Food Vendors Formed Around Motorcycle Accident
Sometimes, you think you've seen everything, but then you see something to make you realize you haven't, and that was exactly the case earlier today when a man who thought he had seen everything, saw something else to make him realize he hadn't. A…Man Told Tuk Tuk Driver To Go And Fuck Himself
A tuk tuk driver who persistently pestered a man walking through a town center, asking him where he was going and whether or not he wanted to travel in comfort, was rounded upon by the man, and told, in no uncertain terms, to go and fuck himself.Extraterrestrial Galactic Federation Meets With President Trump
BILLINGSGATE POST: Haim Eshed, a former chief of the Israel Defense Ministry’s space directorate, says that extraterrestrials from a Galactic Federation have been in contact with him, that President Trump is aware of this, and was previously "on the…Anti-Vaccine Lout Claims Vaccine Contains Chip
A news report about the UK roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine in London earlier today, contained what is being described as a "potentially damaging theory", after a long-haired lout said he would be resisting any government orders to be vaccinated b…Doing Nothing Is Hard Work For Trump
At a rally in Georgia, Donald Trump announced that trying to overturn the 2020 election during the last three weeks was the hardest three weeks of work he's ever done. The audience went crazy. He didn’t lift a finger to try to stop the spread o…Hospital Porter Drops Box Of COVID-19 Vaccine
As the UK roll-out of COVID-19 vaccinations got underway in London this morning, there was a hiccup almost immediately, when a hospital porter carrying a box containing 200 phials of the lifesaving vaccine stumbled and fell, dropping his load in the…The Pussy Grabber Wants To Give Himself A Pardon
The very same guy, Donald Trump, who said he likes to grab a woman by the pussy, “…and you can get away with it because you’re famous…†now wants to issue a Self Pardon. For pussy grabbing? That's old hat! He can get away with pussy-grabbing b…Source: White House Ordering Reams of Paper Shredders
The White House is said to be ordering large amounts of paper shredders and burn barrels, as it appears likely that Donald Trump will not win re-election. According to a source within the Administration, who spoke off the record, ventilators original…Ode to 2020 called 'Currant Bun!'
(NOT EDITED) 2020 comes to an end, Bob Dylan has sold his musical rights for $300 million bucks, pandemic is still biting our arses, Brexit is pathetic, Man United too, so, here we go!! CURRANT BUN 2020 was not much fun Apres-ski morons in…Mysterious Mirrored Monolith on the Isle of Wight
On Tuesday morning, the residents of Compton were astounded to discover that the Utah monolith had appeared on their beach. The monolith that vanished from Utah, only to appear in Romania, arrived on Tuesday morning, appearing against the World Fa…Experience: I fathered two of Boris Johnson's children
That arse Johnson is supposedly a serial shagger, but I gave him a dose of his own medicine. It was several years ago, and it went on for a while. Bozo's wife was mightily pissed off at his never-ending peccadillos, and she wanted to get her own b…Movie Theater CEOs Desperate For Business Are Now Offering Lap Dances
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" Executives with five major movie theater groups in the United States are stressed-out over the fact that no one is going out to movie theaters. The Herculean 14-Movie Theater Complex, in Cleveland, reported that, last w…President Trump Has Become One Big Orange Ball of Stress
LOOSE WOMAN, Georgia â€" (Satire News) â€" President Trump, desperate to rake in even more money, spoke before a crowd of 1.3 million maskless supporters (his estimate), in Loose Woman, Georgia. Trump opened up with blatant lie after blatant lie, stat…The Unbeaten Pittsburgh Steelers Go Down
PITTSBURGH â€" (Sports Satire) â€" There was no joy or happiness at Heinz Field, aka Ketchup Stadium, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, as evidenced by the sad faces on every Steelers fan. Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, was reportedly so upset that his t…Man Has Got A Great Big Boil On His Arse
News just reaching us in the last few minutes is that a dirty, great big boil has been discovered on a man's arse, and may need lancing by a qualified medical professional. The boil sprang up on the arse of Moys Kenwood, 57, on Sunday morning, and…Five University of Texas Players Test Positive For COVID
AUSTIN - (Sports Satire) - Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has informed her readers that the entire defensive line for the Texas Longhorns are out with the Coronavirus. Longhorns Coach, Tom Herman, said that, at first, the t…The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #10: The Moth
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…Worst Football Player In The World At It Again…
Rojer Walters, the Argentinian wonderkid, who was once described as the next Claudio Cannigia, turned up at Tannadice Park in the 1990s, and chapped the door to get a trial. After being laughed back out the door, the young Cannigia lookalike had noth…Why Talk To The Monkey (Sleepy Joe) When You can Talk To The Organ Grinder (George Soros)?
BILLINGSGATE POST: If there were any doubt about who is the monkey and who is the organ grinder running the Democrat Party, this doubt was cast aside with the news that the president of George Soros’ Open Society Foundations, Patrick Gaspard, will r…Pint of best Bitter and a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps will stop environmental destruction!
(NOT EDITED) Cows, sheep, oxen, and other herds of animals have been blamed for farting too much! Mega-tons of methane gas are released into the atmosphere causing the planet to warm up, not polluted factories, airplanes, cars, trucks, and other huma…With all the constant noise, contradictions, lies, exaggerations, and buffoonery coming out of Donald Trump, many, many, and still many, many more are asking: Is anyone really listening to Donald Trump? Is Trump relevant? Short reply: No. L…
Experience: I was sexually assaulted by Margaret Thatcher
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…We all have them to make at some point in our lives, and tough decisions are, by their very nature, not easy ones to take, and that is exactly the case for one man during the coming weeks, as he faces what might quite possibly be the toughest decisio…
Pussy Riot Files a Lawsuit Against President Trump
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Satire News) â€" According to Boom Boom News, the Russian all-girl rock band, Pussy Riot, has filed a $17 million lawsuit against President Trump. The attorney for the band, Babette Nimbus, informed Boom Boom, that Pussy Riot has to…Republican Kelly Loeffler Got Her Robot Ass Kicked By Democrat Raphael Warnock
ATLANTA â€" (Satire News) - Every national news media organization is saying that Kelly Loeffler looked like a cross between a zombie, Ann Coulter, and a Stepford Wife. Many who watched the Georgia Television Debate between “Hairzilla†Loeffler and…New York Jets Football Jerseys Fall From $99 Down To $2
NEW YORK CITY â€" (Sports Satire) â€" Jets coach Adam Gase was asked if he is ready for the season to be over. He looked at Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, and replied that he was ready for the season to be over six weeks ago.Kylie Jenner To Market Nude Bras
HOLLYWOOD â€" (Satire News) â€" The five Kardashian sisters have been called the richest sisters in America. They have also been called the biggest big-assed sisters in America, as well. The girls have starred in three different reality shows, “Keepin…Dr. Fauci Says President Trump Needs To Visit An Exorcist
WASHINGTON, D.C. â€" (Satire News) â€" RumorLand News is reporting that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who is the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has made his strongest comment yet, regarding the President. Dr. Fauci, who h…Rehearsals for Obama needle jab start soon; cast expanding
Mr. Obama has said he will step forward to get the Covid 19 vaccine in a televised event to encourage confidence in the public. This versus 36% of nurses who say they will not take it, and that, contrary to usual procedures, the vaccines have been…Manchester United demand they start games in the second half!
(NOT EDITED) All the negative adjectives in the English dictionary can be slung at Manchester United in a series of quite disgraceful first 45-minute performances! Their manager, Ole, has found a solution to this problem and is demanding the EFA (Eng…