how 'nipping his cheeks in' caused him extreme discomfort, as well as a good degree of…

Many Republican Women Are Getting “I Love Trump” Tattoos Removed From Their Bodies

DUCK DUNG, Alabama â€" (Satire News) â€" The GOP Gushings News Agency has just divulged that a Republican research group has learned that millions of GOP women are going to tattoo parlors throughout America, and asking to have their “I Love Trump” tattoo…

Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk Form Bezos-Musk Inc.

AUSTIN, Texas â€" (Satire News) â€" The two richest men in the world have just joined forces to form what pundits are calling a super-colossal company. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk recently met at the Buckaroo Bunkhouse Barbecue Restaurant in Austin, wher…

Subway Denies That Their Roast Beef Sandwiches Contain Jellyfish

LOBSTERVILLE, Connecticut â€" (Satire News) â€" A spokesman for the famous sandwich franchise is denying reports that were allegedly put out by a member of the American Nazi Party. Bruno Dirtenhoffen, 42, who is the sergeant-at-arms of the ANP, told a…

Radiohead divulge the truth behind their mega-hit, "I'm a Creep!"

(NOT EDITED) Without mentioning Kardashian and Kanye, which Jaggedone did, sorry, it seems there are more mind-blowing scandals in the rock-pop world than a silicone butt, and extended penis! Droopy-eyed lead singer of Radiohead, Thomas Edward Yor…

A Kansas Farmer Has a Chicken That Lays 80 Eggs a Day

SCARECROW, Kansas â€" (Satire News) â€" The news media has confirmed that a chicken farmer in Scarecrow Kansas, has an astounding eye-laying hen that can lay 80 eggs per day. RumorLand News reporter Zackary Yukon, interviewed Nathan Tadpole, and he wa…

Tehran Nuclear Anvil Showdown: Wile E Biden vs The Trump Runner

BILLINGSGATE POST: Transporting Wile E Biden and the Trump Runner from the friendly confines of the Sonoran Desert to a deserted tarmac outside Tehran was not easy. Promises of being supplied with the advanced ACME ANTI-GRAVITY ANVIL WITH NUCLEAR C…

Editor To Anticipate Stories, And Publish Them Without Writer Having Written Them

A chance, off-the-cuff remark from one of its leading contributors has led to one saitirical news website announcing that its editor will, in the future, approve, correct, and publish submissions BEFORE they have even escaped from the tiny minds of t…

Senator Ted Cruz Still In Hot Water

Texas is frozen, but Ted Cruz is still in hot water. So hot, Cruz could defrost the grid and reconnect gas and electric power for the still frozen Texas community. “I wanted to be a good dad,” he defended. Who can fault that? Certainly not h…

A Cocktail Waitress in Cleveland Has a Vagina That Can Yodel

CLEVELAND â€" (Satire News) â€" Cleveland’s Eye-Spectator News Channel 91 reports there is a woman who works as a cocktail waitress who has just found out that she has an amazing talent. Lea Jo Skeggy, who is 27 years old, says she recently discovered…

Ted says Goodbye to his Dog on the way to the Tropics

You’ll be OK, boy. You know that shivering makes you warm right? Good boy. Now, when your water freezes, you can scratch at it with your claws OK? Remember the vet saying your nails should be clipped once a year? Wasn’t he a moron? So daddy…

Spoof Boss Admits That Technical Glitch Now Means That 1-Star Ratings Now Benefit Writers By 100 Points

The owner of a satirical news website has admitted that a technical error made during some routine maintenance work has resulted in a bonus for writers whose work attracts a normally derogatory 1-star rating - they now GAIN 100 points, instead of 1 p…

Besides Skipping Texas, Senator Ted Cruz Has A Puddle Belly

Besides skipping Texas during the freeze to vacation in Cancun, Senator Ted Cruz was filmed walking across the airport, pulling a pregnant suitcase, as though he were planning to stay a month. He claimed it was an overnight stay. All that was suf…

Aldi & Lidl offering Covid-19 vaccines at discounter prices!

(NOT EDITED) German giant supermarket discounters have discovered a medical loophole to increase their popularity even more! Personnel joining their teams of slave-driven shelf-fillers, and non-smiling cashiers, are being given 'jab courses'! Punt…

Oceanic Scientists Discover That The Bermuda Triangle is Really a Trapezoid

MIAMI â€" (Satire News) â€" A group of oceanic scientists have just announced that the mysteriously mystical Bermuda Triangle is actually not a triangle, but a trapezoid. Dr. Filbert R. Fibbingshire stated that the somewhat scary, somewhat legendary B…

Daytona 500 NASCAR Driver Was Caught With 75 Pounds of Marijuana in His Race Car

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida â€" (Sports Satire) â€" NASCAR officials are red faced after racing authority inspectors found that one of the drivers was found to have a quantity of marijuana stashed underneath the driver’s seat of his race car. Inspectors ch…

Man With Herpes On His Top Lip Told His Wife "It's Nowt"

A man who had a rather unsightly mark on his top lip, which eventually turned out to be a nasty case of Herpes Simplex* was forced to tell a blatant lie to his wife when she asked him what it was. Moys Kenwood, 57, noticed the pronounced red blemi…

Texas Is Freezing

How can the citizens of the fuel capital of the nation be freezing? Yes, there’s a storm of biblical proportions, but Texas has always been regarded as the nation’s fuel capital. People in Texas are burning old clothes not fuel, bringing barbecue…

"You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee" played continuously at Greek Refugee Camp

Lesbos, Greece - Refugees at the infamously wretched refugee camp on the Greek island bordering Turkey, tell the international Press willing to go there that Tom Petty's 1980 classic rock hit "You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee" is sometimes playe…

Biden Hits One Out Of The Ball Park

After four years in the gloom and negativism, and the fighting of Donald Trump, his family, his sycophants and his hangers-on and his wannabees, has come to a stop, the windows are open wide, fresh air is coming in, and Joe Biden is President of the…

Scientists prove a 'Bad Day at the Office' is only curable by going back to bed!

(NOT EDITED) Sometimes everything goes 'pear shape' in one day! So, a group of over-worked Dutch psychiatrists have engaged a team of scientists to find a solution for this ever-increasing syndrome. This frustrating syndrome has tripled ever sinc…

Donald Trump Announces 3rd Divorce

Stop the presses! This is a surprise. Guess who is getting a divorce? Donald Trump! But here's the real surprise: it isn’t from Melania, but from, of all people, Rudolph Giuliani! It was the dripping hair color. Soooo un-Trump! One inch, maybe. I…

Irish Split

Despite the recent bitterly cold spell in Ireland, unlike most sensible people, Pegeen Na Squarehole insisted on going out without gloves on, as well as washing her hands in cold water, without applying moisturiser afterwards. As a result of all…