Coronavirus Could Be With Us Forever, Says Former Basil Brush Companion Roy North
The Coronavirus, Covid-19, which surfaced in the Chinese city of Wuhan earlier this year, is proving to be a formidable foe, may prove to be unvanquishable, and might be with us, amongst the human population forever. Boom! Boom! So says the actor…Delia Smith Says Brexit Has Left A Bland Taste In Her Mouth
Celebrity cookstress Delia Smith might not be the most likely candidate to put people straight about the political issues of the day, but she's been speaking on the subject of Britain's exit from the European Union this week, and she might just make…Trump Clinks 3 Bottles Together, asks Biden to ‘Come out and play-ee-ay’
WASHINGTON â€" In a move designed to appeal to the 51 to 56-year-old demographic, Donald Trump appeared in the Rose Garden this morning with three empty beer bottles. He held them by sticking 3 fingers of his right hand into the bottle necks and then s…New equation proves existence of alien Steely Dan
First there was the Drake Equation, devised in 1961, which theorised the existence of alien civilisations, and now a New York scientist has gone one better by proving that the existence of an alien version of the 1970s jazz rock band Steely Dan is a…HONG KONG â€" (Trivia News) - In a move that the civilized world is referring to as the epitome of a tit-for-tat game, China’s leader Xi Jinping has decided to rub tit-tatting in Trump’s face. The Chinese leader said that he has had it up to his ear…
Political Pundits Say The Double-Haters Will Vote For Joe Biden
CHICAGO â€" (Satire News) - The political clock is tick-tocking away, and it's just mere weeks before the presidential election arrives, and many say it can’t get here quick enough. Reuters is reporting that both campaigns are confident that each on…Miley Cyrus Recreates Her 2013 Wrecking Ball Video at the 2020 MTV Music Video Awards
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - According to several celebrity publications, pop icon Miley Cyrus ran away with the MTV Music Video Awards Show that was held in the Big Apple. Bam Bam Boom News reported that the former twerking queen hit it out of…Hitler Youth storm Reichstag Building in Berlin!
(UNEDITED) History repeated itself in Berlin after Nazi morons decided to copy French revolutionaries and their successful attempt to storm the Bastille. However, this storm, not a hurricane, but Americans could do with one to topple Trumpy, was not…A Noted Meteorologist Says The California Wildfires are Being Fanned by the Coronavirus
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California â€" (Satire News) - One of the nation’s leading meteorologists has just announced that 89% of California’s wildfires are being fanned by the Coronavirus. Dr. Irving Ortega stated that, after a 16-week extensive study, he…Sharp-eyed security officials have begun investigating links to foreign powers in our wildlife parks. Suspicions have fallen particularly on pandas. “They are Chinese, aren’t they?†revealed Lady Flake (Home Office and Gardens). “What are they do…
Formula One Set To Re-Introduce Dolly-Birds…
After the age old debate of 'What Came First - The Chicken Or The Egg?', Formula One has had its fair share of similar debates. The biggest one being, 'Is This Even A Sport?' After years of pub fights, ruined Sundays, and even days when you though…Washington - GOP Convention speeches, which included appearances by accomplished, insightful, and respected speakers such as Eric Trump, Tiffany Trump, Melania Trump, Donald Trump Jr. and girlfriend of Donald Trump Jr., focused the emergence of the "…
Biden Coughs Up Hairball On “The Viewâ€, Whoopi Goldberg Loses Lunch
BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen to Joe Biden sooner or later. No matter how fastidious he might be, if you have a penchant for sniffing hair, someday an alarming and somewhat disgusting thing will happen to you. After coming out of his baseme…Trump Tweet: "My Favorite Bible Story is When Jesus Drove Antifa Out of the Tabernacle. Awesome!"
Washington - President Donald Trump, fresh off his triumphant GOP Convention in which every single family member and their girlfriends endorsed him for President, relaxed Sunday with some well deserved golf, but not before getting on twitter to refle…Man Isn't Going To Fall For That Old Chestnut
A man has spoken out assertively, and said that he might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even so, he's not going to fall for that old chestnut! Myke Woodson, of Oaf-on-Sea, East Yorkshire, said that he is not as daft as he looks, and…MANCHESTER, New Hampshire - (Satire News) â€" The President was in Manchester holding a campaign pep rally before a crowd of 220 supporters, all unmasked, and not a one adhering to the self-distancing policy. They crowd of MAGAians cheered everythin…
Giancarlo Granda, Alias “The Falwell Pool Boy†Finally Speaks Out
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) - After staying quiet for several days, the nation’s most famous former pool cleaner is speaking out. Giancarlo Granda told TMZ that Jerry and Becki Falwell, who claim to be devoted evangelicals, are about as religio…Europe recovering from worst of coronavirus
Statistics show that Europe have been among the worst-hit by coronavirus throughout the world, yet their response was positive and they appear to be recovering well. I spoke to singer Joey Tempest about the pandemic. "When drummer Tony Reno was ho…2020: The Year Of The Polished Turd…
After the year everybody has had so far, Spoof writer Paul Blake has won a coveted Pulitzer Prize. In May, it was decided to scrap the prize due to the pandemic, but after a serious amount of sensible thinking by the Americans, they decided to aw…Joe Pasquale Makes Wedding Speech About Immigration
Joe Pasquale, the Cockney Joe Pesci, who stunned listeners with his forthright views on Brexit recently, has done it again, this time on the extremely sensitive topic of immigration. In front of a large gathering of guests at a wedding party he ha…Captions To Be Used For Donald Trump’s Future Speeches
The networks have decided, to avoid any misunderstandings during a future speech given by Donald Trump (that could perhaps accidentally ignite World War III), to introduce the addition of captions at the bottom of the screen. Just above the crawl.Arsenal Players Scoff The Lot…
Arsenal fans were last night delighted to be given the Charity Shield, which is just a big silver platter of sandwiches filled with the usual egg and cress, coronation chicken, spam and corned beef. Once that platter was finished, they moved onto…Only 500 pictures of the Kardashians uploaded to the internet today
There was shock around the world today when, what with everything else that was happening, only 500 new photos featuring a Kardashian were uploaded to the internet. Kim, Kourtney, and the other five or six, barely featured in a news day that seeme…Trump's former lover comes out of hiding
President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, finally got to make his nomination acceptance speech yesterday, but not before a mysterious personality from his dim past threatened to spoil his big day. Before taking the stage, the President was…There was an outbreak of hilarity tinged, however, with a certain amount of disgust, when a man in a pub revealed to his mates how he'd observed a woman on a bus pick a big, long, green bogey from her nose, and then wipe her finger on the seat. My…
Making A Mountain Out Of An Ickle Hill…
David Icke shocked the Trafalgar Square audience yesterday for the anti-covid-mask-wearing-conspiracy-protest by leaving the stage with the microphone, hopping into the back of his VW Camper-Van with his blonde bimbo, and forgetting to switch the mic…China Invents a Television Antenna You Can Wear on Your Head
HONG KONG â€" (Satire News) - The Republic of China is fast becoming the Japan of the electronics business world. Electronics experts in Hong Kong have just invented a television antenna that can be worn on one’s head. The antenna only weighs 13…WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) - Representatives for ASCAP have just announced that President Trump’s campaign has just been fined $2 million for not securing the rights to use Leonard Cohen’s song “Hallelujah†at the RNC White House closing festiv…
A sunny afternoon spent on a gentle bike ride in the countryside turned to shit for a man on Thursday, after the bicycle he was riding got a puncture in the back tyre. The incident took place on a long stretch of road between Tapon commune and Bat…